FADE IN
\nINT: BEDROOM – DAY<\/p>\n
MR. JEN and JENNY are in bed, watching television. Jenny is a beautiful cougar aging like expensive cheese. Mr. Jen should have been nicer to her in the following conversation, but he doesn’t appreciate her descriptive flare so he can suck it. He can suck the whole thing.<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nUgh. I hurt. Like, I hurt so bad that I feel like I should be lying in one of those big beds with the thick wooden posts and the canopies… Like when you see someone and they’re laying on all the pillows, they’re kind of propped up? And then they’re like, [wheezing voice] “Bring me my eldest son.”<\/p>\n
MR. JEN
\nEldest son?<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nAnd then the son comes in and [wheezing voice] “My son. You have a great responsibility now. The kingdom relies on you.”<\/p>\n
MR. JEN
\nWait. Are you\u2013 are you a king in this scenario?<\/p>\n
JENNY
\n(continuing in wheezing voice)
\n“It is a great burden that you must bear.”<\/p>\n
MR. JEN
\nWhat are you talking about?<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nYeah, I’m a king. I’m the king, I’m propped up on the pillows and I’m dying. That’s how I feel right now.<\/p>\n
MR. JEN
\n[BEAT] Why do you have to be so dramatic?<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nBecause I am describing it at you. I’m describing at you how bad I feel right now.<\/p>\n
MR. JEN
\nBut why are you a king? Why aren’t you just on your deathbed?<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nI am on my deathbed! I think I made it pretty clear that this is a king on his deathbed.<\/p>\n
MR. JEN
\nBut why did you have to pick a king?<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nWho else was I going to pick to convey that image?<\/p>\n
MR. JEN
\nLiterally anyone!<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nBut it only works if I describe it well! That’s my job. I describe situations and I make people feel ways about them!<\/p>\n
MR. JEN
\nI know that but you don’t write it that ridiculous.<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nEverything I write is ridiculous!<\/p>\n
There is a long pause. Jenny arranges the pillows carefully behind her, mimicking the pose of a dying king in a movie.<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nI feel like I’m being stabbed in the shoulder by some kind of powerful warrior.<\/p>\n
MR. JEN
\nOh my god.<\/p>\n
FADE OUT
\nFIN<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
FADE IN INT: BEDROOM – DAY MR. JEN and JENNY are in bed, watching television. Jenny is a beautiful cougar aging like expensive cheese. Mr.…<\/p>\n