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State of The Trout

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Long time, no see! I know, it seems like I’m avoiding you. I’m not. I’ve just got stuff going on! Great stuff!

  • I’m hard at work on editing The Girlfriend, the much anticipated sequel to The Boss. I’m aiming for an August 20th release for the ebook, but since I’ve never worked with the ebook company I’m working with now, that could be subject to change. So stay tuned. I’m also looking to coordinate a cover reveal for August 10th. If you have a blog, and you’d like to be a part of the cover reveal, fill out this form.
  • Speaking of cover reveals, you still have a day to enter the Such Sweet Sorrow cover reveal contest, for a chance to win the book!
  • I’ve also been hard at work editing a short story for a friend, and it got me thinking… I could definitely do this for other people. So, I’m offering up my services as an editor. If you’re looking to hire someone to work on your project, check out the “editing services” tab in the menu above.
  • And on top of all of this, I’ve been sucked into a New Adult book idea that hit me like a truck. More information on that as it’s available.

So, what have you all been up to? If you’ve been up to nothing, just make something up. If you want to be really awesome, make something up and put dragons in it.

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Here for the first time because you’re in quarantine and someone on Reddit recommended my Fifty Shades of Grey recaps? Welcome! Consider checking out my own take on the Billionaire BDSM genre, The Boss. Find it on AmazonB&NSmashwords, iBooks, and Radish!

88 Comments

  1. wonderbink
    wonderbink

    I’ve been recovering from a rather significant setback (she says tactfully) but I’ve been using the recovery time to draw flowers, attempt to relearn the piano and sneak past the Head Gremlin that’s trying to stop me from finishing this vampire-free paranormal romance I’ve been working on. (No vampires. No werewolves. Magicians. In really sharp suits.)

    August 1, 2013
    |Reply
    • I heard that if you tickle the Gremlin while he’s trying to answer your third riddle, he drops a magical key and you can escape via the log flume ride.

      August 1, 2013
      |Reply
  2. heartsintune
    heartsintune

    So I’ve been following you ever since you started recapping 50 shades and I visit your site frequently to see what you’ve been up to. The only reason I’ve never commented is because I couldn’t figure out the comment thing on my phone and I’m lazy to fetch my laptop 🙂

    I am 30 years old and I have never read an erotic novel…like, ever. And I read a couple of your past novels and have been HOOKED on the boss. You are an amazing writer and I get sucked into your books so easily. You are a true talent. I especially love how your intelligence and passion for writing just flow into words on paper. I can tell you truly love what you do and it makes me love your stories :)))

    This is a great update on what you are doing. Congrats on a new venture with editing and I can’t wait to get my hands on The Girlfriend!

    For me, I just got the keys to my new office/studio, and I have been moving in all morning. I have been working on my business for about 2 solid months now and will open my doors in 2 weeks. Overwhelming, exhausting, fun and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

    August 1, 2013
    |Reply
    • New office? What do you do? Are you a dentist? An architect? OMG IF YOU ARE AN ARCHITECT ARE YOU GOING TO STEAL MY HUSBAND? DO YOU HAVE AN EUROPEAN NAME?!

      I’m glad you commented, by the way, you’re in my army now.

      August 1, 2013
      |Reply
  3. War
    War

    I’m breeding dragons. Shiny, colorful dragons. Trying to get my act together to get serious about putting together that Yaoi-ish Whore House retaliation comic (like what you did with the Boss to 50 Shades, I’m doing with my idea. Only it’s a comic. About whores. With pictures and not as many descriptive words). Eventually getting around to that Zombie porn comic.

    But right now I should be studying for a promotion. :/

    August 1, 2013
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    • zeeeeeestar
      zeeeeeestar

      like teahouse, or in retaliation TO teahouse?

      August 1, 2013
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    • Zee
      Zee

      Yaoi whore house? Where do I buy this?

      I have a weak spot for yaoi …

      August 2, 2013
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      • zeeeeeestar
        zeeeeeestar

        there’s a webcomic called teahouse that’s about a yaoi whorehouse. i’m wondering about the “retaliation comic” that war mentions because teahouse is the only yaoi whorehouse comic i know of.

        August 2, 2013
        |Reply
  4. I was trying to save the prince who’s trapped in the castle that’s guarded by the fire breathing dragon, but we got to talking (the dragon and me) and decided that no man who was able to get himself trapped in a castle was worth the trouble and we went to have a beer. Turns out that Mary (the dragon’s name) is actually very misunderstood. She wasn’t keeping Prince Dumbass in the castle. She was trying to get him out! He invaded a few years ago and like the creepy uncle that doesn’t know when to leave, he’s taken up residence. The twat. She and I are gonna kick it roomie style for a while until the judge signs off on the eviction notice.

    Also, I graduate college in 7 days 6 hours, 49 minutes, and 15 seconds. But who’s counting, right?

    August 1, 2013
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    • That prince is an a-hole anyway. He was running into Circle K, and I was like, “Get me a bottled water,” and I gave him a ten, and he never gave me my change. Congrats on the graduation though!

      August 1, 2013
      |Reply
  5. Amanda
    Amanda

    I’m sick. Baby is sick. Toddler was sick for like 5 minutes yesterday and now has all the energy ever. This does not make a great combination.

    August 1, 2013
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    • I feel you. My four-year-old had a 101.7 degree fever for two hours. Now she’s FINE. But I spent a lot of time with a hot kid in my lap, so I’M exhausted.

      August 1, 2013
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    • My kids were sick last week. Which was just when they’d recovered from the super-stressful week when my husband was running a teen conference. Also my sister had two surgeries for thyroid cancer in the last two weeks.

      What have I been doing? NOTHING. Except reading Pride and Prejudice fanfic. I’ve managed ten minutes of artwork, which is better than nothing.

      Oh, but I did manage to keep my Ephesians study going and I’m nearly done. My last post will be today or tomorrow. I’m getting a lot of follows on that blog (okay, only 25, but it’s only like 30 posts) it’s kinda weird.

      Next week I will go back to practicing swordfighting and saving the world from giant aliens. And crocheting my own armor, of course. Or knitting, possibly.

      August 2, 2013
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      • Did they take out her thyroid? I hope her cancer goes completely away.

        August 2, 2013
        |Reply
      • They did – the first time they thought they could just take out half, but then the final pathology wasn’t as good and they had to go back in and take out the rest. She should be fine – it’s likely she won’t need any further treatment

        Today I had a stomach bug and my eight-month-old had what turned out to be an ear infection. I am never getting anything done ever again.

        Oh! But Thursday we have a playdate to get to know our neighbors, with the help of a plastic tablecloth on the yard and lots of shaving cream. I’m looking forward to that

        August 5, 2013
        |Reply
  6. zeeeeeestar
    zeeeeeestar

    i am trying to not stress over money and all the late bills we have, and trying to lose myself in the world i’m creating for a book i want to write (if i weren’t a terrible writer, that is). i’m obsessing over the language and lore and history and government and all of that, and the plot is still this thin wisp that slips through my grasp when i try to pin it. so i work on other bits hoping the wisp will stop being shy and will grace me with its presence. also it’s fun to do all the other stuff anyway. especially species creation! well, sort of creation, as there will be mer-people, but not like any mer-peeps i’ve ever read about/heard of. i’m hoping their rather unique, but time will tell i guess! but there’s still magic and fantastical beasts! and brilliant technology! and it makes me all excited when i think about it.

    August 1, 2013
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    • The excitement part has to sustain you. Fistbump of poor-people solidarity.

      August 1, 2013
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      • zeeeeeestar
        zeeeeeestar

        so far it is. i have lulls of no creativity, but still find the idea exciting and fun, so i just jot down notes and keep them together. better to go with the flow than to force it, in my experience.

        woo! fistbumps! too bad it’s for a crappy reason.

        August 2, 2013
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    • zeeeeeestar
      zeeeeeestar

      i need to pay more attention… *they’re rather unique. holy pee holes, batman.

      August 2, 2013
      |Reply
  7. I’ve been writing and looking for a home for my books. On top of dealing with the hurts and fatigue of “pain from unknown causes” and….uh….*thinks of something interesting*…. hunting wild elephants.

    August 1, 2013
    |Reply
  8. Sarah C.
    Sarah C.

    I rescheduled a tattoo appointment because it’s 92 freaking degrees here and (it being NL) nobody has air conditioning. Also, laying in front of a fan half-naked, randomly freaking out because my mother will be here in a week (first visit ever! I’ve been here 8 years) and I need to clean and finish painting some stuff and it’s HOT and omg panic.

    I mean, um…fluffy bunnies with big pointy teeth!

    August 1, 2013
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    • I can’t figure out for the life of me what or where NL is. Please advise, so I can get a better picture of why people wouldn’t have air conditioning in such assy temps.

      August 1, 2013
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      • Sophie
        Sophie

        Holland? as in Netherlands?

        August 1, 2013
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      • Anna
        Anna

        Yes, definitely the Netherlands! I’m a Dutch reader and the weather over here is fantastic for a change.

        August 1, 2013
        |Reply
      • Sarah C.
        Sarah C.

        Netherlands! It’s actually summer here! It’s a rare occurrence, so we’re all wallowing in it while we have it (it’ll be cold enough for a jacket again by mid-August, most likely).

        August 4, 2013
        |Reply
  9. Ooooooohhh the Girlfriend!! I’m so looking forward to some FRICKING CLOSURE!!
    Also (I can ask now … WordPress will let me :D) … Did Deja do it? I think Deja did it … it was my theory for about the last 6 chapters of the Boss.
    This week I’ve mostly been sewing for a steampunk convention that I’m attending in September; giant skirts, bustles and corsets AHOY! Also, no dragons this year, but I’m working on a design for an oriental outfit for next year incorporating a dragon-ed up flamethrower 😀

    (Wow, I just had to triple-proof this post before I could send it. I need to top up my beer levels)

    August 1, 2013
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  10. Hi, my name is Zena. I’ve been busy sweating and melting. What with all the dragons firing up the place and whatnot. (Or alternatively as it’s been the hottest summer I can remember in at least 10 years here in the UK, and I have a frickin’ GLASS KILN IN MY BEDROOM. whose brilliant idea was that?! Oh yeah, right, mine. Stupid customers wanting to pay me to make things when it is too damn hot)

    To add to the insanity I’m about to go for a run! *crazy laughter-merging-into-crazy-sobbing*

    August 1, 2013
    |Reply
    • At least wait until the sun goes down and what not before you go running. That’s the only way I got through our heatwave.

      August 1, 2013
      |Reply
      • Sophie
        Sophie

        This is the time of year where I’m extra glad that I swim rather than run. If only all these fairweather people would get out the fricking pool, at any rate. Ladies who run, i salute you. I can’t walk 30 yards in this vile heat.

        August 1, 2013
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      • Hehe, yup it pretty much was sundown here when I wrote that 😉
        Great minds etc.

        August 2, 2013
        |Reply
  11. I spent last weekend selling brightly-colored string to people in Oklahoma and am going to spend the coming weekend creating additional brightly-colored string and also rubbing cheap vodka all over an antique spinning wheel. I may (or may not) check this blog for updates five or six times a day.

    August 1, 2013
    |Reply
    • Fess up, you drink basically half that vodka, and then sheer sheep while plastered.

      August 1, 2013
      |Reply
      • Actually I specifically use cheap vodka so I won’t drink it. There’s a reason I don’t clean the wheels with brandy. And have you ever tried to catch a sheep while drunk? They’re surprisingly agile. I try to get drunk only around my fake girlfriend because it amuses her when I recite “The Jabberwocky” in the Meatwad voice.

        August 3, 2013
        |Reply
  12. I got made redundant from my job on Monday so mostly I’ve been drinking cider and feeling bitter. I’ve also been going to the gym like, A LOT. It helps with the rage.

    August 1, 2013
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    • Holy fuck. I’m sorry that happened to you. On the upside, more gym time means your ability to karate chop your old boss’s desk in half will probably quadruple.

      August 1, 2013
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      • Sophie
        Sophie

        Sorry to hear about the redundancy. it happened to me a few months ago, from the only job I’ve ever really loved& been passionate about, and, grrr, argh.(complete with claws) I hope something much better comes along very soon.

        August 1, 2013
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      • Anonymous
        Anonymous

        Thanks everyone, Internet compassion makes the hurt a little less. 🙂

        And when I karate chop that desk like a motherfucker the closure will be complete.

        August 2, 2013
        |Reply
      • Thanks everyone, Internet compassion makes the hurt a little less. 🙂

        And when I karate chop that desk like a motherfucker the closure will be complete.

        August 2, 2013
        |Reply
  13. Alison
    Alison

    Oh! Mine actually has dragons in it! I found “How to Train Your Dragon” at the library for my daughter to watch. I came into the room as the credits were playing and saw that David Tennant was in it. Which I think I knew but had forgotten. I’m a huge DT fan so I’ll have to watch it with her next time. I also got “Brave” which was awesome.

    So looking forward to The Girlfriend!

    August 1, 2013
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    • Yeah, he was in it, but it was like this really small part. What a waste of awesomeness!

      August 1, 2013
      |Reply
  14. Irene
    Irene

    I’m only just catching up with the Boss! I’d totally forgotten about it since chapter 14, hehe. I’m not on here a lot. Also, I’m only now rising from the dead after several days in bed with a high fever and a bad cold. Now I’m just hanging out with my pet dragon

    August 1, 2013
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    • The Boss didn’t forget about you. It sat, silent and waiting, in the bushes outside of your house. Who do you think brought you that mysterious flagon of chicken noodle soup? It was the book…

      August 1, 2013
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      • Andrea
        Andrea

        Yes but it is still an amazing movie!

        August 2, 2013
        |Reply
  15. Nadia
    Nadia

    Was having an okay week until I saw on CNN that Alexander Skarsgard was rumored to play ass hat christian. I’ve been in tears ever since. Trying to teach my baby dragon how to kill an author so that her blasphemous writings can Poof be gone. Other than that, got the Good meds today and plan on being high the rest of the night.

    August 1, 2013
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    • Do people in Hollywood not know what 27 year olds look like, or…

      August 2, 2013
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      • zeeeeeestar
        zeeeeeestar

        but he’s SO OLD, jenny. don’t forget that! anabella says so ALL THE TIME.

        August 2, 2013
        |Reply
    • Kelsey
      Kelsey

      OH GOD NO THIS CAN’T HAPPEN.

      August 3, 2013
      |Reply
  16. Jen, I love that you answered EVERY ONE of these posts…and your answers crack me up! You are my favorite person I never met.

    I’m trying to slay the dragon of a to-do list I have for this summer before I go back to teaching in 12 (!) days. Hubby says I take on too much, but that’s only because I always forget that these darn little people we made take up SO MUCH time and prevent me from finishing one friggin’ thought (never mind a whole project.) *sigh*

    August 1, 2013
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    • When I make my to-do lists, I put a bunch of stupid shit on there, like, “Eat a bowl of cereal,” and “be sexy,” and then if I do nothing else, I can cross those off. I recommend this strategy for you, as well, because somehow, it makes you get other stuff done.

      August 2, 2013
      |Reply
  17. Katie
    Katie

    I was on an archaeology expedition, but a huge storm shipwrecked us on an island full of insane cultists, so I found a bow have been shooting people in the face trying to get out of here. Finding lots of cool artifacts, though!

    August 1, 2013
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    • Those belong in a museum!

      Oh wait, you said “shipwreck” and not plane crash/white water rafting expedition.

      August 2, 2013
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      • Katie
        Katie

        Good news! I escaped the island! Now I just need to find a doctor to give me every antibiotic ever invented.

        August 2, 2013
        |Reply
  18. Zee
    Zee

    I’ve been missing your posts! Saw the tweets you put up last night, wish I could call quits for the day at my job when I feel tired (or not, I’d never work then) 😉

    I’m tempted by this editor offer you’re making, but I get the feeling a lot of people here would. And also, fees. Yes I’m tight with my cash.

    August 2, 2013
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    • I get that! I used to edit for a publisher and I made not a lot of money. Now I’m like, “I’m going to charge what everybody else is charging and do it on my own!”

      August 2, 2013
      |Reply
  19. Zee
    Zee

    Oh, and what have I been up to? I’ve had bronchitis which gave me laryngitis and couldn’t talk for a week, but since I had my PR and my quarterly review I had to work. In a McDonald’s. with no voice and a sexy cough. And 100 other staff to make fun of me (call pest control, we’ve got a mouse! And other witty comments). My son got bit on the eye by a bug so I was doing pirate impressions around him when we took him to the doctor for some antihistamines, and I’ve started panicking that I go to Italy in three weeks and have no euros yet. Although, Italy, so all the other crap makes up for it.

    Also, dragons. Dragons are cool.

    August 2, 2013
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    • Did you at least throw some eggs in the freezer while you were at McDonald’s?

      August 2, 2013
      |Reply
      • zee
        zee

        No, but that sounds like an awesome idea! Maybe when I finally get to hand my notice in, I will do that 😉

        August 3, 2013
        |Reply
  20. Stella
    Stella

    I was in a motorbike accident last week, so I’m mostly taking photos of the technicolor bruisecoat that is my left arm and wrangling with insurance companies and solicitors. I have the week off work tomorrow, which is the first time I’ve had more than two days off in a row this year; SO EXCITED, OMG. I plan to lie on the sofa a lot and also play a lot of video games. And maybe go to the doctor. :/

    August 2, 2013
    |Reply
    • Oh man. Motorcycles are awesome, but be careful! Also, if your bruise is super cool, you could show us a picture. 😀

      August 2, 2013
      |Reply
      • Stella
        Stella

        Haha, my bruising was EPIC. I hope this link works:

        http://tinyurl.com/l5qgpdu

        That’s my arm and my leg two weeks after the accident. The photos from immediately after are a little bit gross.

        August 6, 2013
        |Reply
  21. Flo
    Flo

    Just sitting around, glad that the heat is over in this part of the US, and anxiously awaiting the release of “The Girlfriend”–so get back to work! jk!

    August 2, 2013
    |Reply
    • What’s that? Watch more Merlin, you say? Don’t mind if I do!

      LOL, j/k, I finished revisions tonight.

      August 2, 2013
      |Reply
  22. Lindsay
    Lindsay

    I’ve been finishing my second to last semester of law school, which will be over today! I have been celebrating by spending 0 extra hours working this week and instead getting myself hooked on Skyrim. Except all I want to do is go around the world and pick berries and flowers and yet every time I try to start a friendly conversation with someone, they are asking me to do shit for them. And not little shit like, hey can you walk me home, but big shit, like hey can you go across the world and kill people to get me my sword back. I don’t know, maybe I’m old fashioned, but you don’t ask for a hit on the first date.

    August 2, 2013
    |Reply
    • OMG, D-Rock and I laughed so hard at this comment because she’s playing Skyrim right now, and she said the same thing. She was like, “I can’t go five feet without some motherfucker asking me to kill somebody for them!” When we’re out running, she’ll see a plant and go, “Hang on, I need to pick some of that for Skyrim.”

      August 2, 2013
      |Reply
  23. I work in an institution where most of our clients suffer from severe schizophrenia and-or personality disorders. Most of the time they’re quite nice and everything goes well, but I guess the heatwave affected them pretty bad. Last weekend I was yelled at, accused, threatened, hit on, and told repeatedly that I was the crazy one… Coming home to find a new Buffy Rewatch = much needed laughter.

    The job isn’t easy but I love it. Besides, I need the money to pay for my Masters in Criminology, so that I can work with people who have severe mental health issues AND problems with the law.. Who knows, maybe I’ll come across a Red Dragon 😉

    August 2, 2013
    |Reply
    • Or you can help protect people who get beaten to death by the cops because they’re mentally ill! Although it’s crazy that that is even a problem in the first place.

      August 2, 2013
      |Reply
  24. Andrea
    Andrea

    Have you seen the unrated Robin Thicke music video for Blurred Lines? (I know the song is kind of rapey.) I think the brunette girl dancer reminds me of Ana. She is just kind of THERE while stuff happens. She’s dancing. She’s funny without meaning to be. And dear lord, she has gorgeous breasts.

    August 2, 2013
    |Reply
    • That song is way rapey. But I’ve seen the video! The same girl is in both versions, and I know EXACTLY what you mean! She looks totally vacant.

      August 2, 2013
      |Reply
  25. Jaycie
    Jaycie

    Jen, the important question: When’s the next 50 Shades recap coming???

    As for me, I finally came to terms with the many areas in which I and my boyfriend of four years were plain incompatible (spoiler: It in no way involved spanking), and I broke it off this weekend. Not an easy decision, but I’m sure it’s the right one.

    August 2, 2013
    |Reply
    • I’m sorry about your breakup. 🙁 But if it’s the right decision, I’m glad you made it. As for the recap, it’ll be coming just as soon as I get The Girlfriend through line edits, so possibly as soon as next week!

      August 2, 2013
      |Reply
  26. Jodi Scaife
    Jodi Scaife

    Unfortunately, my week has mainly be fighting with the local post office to 1. get my mail box rekeyed since I couldn’t unlock my box Monday afternoon 2. claim my mail that was being held at the post office. Maybe I should have used dragons!

    August 2, 2013
    |Reply
    • Jodi Scaife
      Jodi Scaife

      been fighting even

      August 2, 2013
      |Reply
    • You should have been using owls. I didn’t pay all of that Hogwarts tuition for nothing!

      August 2, 2013
      |Reply
  27. Serenity
    Serenity

    I went to China and Tibet and touched a red panda!

    August 2, 2013
    |Reply
    • DID YOU REALLY?! ARE THERE PHOTOS?! I need to see this. I want to just grab a red panda and squeeze the life out of it from cuteness.

      August 2, 2013
      |Reply
      • Reenie
        Reenie

        Oh yay! I can finally use my nerdy trivia!! There is a word in the Philippine language, ‘Gigil’, and it means “the urge to pinch or squeeze something that is unbearably cute”. Useless information rocks! Hope you are well (and everyone else who visits this site) xx

        August 5, 2013
        |Reply
  28. Suzy
    Suzy

    I’ve just dropped my truck of at the mechanic to have my breaks looked at. I took it there almost two years ago to have the water pump replaced. They remembered me and my little truck! How great is that! These guys are super nice, never try to get me to fix stuff that doesn’t need fixed, don’t act all “don’t worry little lady” with me and are totally affordable. I expect this from the mechanic in my tiny home town, after all if you screw people in a small town, who’s gonna use your services? But in a big city? AWESOME!

    Just super excited by how great it is to find an honest mechanic. Also, I’m in the middle of canning my homemade pesto. I’m up to 24 pints. Geeze 12 basil plants makes a lot of pesto!

    August 2, 2013
    |Reply
    • That’s awesome. It’s sad that we get so excited to not get ripped off, LOL.

      August 2, 2013
      |Reply
  29. Hi Jenny!
    Love your blog and just started to follow you on Twitter too!
    I just started a blog too, so thanks for inspiring me! It sucks still, don’t check it out, haha!

    August 2, 2013
    |Reply
    • Ha! Every blog has it’s growing pains. I suggest you find something inexplicably popular that lots of people hate, and start making fun of it. That really breaks the ice.

      August 2, 2013
      |Reply
  30. Vitor
    Vitor

    Hey, Jenny.
    I read some chapters of The Boss and I’m totally addicted. The only thing is that I got lost on the chapters because of personal matters. And since I’m now free (of my university, for now xD), I’ll read the rest of the chapters.
    By the way, did you read this? – http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/movies/news/a491768/stephen-amell-on-50-shades-refusal-christian-grey-isnt-interesting.html .
    I can assure you, you’ll totally laugh with this like I did xD
    Have a good writing 🙂

    August 3, 2013
    |Reply
  31. Kelsey
    Kelsey

    You want the list?
    – Got a job (for the summer) but since the summer’s half over, job ends soon. Have loved every minute of it other than dealing with the boss from hell. But she’s on vacation until Thursday, and then she’s getting laid off, so the rest of the summer will be MUCH better.
    – Dog got sick. Really sick. Like, terminal but temporarily under control with medication.
    – Got my driver’s license, finally. I’m 24, so it was kind of a big deal 😛
    – Bought a condo!!! I move in 6 weeks.
    – Trying to sell our current home (my parents’) so they can move away from us >.<
    – Starting my teaching internship in 3 weeks and I'm nervous as hell.
    – Started seeing someone (kinda), and got dumped (kinda – he's moving out of continent).
    – Got tickets to see Les Mis!!!!

    So yeah, it's been a busy few weeks. I think I might have gone a bit nuts, and I'm pretty much ok with that.

    August 3, 2013
    |Reply
    • Kelsey
      Kelsey

      Oh, and I’m considering a new business venture 🙂 Nothing big (doing nails in my spare time), but apparently my hairdresser has found me customers without me even telling her about it. So that’s cool.

      August 3, 2013
      |Reply
  32. Ayu Ohseki
    Ayu Ohseki

    So, totally(*) true story: today I went to do some grocery shopping, and since the supermarket’s not super-far-away and I don’t have a car and there’s a nice breeze today, I walk. On the way back, I figure, hey, let’s try to take a shortcut, I think I know basically where I can go to cut out some of the distance!

    Except I don’t turn where I should and I end up getting lost and stuck in a dead end and having to retrace back almost the entire way I had. While carrying a gallon of milk and several frozen items. Meanwhile, the nice breeze is doing less and less for me and I can feel myself nearing heat exhaustion.

    Then a dragon swooped down from out of nowhere and offered me a ride home on her back–but not before we had awesome adventures! And then we had totally awesome adventures, and then I got home and put my groceries away and ate sushi and cooled down. The End!

    (*) story may in fact not be /totally/ true, but it has a dragon, so fuck you, who cares

    August 4, 2013
    |Reply

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