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Month: March 2015

Let’s Clear Up Some Misconceptions

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Hey there, internet land. There are rumors going around, so I’m gonna address some of them. Let me establish some things that need to be established:

  • My words are my words. Nobody else is responsible for them.
  • I work with a few different companies. They do not endorse my statements.
  • I work with a few different industry professionals. They do not endorse my statements.
  • Anything I say is just me saying it. I am not a representative of anyone else.
  • I am not going to start trouble or be controversial at anyone’s event. I am a pleasant, easy to get-along with person. When I come to an event, I am there to meet people who want to meet me and hang out with them. I am not there for drama or to ruin anyone’s convention.

I also want to further my apparently controversial position on books/movies/tv pirating. I don’t care. I legitimately do not care if anyone does it. The only time I have ever reported someone for pirating a book of mine is when it’s a book published by a publisher, within two years of publication. Why? Because that publisher invested in me and it would be pretty shitty of me to see something like that and not give them a heads up.

There are some of you out there saying, “How would you feel if someone encouraged piracy of one of your books?” or “I hope your books get pirated.” There are readers who could verify that they’ve posted on their twitter or their tumblr that they’re looking for illegal downloads of my self-published books and I’ve provided them with those links. I pirate my own books. You can’t wish this ill upon me. I’m already doing it myself.

Also, please don’t approach me on Facebook about any of this. I barely ever use Facebook. If you have a concern about my statements or statements others have made about me, contact me via email, my twitter, or the comments section here. Otherwise, I probably won’t see them.

Jenny Trout is being illegal.

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CONTENT WARNING: MORE DISCUSSION OF THOMAS JEFFERSON/SALLY HEMINGS

Yesterday evening, I started receiving messages on Facebook and Twitter telling me, “Um, here’s a link to Jaid Black’s facebook, and you might want to check it out.” I’m not really the person who handles all the Ellora’s Cave nonsense, though I support authors who have had issues there and believe that Black’s repeated public meltdowns are harming her company, but I thought, whatever, I’ll take a look.

GOD ALMIGHTY.

kevintantrum1 kevintantrum2

 

As you can see, Kevin is angry that I encouraged consumer action with regards to a Sally Hemings/Thomas Jefferson BDSM novel. How could I? How could I possibly get offended–without even reading it!–over something that depicts the repeated rapes of a real-life woman as a consensual relationship with the man who owned her as property, in order to sell shitty novelty BDSM? What kind of monster am I?

Well, not the kind of monster who describes a slave as her owner’s “mistress” and insists that Jefferson and Hemings were in a consensual relationship. As for Sally Hemings’s diary, I’m a little confused. Because, you know, Thomas Jefferson wrote tons of letters in his lifetime to all of his friends and family, and if he was in such a consensual, loving relationship with Hemings, he surely would have written them to her, as well, right? Oh, my mistake. See, it’s generally understood that, as a slave, Sally Hemings would have been illiterate. Therefore, she could not have kept this magical diary that only Kevin knows about it. A quick google search for “Sally Hemings diary” turns up a lot about an opera with those words in the title, while a good search for “Was Sally Hemings illiterate” turns up, you know. People talking about how she was illiterate. How did Kevin miss that in his research?

One of the things I love about Kevin’s screed is the adjectives he uses. “Vengeful.” “DESPICABLE.”

“Big shot.”

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Kevin seems to think my objection is to BDSM books in general. You’d think the guy whose research uncovered the existence of a never-before discovered Sally Hemings diary would have at least done a little digging–I mean, he was right here on my blog, for Christ’s sake–to figure out what I write.

Other highlights from this screencap:

  • Attorney Kevin Weinberg offers his expert legal advice.
  • I have ergot poisoning (it’s what motivated the Salem witch trials, which Jaid feels is the same force motivating me).
  • You’re all brainwashed and acting according to my orders.

Look, guys. If I’ve effectively brainwashed you, please let me know. I have a lot of shit that needs getting done, and I could really use a mindless army of babbling sycophants to do it for me.

kevintantrum4

Okay, I finally understand why Jaid Black wrote that I “attacked” her. She claims that I accused her of lying about Ellora’s Cave not paying some of their authors, cover artists, etc. The thing is, in order to not accuse Black of lying, I would have to accuse, oh, dozens of authors, some of whom I know personally, of lying. And since I’m not new to the book biz, I know that if a lot of authors and editors and other professionals are saying, “I’m not being paid what I’m owed,” that’s smoke indicating a huge fire. Dorchester, anyone? So no, I’m not going to pledge my undying loyalty to a company or its owner when there are clear indications that something isn’t quite right behind the scenes.

Other highlights:

  • Not liking milk is exactly the same thing as not liking blatant racism.
  • Writing a book about Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemings in a consensual relationship isn’t racist.
  • “the more…militant of communities” read: people whose daily lives are affected by the lingering stain of black slavery in America, aka, black people, for some reason don’t want to accept that Jefferson and Hemings were deeply in love.

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“It’s all still on her blog. She has no shame” Well, no, Kevin. I have no shame. Because I’m not ashamed to say, “Hey, this shit is fucked up and gigantic retailers who sometimes don’t know what’s being given the green light through their independent publishing platform have a right to know what they’re selling.” I’m not ashamed to dispute the expertise of “historians” who romanticize literally everything Thomas Jefferson ever did.

Because I took so many screencaps Kevin and Jaid’s fuckwittery last night, I have this one here that’s out of context with the rest of the thread, but that’s okay, because the points addressed are standalone:

Kevin knows feminism Keving grew up in Brooklyn

I want to make it clear that I do not believe I am a “protector” of women of color. I think white people have a social responsibility to call out racism, because we’re the ones who created it. We’re the ones who kidnapped and sold other human beings. We’re the ones who continued to hold those human beings down out of resentment that we couldn’t continue to abuse, rape, and enslave them. That’s our mess, and it’s absolutely our job to clean it up. And a part of that? Really is protecting women of color from this type of casual violence that my racial group has caused and continues to cause. Does that mean I think I’m Batman? Absolutely not. Does it mean that I think people of color can’t protect or stand up for themselves? Not at all.

Kevin believes that I don’t know the difference between slavery in BDSM and slavery in history. Which is laughable, considering how much time Kevin has spent brutally confusing the two in his defense of the book. Kevin also believes that I don’t realize that women of color read erotica. This is another interesting thing I didn’t know about myself, since I assumed that the women of color who write and enjoy reading BDSM erotica, some of whom have voiced the same objections over this book, were a part of that demographic he just described.

One thing Kevin is right about is that women are smart enough to not buy something they find offensive. They’re even smart enough to take action and complain to an online merchant when they feel that thing is so offensive, it shouldn’t be sold. And that’s what happened, Kevin. Women are smart. They’re just not smart in a way you agree with. That’s your own problem.

Jaid Black wants it to be known that “black women aren’t children, ffs. They need allies, not protectors.” This conversation on Facebook was going on while Black spouted transphobic bullshit on Twitter. Later, she became hostile while engaging with women of color on the subject of Sally Hemings/Thomas Jefferson. I’m not sure Jaid Black knows the definition of “ally,” but in a lot of social justice circles, it’s not unusual for self-professed allies to behave exactly the way Black did yesterday. Her Twitter account has since been deleted, which is probably a good move on her part.

Other features of interest in this screenshot:

  • Kevin has decided that the term “people of color” is eye-roll worthy because he’s never heard it used.
  • I’m a white matron (“matronize” is the rarely used feminine form of “patronize,” so guess who got herself a word-of-the-day calendar!)
  • Kevin has thoughts about feminism that weren’t worth expanding his comment to read.
  • Kevin grew up in Brooklyn.

I’m not a big fan of limp-dick wannabes running around trying to get attention by crying “bully” all the time, and that’s what Kevin here seems to be. Several people contacted me last night to inform me that Kevin here has been all up in Anne Rice’s now-deleted Amazon forum thread, kissing her ass and begging for attention. Apparently, screaming and crying about bullies is also his pastime, as well. He’s so fucking obnoxious, even Stop The GoodReads Bullies fucking hate him.

 

Look at this mathematical Adventure Time room!

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Julie, citizen of Trout Nation, and her boyfriend decided to do something special for his seven year old son. It is…algebraic!

Adventure Time

That’s not the best part! Wait for it…

Adventure Time Jake

Oh my glob, forget a race car bed! This lucky kid gets to sleep on Jake every night!

I’m so glad Julie shared these pictures with me, and then let me share them with all of you. This totally made my day, and also I am feverish with envy.

Bad Boy Next Door boxed set cover reveal!

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Bad Boys Next Door Box Set — Available March 16, 2015

 

There’s just something about a bad boy… It could be that neighbor you’ve had the hots for forever. Or maybe the guy in the cabin or office next door. It might even be a guy you meet on vacation or one you’ve known since you were a kid.

 

Twelve prolific authors, including New York Times Bestseller and USA Today Bestseller, Selena Kitt, and USA Today Bestseller, Jenny Trout writing as Abigail Barnette, present a sizzling collection of erotic romance sure to bring you to your knees and make you believe in love again – or, at least, lust at first sight!

 

Set also includes: Gwendolyn Cease, Bronwyn Green, Tilly Greene, Elise Hepner, Jessica Jarman, Sommer Marsden, Kris Norris, Paige Prince, Charlotte Stein, and Alison Tyler.

 

Abigail Barnette (Jenny Trout) – Bad Boy, Good Man

 

Newly independent real-life adult Ellie McCormack loves everything about her first apartment…except her neighbor. His bi-weekly sex fests keep her up at night in more ways than one as she wonders about the man who’s making all the noise—and what he’s doing to make his women so damn loud.

 

But even her wildest fantasies couldn’t conjure up a man like Antony DeLuca. When she works up the nerve to confront him, she’s expecting a player, but there’s more to Antony than his carefree sexual escapades. One hot night with him helps Ellie see through the man who drives women wild, to the good guy beneath it all. A guy that she just might be able to fall for…

 

Gwendolyn Cease – No Strings

 

All Kaitlin O’Neal wants to do is fix her sink. She’s intelligent and resourceful. Plus, she’s got her own tools. How hard could it be? Apparently, extremely hard, since her attempt left the sink in an unusable condition. When her next-door neighbor, Cameron Sinclair, offers to help her fix the mess and renovate the rest of the kitchen, she jumps at the chance. She’d be a fool not to, right? Cameron, though, is hotter than hot and makes her an offer she can’t refuse.

 

Cameron has wanted Kaitlin since she moved next door. So what if she’s older than him? She’s beautiful, sexy, and he wants to get to know her better. He offers her a no strings affair—one he hopes will keep her coming back to his bed. Between home improvements and steamy sex, Cameron realizes that their no strings fling will never be enough, but can he convince Kaitlin he’s worth the risk?

 

Bronwyn Green – Drawn That Way

 

Tristan Weaver, accountant for a successful video game company, is in way over her head. Honestly answering a company-wide survey and criticizing the sexist stereotypes used in the company’s games was enough to catch her boss’ attention.But speculating on his sex life within his earshot has unexpected consequences when her hot, but nerdy, boss invites her to model for him.

 

Owner, artist and lead developer of Brecken Games, Rory Brecken, has a strict no fraternizing with employees rule. However, when he overhears Tristan’s conversation with her friend about his rumored kinks and begins to suspect her curiosity in the submissive side of sex, he’s more than a little tempted. When her interest is undeniably confirmed, he suggests a onetime only, colleagues with benefits hook-up.

 

Though neither want a relationship, once isn’t enough for either one of them. As their encounters become more intense, Rory makes a huge mistake that may cost him the woman he’s coming to love.

 

Tilly Greene – Her Wicked Ride

 

Mike Mulligan co-owns a garage and fixes cars. He rides a Harley, is covered in tattoos and has spent time in jail. Since being released he’s tried to live a clean life, but he’s a bad boy with women, very bad and terribly sexy. Bondage, domination, and so much more, are his preferences when playing with the ladies, and there have been a variety until the last one.

 

For the first time, he had to work for a yes. All summer, they’ve had fabulously wild no-holds-barred sex, but one morning everything changes.With chaos in the garage, a cup of coffee in hand, and a half-naked Sherry Gonzales in his lap, his eyes are opened to wanting more than sex with her. Mike’s solution is to go on a date, their first date.

 

The night starts out fine. But things get wicked on the back of his bike before taking a turn, but for the good or bad?

 

Elise Hepner – A Marriage of Inconvenience

 

When Izzy Thorton’s mother falls ill and is given a terminal diagnosis the last thing Izzy anticipates is a proposal from her best friend, Sebastian Leery, to fulfill her mother’s dying wish. Only one snafu keeps Izzy from saying yes—she’s in love with him. But before she can say much of anything to his proposal, Bash takes the reins by telling her mother the good news.

 

Unable to fight her undeniable attraction to her playboy best friend—Izzy goes through with the best and worst mistake of her life. No sooner are the rings exchanged when they both realize their friendship can only bridge so many gaps. Sebastian has no hope of keeping his skeletons in the closet and Izzy doesn’t know how much longer she can keep her heart out of the equation.

 

Together they fumble through the darkness of their past to a future that might just be a little more clear–if they can fight their chemistry long enough to talk.

 

Jessica Jarman – London Bound

 

After losing her husband six years ago, Meg Stevens has focused on the day-to-day and being a mother, not sparing a thought for anything beyond—no dates, no excitement, no life other than what she already had. A six-week vacation to London, all but forced on her by her two children, changes all of that. Meg meets the man of her dreams—gorgeous, dominant, and completely on board with a short-term fling—despite the fact he’s far too young for her.

 

Nathan Harris is more than a bit curious about the beautiful woman renting the upstairs flat, and once he talks to her, curiosity is quickly replaced by arousal and desire. It doesn’t take long before it’s clear she longs to experience sexual submission, and Nathan finds himself desperate to be the one she submits to.

 

Her days spent exploring the city, her nights exploring Nathan and the pleasure submitting to him brings, Meg discovers the trip she’d taken out of obligation has turned into something she doesn’t want to walk away from. However, the life she left behind beckons, and there’s no room there for dreaming of something she can never have.

 

Selena Kitt – Working for the Weigands

 

Lloyd “Boone” Goodhart has been working for the Weigands since he was in high school, mowing their ornamental lawn, shoveling their long, winding driveway and skimming their enormous in-ground pool for extra cash, much of which he gives to his mom, a single-mother who has worked in the Wal-Mart bakery for twenty years. Boone, more apathetic cynic than true slacker, is also attending community college, bagging groceries at a local supermarket, and rebuilding his dead-beat dad’s old Harley.

 

His second summer after high school graduation starts out just as mundane and routine as the first, but Boone’s world turns upside down when Mrs. Weigand tells him her husband has left her, and her daughter has returned from boarding school in Europe, where Danielle “Ellie” Weigand has spent the past five years.

 

Before he knows which way is up, Mrs. Weigand starts requesting extra services of Boone—in more ways than one—while her daughter, Ellie, teases him mercilessly, just like she did in junior high. He soon finds himself immersed in a desperate, passionate affair, with not just one woman, but two.

 

Will the attention of both mother and daughter be more than he can handle, or will his growing feelings for them be more than he can bear?

 

Sommer Marsden – The Anniversary Party

 

Kylie Walker is cracking under the stress of hosting a thirtieth anniversary party for her parents and trying to keep up with her freelance writing deadlines. With a new house, a well-meaning but useless sister, and roughly forty people about to descend on her home, she doesn’t think it can get much worse. Until her mother’s friend, Mrs. Sinclair, calls to ask if they might bring one more person. Her son, Wade. The man who up and left Kylie eight years before.

 

Wade Sinclair has come back to town with one hope—to make things right with his high school sweetheart. Still hopelessly in love with Kylie, Wade knows he must come clean about why he left her all those years ago so he can finally set about reclaiming what he never should have let go of in the first place—her love.

 

Can they put their past behind them and look toward the future? Or will the anniversary party be the end of them altogether?

 

Kris Norris – Force of Nature

 

Love—an unparalleled force of nature.

 

Conservation Officer, Finley McKay, isn’t a stranger to criticism. Taking risks to protect delicate ecosystems doesn’t impress most people—including the doctor renting the cabin beside hers. The man’s arrogant, opinionated and far too sexy in his faded jeans and tees. She already knows he’s an ass—she just wished it mattered enough to make her keep her distance.

 

Dr. Coen Brady isn’t looking to fit in. Having recently retired from the military, he’s hoping to spend a few months hiding from the world in a small, out-of-the-way town in northern Washington.

 

But just his luck, he has the misfortune of running into his next-door neighbor. A girl who seems determined to get herself killed before his time there is up. She’s reckless, stubborn and slowly driving him insane.

 

When anger morphs into angry sex, Coen knows taking her to bed is a calculated risk—one he might regret when her investigation turns deadly, leaving Finley’s life hanging in the balance. Breaking a few rules to keep her in the game doesn’t seem that dangerous, until it becomes painfully obvious she won’t stop until justice is served—even if the price is her life.

 

Paige Prince – Lost Treasure

 

Danielle Almasi-Epperson’s parents were killed in a tragic car accident when she was eight years old, leaving her world famous, Egyptologist grandfather to raise her in their stead. While she had the pleasure of growing up on archaeological digs, he never believed that the field was a woman’s place. All she’s ever dreamed of is adventure and the kind of love her parents had.

 

Jareth Riley was the boy in the tent next door to Danielle’s at every dig she could remember while growing up. Her grandfather and his father labeled him a troublemaker from day one. So, when Danielle and Jareth fall in love and lose their virginity to each other, it takes no time at all for her grandfather to ship her off to Harvard.

 

Ten years later, she’s working as a curator at a museum and he’s a treasure hunter. When he shows up on her doorstep asking for help to find a lost artifact with supposed mystical powers, she can’t help but say yes. In no time at all, they’re on the run from mad men with guns and rekindling the romance that had never quite died. Will they be able to restore the lost treasure to the rightful owners, or will they destroy their chance at happiness or lose their lives in the attempt?

 

Charlotte Stein – Curveball

 

When Judy Myers is offered a relaxing vacation to get away from her latest heartbreak, she can’t say no. A cruise on her brother’s yacht sounds like heaven…until she realizes her brother’s best friend has been invited along for the ride.

 

Steven Stark is big, he’s loud, and he’s obviously not interested in the plump, plain little sister he used to tease unmercifully. In fact, he’s still quite happy to tease her – until she turns the tables on him. Now, Steven can’t seem to keep his thoughts, or his hands, to himself. And worse, Judy’s not sure she can resist the attraction she’s kept buried for so many years.

 

Being trapped on a boat isn’t the best place to be, when you’re suddenly thrown a hunky curveball.

 

Alison Tyler – The Spanking House

 

The Spanking House is a fantastical tale of a writer struggling against the beast known as “writer’s block.” Mia Rogers rents a cozy cottage in a small town in hopes of jumpstarting the novel she can’t seem to finish. When she meets Tripp Johnson, she becomes motivated in ways she previously hadn’t thought possible.

Merlin Club S05E07 “A Lesson In Vengeance” or “Doesn’t ‘lesson’ imply that you’ve learned something?”

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Merlin club is a weekly feature in which Jessica Jarman, Bronwyn Green, and myself gather at 8pm EST to watch an episode of the amazing BBC series Merlin, starring Colin Morgan and literally nobody else I care about except Colin Morgan.

Okay, I lie. A lot of other really cool people are in it, too.

Anyway, we watch the show, we tweet to the hashtag #MerlinClub, and on Fridays we share our thoughts about the episode we watched earlier in the week.

DON’T DO THIS EVER: “ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME THAT WASN’T EVEN THE GODDAMNED BOOK PEOPLE WERE TELLING ME ABOUT?” edition

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UPDATE #2: Stephanie Dray has issued a statement apologizing for her remarks.

There are some who aren’t comfortable with that apology, and that’s fine, I’m not throwing my hat into the ring or making a judgement on anyone either way. I’m just reporting what’s happened and everybody can go there own way from there.

UPDATE: I’ve been contacted by a few authors who know Laura Kaye and Stephanie Dray. They’ve cleared up some points about the situation.

  1. The book America’s First Daughter is not the 50 Shades of Grey/Thomas Jefferson story. That is a separate project that Stephanie was talking about
  2. Laura Kaye has denied any involvement with the 50 Shades of Grey/Thomas Jefferson story.

Thank you to the authors who could shed light on the confusion regarding America’s First Daughter.

A source close to Stephanie Dray has said that a statement from the author is forthcoming.

TRIGGER WARNING: WHITE PEOPLE JOKING ABOUT SLAVE RAPE

Don’t Do This Ever: “WHAT THE FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK?!” edition

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Remember how I was supposed to be taking the week off blogging? Sometimes, shit comes up that can’t wait. Like this shit. This steaming pile of shit.

Before we proceed, here’s what I’m going to ask you to do:

  • Do not buy this book
  • Don’t buy it for curiosity
  • Don’t buy it to see how bad it is
  • Don’t buy it because it’s just $0.99 and you “had to know”
  • Don’t leave a comment about how you bought it
  • Don’t leave a comment about how you read it
  • Don’t leave a comment about censorship
  • Don’t leave a comment about “slippery slopes”
  • Don’t leave a comment about the first amendment
  • Don’t lecture anyone in the comments about book burning, censorship, art, etc.
  • Don’t defend Thomas Jefferson
  • Don’t use Thomas Jefferson’s words to defend this fucking atrocity
  • PLEASE DO link in the comments any blog posts or articles written by women of color with regards to this book
  • PLEASE DO let me know if I wrote anything fucked up with regards to racism and slavery

If you do any of these things, I will have a fucking stroke, so help me god.

From this point on, TRIGGER WARNING FOR HORRIFIC AND OPPORTUNISTIC RACISM AND MANY, MANY REFERENCES TO RAPE. REALLY EVALUATE THE DAY YOU’RE HAVING AND THE DAY YOU WISH TO HAVE BEFORE YOU CONTINUE TO READ.

State of The Trout: “Poo Brain” edition

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So, do any of you guys watch Adventure Time? It’s an awesome show. In an early episode, the heroes, Finn and Jake, find their sleep disturbed when a horse won’t stop staring through their window at night. It can’t moved, reasoned with, or dissuaded. It just stands there, staring. Jake diagnoses the animal as having “poo brain.”

poo brain

 

I have come to adopt this phrase in place of “Fibro fog,” the common description of the mental sluggishness that is symptomatic of a Fibromyalgia flare-up. It’s a way better term for how I feel. I don’t feel “foggy,” I straight up feel like someone took a shit in my brain, and it’s good for nothing.

Luckily, my case of poo brain didn’t last longer than a week, but that week ate up a considerable chunk of writing time. I mostly tweeted and tumblred, because that was how long my attention span lasted. I couldn’t focus on anything.

So, now I am behind. Way behind. I had a manuscript I wanted to turn in to my publisher today; I still have a scene and a chapter to go. But because I’m off schedule with that, it means I’ve having to start work on my next project at the same time. Which means extra work, which means less time here for wacky blog shenanigans.

So, this is a State of The Trout update to let you know that I am not dead, I am still alive, I’m just overwhelmed with work I fell behind on when I got poo brain. After this week, I’ll hopefully be back to a normal schedule and I can get an Apolonia recap done and work on some Buffy.

I also want to publicly apologize to Nicholas at the Portage Crossings GameStop. I told him I would take his survey within the next three days, but I forgot. Sorry, Nicholas.