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50 Shades of Grey Chapter 17 recap, or “Night Of The Moth”

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Aaaand we’re back. I don’t think I have any 50 Shades links or anything to share this time around (and if I do, I’m sure they’ll keep), so let’s get right into the recap, because I have a date with a 40 vol. bleaching kit I’d like to keep.

Ana has a dream that she’s a moth and she’s burning to death, and when she wakes up, it’s all been a metaphor for the fact that Christian Grey is one of those close sleeper guys:

I open my eyes, and I’m draped in Christian Grey. He’s wrapped around me like a victory flag. He’s fast asleep with his head on my chest, his arm over me, holding me close, one of his legs thrown over and hooked around both of mine. He’s suffocating me with his body heat, and he’s heavy.

I used to get drunk and pass out next to a friend of mine, and I would always wake up like this, in the iron grip of dude with a mountain of abandonment issues. Ana has to “process” Christian still being there, and she decides she’s going to use the opportunity to touch him. She barely puts her fingers on him, and he wakes up immediately. So, don’t try to steal Christan Grey’s wallet while he’s sleeping, okay?

Christian frowns when he finds himself all twined around her, and says, “‘Jesus, even in my sleep I’m drawn to you.'” I would argue that it’s the only time he appears to be drawn to her, because we’ve heard all about his cool, impersonal distance for the entire book so far. But whatever. He has morning wood, and Ana, who has been sleeping with him, who has discussed what anal activities she’s up for, is all wide-eyed and embarrassed by his erection.

I flush, but then I feel seven shades of scarlet from his heat.

Seven shades of scarlet, fifty shades of grey, are we sure Ana wasn’t an art major instead of an English major? Christian realizes that he’s overslept for the meeting he needs to be at in Portland. He blames Ana, of course, but he grins when he does it, so it’s a joke, I guess? He gets out of bed and puts on his jacket to leave. So, you’re gonna just roll into that meeting in sweaty, slept-in clothes, is that how you’re gonna play it? Okay, you’re the billionaire. He reminds her that she’s not allowed to drive her car, and that he expects her at his house on Sunday. He’s going to email her a time, because Ana is the only twenty-one year old who doesn’t text. Ana is all smug because Christian stayed over:

Oh my, Christian Grey spent the night with me, and I feel rested. And there was no sex, only cuddling. He told me he never slept with anyone – but he’s slept three times with me.

Pardon me if I don’t immediately laud him for his commitment to you, Ana. The first time, you were drunk and unconscious, so he shouldn’t have been in a bed with you in the first place. The second time, you’d just lost your virginity to him, so the least he could have done on the post-sex politeness scale was let you stay over. This time you were sobbing uncontrollably before he even considered staying. Of course, Ana is feeling a lot better now, so she decides to write Christian an email. Remember, in the last chapter he asked her to talk about their relationship via email, because she expresses herself better there.

You wanted to know why I felt confused after you – which euphemism should we apply – spanked, punished, beat, assaulted me. Well during the whole alarming process I felt demeaned, debased and abused. And much to my mortification, you’re right, I was aroused, and that was unexpected. As you are well aware, all things sexual are new to me – I only wish I was more experienced and therefore more prepared. I was shocked to feel aroused.

Please note, she’s still using some pretty loaded language to describe the spanking. Beat. Assaulted. And she felt some pretty negative emotions. Now, some people really like feeling those emotions during sex. But consensual BDSM should fulfill the needs of both partners.

I was happy that you were happy. I felt relieved that it wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be. And when I was lying in your arms, I felt sated. But I feel very uncomfortable, guilty even, feeling that way.

That sounds fulfilling, doesn’t it? Oh, shit, no it doesn’t. Being happy that someone else is happy because you did something you found unpleasant isn’t the same thing as taking genuine happiness away from the experience. Discomfort and guilt aren’t hallmarks of fulfillment.

Despite the fact that he’s supposed to be running late for a meeting, Christian responds, telling Ana that it wasn’t assault, it was spanking.

So you felt demeaned, abused & assaulted – how very Tess Durbeyfield of you. I believe it was you who decided on the debasement if I remember correctly. Do you really feel like this or do you think you ought to feel like this? Two very different things. If that is how you feel, do you think you could just try and embrace these feelings, deal with them, for me? That’s what a submissive would do.

In other words, “I didn’t make you feel bad, you made yourself feel bad. It’s your fault, and you’d better fix it to make me happy. The other women would.”

I am grateful for your inexperience. I value it, and I’m only beginning to understand what it means. Simply put… it means that you are mine in every way. 

Of course, Ana realizes how creepy this sentiment is and immediately fires off an email telling him that she doesn’t belong to anyone. Ha, just kidding. His email goes on to explain that he’s not just happy, he’s “ecstatic” and that the spanking he gave her was “about as hard as it gets” because it was meant as a punishment. He doesn’t want her to “waste your energy on guilt, feelings of wrongdoing etc.” Of course he doesn’t. If she did, she might realize that he’s the one who should feel guilty, because while he states that they’re consenting adults, he obtained her “consent” through dubious means. If she examined their relationship, even a little bit, she might realize this. She emails back that she will try to embrace her feelings of shame, and says that if she wanted out, she’d have run to Alaska by now. Then he emails her back, lines upon lines of totally not creepy stuff:

For the record – you stood beside me knowing what I was going to do.
You didn’t at any time ask me to stop – you didn’t use either safe word.
You are an adult – you have choices.
Quite frankly, I’m looking forward to the next time my palm is ringing with pain.
You’re obviously not listening to the right part of your body.
Alaska is very cold and no place to run. I would find you.
I can track your cell phone – remember.

Remember that Enrique Iglesias song, “Escape”? Where he was like, “You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my incredibly shrill falsetto?” I’m pretty sure that’s how the lyrics went. Anyway, there was a part of that song, near the end, where instead of saying, “You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love,” I’m pretty sure he’s saying, “You can run, you can die, but you can’t escape my love.” Which makes me think he’s going to find this now-deceased woman and fuck her corpse. I don’t know what it is about that email from Christian that reminded me of that. No clue. None at all.

Clown puncher. Corpse fucker. A man of many talents.

Ana realizes that of course, Christian is right about everything. She wonders if he’ll follow her to her mother’s house in Georgia if she decides to take her up on her offer of escape. Instead of asking him, though, she exchanges a few more flirty emails with him before driving off in her new Audi.

The Audi is a joy to drive. It has power steering. Wanda, my Beetle, has no power in it at all – anywhere, so my daily workout, which was driving my Beetle, will cease.

Time for a patented Jen Car Nitpick. Vintage Beetles didn’t have power steering, it’s true, but they didn’t need power steering. Beetles were purposely made light weight. Plus, vintage Beetles were rear-engine cars, meaning the bulk of the weight was in the back, so when you turn the wheel, you’re not trying to fight with your unwieldy, laden down front-end. Sure, steering is going to be more challenging at low speeds, but it’s not like, say, driving a much heavier modern front engine car with broken power steering. It’s not going to be a “work out”.

At this point, even Rutledge is calling me pedantic.

 Ana thinks some more about their morning emails, and how of course it’s her choice whether or not to be with him. She’s not sure she can just lie back and accept her feelings. She doesn’t want BDSM, but she does want Christian.

It’s Ana’s last day at the hardware store, and at lunch time, a courier on a motorcycle shows up with yet another gift from Christian. Think about the last time you got a surprise gift from a loved one, and how you felt. Now compare that with Ana’s reaction:

My heart sinks. What has Christian sent me now? I sign for the small package and open it straight away. It’s a BlackBerry. My heart sinks further. I switch it on.

Isn’t it weird how you put a piece of technology in your book, and then in a while it’s outdated? I do that shit all the time, and it always bites me in the ass. I’ve got characters in Blood Ties who are running around with shitty little flip phones. In two years, mark me, someone is going to read this book and go, “What, he didn’t just send her an implantable mind-link device? Hah, this book is so OLD.”

Christian has already emailed her to explain the present:

I need to be able to contact you at all times, and since this is your most honest form of communication, I figured you needed a BlackBerry.

Hey Ana, do you ever notice that any gift Christian gives you fulfills a need for him? Anyway, Ana is pissed off by the gift, so they email each other about it. I’ve bitched all along about how Ana is unbelievable as a college student because she doesn’t have a computer or an email address, but she picks up that BlackBerry straight out of the box and starts emailing. That’s vivid realism there, because you have to be under twenty-five to understand smart phones.

At four, Mr. and Mrs. Clayton gather all the other employees int he shop, and during a hair-curlingly embarrassing speech, present me with a check for three hundred dollars.
In that moment, three weeks of – exams, graduation, intense, fucked up billionares, deflowering, hard & soft limits, playrooms with no consoles, helicopter rides – and the fact that I will move tomorrow, all well up inside me. Amazingly, I hold myself together. My subconscious is in awe. I hug the Claytons hard. They have been kind and generous employers, and I will miss them.

Ignoring the insanely fucked-up grammar in that passage (is that an ampersand?!), check out the very telling dichotomy drawn by her acceptance of the money from the Claytons and her reaction to the BlackBerry. She can accept the gift from her employers because they have been kind and generous without asking anything else of her. She knows that their check comes without strings, because that is the kind of people they are. The BlackBerry isn’t a selfless gift. It was given to her expressly to facilitate communication at all times with Christian. But of course, that isn’t covered in the text.

Ana gets home in her new car (given to Ana to assuage Christian’s worry), just in time for Kate to see her driving it. Kate is still not convinced by Christian’s “Mr. Wonderful” act, but she suggests they finish packing. She must have given up trying to save Ana. Of course, before Ana can do anything, she has to check her email, and of course, Christian has emailed her. He tells her to be at his place at one on Sunday, and the doctor will see her at one-thirty. At this point, I was just praying we wouldn’t have to go through her entire gynecological visit, with Christian looming over the doctor’s shoulder, scowling possessively the whole time. Ana doesn’t email him back, and goes instead to pack. Taylor the bodyguard shows up for her Beetle, which has nothing but a flashlight in it. I call bullshit. How long has she had this car, and there’s no other personal items in it? No books, no sweatshirts, shoes, sunglasses, coffee cups, just a flashlight? I can’t buy it.

Taylor tells Ana that Christian is a “good man,” but Ana isn’t sure she can believe him. Which bodes well for this relationship, right? If you can’t tell if the person you’re dating is a good person or not? After they’re finished packing, Jose shows up with take out, and alcohol. Because Ana can’t go a day without biting her lip or pounding back booze.

The atmosphere between Jose and I has returned to normal, the attempted kiss forgotten. Well, it’s been swept under the rug that my inner goddess is lying on, eating grapes and tapping her fingers, waiting not so patiently for Sunday. There’s a knock at the door, and my heart leaps into my throat. Is it?

Is it what? Is it Sunday? I don’t live on the west coast, so I don’t know how time announces itself there. Here, it just barges right in. As for this thing with Jose, really? He acted pretty rapetacular toward you, and you’ve just forgotten it because your inner goddess is horny. Okay, fine. Whatever. I give up at this point.

Kate answers the door and is nearly knocked off her feet by Elliot. He seizes her in a Hollywood-style clinch that moves quickly into a European art house embrace. Honestly… get a room. Jose and I stare at each other. I’m appalled at their lack of modesty.

 Says the kettle whose boyfriend strolled half-naked into the kitchen to get refreshments while she was tied up, naked, in bed. I would like Ana a whole lot more if sex wasn’t this thing that was only okay for her to do with her one true cock. The amount of slut-shaming in this book is amazing. “Oh, yeah, my boyfriend totally ties me up and seriously asked if he could jam his fist up my asshole, but ew, gross, are you for real making out right in front of me? Unacceptable. Only whoores do that.”

Because they are just so disgusted by the sight of two adults kissing, Jose and Ana are going to go to the bar. That’s a good idea, because nothing weird happened between them down there last time.

As we stroll down to the bar, I put my arm through Jose’s. God, he’s so uncomplicated – I hadn’t really appreciated that before.

Oh yeah, he’s uncomplicated NOW, but when he starts turning into a werewolf, that’s when things get complicated.

 COME TO MY ART SHOW, ANA!

When Ana gets home, Kate and Elliot are doing either the Humpty Dance or the Wild Thing, depending on which retro rap act you like best. Ana thinks about how they’re way loud, and she knows she and Christian aren’t that loud. This is the cornerstone of all bad roommate sex behavior. No one ever thinks they’re that loud. At least all Kate has to deal with are Ana’s abusive relationship crying jags. That’s way better, right?

After a brief, not-at-all-awkward-thank-goodness hug, Jose has gone. I don’t know when I’ll see him again, probably at his photographic show, and once again, I’m blown away that he finally has an exhibition. I shall miss him and his boy-ish charm. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him about the Beetle, I know he’ll freak when he finds out, and I can only deal with one man at a time freaking out at me.

Ana is in luck, because a man does freak out at her. Christian, via email, writes:

Are you still at work or have you packed your phone, BlackBerry and MacBook?
Call me, or I may be forced to call Elliot.

And Elliot will answer like Brad Pitt in Fight Club, with one elbow length yellow rubber glove on. Which, unfortunately, I could not find a picture of. But you know what scene I’m talking about.

 Crap… Jose… shit.
I grab my phone. Five missed calls and one voice message. Tentatively, I listen to the message. It’s Christian.
‘I think you need to learn to manage my expectations. I am not a patient man. If you say you are going to contact me when you finish work, then you should have the decency to do so. Otherwise, I worry, and it’s not an emotion I’m familiar with, and I don’t tolerate it very well. Call me.’
Double crap. Will he ever give me a break? I scowl at the phone. He is suffocating me. With a deep dread uncurling in my stomach, I scroll down to his number and press dial. My heart is in my mouth as I wait for him to answer. He’d probably like to beat seven shades of shit out of me.

I love it when the picture does literally all the work.

So, Ana is now afraid to listen to his voicemails, as well as afraid to call him. That’s another sign of a healthy relationship, right? And look a how he blames her for his own emotions. He’s an adult man, he is perfectly capable of reasoning, “Okay, I know she has to move tomorrow morning, and today was her last day of work. She probably went to bed early, I’ll talk to her tomorrow.” But that would be way too easy. Instead, he guilts Ana into calling him. He’s not going to punish her, though, he was actually just worried, and the conversation is weirdly normal, except for the part where he makes her call him “sir”.
We transition past the move (thank GOD. I was so afraid I was going to have to read about them moving boxes and furniture for an entire chapter, because the very foundation of this book appears to be lingering over inconsequential and boring details), to when Elliot has hung up their television in their new house. Hey, Elliot is good at mounting two things! Ana gets annoyed at the way Kate and Elliot have a totally normal relationship. No, I’m not making this up:

“I’d love to stay, baby, but my sister is back from Paris. It’s a compulsory family dinner tonight.”
“Can you come by after?” Kate asks tentatively, all soft and un-Katelike.
I stand and make my way over to the kitchen area on the pretense o unpacking one of the crates. They are going to get icky.

 God, why can’t they just discuss anal fisting and sign contracts like normal couples?

Elliot is adorable and so different from Christian. He’s warm, open, physical, very physical, too physical, with Kate. They can barely keep their hands off each other – to be honest it’s embarrassing – and I am pea-green with envy.

At least Ana is self-aware enough to acknowledge the fact that she’s jealous of the normalcy of Kate and Elliot’s relationship. Although I find it laughable that Elliot is “too physical” with Kate, while Christian has a room devoted to the many ways he likes to beat women.

Kate brings back pizza (what, no vino?) and they enjoy their super expensive apartment that looks out on Pike Place Market. Then the door buzzes, and it’s a delivery boy with a bottle of champagne (there it is!) and a balloon shaped like a helicopter.

“Christian flew me to Seattle in his helicopter.” I shrug.
Kate stares at me open mouthed. I have to say – I love these occasions – Katherine Kavanagh, silent and floored, they are so rare. I take a brief and luxurious moment to enjoy it.
“Yep, he has a helicopter, which he flew himself,” I state proudly.

“My boyfriend has a helicopter and yours doesn’t. Neener neener!” Notice how Christian can’t just send her the champagne, he has to make it about him, somehow? “Hey, I got you this moving in present. Remember how I have a helicopter? I have a helicopter.” He’s like a hyperactive four-year-old shouting, “Look what I can do!” over and over. Kate expresses concern over the delivery, because Ana didn’t give Christian their new address. Christian emails Ana with the codes to get into his building, and the next day she’s headed over there. She wears the plum-colored dress, make up and heels, because dressing down for your first gynecological appointment is so gauche.

Christian is seated on his living room couch reading the Sunday papers. He glances up as Taylor directs me into the living area. The room is exactly as I remember it – it’s been a whole week since I’ve been here – but it feels so much longer. Christian looks cool and calm – actually, he looks heavenly. He’s in a loose white linen shirt and jeans, no shoes or socks. His hair is tousled and unkempt, and his gray eyes twinkle wickedly at me. He is jaw-droppingly handsome.

I imagine that Ana looks like this every time she sees Christian:

Except not blonde, obviously. 

 Just an FYI for those reading along at home, I’ve stopped commenting on the number of times Ana flushes in this chapter, because it’s really a lot. An intrusive amount, most readers would agree. There is a picture of the two of them in the newspaper, taken at Ana’s graduation. She’s basically like, “that’s nice, let’s fuck,” but Christian reminds her that the good doctor will be there to get her all chemically neutered in just a little bit. Ana has forgotten about the doctor visit, but Christian has this shit all handled. He’s even gotten a real OB/GYN and everything.

Christian frowns suddenly as if recalling something unpleasant.
“Anastasia, my mother would like you to come to dinner this evening. I believe Elliot is asking Kate too. I don’t know how you feel about that. It will be odd for me to introduce you to my family.”

Odd? Why?

Because you’re so clumsy, you might wound yourself and then one of his siblings will try to eat you? That’s just off the top of my head. They get into a little tiff, and I’m not sure whose side I’m on. Ana has been crushingly embarrassed of Christian every single time he’s been introduced to one of her friends or family members, but she can’t understand why it would be weird for Christian to be in the same situation? And Christian’s mom walked in on them in bed together. You know, I met my mother-in-law in the exact same way, and the second meeting is crazy uncomfortable. I get why Christian doesn’t want to live through that. However, he’s perfectly fine insinuating himself into every facet of Ana’s life, so tit-for-tat, Christian.

The doctor arrives, after what is arguably the shortest half-hour ever written about in the history of books.

“You’re not going to come as well are you?” I gasp, shocked.
He laughs.
“I’d pay very good money to watch, believe me, Anastasia, but I don’t think the good doctor would approve.”

Um, ew? I’m suddenly not believing his “hard limit” about not being into gynecological instruments.

I take his hand, and he pulls me up into his arms and kisses me deeply. I clutch on to his arms, taken by surprise. His hand is in my hair holding my head, and he pulls me against him, his forehead against mine. 

Oh, come on. She’s getting a pap smear, not getting into the last lifeboat off the Titanic. And Ana thinks Kate and Elliot are too mushy?

Christian tells Ana that he can’t wait to get her naked (wait your turn!) and the chapter ends without advancing the plot at all.

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Here for the first time because you’re in quarantine and someone on Reddit recommended my Fifty Shades of Grey recaps? Welcome! Consider checking out my own take on the Billionaire BDSM genre, The Boss. Find it on AmazonB&NSmashwords, iBooks, and Radish!

31 Comments

  1. Advancing the plot?? You mean there is one?

    March 21, 2013
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  2. The poop chart is comedy gold. You, ma'am, win the internets.

    April 23, 2013
    |Reply
  3. ColeYote
    ColeYote

    “Wanda, my Beetle”
    Oh. That’s who Wanda was a few chapters ago.

    Who the hell names their car?!

    October 24, 2013
    |Reply
    • r_kaji
      r_kaji

      “‘Your car, your,’ –he does a Hollywood SS officer accent– ‘Volkswagen. What’s its name?’
      ‘How do you know my Beetle has a name?’
      ‘All Beetle owners give their cars names. But please don’t tell me it’s John, Paul, George, or Ringo.’
      ‘You’ll laugh.’
      ‘I won’t.’
      ‘It’s Garcia.'”

      -David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas

      November 25, 2013
      |Reply
    • A lot of people name their cars. The joke here is that Ana just started referring to “Wanda” without context and it sounds fucking weird. If she had said something like “My old Volkswagen, which I had affectionately named Wanda” then it would have been fine but she didn’t so the reader is like: “The fuck is a Wanda?”

      December 1, 2013
      |Reply
      • Anon
        Anon

        Okay, I’m a couple years late, but it just clicked for me when I read your comment with “The fuck is a Wanda?”

        Follow me on this. E. L. James wrote 50 Shades originally as fanfic of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series, right? Well guess what else Stephanie Meyer wrote – The Host. Which has a main character named Wanda.

        Coincidence? Hmmmmm…..

        August 13, 2015
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    • Khan
      Khan

      I do.
      Deal with it.

      July 6, 2015
      |Reply
    • Casey
      Casey

      3 years late, but my Honda Civic is named Wally. He’s a very good boy.

      November 14, 2016
      |Reply
      • Al
        Al

        Awww. He sounds very good.

        September 18, 2022
        |Reply
  4. ColeYote
    ColeYote

    Christ, Ana should really see a doctor about all that blushing she does.

    She should also really needs to check some definitions. STOP SAYING FLUSHING, EL JAMES! FLUSHING AND BLUSHING ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS AND YOU OBVIOUSLY MEAN BLUSHING!

    Sorry, that just started to irritate me around chapter 3.

    October 24, 2013
    |Reply
    • Casey
      Casey

      Wait, I’ve been using them interchangeably forever (I also way overuse the “heroine blushes a lot” trope. I know, I’m working on it). What’s the difference?

      November 14, 2016
      |Reply
  5. christina
    christina

    I just wanted to say I love you! in non creepy way i assure you! I stumbled across your site when i googled hate 50 shades of grey. I swear to god i have not laughed sooo much you have a true flair for writing in comedic tones. Read the books and have same grotesque feelings as you have, only u articulate them better. i literally snorted 6 times times while reading this recap alone – while drinking coke…. anyway im onto next recap
    from ireland

    November 19, 2013
    |Reply
  6. I also want to talk about the virgin fetish that is present in Fifty Shades a little bit.
    The first BDSM novel I ever read was “The Virgin” by Alison Tyler and it was an amazing piece of erotica. The title referred to both the female protagonist’s innocence and introduction into BDSM (and lesbianism) and the painting by Klimt of the same name.
    HOWEVER, in this book the main character is already fantasizing about being in a D/s relationship long before she ever enters one. She may be new on the scene, but she is not a literal virgin nor is she uninformed the way Ana is in Fifty Shades. This makes a world of fucking difference in the way the book reads, as an erotica about trying new things and falling in love versus this trash.

    December 1, 2013
    |Reply
    • Robin
      Robin

      Thank you! One of the biggest things that makes this so squicky for me is that Ana is a literal virgin, and presented as one of the most “innocent” virgins at that. I mean, it’s one thing to be a virgin because you simply haven’t had the opportunity, but she’s presented as a girl (and I use girl instead of woman deliberately) who wants to be in love before she has sex and who believes that life is a fairy tale romance. It’s rather horrifying that grown women who have, I assume, been in adult relationships have found this tripe somehow a romantic fantasy ideal. I can understand the Twilight phenomenon – the book was aimed squarely at teen girls who have no idea what adult relationships and love is. It’s easy for me to remember that I would’ve thought it hot that a vampire was stalking me. But 50 Shades was aimed at women who presumably understand what a healthy relationship should be.

      I know this rely is several years later, but I just found the blog as the movie opening is reaching its peak hype. I’ve devoured the recaps…they are addictive and hilarious and so, so spot on.

      February 8, 2015
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      • Al
        Al

        I hope this was just due to it being 2015 and Ace awareness being relatively minimal in older adults, but demisexual people exist and it’s both ignorant and shitty to consider them “naive” or “believing in fairy tales” because they want to have a romantic connection to people they have sex with. Also there’s a weird amount of virgin-shaming here. It’s not “only okay if you haven’t had the opportunity”; there is literally nothing wrong, immature, or naive about not wanting to have sex unless you have romantic feelings about someone. Even if you’re completely allosexual. You’re allowed to know what you want and make your own choices about it.

        That said, you’re right that in Ana’s specific case it’s unhealthy, because she’s never even so much as thought about what she wants before. Wanting to develop romantic feelings first would require having thought things through, and Ana hasn’t.

        September 18, 2022
        |Reply
  7. Anonymous
    Anonymous

    Just from a writing style aspect, the most annoying thing to me is her “inner goddess.” All I can picture is a Lizzie Maguire type cartoon of her off to the side performing each of her actions.

    January 21, 2014
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    • Catherine
      Catherine

      Oh, I can so see that. I’d always wondered what the inner goddess was..now that I know what it is…its even stupider than I thought it was going to be.

      I first thought it refereed to her passionate self (and even then I thought was a stupid name for it). Now, it just seems childish…and with all the child-like references…I’m dead right.

      February 18, 2015
      |Reply
  8. Becky
    Becky

    Not to nitpick, but I was sure you said in a previous chapter that you ran a word-search on the book and there was only one mention of Wanda?

    February 12, 2015
    |Reply
  9. Lily
    Lily

    Oh my god. I know you posted this years ago, but some of the things you point out and some of the things Christian Grey says reminds me so much of my ex. I can’t believe I spent so much time denying the fact that there was anything wrong in the relationship, although almost all my desires pointed towards not wanting to be with him .

    This has honestly been such a huge eye-opener for me so far. The whole “Do you really feel like this or do you think you ought to feel like this?”-sentence reminds me so much of him, it’s scary. His weird jealousy, too.

    February 18, 2015
    |Reply
  10. Trudy
    Trudy

    About the Blackberry… I have one, and so do a lot of other people I know who are in business, and so does the President of the US. Why? Because they are so much more secure than iPhones etc. I don’t find anything odd about Christian giving Ana a Blackberry – if he is any sort of business person, it would be quite normal. I do find it odd that she can just pick it up and operate it. It took me ages to figure mine out, and I’m under 30! Loving your recaps BTW!

    March 2, 2015
    |Reply
  11. Yvonne
    Yvonne

    “Isn’t it weird how you put a piece of technology in your book, and then in a while it’s outdated? I do that shit all the time, and it always bites me in the ass.”

    ~ What’s wrong with that? Who reads a 19th century/early 20th century novel and scoffs at the “modern” technology and culture of the time? It’s really part of the charm, if you ask me. I personally hate it when a very old movie or TV show is remade and the characters are placed in the present day rather than left in the era they were originally filmed in. I find it insulting. It’s basically saying “this story would be far more interesting if it took place today. Nobody can relate to the 1930’s anymore. Screw the past.”

    They even remade Nightmare on Elm Street just so they could put the fucking internet in the movie. Nothing of any importance was any different between the original and the remake. Well, except for Krueger’s origin story more closely matching Wes Craven’s original vision. And don’t get me started on the Honeymooners movie! They made it into a stereotypical sassy-ghetto-black-cast nightmare that spat in the face of everything Jackie Gleason stood for. >_<

    July 9, 2015
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    • Anon
      Anon

      What kind of ignorant, racist bullshit is that?

      This is an old comment on an old thread, but comments are still open and I’m calling you out for the sake of other African American readers who may come across this entry and feel disheartened by the other posters (this includes the OP) who would not.

      You do realize that the “ghetto” is not populated exclusively by black people, right?

      I’m sure that you’re also aware that the term “ghetto,” as it relates to a type of lifestyle, mentality, or personality trait, isn’t necessarily a descriptor emblematic of the African American community, right?

      You do realize that implying that African American and ghetto (remember, multivalent term, here) are synonymous is classic racism, right?

      I’ll bet my last penny you didn’t howl about the feminist remake of the ghost-busters, though I suspect you pitched an unholy fit about the African American addition to the team, as it most certainly would have “spat in the face” of what the original film-makers were going for.

      I’m not inclined to be classy or mature about this; we’re in the middle of a global pandemic and I have to share my country with filthy bigots like you who think I and mine should die so that they can get a haircut and go barhopping.

      I’m sick to death of being polite and reasonable with you folks.

      You’re no better than the racist assholes on Facebook and Twitter who crow about how Covid 19 is cutting a swath through communities of color.

      Your comment was repugnant and disgusting, and so are you.

      May 15, 2020
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      • Casey
        Casey

        I’ve had my disagreements with Yvonne before, but in this instance I interpreted her use of the word “ghetto” as an example of the movie (which I haven’t seen, to be fair) having stereotypical and racist depictions of black people, and playing to those racist stereotypes; I assumed this because she paired it with “sassy,” another common stereotype that gets played for humor in bad movies.
        However, I’m not her, so I can’t speak to her intentions, and intentions don’t necessarily matter when it comes to the impact of her words. I just wanted to optimistically assume this is a misunderstanding due to poor wording on Yvonne’s part, as opposed to racism.

        May 15, 2020
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  12. Cora
    Cora

    Ok, I know is kind of silly to be fixated on this when these books are so fucking creepy and all, but… how the hell was Christian able to sell Ana’s car without her doing anything at all? The VW belongs to Ana, right? so how is possible for Christian or Taylor or anyone who isn’t Ana to sell a car registered to her name without her signing any kind of permit or document saying she allows X person to negotiate and sell the car in her name? WTF? What Christian does is theft, isn’t it? and who would be stupid enough to buy a car without making sure he/she is dealing with the owner or someone who has written permission from the owner to sell the car? What if Christian’s manipulation hadn’t worked and Ana decided she wanted her car back or else she is going to sue Taylor and Christian for stealing her car and selling it? What then?

    Fuck this books and fuck the author who thinks a woman letting a man take away her possessions to force her to depend on him is romantic. If Ana had kept her car, then Christian wouldn’t have had his shitty excuse to go with Ana to José’s exposition, and then they wouldn’t have got back together, and Ana wouldn’t have been trapped in an abusive relationship and we wouldn’t have had to read the rest of the fucking books.

    Bless that VW, it would have saved us a lot of pain.

    September 28, 2015
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  13. Tab
    Tab

    In the spirit of the person above:
    Kate and Ana can’t be living where they’re living.
    There’s 296 units that you can apply for out in Pike Place, and 163 are low-income and elderly only. As in, you must be over 55 to live there, or below a certain tax bracket, and even then there’s a waitlist for a couple years.
    The rest are mostly studios and one-bedrooms. There’s a handful of two-bedroom apartments, but not many, which are available by application, first-come first-served, and they don’t keep a waitlist, so if you apply and there’s nothing, they throw out the application. Kate’s brother is supposed to be moving in with them, which hints that there would be three rooms. Which don’t exist. Could he sleep on the couch? One supposes, except that in this sort of area, the managers would have all sorts of rules against that.
    Which brings up the final problem: you can’t buy (as Kate’s parents did) apartments there. Not a matter of cost, but as a matter of not being for sale. At all.
    So where could they be living? Well, there’s a Target right up the hill from the clock sign…

    January 1, 2016
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    • Meggy
      Meggy

      Lol 2 years later and I’m wondering the same damn thing.

      Where I live (central British Columbia) we have apartments with a den, but from what I saw when I was near the public market in Seattle it wouldn’t be the same as where I live.

      February 16, 2018
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  14. Meggy
    Meggy

    Very late, but I’m trying to think of where they’d be that over looks Pike Place Market. I was in Seattle back in November ( Fall Out Boy!) and I’m now racking my brain to think of where there were regular apartments or did they just rent space over a shop?

    Like, can’t you just live near pioneer square ffs?

    February 16, 2018
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  15. Ashley
    Ashley

    I never noticed until I read your blog, but Ana’s heart leaps into her heart or throat an awful lot. You should add that to the drinking game. EL James certainly uses the same phrases a lot.

    August 1, 2018
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    • Ashley
      Ashley

      Oops that should say her heart leaps into her mouth or throat a lot.

      August 1, 2018
      |Reply

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