{"id":12624,"date":"2019-05-07T22:48:36","date_gmt":"2019-05-08T02:48:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=12624"},"modified":"2019-05-07T22:48:36","modified_gmt":"2019-05-08T02:48:36","slug":"jealous-haters-book-club-the-mister-chapter-13-or-are-you-going-to-start-a-secret-smelting-company-too","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=12624","title":{"rendered":"Jealous Haters Book Club: The Mister, chapter 13 or “Are you going to start a secret smelting company, too?”"},"content":{"rendered":"

In news directly from the mouth of hell, E.L. James has coyly teased that she may or may not write a BDSM novel featuring gay men as the central couple.<\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

[…]James says she\u2019s been swamped with fans begging for her to write a book that features gay men.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Who are these fans? Turn on your location. I just want to talk.<\/p>\n

And it\u2019s not just men asking her to pen the erotica, women are writing in and asking for some man-on-man action too.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I highly doubt it’s\u00a0any<\/em> men asking her. It is 100% white Christian moms with “Live, Laugh, Love, Pray” wall decals, three desperately overscheduled “Greybies” named Mykklaryn, Renesmee, and, of course, Christian, who participate in dozens of conflicting afterschool activities that feed their mothers’ pathological transportation martyr needs. The I-would-like-to-speak-to-your-manager army is desperate for an audiobook they can listen to quietly while waiting in the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru, then cite as evidence that they’re not homophobic, they just vote for strongly anti-gay candidates because they agree with them on other issues. Oh, and sure, they donated to their megachurch’s conversion therapy camp, but they read poorly written butt sex scenes so they just can’t<\/em> be bigoted.<\/p>\n

And gay men, if you\u00a0are<\/em> a huge fan of E.L. James, I need you to explain why you’re so into painfully heterosexual and extremely homophobic “erotica” when there are hundreds of thousands of other choices out there.<\/p>\n

James’s coquettish “never say never” quote is the most infuriating fucking thing I’ve read in a while. And I have a Twitter account. Yes, bitch. Say never. Say the fuck never. No one, be they gay, lesbian, bi, pan, or queer, needs your straight ass fetishizing them for your ravenous audience and their dubious tastes. We have enough condescending straight women pulling that bullshit in M\/M fiction already.<\/p>\n

James says the idea interests her because having two men in the relationship would take away the power dynamics based on gender roles.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I cannot wait to read her BDSM novel where there are no power dynamics. I’m sure it will be thrilling, completely accurate, and well-researched.<\/p>\n

Also, probably\u00a0Supernatural<\/em> Wincest fic.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Now, let’s get back into her current fanfic. Oh, I mean, totally original work that is definitely not a\u00a0Poldark\u00a0<\/em>AU.<\/p>\n

They walk hand in hand along the coastal path and stop by an old ruin.<\/p>\n

“What is this place?” Alessia asks.<\/p>\n

“It’s an abandoned tin mine.”<\/p>\n

Alessia and Maxim lean against the chimney stack, staring out at a choppy sea that’s crested with white surf as the chill wind whistles between them.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ah. Well.<\/p>\n

Moss tells Demelssia that he grew up there and that his brother is dead now.<\/p>\n

He digs his hands deep into his coat pockets and stares out at the sea, his face bleak, carved like stone.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n