Is there really a way to have a “best of” with regards to 2016? I don’t want to disparage the year too much; I think I doomed us when I did that to 2015. But here are what I believe to be the highlights of this blog (from my perspective) in 2016, though even some of the highlights are dubious. And stay tuned until the end, where I will reveal the single best and worst things that happened to me in 2016.
January
- I pissed off second amendment stans. It went just about as well as one would expect.
- I “attacked” another author for the paltry sin of victim blaming a child and defending a pedophile. Again, went just about as well as one would expect.
February
- A gunman tried to take away the spirit of Kalamazoo, but he just made it stronger.
- We shared a very special Valentine’s day with Christian Grey and Anastasia Rose Grey Steele.
March
- I went on a Jamaican Troutcation, courtesy of Apple Vacations!
- The weed was excellent!
- Unexpected things happened! Like turtle sex!
- And you all got some travel tips out of the deal!
- Unfortunately, author egos also reigned during March. Nobody likes self-publishing. Boo.
April
Like, nothing exciting happened in April.
May
- I published Second Chance, Ian and Penny’s second set of books!
- I shared what my fibromyalgia flares feel like.
- A cover model decided to throw his entire career into a wood chipper and disable the safety switch.
- And I had my 20th Who-nniversary
June
- A plagiarist tried to cover her own tracks and return to the market.
- Diana Gabaldon continued to deride the very genre readers that made her a star.
- I had a four-hour torture session with the IRS.
- Our read-along of Apolonia came to a merciful end!
- We got high and watched The Craft
July
August
- I slapped Mr. Jen in the dick so hard it created a nuclear catastrophe. It was very romantic.
- We got high and watched Labyrinth.
- My daughter made the most epic cake the world has ever known.
- I released The Stranger, the very first encounter between Neil and Sophie.
September
October
- I started with the man in the mirror and changed my ways. Though I used a different song to express this concept.
- I went on a walk through a magical mushroom forest.
November
- Fuck November.
- Get your hope from women.
- My son didn’t give a shit about the Cubs winning the world series.
- I used my own books as an example of how racist crap gets published.
- Mr. Jen admitted to some crappy behavior.
December
The worst thing that happened in 2016:
And no list of the highlights (and lowlights) of 2016 would be complete without
THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN 2016:
So, that’s Trout Nation’s 2016 in a nutshell. Let’s hope 2017 is less “interesting” and comes with more happiness and cheer, so our 2017 round up is better and less bleak! Onward and upward (or, as my landlord often says, “good enough”)!