FADE IN
INTERIOR – BEDROOM – NIGHT. JENNY has just watched footage of Chris Evans helping Regina King balance so she wouldn’t trip on her dress while accepting her Oscar.
JENNY
Would you have sex with Chris Evans?
Mr. Jen shakes his head and doesn’t look up from his phone.
JENNY
But why not?
MR. JEN
Because I don’t like men. I don’t think of men sexually.
JENNY
Okay, but. How?
MR. JEN
What do you mean how?
JENNY
How do you not like dudes?
MR. JEN
They just do nothing for me.
JENNY
What if you had to?
MR. JEN
Why would I have to?
JENNY
The world will end! You would have sex with Chris Evans to stop the world from ending.
MR.JEN
Why is the world ending?
JENNY
Why don’t you find Chris Evans hot?
MR. JEN
Because I’m straight!
JENNY
How? I can’t get my melon around this! How does that even work?
MR.JEN
It’s just how it is. Imagine someone you would never have sex with.
JENNY
Okay.
MR.JEN
That’s what it’s like.
JENNY
So for you…having sex with Chris Evans would be like me having sex with Rush Limbaugh?
MR. JEN
Don’t be disgusting. Chris Evans is not Rush Limbaugh.
JENNY
So, you would have sex with Chris Evans.
Mr. Jen sighs deeply. A long silence follows.
JENNY
Let’s say you got a cold or something. The gay cold. That made you gay.
MR. JEN
A gay cold.
JENNY
Yeah. You got a cold and now you’re gay. Who are your top five?
MR. JEN
It’s five now?
JENNY
No, just who would be in your top five. Look, we can make this the bi flu. I’ll meet you halfway here.
MR. JEN
I thought bi doesn’t mean halfway.
JENNY
Work with me! So, you have the bi flu–
MR. JEN
I would still have sex with the girls!
JENNY
But why
MR. JEN
Imagine having sex with one of your friends.
Jenny visibly tries to imagine such a scenario.
JENNY
Oh. Ew.
MR. JEN
That’s what it’s like to not be sexually attracted to someone. I just am not interested in sex with guys.
JENNY
Okay…but not even Chris Evans?
FADE OUT.
THE END