Trout Nation Posts

Let’s do this the TL;DR way first, and if you have further questions, you can read on.

• Abigail Barnette is writing Fantasy Romance now
• It’s a brand new, interconnected series of stories with varying spice and plot scope, all set in a fantasy world called Fablemere.
• It’s starting out in serial format and the first book will be in paperback and e-book next year
• You can read the five chapter premiere on Ream, Patreon, or Kindle Vella on October 5
• New chapters will post every Tuesday and Thursday. (But no faster than that, because this is meticulously timed).
• You’ll be able to sign up for Ream and the new Patreon tier (both $3 USD per month) on October 1
• The first book is The Ogre’s Fairytale Bride. The protagonist is a fat, non-binary, over-forty human with epilepsy. BECAUSE I’VE EARNED THIS.
• The cover looks like this:

I’ve been busy for the past six or so months developing this project: writing, map-making, outlining seven books, watching nonstop fantasy movies from my childhood, and developing a business and release plan that will get this book in front of as many eyeballs as possible. This system will allow me to attract new Abigail Barnette readers, broaden my revenue stream, and serve readers multiple formats to choose from.

So… what the hell is Fablemere?

Fablemere is the fantasy world of our fairy tales, a setting with limitless potential for anything from monster romance to cozy fantasy love stories. Every story will be set in the world of Fablemere, featuring new characters and settings for readers to explore, each informed by today’s most popular fantasy romance tropes.

And, of course, all the scorching sex that Abigail Barnette is known for.

The first book, The Ogre’s Fairytale Bride, introduces us to the world of Fablemere through the eyes of Vanessa, a forty-something non-binary human who accidentally falls through the pages of an enchanted book. When she’s captured by ogres, her epilepsy is mistaken for a supernatural gift—one that the ruthless vampire, Baron Aerrax Scylas, would pay handsomely to exploit.

Vanessa finds a protector in Droguk, a gruff and grumpy ogre who’s just trying to support his widowed sister and two nieces and has no time for a human making outlandish claims about magical books. Although Vanessa and Droguk start out repulsed by each other, a grudging friendship eventually blossoms into an attraction they both struggle to deny. With her supply of crucial medication running out, they undertake a dangerous journey to save her life…and escape the Baron’s relentless pursuit.

If you enjoyed The 10th Kingdom, Labyrinth, Legends & Lattes, Once Upon A Time, or Bound to the Battle God, or you’ve just always wished that Inkheart and The Never-Ending Story were geared towards adults with filthy minds, you’re going to love the stories I have planned for Fablemere.*

*I wanted to add, “If you’ve ever jerked off to Fern Gully” to that list, but I thought better of it. Until I typed that just now.

As promised, I’m importing the A Court of Thorns and Roses recaps here from Patreon. These were originally written beginning in August of 2020, so there will be references to upcoming or seasonal events that won’t fit with our current timeline. I am not a time traveler and you’ll never be able to prove that I am. I will also include editors notes like this every now and then as we go, mostly to amuse myself but to give re-read value to those who’ve already been on this awful, awful journey with me.

You know that feeling when we’re reading this book and we’re like, damn, this could have been good? This is a whole chapter of that. Prepare yourself.

As promised, I’m importing the A Court of Thorns and Roses recaps here from Patreon. These were originally written beginning in August of 2020, so there will be references to upcoming or seasonal events that won’t fit with our current timeline. I am not a time traveler and you’ll never be able to prove that I am. I will also include editors notes like this every now and then as we go, mostly to amuse myself but to give re-read value to those who’ve already been on this awful, awful journey with me.

Okay. We gotta do this. We gotta rehash the last line of chapter twelve before we move forward because I read both chapters back-to-back in the same night and I laughed. Like, out loud. At a book.

That hardly ever happens.

The chapter hook was:

As promised, I’m importing the A Court of Thorns and Roses recaps here from Patreon. These were originally written beginning in August of 2020, so there will be references to upcoming or seasonal events that won’t fit with our current timeline. I am not a time traveler and you’ll never be able to prove that I am. I will also include editors notes like this every now and then as we go, mostly to amuse myself but to give re-read value to those who’ve already been on this awful, awful journey with me.

Yet again, this book both impresses and deeply disappoints me. There is nothing I loathe more than wasted potential. ed.—speaking of “wasted potential,” it appears that after much speculation and rumors of Maas’s difficulty behind the scenes, the ACOTAR television show may be dead. The post announcing the show has been removed from Maas’s Instagram. Thanks to Chel from the Jealous Patrons Discord channel for the hot tip.

As promised, I’m importing the A Court of Thorns and Roses recaps here from Patreon. These were originally written beginning in August of 2020, so there will be references to upcoming or seasonal events that won’t fit with our current timeline. I am not a time traveler and you’ll never be able to prove that I am. I will also include editors notes like this every now and then as we go, mostly to amuse myself but to give re-read value to those who’ve already been on this awful, awful journey with me.

As promised, I’m importing the A Court of Thorns and Roses recaps here from Patreon. These were originally written beginning in August of 2020, so there will be references to upcoming or seasonal events that won’t fit with our current timeline. I am not a time traveler and you’ll never be able to prove that I am. I will also include editors notes like this every now and then as we go, mostly to amuse myself but to give re-read value to those who’ve already been on this awful, awful journey with me.

We just left Feyre on an actually decent chapter hook, so I really did think that we’d come back to a chapter that started out like, “After my scary afternoon ride with Lucien, Alis bathed me again and here is the sumptuous outfit I turned down because I’m not like other girls and then we ate dinner.” But to my surprise, we actually do pick right back up in the action.

As promised, I’m importing the A Court of Thorns and Roses recaps here from Patreon. These were originally written beginning in August of 2020, so there will be references to upcoming or seasonal events that won’t fit with our current timeline. I am not a time traveler and you’ll never be able to prove that I am. I will also include editors notes like this every now and then as we go, mostly to amuse myself but to give re-read value to those who’ve already been on this awful, awful journey with me.

The prompt for this text window was “how’s your next thing coming?” and like, you’re gonna have to be more specific, Patreon. This is the year of Chaotic Creation and I have my fingers in so many pies at the moment.

But I’ll never forget my true passion, reading really popular books and becoming so increasingly disillusioned about the publishing industry that I am slowly turning into a chestnut.

As promised, I’m importing the A Court of Thorns and Roses recaps here from Patreon. These were originally written beginning in August of 2020, so there will be references to upcoming or seasonal events that won’t fit with our current timeline. I am not a time traveler and you’ll never be able to prove that I am. I will also include editors notes like this every now and then as we go, mostly to amuse myself but to give re-read value to those who’ve already been on this awful, awful journey with me.

The prompt that showed up in the text window here? It was “What’re you thinking about?” Leaving aside how weirdly informal that contraction is (we’re not bros, Patreon blog post composition window. This is a work thing only), the thing I’m thinking about is how frustrating this book is.

As promised, I’m importing the A Court of Thorns and Roses recaps here from Patreon. These were originally written beginning in August of 2020, so there will be references to upcoming or seasonal events that won’t fit with our current timeline. I am not a time traveler and you’ll never be able to prove that I am. I will also include editors notes like this every now and then as we go, mostly to amuse myself but to give re-read value to those who’ve already been on this awful, awful journey with me.

As promised, I’m importing the A Court of Thorns and Roses recaps here from Patreon. These were originally written beginning in August of 2020, so there will be references to upcoming or seasonal events that won’t fit with our current timeline. I am not a time traveler and you’ll never be able to prove that I am. I will also include editors notes like this every now and then as we go, mostly to amuse myself but to give re-read value to those who’ve already been on this awful, awful journey with me.

CW: disordered eating thoughts, ableism

Hey there, readers. If you were imagining a fantastic world ruled by magical, beautiful beings, what would it look like?