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Sudden and unexpected blog hiatus

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Something wretched has happened to me. I think I have food poisoning. I’ll be back if I don’t die. Recap of Buffy is on hold. Recap of 50 Shades Freed is on hold, because I’m nauseated enough.

Sorry, guys.

ETA: I am no longer dying, but if I don’t wind up P90X ripped from the workout my chest and abdomen got last night, I’m going to be piiiiiiiiissed. Look for a Buffy recap and a late edition of Roadhouse on Monday.

As for everyone who suggested I was intentionally poisoning myself to avoid reading 50 Shades Freed… that’s actually quite a good idea.

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56 Comments

  1. Ugh, food poisoning is terrible! I hope you'll be better soon!

    May 24, 2013
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  2. I hope you feel better soon!

    May 24, 2013
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  3. That's awful!! 🙁 Hope you feel better, drink lots of water!!!

    May 24, 2013
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  4. Anonymous
    Anonymous

    What a terrible thing. I hope you feel better, food poisoning is the worst… You'll be back on your feet in no time! Get well soon!

    May 24, 2013
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  5. Nim
    Nim

    Oh no, I hope it's not too awful- get better soon! Ginger tea is really good for tummy issues. Adding lemon and honey is beneficial too.

    May 24, 2013
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  6. Carbon pills helped me when I wasn't able to move without puking. Give them a try.

    May 24, 2013
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  7. Shorts
    Shorts

    What Nim and Sona says! Feel better, love your writing and look forward to it all the time.

    May 24, 2013
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  8. Anonymous
    Anonymous

    Get well soon!

    May 24, 2013
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  9. I recommend that even if you feel you can't hold anything down, that you drink some amount of water, even if you throw it up afterwards.

    Get some rest and feel better soon!

    May 24, 2013
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  10. Golly, get better soon! Take care of yourself, Jen.

    May 24, 2013
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  11. It's not food poisoning.

    It's the culmination of coping with Fifty Shades of Gastric Horror.

    ((get better and stay hydrated!))

    May 24, 2013
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  12. Trynn
    Trynn

    I recommend ice chips. They help with the thirst problem without irritating the stomach.

    May 24, 2013
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  13. Anonymous
    Anonymous

    Try to vomit on the previous two books.

    May 24, 2013
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  14. Anonymous
    Anonymous

    Oh ick. Feel better soon!

    May 24, 2013
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  15. Did you catch Ana's pregnancy? 😉

    May 25, 2013
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  16. Spooky! I was about to say are you sure it isn't a half-human half-vampire demon baby trying to chew its' way out of you, or does it just feel that way?
    Seriously – rest up, take care of yourself and recover. And stop apologising. Your writing is wonderful, makes my day, and we can wait.

    May 25, 2013
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  17. This! Jenny just can't handle Christian and Ana anymore, so is either fibbing about food poisoning or made herself sick on purpose because that sounds funner than dealing with those two morons. =D

    May 25, 2013
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  18. Take care! I've had food poisoning a few times, two of those times back to back (I now have a hard time with some seafood) and salmonella last year, and it's awful. I'll echo what's been said. Even if it comes up, drink up. Small sips. You need to stay hydrated to help flush it out of you.

    May 25, 2013
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  19. Pretty sure recapping 50 Shades while suffering from food poisoning would kill you.

    Get well soon, Jenny!

    May 25, 2013
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  20. zee
    zee

    Of course she's making herself sick on purpose, she's voluntarily reading fifty shades!

    May 25, 2013
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  21. ednaz
    ednaz

    Take care, Jenny.
    Your excellent posts are worth any wait.

    May 25, 2013
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  22. Please don't die! Get better soon; we'll be here when you get back. Self care comes first. *nodnod*

    May 25, 2013
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  23. I knew reviewing these three books would eventually kill you.

    Nevermind the updates; just hope you feel better soon. In the meantime, I'll just have to amuse myself by watching GIFs of silly animals.
    http://animalsbeingdicks.com/

    May 25, 2013
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  24. Teresa
    Teresa

    Feel better soon Jenny

    May 25, 2013
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  25. Anonymous
    Anonymous

    pretty sure Jenny is smart enough to know to drink water, y'all. i must have missed the part of the post where she asked for advice.

    (yeah, i'm being touchy. mostly because the other day she tweeted that she was going to give up dieting and focus on being awesome (or something to that affect) and a bunch of people chimed in all “what worked for me to lose weight was…”. i found that to be really obnoxious and very rude. when she wants our advice, she will ask for it.)

    May 25, 2013
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  26. It's cool, “drink water” is the “get better soon” of food poisoning. Although, I didn't drink much water, I was too busy groaning and being pathetic. 😀

    FYI everybody, Magnesium helps with the cramps from food poisoning.

    May 25, 2013
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  27. OMG, I could POISON myself! Why didn't I think of that sooner? *chews a gritty mouthful of Comet*

    May 25, 2013
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  28. I'm not saying it's an intentional, Socrates-like poisoning, more of an, “Oh God, I can't stand this shit anym- [insert sound of up-chucking here]”

    May 25, 2013
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  29. Anonymous
    Anonymous

    There is certainly a great deal to learn about this issue.

    I really like all the points you made.

    my website diet that works

    May 25, 2013
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  30. zee
    zee

    I thought it was more the cause of the poisoning. It left me curled in a ball on my bed for a couple of hours afterwards, hoping no one would ever touch me again. Fifty is bad for your health.

    May 25, 2013
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  31. Ouch, hope you feel better soon and have nice things to read while you recover.

    May 25, 2013
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  32. Glad to read that you are no longer as poorly, still stay away from FSF just in case. Maybe you've developed the serious alcohol poisoning that Ana should have had at least a book ago?

    May 25, 2013
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  33. And then the movies. *head desk*

    And the journal with writing tips. If anyone wants, I'll go get my hands on a copy and take pictures of, well, all the “tips” and we can snark those.

    There's an article on Cracked on how to successfully plagiarize and write financially-successful fanfiction, though the author of the article mistook the books for consensual sex. All those people saying it's all consensual are no more capable of identifying rape as the kids in Stubenville. Really scary.

    These books are poison for us, poison for society, poison for life. What shall we name it?

    May 25, 2013
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  34. Take it form someone who lost enough weight that insurance covered the removal of a bunch of excess skin – the fad weight-loss diets listed on your website do not work for any long-term loss. A diet is what you regularly eat whether you're trying to gain or lose weight or just don't care. Weight loss requires a permanent change in a person's diet and expending more calories in a day than you consume, not subscribing to the South Beach diet through a website that is nothing more than a bunch of advertising.

    I'm still trying to figure out is this is in reply to the comment above about Jenny giving up trying to lose weight or is pure spam that happened to be posted at a coincidental time. Regardless, it's spam, and unsafe spam. Unless you're in Hawaii, no one likes spam. Over there it's practically a delicacy though.

    May 26, 2013
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  35. Nadia
    Nadia

    All that matters is that you don't die. Get better and get back to being fabulous.

    May 26, 2013
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  36. No, no, we don't want that asshole going down in history, even if it's infamy.

    I propose “Literary Anaphylaxis” for the effect and “Abuse Agnosia” (or, to coin a new word, “Abusagnosia”) for the cause.

    May 26, 2013
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  37. Mandy
    Mandy

    Definitely spam. The vague reference to the 'issue' and 'point made' says it all. Don't click on the link and maybe it can be removed when Jen feels better. Get Well Soon. I hardly ever comment but absolutely love everything about this blog. SUCH a breath of fresh air! xx

    May 26, 2013
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  38. zee
    zee

    Ah, but Literary anaphylaxis' means Ana goes down in history.

    what we actually need is a sonic screwdriver, or the MIB memory device that's set to wipe all knowledge of fifty shades from everyone's minds. And another setting for Erika James so that she can barely remember her own effing name.

    May 26, 2013
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  39. Anonymous
    Anonymous

    I don't know if you've found it already, but I stumbled across a tumblr called 50 shades of red pen and it is hilarious! check it out! http://50shadesofredpen.tumblr.com

    May 26, 2013
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  40. Anonymous
    Anonymous

    First of all – Jenny, I'm really glad you're starting to feel better!

    Second – My first instinct was to type a giant “I CONCUR!!!” in response to zee's post, but then I thought of the Santayana quote about those who cannot remember the past. I think rather we need to ensure that future generations never forget the horror of this vile stain on the individual pages of literary, feminist, and sex-positive history. Maybe we could erect a monument in honor of Jenny and all those who have suffered at E.L. James' hands, and lay wreaths at it each year on the anniversary of the day Jenny started her recaps.

    May 26, 2013
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  41. Hope you feel better soon – don't poison yourself further with anything 50 Shades related until you're stronger! Those books should come with a health warning at the best of times.

    May 26, 2013
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  42. Zee: Ah, but we can apply to many different things. I got a mild case of literary anaphylaxis when I read Twilight (during the stalkery/abusive parts, mostly), though FSoG was by far the worst. A book-induced anaphylactic shock if I ever saw one.

    Anonymous: That is a wonderful idea. We should have some sort of internet memorial service too, like a video of all of us saying “Thank you, Jenny” or something like that.

    That said, I verily hope it turns out like that. It would be wonderful if FSoG turned out to be the Mein Kampf of our generation.

    May 26, 2013
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  43. zee
    zee

    I wet myself over the word-replace game. It's a shame she couldn't keep up with the different words for “down there” because that game was hilarious.

    And for the remainder of these recaps, I too will picture Ana as a pirate toilet. Argh!

    May 26, 2013
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    Anonymous

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    June 17, 2013
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