{"id":11501,"date":"2017-07-18T12:45:12","date_gmt":"2017-07-18T16:45:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=11501"},"modified":"2017-07-18T12:45:12","modified_gmt":"2017-07-18T16:45:12","slug":"balloon-animals-an-interlude","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=11501","title":{"rendered":"Balloon Animals: An Interlude"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>FADE IN<\/p>\n<p>INT. BEDROOM, DAY.<\/p>\n<p>JENNY TROUT lounges on her bed, pondering all the vast scope of the cosmos within. Also, she&#8217;s recently smoked marijuana. Her husband, MR. JEN, sits annoyedly beside her, trying to watch a television show.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">JENNY<br \/>\nYou know what would be an amazing job? If you could make those balloon animals.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Mr. Jen doesn&#8217;t not answer or acknowledge her.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">JENNY<br \/>\nJust think about it. That business is all profit. You can buy a bag of those balloons for like, a dollar. Then you sell, what, you make swords and flowers? And you go, okay, this sword is two-fifty. Or two dollars. You sell just one and that&#8217;s it. It&#8217;s pure profit from one sword or whatever. There&#8217;s practically no overhead. All you have you have to do is learn to make those balloon swords and animals.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Mr. Jen sighs heavily. The volume of the television rises, not subtly.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">JENNY<br \/>\nThere&#8217;s no overhead. I would do that.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">MR. JEN<br \/>\nYou&#8217;re terrified of balloons.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">JENNY<br \/>\nIf I wasn&#8217;t afraid of balloons. I would do it if I wasn&#8217;t afraid of balloons.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">During a lengthy pause in the conversation, Mr. Jen visibly relaxes, trying to enjoy his show.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">JENNY<br \/>\nThere&#8217;s no overhead.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Mr. Jen has finally had it.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">MR. JEN<br \/>\nThere&#8217;s your time! You&#8217;re losing your time!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">JENNY<br \/>\nRight, but that&#8217;s any job. And you&#8217;d be making ninety percent profit.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">MR. JEN<br \/>\nExcept for the alcohol.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">JENNY<br \/>\nWhat alcohol?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">MR. JEN<br \/>\nAll the alcohol I&#8217;d have to drink to cope with that fact that your job is selling balloon animals!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\">[FADE OUT]<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">THE END<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>FADE IN INT. BEDROOM, DAY. JENNY TROUT lounges on her bed, pondering all the vast scope of the cosmos within. Also, she&#8217;s recently smoked marijuana.&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"more-link-wrapper\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=11501\">Read more<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Balloon Animals: An Interlude<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11501"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11501"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11501\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11502,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11501\/revisions\/11502"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11501"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11501"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11501"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}