FADE IN<\/p>\n
INTERIOR – BEDROOM – NIGHT. JENNY has just watched footage of Chris Evans helping Regina King balance so she wouldn’t trip on her dress while accepting her Oscar.<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nWould you have sex with Chris Evans?<\/p>\n
Mr. Jen shakes his head and doesn’t look up from his phone.<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nBut why not?<\/p>\n
MR. JEN
\nBecause I don\u2019t like men. I don\u2019t think of men sexually.<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nOkay, but. How?<\/p>\n
MR. JEN
\nWhat do you mean how?<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nHow do you not like dudes?<\/p>\n
MR. JEN
\nThey just do nothing for me.<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nWhat if you had to?<\/p>\n
MR. JEN
\nWhy would I have to?<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nThe world will end! You would have sex with Chris Evans to stop the world from ending.<\/p>\n
MR.JEN
\nWhy is the world ending?<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nWhy don\u2019t you find Chris Evans hot?<\/p>\n
MR. JEN
\nBecause I\u2019m straight!<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nHow? I can\u2019t get my melon around this! How does that even work?<\/p>\n
MR.JEN
\nIt\u2019s just how it is. Imagine someone you would never have sex with.<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nOkay.<\/p>\n
MR.JEN
\nThat\u2019s what it\u2019s like.<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nSo for you…having sex with Chris Evans would be like me having sex with Rush Limbaugh?<\/p>\n
MR. JEN
\nDon’t be disgusting. Chris Evans is not Rush Limbaugh.<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nSo, you would have sex with Chris Evans.<\/p>\n
Mr. Jen sighs deeply. A long silence follows.<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nLet\u2019s say you got a cold or something. The gay cold. That made you gay.<\/p>\n
MR. JEN
\nA gay cold.<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nYeah. You got a cold and now you’re gay. Who are your top five?<\/p>\n
MR. JEN
\nIt\u2019s five now?<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nNo, just who would be in your top five. Look, we can make this the bi flu. I’ll meet you halfway here.<\/p>\n
MR. JEN
\nI thought bi doesn\u2019t mean halfway.<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nWork with me! So, you have the bi flu\u2013<\/p>\n
MR. JEN
\nI would still have sex with the girls!<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nBut why<\/p>\n
MR. JEN
\nImagine having sex with one of your friends.<\/p>\n
Jenny visibly tries to imagine such a scenario.<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nOh. Ew.<\/p>\n
MR. JEN
\nThat\u2019s what it\u2019s like to not be sexually attracted to someone. I just am not interested in sex with guys.<\/p>\n
JENNY
\nOkay…but not even Chris Evans?<\/p>\n
FADE OUT.<\/p>\n
THE END<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" FADE IN INTERIOR – BEDROOM – NIGHT. JENNY has just watched footage of Chris Evans helping Regina King balance so she wouldn’t trip on her…<\/p>\n