FADE IN:<\/p>\n
INT. TEENAGER’S BEDROOM, MORNING.<\/p>\n
TEENAGER, a spindly, awkward young blond boy, sleeps open-mouthedly\u00a0in a puddle of his own drool. He is cocooned in several blankets like a sweet baby angel, if sweet baby angels lived inside burritos. He is awakened by\u00a0his mother, JENNY TROUT, who takes particular delight in this morning ritual.<\/p>\n
Jenny kicks the door open.<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nWake up, Assbutt! The Cubs won the World Series!<\/p>\n
TEENAGER
\n[groggily]
\nWhat?<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nThe Cubs won the World Series. For the first time in a hundred and eight years.<\/p>\n
TEENAGER
\nWhat is that?<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nThe Cubs? The Chicago Cubs?<\/p>\n
TEENAGER
\nWhat the fuck is a Chicago cup?<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nNot the cup, the World Series.<\/p>\n
TEENAGER
\nNo, you said Chicago cup.<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nThe Chicago Cubs.<\/p>\n
TEENAGER
\nWhat time is it?<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nIt’s a big deal. It’s been a hundred and eight years, dude. Everybody is psyched.<\/p>\n
TEENAGER
\nI don’t even know what a Chicago cup is!<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nIt’s baseball! The Chicago Cubs are a baseball team.<\/p>\n
TEENAGER
\n[angrily]
\nGood for them!<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nWait, do you seriously not know what the World Series is?<\/p>\n
TEENAGER
\nNo. I seriously do not care.<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nOh. Well, it’s time to get up. And something stinks in here.<\/p>\n
FADE OUT.<\/p>\n
THE END<\/span><\/p>\n Congratulations to all my Cubs fan friends out there! Hollywood couldn’t have written a better, more dramatic ball game than the curse-breaker you got last night.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" FADE IN: INT. TEENAGER’S BEDROOM, MORNING. TEENAGER, a spindly, awkward young blond boy, sleeps open-mouthedly\u00a0in a puddle of his own drool. He is cocooned in…<\/p>\n