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Dear Pancreas: I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry

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It’s become a bit of a tradition, since about the time that I could pick out my own birthday cake, that I celebrate another year without dying with a big, gooey slab of my grandma Z’s German chocolate cake. This year, however, that didn’t work out, because my poor grandma is super sick with shingles and some other nasty stuff. Poor grandma!

Left to my own devices, I considered how to make this birthday just as good without German chocolate cake and rockin’ amazing goulash. I meditated carefully over the dilemma before me. At first, I settled on making my own German chocolate cake, but then I realized that if I did that, maybe German chocolate cake would cease being special. I should leave that to the professionals. I thought about making a Texas sheet cake, but I do that for my husband’s birthday in August, as it is his favorite cake.

What would make a cake special for me? Perhaps one that reflects my interests? I’ve made my kids a Lego Jack Sparrow cake, a Dora cake, a Tangled cake… what could I do for me? What do I love just as much as my kids love all that crap?

candy

 

OF COURSE! Why didn’t I think of that sooner?

Using one of the many Kit Kat cakes as a template for greatness. This is the end result:

P1000509

But I noticed that the recipes for most of those Kit Kat cakes call for you to use a chocolate cake and chocolate frosting. And here’s the thing… I love chocolate. But that sounds a little bit over the top. Like, waaaaay too much chocolate. Also, when you cut into a pile of joy like the one pictured above, the inside should be as beautiful as the outside. Like this:

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You wanna make a cake like this? It’s ridiculously easy. Here’s what I used:

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I do make the occasional cake from scratch. Things like caramel cake or yellow cake or my sacred chunk of moist and yummy joy, red velvet cake. But this was my fucking birthday and I didn’t feel like making a huge production of it. So, I used:

  • 1 box white cake mix and the oil, eggs and water to bring it into being.
  • 2 cans Duncan Hines Frosting Creations starter
  • 2 packets Duncan Hines Frosting Creations flavoring in White Chocolate Raspberry
  • 1 big bag of M&Ms
  • 9 Kit Kats (and the cashier is totally going to give you side eye when you’re grabbing them from beside the register)

You’re going to prepare 2 9″ round pans. If you use a larger or different sized pan, you’re going to need a different number of Kit Kats, and you’re on your own. Prepare your batter and color it like I did for my rainbow cupcakes, but this time, you’re going to put the batter into the two 9″ round pans. It should look something like this:

P1000503

 

The best technique for this, I’ve found, is to spread a thin layer of the first color with a spatula across the bottom of the pan. Then pour on the next color and roll the pan around. If you use a spatula on the next layer, you’ll accidentally mix the colors and it will all be gray-brown and disappointing. It helps when you’re pouring it on to do it in a sort of wide circle. If that makes sense.

When your cake is baked and cool, whip up the frosting. My general rule for all canned frosting is that you should take it out of the can and put it in your mixing bowl and hit it with the electric mixer for a while, to fluff it up. Unfortunately, halfway through the making of this cake, my power went out. So I had to mix the frosting and the flavor packets by hand.

Quick review of Duncan Hines Frosting Creations: Just put a teaspoon of Jell-O powder into regular frosting, it’s the same damn thing.

Once the frosting was mixed up, I frosted the cake. By the by, if you do try out the Frosting Creations racket, the color of the white chocolate raspberry flavor is Grurple:

P1000505

 

The lack of electric lighting is really doing the color a favor there.

When that’s all done, you just break apart all the Kit Kats and start pushing them into the frosting around the cake. I didn’t get a photo of this stage, because I was working quickly in an un-air conditioned house. If this happens to do you, do what I did and just stick the cake in the freezer for a few minutes so the Kit Kats don’t slide everywhere. Then pour in the M&M’s, stick on your candles, and serve it.

Getting the blog transferred and The Boss ready for publication has really taken a bite out of my regular blogging, but I’ll be back with another 50 Shades recap at the end of this week!

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Here for the first time because you’re in quarantine and someone on Reddit recommended my Fifty Shades of Grey recaps? Welcome! Consider checking out my own take on the Billionaire BDSM genre, The Boss. Find it on AmazonB&NSmashwords, iBooks, and Radish!

9 Comments

  1. I still need to make those rainbow cupcakes.

    July 16, 2013
    |Reply
  2. Oh, that looks fantastic! Worthy of my 40th birthday next year!

    July 16, 2013
    |Reply
  3. Ummm… When are you coming over to make that cake for me? 🙂 Happy Birthday!

    July 16, 2013
    |Reply
  4. You can use a skewer or toothpick to do swirls. If you don’t to it a whole lot (like more than 6 “swirls”) it’ll look marbled and/or tie-dyed and not grey. Learned about that when I worked for a restaurant and worked in the bakery 🙂

    July 16, 2013
    |Reply
  5. Anonymous
    Anonymous

    Amazing! I showed this to my husband and he now wants a cake like this for his birthday. Thanks for the recipe :-).

    July 16, 2013
    |Reply
  6. Awesome Potaotes
    Awesome Potaotes

    O_O I MUST see this Tangled cake. Photos? Pleeeeeease!

    July 16, 2013
    |Reply
  7. Love this entry! Great photos. I like the format on this new blog site. Happy Birthday!

    July 16, 2013
    |Reply
  8. Anonymous
    Anonymous

    yum!!!

    July 17, 2013
    |Reply

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