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Month: March 2016

Troutcation Hiatus

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This week, and probably next week, I’ll be on hiatus. Why, you ask? Well, the good people at Apple Vacations wanted Mr. Jen and I to check out their service and the Secrets St. James resort in Montego Bay, Jamaica. We’ll spend three nights there and report back about Apple Vacations and Secrets St. James and various vacation-type whoo and rahs, in a series of compensated, but objective, posts.

In other words, this is quite a bit like that time I reviewed sunglasses for this blog because it meant I got to keep the sunglasses. And like the time I agreed to wear clothes and jewelry exclusively from ModCloth for the Steve Harvey Show and then I got to keep the entire wardrobe they sent me. I’ll take the free stuff, but I’ll always be honest with you about the product (in the case of the ModCloth thing, I told you the god’s honest truth by looking amazing in their clothes).

Since I have to get many ducks in several rows before I leave, both personally and professionally, and since I will probably be too sunburned to move by the time I get back, I’ll be taking a little break. Expect lots of pictures, and hopefully some great stories about snorkeling.

So, I will return, and when I do, we’ll all be ready for a new Apolonia recap, another chapter of my Patreon serial, and two #LegionXIII posts to make up for the ones I’ll miss.

Have a great couple of weeks, you wacky kids ‘ya.

 

#LegionXIII Rome watch-along, S02E01 “Passover”

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A picture of a big roman number XIII, in front of an ominous sky, in the middle of a road through a field. In the crotch of the X, I, dressed as a centurion, naturally, am slumped over, sleeping. Bronwyn Green, dressed in a stola, is looking nervously at a harp, and Jess is depicted as the woman with a bloody knife from the DVD cover of season 2.

Quick rundown of the episode: Because this show is incredible, season two starts directly where season one ended, with Caesar dead on the senate floor. Brutus is traumatized as fuck by the horrible thing he just did, but his horrible mother is like, that’s my boy. And speaking of dead on the floor, Vorenus is still cradling Niobe’s dead body. His kids and sister-in-law come home and find him violently shaking his “grandson”, and he realizes that his entire family has been in on the lie. He beats Vorena the Elder, curses her, and spits on her, then throws a curse on everyone just to be thorough. Then he staggers into the street, where some old guy headbutts him into unconsciousness. Meanwhile, Mark Antony has to run from murderers, and Posca has to try and get Caesar’s body through Rome for a proper burial or whatever.

Timon goes to Atia with a bunch of men to try and protect the house, and she’s super happy to see him. He’s feeling pretty heroic, until Mark Antony shows up in a full-on fury, and Atia is all, thank god you’re okay. Sorry, Timon, it ain’t never gonna happen. Antony wants Atia and Octavia and Octavian and Calpurnia to leave the city, but Calpurnia isn’t fucking budging. She wants the will read and all the funeral stuff wrapped the fuck up. But when they find out that Caesar has named Octavian his heir, shit gets complicated. The city isn’t celebrating the death of the tyrant, Mark Antony points out to Servilia and her little band of murder plotters. Octavian has figured out a really bad loophole in the “murder Caesar” plan, which means he gets to keep all the money Caesar left him. If Caesar was a tyrant, all his senate appointments are void, because they were unlawful acts of tyranny. So they’ll have to have general elections. Since the conspirators have a lot to lose if that happens, they’re forced to step back the whole tyrant thing and enter into a truce with Antony, who then uses Caesar’s funeral to whip up a lot of pro-Caesar sentiment.

Pullo and Eirene get dirt married, even though he murdered her boyfriend. Their honeymoon is cut short when they find out that Caesar is dead, and then things get real unromantic when they return to the Aventine to find that Niobe is dead and Vorenus’s kids are missing. Erastes Fulman took them. Vorenus and Pullo kill all of Fulman’s men and hold Fulman hostage long enough to learn that he raped the children, murdered them, and threw them in the river. Vorenus decapitates him and carries his severed head like a bowling bag through the Aventine.

My favorite part of the episode: When Calpurnia spit in Servilia’s face, and then spit in her face again. Oh, also, when Brutus says to Servilia, “You too, mother?” What a fucking amazing choice that line was.

My least favorite part of the episode: I really didn’t enjoy the fact that, after Antony has raped a slave, they depict her as looking all sexy and satisfied.

Favorite costume: Atia’s funeral outfit, because she looks like an Aerosmith video girl in 1997. 

Atia has her hair down and center parted and curly, and she's wearing a black sheath dress and ribbon choker with a big round pendant.

Team Atia or Team Servilia: Team Atia. She’s the mother of the richest man in Rome.

Favorite watch-a-long tweet: 


What hairdo or costume would Bronwyn steal? Bronwyn has massive hair envy, so I know Atia’s long in-mourning hair had her gnashing her teeth with jealousy.

Atia's hair is loose and down and curly, like some kind of ancient goddess.

Guess Jess’s head canon. Oh man, I know for a fact she’s a sucker for strong, wounded male characters being healed emotionally and physically by another strong male character, so the Vorenus/Pullo arc is really hitting every branch on the slash tree for her at this point.

Now go check out Bronwyn’s and Jess’s posts, and join us Monday at 9 PM EST for season two, episode one, “Passover”. Tweet to #LegionXIII to join us!

The Big Damn Buffy Rewatch S03E03, “Faith, Hope, and Trick”

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In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone puts her dry cleaning in the laundry by accident way too often. She will also recap every episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer with an eye to the following themes:

  1. Sex is the real villain of the Buffy The Vampire Slayer universe.
  2. Giles is totally in love with Buffy.
  3. Joyce is a fucking terrible parent.
  4. Willow’s magic is utterly useless (this one won’t be an issue until season 2, when she gets a chance to become a witch)
  5. Xander is a textbook Nice Guy.
  6. The show isn’t as feminist as people claim.
  7. All the monsters look like wieners.
  8. If ambivalence to possible danger were an Olympic sport, Team Sunnydale would take the gold.
  9. Angel is a dick.
  10. Harmony is the strongest female character on the show.
  11. Team sports are portrayed in an extremely negative light.
  12. Some of this shit is racist as fuck.
  13. Science and technology are not to be trusted.
  14. Mental illness is stigmatized.
  15. Only Willow can use a computer.
  16. Buffy’s strength is flexible at the plot’s convenience.
  17. Cheap laughs and desperate grabs at plot plausibility are made through Xenophobia.
  18. Oz is the Anti-Xander
  19. Spike is capable of love despite his lack of soul
  20. Don’t freaking tell me the vampires don’t need to breathe because they’re constantly out of frickin’ breath.
  21. The foreshadowing on this show is freaking amazing.
  22. Smoking is evil.
  23. Despite praise for its positive portrayal of non-straight sexualities, some of this shit is homophobic as fuck.
  24. How do these kids know all these outdated references, anyway?
  25. Technology is used inconsistently as per its convenience in the script.
  26. Sunnydale residents are no longer shocked by supernatural attacks.
  27. Casual rape dismissal/victim blaming a-go-go
  28. Snyder believes Buffy is a demon or other evil entity.
  29. The Scoobies kind of help turn Jonathan into a bad guy.
  30. This show caters to the straight female gaze like whoa.
  31. Sunnydale General is the worst hospital in the world.
  32. Faith is hyper-sexualized needlessly.

Have I missed any that were added in past recaps? Let me know in the comments.  Even though I might forget that you mentioned it.

WARNING: Some people have mentioned they’re watching along with me, and that’s awesome, but I’ve seen the entire series already and I’ll probably mention things that happen in later seasons. So… you know, take that under consideration, if you’re a person who can’t enjoy something if you know future details about it. 

State Of The Trout: Reading Challenge Accountability, Audiobook News, and more Afflicted

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Hey there everybody! I have some news, but first I want to let you in on how my PopSugar reading challenge is going!

So far, I’ve completed the following items on my list:

A book written by a celebrity: Why Not Me?, Mindy Kaling. Whoo boy. This book was something else for me. While Kaling writes a lot about struggles I’m never going to have to deal with (striving to succeed as a dark-skinned Indian woman in a world where so many doors are closed to anyone who isn’t white), I empathized a lot with her fears about success being snatched away, professional envy, and the overall feeling of the title–why not me? This book came at a time that was so awesome. I was down in the dumps after hearing about yet another incredibly bad book becoming a blockbuster, and hearing someone as successful as Mindy having similar doubts and fears as me (despite our personalities being so vastly different), sprinkled in with hilarious anecdotes about what it’s like to work in Hollywood (my favorite? A cringe-inducing story in which she spouts off about anti-vaxxers in a room full of them and tries, unsuccessfully, to dig her way out of a hole that only becomes deeper), really lifted me out of a bad depressive episode.

A book with a blue cover: Truthwitch, Susan Dennard. I saw a lot of bloggers fighting over ARCs of this book, and in my experience, books with that amount of prolonged hype don’t live up to expectations. But I decided I would read it because it sounded like an interesting premise, the author is from Michigan, and I met her on a plane and she seemed pretty cool. It not only lived up to, but exceeded the hype. It’s a YA traditional high fantasy in the vein of A Song of Ice and Fire. Set in a world on the brink of war as the terms of a peace treaty are set to run out, politics and magic mingle freely. The main characters, Safi and Iseult, are “theadsisters” of vastly different backgrounds (one is a poor girl from a racial group closely resembling the Roma, the other a noble woman used as a pawn in her uncle’s political machinations). Their only ambition is to be able to live their lives together, while outside forces pull them apart. The system of magic in the world building is awesome, and the storytelling is as cinematic as George R.R. Martin’s. I recommend this book so hard, I have to restrain myself here from blurting out the whole story like a second grader giving a book report. “And then…and then…and then…” Seriously, it’s that good.

A book about a culture you’re unfamiliar with: Craving Flight, Tamsen Parker.  I picked this book because it’s a BDSM erotic romance about an Orthodox Jewish couple. How do you not pick up that book, right? I know basically nothing about Judaism, other than the dietary restrictions, so it was interesting to see how a convert struggled to fall in line with expectations and custom as opposed to how members of the community from birth viewed their way of life. At the same time, I felt like the book was too short to include all of that and present a believable romance. I would have loved to get the hero’s side of the story; he’s a widower who, despite his family’s objections, marries a woman his family doesn’t approve of. He also just happens to be a Dom, and it’s clear that this was a role he had with his late wife. But very little of that is explored, and that’s a fascinating idea to me. How does this man, whose late wife was his last sub, feel about moving on to a similar sexual relationship with a stranger only three years after her death? Plus, I thought the romantic resolution was rushed, and the lack of safe words or discussion of safety of any kind in the bondage scenes bothered me. That aside, this was a good read. Just not the OMGYOUHAVETOREADTHISRIGHTNOWITSTHEMOSTAMAZINGBOOKEVER book I was promised when people recommended it to me. Still, I liked it enough that I wish it would have been longer.

That’s it for my reading challenge news for now, so on to the rest!

Are you in the mood for something to watch? Cinema Tyrant has come up with a list of the ten best French movies available from Netflix.

Audiobook news! My recent re-release, Bride Of The Wolf, will be getting an audio version. More information to come on that one. It will be produced and narrated by two-time Earphone Award winner and 2013 Audie nominee, Tanya Eby, who has narrated books by Lisa Kleypas, Susan Mallery, Debbie Macomber, and Nora Roberts. So I know this book is in good hands.

New installment of The AfflictedAnother chapter of my historical horror serial is up at Wattpad. You can read it here.