{"id":10378,"date":"2016-05-30T13:03:42","date_gmt":"2016-05-30T17:03:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=10378"},"modified":"2016-05-30T13:03:42","modified_gmt":"2016-05-30T17:03:42","slug":"first-chapter-preview-second-chance-ians-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=10378","title":{"rendered":"FIRST CHAPTER PREVIEW: Second Chance (Ian’s Story)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Second Chance<\/em> is just hours away at this point, so it seems only fair to let you get a head start on your reading. Here’s chapter one of Ian’s story, in its entirety.\u00a0Second Chance<\/em> will be available on Amazon and Smashwords tomorrow, all other retailers, paperback, and audio coming soon.<\/p>\n

\"Second<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Chapter One<\/p>\n

\u00a0There\u2019s no written rule when it comes to tragedy. It can occur at any time. On a normal day, when you\u2019re just having a pint down the pub and timing out your hangover so it doesn\u2019t strike while you\u2019re working that night. Or at a black tie function in glitzy Manhattan high rise with tragically ugly stairs\u2014 which was what had happened to my friend Neil Elwood.<\/p>\n

My girlfriend, Penny, walked beside me as we trudged through the blowing, now-ankle-deep snow on our way to the parking garage. Well, I called her my girlfriend, but we\u2019d spent the past hour rushing about, collecting things Neil and his wife might need as they waited at the hospital after his daughter\u2019s horrific car accident. Penny and I hadn\u2019t really had time to go over the particulars of our newly reconciled relationship.<\/p>\n

I glanced down at her wet, red toes peeking out from her complicated silver heels. She\u2019d get frostbite soon if we didn\u2019t get her inside.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s go to your place,\u201d I suggested, putting my arm around her shoulders to draw her under my coat. She had a long wool one on, but beneath it, just a strapless black evening gown with a long slit up the back. She wasn\u2019t dressed for traipsing all over New York in a snowstorm.<\/p>\n

She nodded and leaned closer, but didn\u2019t speak until we got into the car. Her teeth chattered. \u201cAre you going to stay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought I might. Rather than risk the drive.\u201d In light of what had just happened to Neil\u2019s daughter\u2014and her husband, the poor bastard\u2014it seemed the safest choice.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood.\u201d She stared straight ahead as we pulled out. \u201cI don\u2019t want you to go anywhere tonight. Not without me.\u201d<\/p>\n

We drove to her place in silence, and I parked on the street, content that tonight, at least, there was no danger of anyone stealing my car. I\u2019d never stolen cars for a living, but I assumed inclement weather had some effect on a successful outcome.<\/p>\n

In the lobby of her building, I checked my watch. Was it really only half past midnight? It seemed like it should be a quarter to next Thursday. I certainly felt as though we\u2019d been awake for five days. The whiplash from elation at my reconciliation with Penny to my horror at Neil\u2019s current nightmare had sapped all the strength from me. And while I wished I could concentrate on the former, the latter had seized my brain the way the cold would seize the engine of my car in the morning.<\/p>\n

I trudged up the stairs after Penny. Her twenty-three-year-old legs could handle living in a fourth floor walkup. My middle-aged body had already been through the wringer tonight, and I found myself lagging farther behind, weighed down by my thoughts. I\u2019d known Neil\u2019s daughter, Emma, since she\u2019d been born. For fuck\u2019s sake, he\u2019d come to me, drunk and crying, the night he\u2019d found out he\u2019d gotten Valerie pregnant. He\u2019d proved himself an incredible father, though Emma had still grown up with her mother\u2019s spitfire temper and withering condescension. Somehow, Emma had made them likeable traits.<\/p>\n

\u201cIan?\u201d Penny asked from the top of the stairs. The sickly fluorescent lighting of the hallway deepened the circles beneath her eyes. \u201cAre you okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Doll,\u201d I answered her honestly. \u201cBut I will be. Especially once we get you warmed up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry about me,\u201d she said softly as she unlocked her door. \u201cWorry about Neil and Sophie.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI will, I swear,\u201d I promised as we stepped into her tiny apartment. \u201cBut let me worry about you for a bit, as a distraction.\u201d<\/p>\n

Penny\u2019s roommate, Rosa, sat on the sofa, her dark hair piled on top of her head in one of those massive loops of hair universal among women. She frowned when we entered, and my first thought was, that\u2019s quite rude<\/em>, until I remembered the last time she\u2019d seen Penny, we\u2019d been thoroughly broken up.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s he doing here?\u201d she demanded, fixing Penny with a cold, demanding stare.<\/p>\n

Penny shrugged off her coat, and I caught it for her. \u201cIt\u2019s a long story.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCondense it for me.\u201d Rosa\u2019s gaze flicked to me, her eyes narrowing for a moment. \u201cBecause the last time we talked about him, you two weren\u2019t a thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, now, we\u2019re a thing again,\u201d Penny said wearily. \u201cLike I said, it\u2019s a long story. I promise I\u2019ll tell you every detail once he\u2019s not around and it\u2019s not so awkward. But right now, I\u2019m exhausted.\u201d<\/p>\n

Christ, I\u2019m right here. Can they not see me standing next to this conversation?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHer boss\u2019s family was dealt a blow tonight. Penny had to deliver some clothes to the hospital for them.\u201d I tried not to be confrontational; after all, Rosa only wanted to protect Penny, a feeling I understood well enough. But Penny was emotionally and physically drained. She needed space, and I would see that she got it.<\/p>\n

Rosa\u2019s expression softened, but not by much. \u201cI did think it was a little early.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt definitely doesn\u2019t feel<\/em> early,\u201d Penny groaned, kicking off her shoes. \u201cAnd I definitely can\u2019t feel my toes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, let\u2019s get you into a hot shower to warm up.\u201d I sounded like my sister, bossing people around for their own good<\/em>, but in this case, it was very much for Penny\u2019s own good. Hot water chased off cold chills. And if she disagreed with me, I\u2019d just tell her that it was an old Scottish wives\u2019 tale. She\u2019d feel like she had to do it or risk offending me.<\/p>\n

But she offered no resistance. \u201cOkay. Let me get my bathrobe, though. And you can put your coat in my room.\u201d<\/p>\n

Penny\u2019s bedroom was barely large enough for the both of us to stand in at the same time. Her bed was a full-size, tiny in comparison to the huge, comfortable California king at my place. When she clicked on the wall switch, hundreds of fairy lights illuminated the space in a ring around the ceiling. None of the furniture matched, and most of her life\u2019s possessions were crowded into plastic bins. Her bathrobe lay across her unmade bed. She leaned down to straighten the covers. If her face wasn\u2019t so cold and windburned, I assumed she would be blushing.<\/p>\n

\u201cStop,\u201d I admonished her gently. \u201cI\u2019m not going to judge your cleanliness. I\u2019m just glad to be here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah?\u201d Her bottom lip trembled as she looked up at me. \u201cYou are?\u201d<\/p>\n

I had to kiss her. I couldn\u2019t help myself. I\u2019d never be able to kiss her enough to make up for our long separation. I leaned down to meet her sweet, soft mouth with my lips, and she gripped the sleeves of my coat for balance.<\/p>\n

Our breakup had been stupid. There was no other way to describe it. Penny and I belonged together, despite all of our differences. She was younger than me, by a lot. Thirty years, unbelievably. My life and career were stable and successful, while hers were just starting out. She still saw the world ahead of her as endless and full of possibility, while I spent my days mostly worrying that I\u2019d grown a suspicious mole I hadn\u2019t noticed, yet. But none of those differences mattered when she was in my arms.<\/p>\n

She pulled back, her eyes on mine. \u201cI don\u2019t ever want to break up again. I don\u2019t want to lose you. Not when it\u2019s so easy to lose people we love.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not going anywhere.\u201d I couldn\u2019t guarantee that, but neither could she, so it wasn\u2019t worth mentioning. \u201cGo get in the shower.\u201d<\/p>\n

She turned and nodded over her shoulder. \u201cUnzip me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWith pleasure.\u201d Despite all we\u2019d been through tonight\u2014and the fact that I\u2019d nearly put my back out fucking her on a conference room table only hours before\u2014the thought of getting my hands on her naked skin managed to distract me from my gloom. I pulled down the tab slowly, watching in fascination as every inch of her skin was revealed. The black lace of her strapless bra was flimsy enough I could see the tan skin beneath. The gown fell away, and she shimmied it down her hips, totally oblivious to how sexy she was, even when she didn\u2019t intend to be.<\/p>\n

She popped the hooks on the back of her bra and groaned in relief, tossing it to the floor. \u201cThat thing is evil.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see that,\u201d I murmured in sympathy, tracing the long, red impression the band had left in her skin. \u201cWhenever you\u2019re in need of rescuing from one of those terrible devices, call upon me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Though she was tired, she laughed. I hadn\u2019t realized how much I\u2019d missed that sound.<\/p>\n

She grabbed her bathrobe, and I got the briefest glimpse of her gorgeous breasts as she pulled it on. Tying the belt, she turned to me with a lopsided smile. \u201cYou can ogle me later. Right now, I just want to get feeling back in my feet.\u201d<\/p>\n

I kissed her forehead. \u201cGo on. If you need any help, just give a shout.\u201d<\/p>\n

While I would have loved to get into that shower with her, to worship every wet, naked inch of her body, the night had been too long and fraught with emotion. I didn\u2019t have the energy, so it was better to wait until I could do it properly. I\u2019d plead inclement weather as an excuse to skip mass in the morning, and spend the time burrowed under the covers with Penny in her cold little room, instead.<\/p>\n

Rosa still sat on the sofa, trying very obviously to eavesdrop without being very obvious about her eavesdropping. As Penny went off to the shower, I sat on the other end of the couch and pretended, momentarily, to be interested in the animated comedy on the television.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs this Family Guy<\/em>?\u201d I asked, feeling woefully out of touch.<\/p>\n

\u201cAmerican Dad!<\/em>,\u201d she responded, never taking her eyes from the screen.<\/p>\n

My bow tie hung, untied, around my neck, and I slipped it free. Though I hadn\u2019t noticed its presence, I somehow felt more relaxed with it off. \u201cI suppose you want an explanation, and you\u2019ll be angry with me until you get it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYup.\u201d<\/p>\n

I folded the tie in my hands, then unfolded it again as I spoke. \u201cI\u2019m sure Penny will tell you what happened, and I\u2019ll let her fill you in on the more specific details. There was a miscommunication\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLies do not equal miscommunication,\u201d she interrupted.<\/p>\n

\u201cTrue. And I did lie. But I didn\u2019t lie to Penny.\u201d Why was I justifying my actions to a stranger? A condescending twenty-something stranger, at that?<\/p>\n

Because you love Penny, you idiot. You love her, and you want the people she loves to believe that, too.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI lied to my sister,\u201d I admitted. \u201cAbout why I got divorced. There are various personal reasons behind that. But I never cheated on Penny, and I never lied to her. I can\u2019t say I won\u2019t hurt her again. I don\u2019t know if I will. But if I do, I know for a fact that it will be an accident, just like I know for a fact that it will take you a long time to believe that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Rosa finally looked at me, with far less anger than she\u2019d displayed when we\u2019d first arrived. \u201cShe was really messed up, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI do. But in fairness, I was pretty messed up, myself.\u201d The day we\u2019d broken up, Thanksgiving Day, had been brutal. One minute, I\u2019d considered Penny a near-permanent part of my life. The next, she\u2019d cut me off completely, and all because I\u2019d been too stupid and protective of my ex-wife to tell my family the truth of why my marriage had ended.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, you sound like a mess,\u201d she agreed. \u201cBut I do believe that you love her. She played those voicemails for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is supposed to be the moment I get embarrassed, isn\u2019t it? I\u2019m not. I would have broadcast those pathetic messages in Times Square to get her back, if I had to.\u201d I looked forward to a time when the mention of the separation didn\u2019t mimic the symptoms of cardiac arrest. Tonight, when so much seemed uncertain, I didn\u2019t foresee that panic fading.<\/p>\n

Rosa tilted her head, as though she were appraising a fine painting or reading a particularly confusing subway diagram. \u201cI think you might be a good guy, Ian. But Penny trusts a lot of guys who look good on paper, but aren\u2019t so great in practice.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOn paper, I\u2019m a fifty-three-year-old divorced man who until a couple of months ago ate peanut butter off plastic spoons for most of his evening meals.\u201d There was no chance Penny hadn\u2019t mentioned the peanut butter.<\/p>\n

Rosa didn\u2019t look surprised at all by my admission, confirming my suspicion. \u201cYeah, and you waited for her. Not as long as some guys\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t.\u201d I couldn\u2019t stand to hear myself held to such a low standard. \u201cDon\u2019t give me credit for that. It wasn\u2019t a heroic feat to respect her.\u201d<\/p>\n

A smile curved Rosa\u2019s mouth, though it was certainly a reluctant expression. \u201cFair enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

The conversation actually felt as though we\u2019d made some headway toward her not hating me. I didn\u2019t want to fuck it up, so I gestured to the television. \u201cSo, can you explain to me why that fish is talking?\u201d<\/p>\n

By the end of the episode\u2014which, I had to admit, did contain briefly clever moments\u2014Penny emerged from the bathroom, looking a lot more like herself. She\u2019d been stunning tonight, with her short blonde bob combed back in stiff waves and her body encased by a tight sheath of velvet. She looked just as stunning in her bathrobe, with wet hair and dark streaks near her eyes where her mascara hadn\u2019t washed completely off.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you want to go to bed?\u201d she asked, and it was more of a command than a question.<\/p>\n

Not that I needed to be told. \u201cYes, before I pass out and fall over on your roommate.\u201d<\/p>\n

I followed her into her room shut the door behind us. Rosa bid us goodnight just before it closed.<\/p>\n

Penny stepped up close and ran her hands over the front of my shirt then over my shoulders and down my sleeves, to where I\u2019d rolled them up my forearms. \u201cGuys in tuxes aren\u2019t nearly as hot as guys who\u2019re half out of their tuxes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, if you see a hot guy half out of a tuxedo, let me know, and I\u2019ll chase him off.\u201d I didn\u2019t want her to make assumptions about what I planned to do in her bed. \u201cRight now, I\u2019m about to get fully out of mine and into your bed. For sleep, only.\u201d<\/p>\n

She sighed, but smiled. \u201cYeah. It\u2019s kind of hard to be in the mood <\/em>with everything that\u2019s going on.\u201d<\/p>\n

I could have pointed out that it was hard to be in the mood when you\u2019re fifty-three and you just had vigorous sex a few hours before, but it bothered her when I pointed out our age difference. I wasn\u2019t about to rekindle our relationship, then immediately slide back into one of the behaviors that had ended it in the first place.<\/p>\n

But when Penny dropped her robe to the floor, I wished I were a much younger man.<\/p>\n

She got under the blankets and tried to rearrange them as I undressed. \u201cSorry, it\u2019s not like I\u2019ve been sharing the covers a lot lately.\u201d<\/p>\n

A lot?<\/em> My stomach turned over. We\u2019d been broken up for over a month, and it wasn\u2019t as though she\u2019d been under any obligation to remain celibate. \u201cOh, not a lot?\u201d I tried to laugh, but it had a difficult time making its way past the lump in my throat.<\/p>\n

She looked up from tucking the blanket under her chest and froze in confusion.<\/p>\n

God, but this was embarrassing. I cleared my throat. \u201cRight. It was a bad joke. Obviously, if you had\u2026you know\u2026 If you\u2019d, well\u2026 It wouldn\u2019t change anything. We weren\u2019t together, and\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIan, it was just something I said without thinking,\u201d she assured me quietly. \u201cWe were only broken up for, like, six weeks. I didn\u2019t sleep with anybody else.\u201d<\/p>\n

I let out a long exhale of relief. \u201cGood. Not that it would have mattered. You weren\u2019t beholden to me to not sleep with anyone else. But you said \u2018a lot\u2019, and that led me to believe\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you sleep with someone else?\u201d Her voice had a sharp edge to it. Our breakup had been motivated largely on Penny\u2019s fear that I would be unfaithful. Her ex-boyfriend had cheated on her, and the experience had shaken her. While it wouldn\u2019t have been cheating if I\u2019d slept with someone else\u2014Penny and I had been broken up, after all\u2014it would have shattered her trust in me.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d never been happier to have not gotten laid.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d I watched her uncertainty turn to relief. \u201cI couldn\u2019t think of anyone but you. I was half a person while we were apart.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were a whole person.\u201d She drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. \u201cYou were just a hurt whole person.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo were you.\u201d I got into bed beside her. She slid down to lie against me and rested her head on my shoulder. We\u2019d been apart for weeks, but she fit into the crook of my arm as though she\u2019d never left.<\/p>\n

\u201cI got your voicemails.\u201d She idly pushed her fingers through my chest hair, the way she\u2019d done countless times before when we\u2019d lain sleepy and entwined in bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know you did. Rosa said you played them for her.\u201d Now, the embarrassment set in. \u201cAnd I know they were pathetic, and bordering on harassment.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI forgive you.\u201d She snuggled her face into my armpit. \u201cI missed the way you smell.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat disturbs me. But if it makes you happy, who am I to judge?\u201d<\/p>\n

We didn\u2019t say anything else. Maybe there was nothing to say. That seemed unlikely, considering how abrupt both our breakup and our reunion had been. But perhaps tonight wasn\u2019t the night to work through whatever residual issues we had left. Tonight, I would hold her and stroke her back and try to get some sleep while worry for my friend still gripped my mind.<\/p>\n

Shortly after three, my phone\u2019s screen lit up, the generic ringtone startling me from my doze. At some point, Penny had rolled onto her side, and she still snored away. I blinked at the phone and tried to make out the name on the display.<\/p>\n

Oh, no.<\/em><\/p>\n

No phone call this late could be good news.<\/p>\n

My hand trembled as I slid my finger across the screen to answer. \u201cEverything\u2019s okay, yeah?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. Everything is\u2026\u201d Sophie said, her voice a raw wound.<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, Christ.\u201d I closed my eyes. I\u2019d heard what she hadn\u2019t said. This is going to kill Neil.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cCan I just talk to Penny, please?\u201d She\u2019d rightly guessed we would be together.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure thing.\u201d I reached for Penny and shook her shoulder, and she startled awake, blinking at me in the glow of the fairy lights. I whispered, \u201cWake up, Doll,\u201d and handed her the phone.<\/p>\n

God, but she was breathtaking, even sleepy and confused.<\/p>\n

And fragile.<\/em> Emma was so young. So young and, judging from the horrified expression on Penny\u2019s face as she said, \u201cOh, no,\u201d gone from this world. In a single, horrible night, Emma had been taken. Her youth had been no protection against death.<\/p>\n

It could happen to Penny.<\/em><\/p>\n

Technically, it could happen to anyone. I knew that painfully well. It could happen to both of us as we sat in bed. A gas main could explode, or the ceiling could cave in on us. I supposed it would be all right if I died; I\u2019d had more life than some, and I didn\u2019t fear what came after. But I didn\u2019t want it to happen to Penny.<\/p>\n

She finished her call with Sophie and handed me my phone. \u201cIan\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know.\u201d I hated that I knew. I hated that it had happened. I hated that my friends would go through unimaginable pain, and I hated that I was powerless to do anything about it. The uncontrollable finality of death gripped me in a cold sweat.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe should get married.\u201d<\/p>\n

It took me a moment to realize I\u2019d just said those words. But I didn\u2019t regret them one iota.<\/p>\n

Penny\u2019s eyes grew wide, and she blinked slowly. \u201cUm\u2026maybe now isn\u2019t the best time to talk about something like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a great time,\u201d I insisted, because I was clearly out of my mind. What the fuck<\/em> was I doing? I hadn\u2019t read any guidebooks on the subject, but I assumed a freshly divorced person shouldn\u2019t run out and immediately remarry to a woman he\u2019d known for less than six months.<\/p>\n

The fact that I wasn\u2019t frightened at all was cause for serious worry, as well. But nothing could deter me. Proposing might be foolish, but it was right; I knew that beneath all the conventional wisdom. \u201cWe want to start our lives together, yeah?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, yeah, of course. But I don\u2019t\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen, let\u2019s go,\u201d I urged. If she had the good sense to turn me down, I would either be happy, or devastated, I couldn\u2019t tell. \u201cOn Monday, let\u2019s go to City Hall and get married.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026I can\u2019t. I have to work. With all of this, Sophie is going to need me to handle a lot of stuff for her.\u201d<\/p>\n

I took Penny\u2019s hands in mine. \u201cWe\u2019ll go on our lunch hour.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her hesitant smile grew into a full grin. Despite her smudged makeup and the crease lines from her pillowcase, my ribs ached at her utter perfection.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is really stupid,\u201d she warned me. \u201cAnd it\u2019s not the way I ever expected this to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

Of course. How had I been so thick? Penny had never been married before. She\u2019d never gotten the chance to have the wedding every woman dreams of, or at least what popular culture insisted they should. Penny had been a twenty-two-year-old virgin when we\u2019d met, so to say there was a touch of the traditional about her would be a fairly large understatement.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou want the dress and the flowers and the cake.\u201d I dropped my head in shame. \u201cI\u2019m sorry. This was selfish of me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t say no.\u201d<\/p>\n

I looked up. The single, bashful dimple in her cheek deepened as her gaze met mine. \u201cI just meant that you haven\u2019t really proposed to me properly. \u2018Let\u2019s get married\u2019 is nice and all, but if we\u2019re not going to do the dress and the flowers and the cake, I at least need you to take a knee.\u201d<\/p>\n

That would be the one tradition she would adhere to<\/em>, I moaned in my head as I pushed back the blankets. Kneeling on her arctic floor would be unpleasant enough, but I also had to suffer the embarrassment of trying to stand up again. This is for true love, you bastard. It\u2019s not too much to ask. Get on down there and make her want to be your wife.<\/em><\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t even have a ring.<\/p>\n

The floor was a slap of ice when it met my bare knee. Proposing in boxer shorts hardly seemed like the most romantic thing I would ever do for Penny, but her eyes glittered in the light as though Mr. Darcy himself knelt before her.<\/p>\n

I wished I hadn\u2019t thought of that prick. He\u2019d set the bar too high for all of us.<\/p>\n

I reached for Penny\u2019s hand, and she slipped it into mine gladly. I exhaled sharply, paused to psych myself up, and said, \u201cPenelope Parker. Will you\u2026\u201d What, spend the rest of her life with me? I hoped it wasn\u2019t the rest of her life, or it would be tragically short. We were thirty years apart, for Christ\u2019s sake. \u201cWill you be mine for the rest of my life?\u201d<\/p>\n

She squeezed my hand and nodded. \u201cYes, Ian Pratchett, I will be yours for the rest of both of our lives.\u201d<\/p>\n

Suddenly, neither of us were as tired as we were before. When I climbed back onto the bed\u2014with more grace and less difficulty than I\u2019d expected, thanks to whichever saint handles nearly-nude marriage proposals\u2014I moved over her until she lay across the bed, trapped beneath me.<\/p>\n

\u201cAm I a bad person for being intensely happy, right now?\u201d she whispered, reaching up to lay one hand against my cheek.<\/p>\n

I turned my face to kiss her palm. \u201cAm I a bad person for being intensely horny, right now?\u201d<\/p>\n

She shook her head a little. \u201cPeople respond to tragedy in all kinds of weird ways.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd people generally respond to a new engagement with happiness,\u201d I reminded her. I would be damned if she\u2019d feel guilty for enjoying the one good thing that had happened all night. Well, that, \u201cAnd getting back together with a person they loved very much and from whom they were separated, that\u2019s a cause for happiness, too.\u201d I paused. \u201cYou did love me very much, didn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I do<\/em> love you very much. And I will<\/em> love you very much.\u201d She lifted her head, closing the gap between our mouths all the way. Then, she drew back. \u201cBut not in a physical sense again tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI understand.\u201d I kissed the tip of her nose, then rolled off her. She wiggled up to the pillows and fumbled between the bed and the wall to pull the plug and kill the fairy lights. Faint orange glowed dimly through the window, and in it, I could make out the shape of her ear, the slope of her neck, the curve of her waist. Things I\u2019d thought I\u2019d remembered, but which looked so different now that I actually had her there with me. What else had I forgotten about her in that short time? The terror of how fleeting a memory truly was squeezed my chest. There would come a day that she forgot something about me, as well.<\/p>\n

I spooned up behind her, an arm over her waist, burning an indelible impression of her body, how it felt next to mine, into my senses.<\/p>\n

\u201cKeep holding me?\u201d she asked plaintively, one hand clutching my forearm tighter.<\/p>\n

I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of her hair. \u201cAlways.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Second Chance is just hours away at this point, so it seems only fair to let you get a head start on your reading. Here’s<\/p>\n

Read moreFIRST CHAPTER PREVIEW: Second Chance (Ian’s Story)<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10378"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10378"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10378\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10379,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10378\/revisions\/10379"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10378"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10378"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10378"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}