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FABIO

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Okay, dear readers, last night, something marvelous happened. I was sitting in the lobby lounge with Mr. Jen, Jill, Christina Radish and Bronwyn Green. Just after Bronwyn got up and left to go “chisel off these contacts”, and shortly after I became enraptured with watching Jurassic Park 3 on the bar TV that had no sound, someone, I don’t know who, says, “Oh my gosh, that is. That’s Fabio.”

I snap to instant Fabs alert. There he is, standing at the check-in. It’s him. Oh my God, that’s Fabio.

I grab my camcorder, used previously to record bits of Heather Graham’s amateur theatrics for posterity. Now, I put it to a more holy purpose: getting actual, video footage of Fabio checking into the hotel.

It’s like getting a video of the Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot. You’ve always known in your heart that Fabio is real, but you’ve never imagined being this close, ducking behind fake foliage in a crappy hotel bar, filming the creature in his natural habitat.

At one point, he tossed his hair.

Then, with preternatural instinct, the beast spots me. Fabulousio turns his deliciously chiseled features in my direction. I slam the camera closed and duck, though by now he can clearly see me. But I do not care. I have seen the face of Fabio and lived.

The good news, dear readers, is that when I return and have proper USB connecting type thingeys (and way more time than I’ve had of late), I will show you this shining promised land, hair toss and all.

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