I haven’t done Wednesday blogging in a while. What can I say? I have commitment problems. But this Wednesday, I have the opportunity to tell you all about my favorite beauty products. So I’m about to.
Note: As I started writing this, I realized I started to fall in and out Sophie’s voice. Sophie’s entire personality is the part of me that cares deeply for indulgent goodies and stuff that paints up your face like a goddamn work of art.
The Perfect Red Lipstick
You know what I love about red lipstick? Even if you have no other makeup on, even if your hair is in a scrunchie you’ve had since 1991 and you haven’t showered in three days because your hot water heater is broken, red lipstick transforms you into a deity of pure, attractive badassitude. But finding the right red? Ha, good luck. But last fall, I found two amazing shades of red that look perfect on me.
Urban Decay’s “Mrs. Mia Wallace,” from their Pulp Fiction collection, and MAC’s “Viva Glam Rihanna 1.” One or both are always in my purse.
Eye Liner Pens
I will never use pencil or gel again. Whoever invented the eye liner pen, which is a very fine felt-tip marker with eye liner instead of ink. My favorite is Stila’s “Stay All Day” waterproof eyeliner.
I love to do cat eyes and wings, but when I was using gel, it was anyone’s guess how it would turn out, and pencil rubbed right off. This thing? This thing is pro. It’s not as dark as Urban Decay’s eyeliner pen, but I’ve always found that the Urban Decay pen gives you a very finite amount of time to do your lines, or it starts lifting as you overlap the color. This, you can go over and over the line until it’s just right, and it’s much easier to remove in case of mistakes.
Lush bubble bars leave your skin soft and smelling amazing. Also, lots and lots of bubbles, for taking bathtub selfies while you’re high and sending them to all of your friends.
Urban Decay’s Eyeshadow Primer Potion is the best primer I’ve ever used. If I fall into bed without taking my makeup off (i.e., every single time I wear makeup), my eyeshadow, eyeliner, it’s all still on, pretty much perfect when I wake up in the morning. It’s sorcery.
The only eyelash curler I’ve ever purchased that didn’t make me furious within four or five uses. Yay, Tarte!
Three Hundred Dollar Face Cream
Okay, let’s just establish that this is not something that I bought. It was given to me as a gift from a website I was writing for. And I will never, ever have it again:
This shit was something else. It made my face so tight, I thought I would never age. I used a spatula to get the very last dregs out of the jar. Because there is no way, even if I won the lottery, there is no fucking way I will ever, ever have any of this again. I could not even bring myself to spend that much money on it when I can get some off-brand Oil of Olay shit for nine bucks.
Wanna know what the other Wednesday bloggers picked as their favorites? Check out their entries: