Pregnant women (and I am addressing pregnant women here specifically, because I assume transgender men have a different set of body image hurdles during pregnancy that I can’t possibly understand): I’m begging you to stop thinking of yourselves as fat.
I was watching The Mindy Project, and the most recent episode was Mindy lamenting the fact that she’s gaining weight during her pregnancy. A lot of the pregnancy related humor this season just doesn’t ring true to me. Mindy is an OB/GYN; and a lot of the clueless newly pregnant mother stuff seems like the exact kind of stuff she’d be familiar with. Danny’s an OB too, and he’s believing old wives’ tales? Then again, first time pregnancy makes you into a whole new, paranoid person, so maybe it’s more realistic than I’m giving it credit for.
I’ve been pregnant twice. The first time? Was at the height of extremely low-rise jeans. The kind you had to wax to wear. I spent that entire pregnancy watching Britney Spears’s oiled torso gyrating all over VH1. It was rough. And the whole time, I felt like crap, because I weighed two hundred pounds in the last week. It was the most I’d ever weighed in my entire life. And I felt fat.
Look, it’s not fun, especially when you gain the amount of weight I did (between seventy and seventy-five pounds; there was a lot of water weight fluctuation). Your ankles hurt. Your knees hurt. You pee a little when you stand up. You’ve got stretch marks, and you sweat like you’re running hurdles just to get up and go to the bathroom (for the thirtieth time that day). And it’s because you’ve gained weight. Even if it’s just fifteen pounds. Even if you’re carrying a cute little basketball under your shirt that makes every woman you encounter tell you how much she hates you. You feel fat.
But you’re not fat, okay? You’re pregnant. Yes, diet and fitness are still important during pregnancy. Yes, weight gain during pregnancy can be caused by a number of serious conditions. You’ve read the books. You know this. Worry about that all you want (because you won’t be able to keep yourself from worrying about it, anyway). But when you look at yourself in the mirror, don’t hate yourself because your belly sticks out, or you’re chinning for two. Your body is supposed to do that. It’s where the baby goes.
We judge ourselves so harshly that we shame ourselves for a natural function of our body. Why are we so hard on ourselves, especially at a time when we’re really emotionally vulnerable? It’s bullshit.
I wish I could go back in time and tell first-pregnancy me that I deserve better than to spend nine months hating my body even more than usual. Since I can’t (and since I’m never having another freeloading womb tenant), I’ll just tell it to you all. Some of you are bound to be pregnant. Everyone know this is the place for sexy people on the internet.
But do it, guys. Stop putting yourself down because you’re not one of the few pregnant women who don’t have to buy new clothes in their third trimester. You probably don’t expect that of other pregnant women, so why expect it of yourself?
So, that’s it. That’s the end of my plea. Try not to worry about how “fat” you are, and start worrying instead that you’re soon going to be responsible for the nurturing, caring, and training of a human being wholly separate from yourself.