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Do You Want Flies With That?

Posted in Uncategorized

Alternate title: “I’d Like A Number Four With Large Flies.”

On Fridays, my husband is responsible for ferrying the child back and forth to school. In between school and home, he usually picks us up some lunch at the only fast food restaurant I will eat at. I will not name it because I am still loyal to them, but it rhymes with schmickschmonalds.

Well, today, as I’m enjoying my golden, delicious fries for which schmickschmonalds is so famous, I find…

wait for it…

a crispy fried wing. Not from a chicken. From a common house fly.

Very few things will gross me out to the point that I’m no longer able to eat. Once, when I was eating a piece of cherry pie my grandmother had made, I found a whole housefly baked into it. My grandma just wicked him away with her pinky finger and said “Eh, he didn’t eat much,” and I finished eating. Because I was raised by people who honestly believed the presence of bugs in your food was a funny, unexpected bonus. I think that’s because they grew up in the depression or whatever and they probably were used to eating bugs.

However, having worked at a schmickschmonalds, I know what happens when a bug falls into the deep fryer. KA-BLAMO! They explode, spewing their soon to be crunchy, golden guts all over the place. ALL OVER MY FRIES.

I just couldn’t finish. A whole fly, I can do. Fly parts… yeck.

What is the worst thing you’ve ever found in your food, either at a fast food place or a regular restaurant?

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  1. Once, a long time ago, at smickuckysmiedsmicken, there were pin feathers still on the chicken. And, not fast food, but food related, at a breakfast place in Eastown, I saw a dead rat on the floor in the hallway by the women's restroom. Haven't been back since.
    Fascinating, the food trivia in your noggin. Exploding fly parts. Super gross.

    November 2, 2007
  2. I'm too grossed out to respond…perhaps it's actually time to read that copy of Fast Food Nation.

    November 3, 2007
  3. A band-aid in my chicken sandwich at Cheddars. No wonder it went out of business.

    My mom found a fingernail (of the acrylic variety) in her kung pao chicken once.


    Sweet hair by the way! And I love the books…a little birdy told me there is a 4th coming…me so happy 🙂

    November 5, 2007
  4. Anonymous

    when i worked at the same restaraunt you mentioned, i learned one of my managers was spitting his chew into the fryer because it gave him some sort of perverse pleasure

    lori from plainwell

    December 24, 2007

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