How do I even begin to explain Billy Joel?
Billy Joel is flawless. He has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus.
I hear his hair’s insured for ten-thousand dollars.
I hear he does car commercials. In Japan.
His favorite movie is Varsity blues.
One time, he met John Stamos on a plane. And he told him he was pretty.
One time, he punched me in the face. It was awesome.
He always looks fierce. He always wins Spring Fling Queen.