My grandmother is a treasure trove of crafting resources. If you need a certain type of fabric, she has it. If you’ve always wanted to latch-hook a rug, she’s got kits for that. She’s spent a lot of time at auctions, bidding on crafting lots, so occasionally she ends up with stuff she doesn’t need, like knitting stuff. She doesn’t knit, so she passes these things along to me, because I am also crafty.
This is how I came into possession of the single most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. The February-March 1984 edition of Annie’s Pattern Club. Behold:
It’s nice to know that Pennywise has some hobbies to keep him busy. Seriously, the first time I looked at this cover, I didn’t see the fucking clown. In fact, the second time I looked at this cover, I didn’t see the fucking clown. Like clowns often do, he was lurking, waiting to unleash his horror when I least expected it. I picked this up, said, “Huh, that’s kind of a cute afghan there I OH MY GOD NO.”
You’ll notice that the cover promises a needle craft “surprise”. What is that surprise, you ask? Murder. The surprise is murder. By clown. Possibly with a knitting needle.
Sweet dreams.