\u201cWho\u2019s<\/em> got a nasty bite?\u201d<\/p>\n He reaches past me and picks up the piece I dropped, holds the queen for me to see. \u201cShe\u2019s really not very nice.\u201d<\/p>\n I stare at him. \u201cShe\u2019s a chess piece.\u201d<\/p>\n His obsidian eyes gleam back. \u201cYour point?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMy point is, she\u2019s a chess<\/em> piece. She\u2019s made of marble<\/em>. She can\u2019t bite anyone.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n That is going to be an unfortunate eye description choice by the end of this recap. But we can’t let this passage go because it’s the first in a veritable avalanche of hints that this is a school for vampires that ends up making Grace an official Too Stupid To Live heroine.<\/p>\n Alphole Smartass Jr., which is what I’m calling him now (middle-aged writers, you get it), misquotes\u00a0Hamlet<\/em> to Grace, saying “there are more things in heaven and hell,” rather than “there are more things in heaven and earth” and he mocks her.<\/p>\n \u201cI think I like my version better.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cEven though it\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cEspecially because it\u2019s wrong.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n So, we’ve got dark hair, amazing cheekbones, and enough arrogance to power a Ferris Wheel if we could somehow convert needlessly inflated male self-esteem to electricity. Bad news! It’s a renewable energy source!<\/p>\n Grace thinks about how much she wants to get away from Alphole Smartass Jr., the number one quality one wants in a meet-cute.<\/p>\n Because the longer I stand here, the more I realize this guy is as terrifying as he is intriguing.<\/p>\n I\u2019m not sure which is worse. And I\u2019m growing less sure by the second that I want to find out.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n “Terrifying” is always how one should describe a love interest. Especially in a book touted as “feminist.”<\/p>\n \u201cI need to go.\u201d I force the words past a jaw I didn\u2019t even know I\u2019d been clenching.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, you do.\u201d He takes a small step back, nods toward the common room Macy and I just walked through. \u201cThe door\u2019s that way.\u201d<\/p>\n It\u2019s not the response I\u2019m expecting, and it throws me off guard. \u201cSo what, I shouldn\u2019t let it hit me on the way out?\u201d<\/p>\n He shrugs. \u201cAs long as you leave this school, it doesn\u2019t matter to me if it hits you or not. I warned your uncle you wouldn\u2019t be safe here, but he obviously doesn\u2019t like you much.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n He clearly knows why Grace is there…so he tells her that one of her two last surviving family members doesn’t care about her enough to keep her\u00a0safe<\/em>?<\/p>\n Now, I know we’re treading across very, very familiar ground here when I point out that “safety” is a red flag. What does it matter? He doesn’t know her. He clearly doesn’t care about her feelings. But he feels possessive enough after some aggressive banter to verbally abuse her to keep her “safe”.<\/p>\n From a foreshadowing perspective:<\/p>\n It took Bella Swann like one inciting incident to go, “Maybe I should google vampires.”<\/p>\n \u201cWho exactly are you supposed to be anyway? Katmere\u2019s very own un<\/em>welcome wagon?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUnwelcome wagon?\u201d His tone is as obnoxious as his face. \u201cBelieve me, this is the nicest greeting you\u2019re going to get here.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThis is it, huh?\u201d I raise my brows, spread my arms out wide. \u201cThe big welcome to Alaska?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMore like, welcome to hell. Now get the fuck out.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Everything we’ve seen so far has indicated that Tracy Wolff is a\u00a0much<\/em> better writer than this. Let me propose a\u00a0theory<\/em> that I have. Again, just a\u00a0theory<\/em>, I’m not saying this is exactly what happened. This is not an\u00a0accusation.<\/em> This is pure\u00a0speculation.<\/em>\u00a0But I have suspicions that Wolff either didn’t write this or it was heavily tinkered with by the editor, Liz Pelletier.<\/p>\n Entangled’s other big hit series,\u00a0 Now, am I accusing Tracy Wolff of ripping off the rip-off queen? Absolutely not. But here are three things I know for sure:<\/p>\n Here is what I, again, merely\u00a0theorize<\/em> happened: When\u00a0Crave<\/em> slid onto her desk, Liz, seeking to recapture the magic of the early 10s YA scene, saw an opportunity to resurrect the characters that I think Pelletier either wrote this scene herself or heavily influenced the writing of it, not realizing that YA has moved past the “I hate you\/I love you\/let me fix you” plotlines that dominated it in the early ’10s.<\/p>\n And while I am so, so fucking furious to have to do this, I have principles, okay. Principles do not bend or alter just because a lying succubus is the author whose work is in need of defending. I feel like this scene skirts way, way too close to Katy and Daemon from the succubus’s books. All we need is one insulting and unwanted pet name for the heroine that the hero keeps using for no apparent reason (how did that not drive me up a frickin’ wall when I first read it?!).<\/p>\n And the banter. THE BANTER. This entire chapter is\u00a0only<\/em>\u00a0this particular conversation.\u00a0<\/em>That means it’s extra short. Gotcha! It’s not short at all! It’s eight god damn pages of Grace being sassy yet irresistibly drawn to this guy who she thinks is an asshole but can’t help herself from being attracted to and who wants to keep her far away for her own good.<\/p>\n Eight god damn pages.<\/p>\n Wanna know what everyone loved about Katy and Daemon in\u00a0Lux<\/em>?<\/p>\n It was the super clever banter. That in hindsight wasn’t terribly clever but it’s what people loved, okay? Stop judging me, it was a long time ago. Everybody makes mistakes.<\/p>\n But I just can’t believe in my heart of hearts that the believable teen heroine we’ve spent a prologue and two chapters with would suddenly come out with:<\/p>\n \u201cIs it that stick up your ass that makes you such a jerk?\u201d I demand. \u201cOr is this just your regular, charming personality?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n In your mind, imagine literally any character on\u00a0The<\/em>\u00a0Big Bang Theory<\/em>\u00a0delivering that insult. Put the laugh track in. You can see it, right? You can see how grindingly dull and unimaginative this\u00a0eight page\u00a0<\/em>conversation is gonna be.<\/p>\n Just so I don’t have to paste the whole damn chapter in here, I’m going to just confirm without direct quote that yes, he absolutely has been smirking and the word smug has for sure been used to describe him. He tells Grace point-blank that\u00a0someone is going to eat her.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cSeriously? That\u2019s what you decided to go with?\u201d I roll my eyes. \u201cBite me, dude.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Get it? Because he’s a vampire? And also because teenagers totally say, “bite me, dude,” all the time these days.<\/p>\n \u201cNah, I don\u2019t think so.\u201d He looks me up and down. \u201cI\u2019m pretty sure you wouldn\u2019t even make an appetizer.\u201d<\/p>\n But then he\u2019s stepping closer, leaning down until he\u2019s all but whispering in my ear. \u201cMaybe a quick snack, though.\u201d His teeth close with a loud, sharp snap that makes me jump and shiver all at the same time.<\/p>\n Which I hate\u2026so, so much.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Awesome because me, too. I also hate this. I hate that he’s violating her personal space to intimidate and threaten her and I hate that it’s being used to show how apparently sexy this dude is.<\/p>\n But let’s go back to Grace being Too Stupid To Live:<\/p>\n MISS I AM SORRY TO INFORM YOU THAT VAMPIRES.<\/p>\n As this conflict is going on, people walking by are conspicuously ignoring both Grace and Alphole Smartass Jr.<\/p>\n […] \u201cWhat is wrong with you?\u201d I mean, seriously. He\u2019s got the manners of a rabid polar bear.<\/p>\n \u201cGot a century or three?\u201d His smirk is back\u2014he\u2019s obviously proud of getting to me\u2014and for a moment, just a moment, I think about how satisfying it would be to punch him right in the center of that annoying mouth of his.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Get it? Centuries? Because he’s a vampire?<\/p>\n Look, Grace. This guy isn’t\u00a0just<\/em> a vampire. He is the Hannibal Lecter of vampires, in terms of the shitty obvious puns he keeps dropping for you to pick up on. How are you not getting any of this?<\/p>\n \u201cYou know what? You really don\u2019t have to be such a\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t tell me what I have to be. Not when you don\u2019t have a clue what you\u2019ve wandered into here.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Then tell her.<\/p>\n \u201cOh no!\u201d I do a mock-afraid face. \u201cIs this the part of the story where you tell me about the big, bad monsters out here in the big, bad Alaskan wilderness?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, this is the part of the story where I show you the big, bad monsters right here in this castle.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n GRACE PLEASE PAY ATTENTION:<\/p>\n Even though Grace has stepped back to put distance between them, he gets super close to her again because of course, he does. And she gets all fluttery because he’s so close to her because of course, she does.<\/p>\n I hate that he\u2019s bested me, and I hate that being this close to him makes me feel a bunch of things I shouldn\u2019t for a guy who has been a total jerk to me. I hate even more that the look in his eyes says he knows exactly how I\u2019m feeling.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Maybe I’m just seeing things that aren’t there but I’m pretty sure other people who’ve read the\u00a0Lux<\/em> series (may God have mercy on your souls) have to see how similar-but-not-identical this is to the first few interactions with Katy Daemon.<\/p>\n There’s more of Alphole Smartass Jr. being a disgusting, predatory creep:<\/p>\n The fact that I\u2019m reacting so strongly to him when all he seems to feel for me is contempt is humiliating, so I take one trembling step back. Then I take another. And another.<\/p>\n But he follows suit, moving one step forward for every step I take backward, until I\u2019m caught between him and the chess table pressing into the back of my thighs. And even though there\u2019s nowhere to go, even though I\u2019m stuck right here in front of him, he leans closer still, gets closer still, until I can feel his warm breath on my cheek and the brush of his silky black hair against my skin.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n This exact interaction happened with Katy and Daemon, except he backed her into a tree while he acted tough and scary.<\/p>\n It’s okay, though! Alphole Smartass Jr. was just reaching for a chess piece.<\/p>\n This one is fierce, eyes narrowed, talons raised, mouth open to show off sharp, jagged teeth. But it\u2019s still just a chess piece. \u201cI\u2019m not afraid of a three-inch dragon.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, well, you should be.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, well, I\u2019m not<\/em>.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n It’s just going on and on with the back and forth to the point that I wouldn’t be surprised to turn the page and see “Nuh-uh!” “Nuh-huh!<\/em>” This just doesn’t track with what we’ve read so far; it was so much better up until this point. The story went places. Things were interesting. Now, it’s just a creepy dude getting too touchy with a grieving orphan who apparently found her new and very specific kink.<\/p>\n There’s a big chunk of breathless explanation about just how thrilling and sexy-but-infuriating his closeness is, to the point that she ends up actually leaning back over the table to get away from him because he’s got her basically trapped. Then, because it’s not a threatening question to ask someone when you’ve been blocking their escape and staring silently into their eyes for, quote, “twenty-five seconds,” he wants to know what she’s afraid of.<\/p>\n Images of my parents\u2019 mangled car flash through my brain, followed by pictures of their battered bodies. I was the only family they had in San Diego\u2014or anywhere, really, except for Finn and Macy\u2014so I\u2019m the one who had to go to the morgue. I\u2019m the one who had to identify their bodies. Who had to see them all bruised and bloody and broken before the funeral home had a chance to put them back together again.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Because this is such a good, evocative, actually insightful look into Grace’s characterization and backstory, I hate to nitpick this. But I’m going to because I care a lot about death and all the death industries, and as a result, I’ve reached out to people with experience in these areas, as well as casual death fans, to find out how likely this scenario is.<\/p>\n Not very.<\/p>\n Now, why am I not going, “Okay, creative license,” in this case? Because it’s actually based on super harmful misconceptions around post-death investigations. While procedures vary from state to state, here’s what my research has yielded:<\/p>\n We tend to see morgues in movies as dark, cold, sometimes dirty, definitely unfeeling places where everyone is callous and gruff and doesn’t give a shit about the grief that families experience or the trauma these types of viewings can create. That’s why I’m mentioning it. It would have been more logical and honestly, would probably pack more of a punch if she’d been in the car with them, survived, but remembered the gruesome details that way.<\/p>\n Now, back to Alphole Smartass Jr. and his question about what she’s afraid of.<\/p>\n \u201cNot much,\u201d I tell him as flippantly as I can manage. \u201cThere\u2019s not much to be afraid of when you\u2019ve already lost everything that matters.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Bam. You’re not going to scare her because the worst-case scenario has already happened. Which, by the way, is a journey I love for Grace.<\/p>\n Until this happens in the next paragraph:<\/p>\n He freezes at my words, his whole body tensing up so much that it feels like he might shatter. Even his eyes change, the wildness disappearing between one blink and the next until only stillness remains.<\/p>\n Stillness and an agony so deep I can barely see it behind the layers and layers of defenses he\u2019s erected.<\/p>\n But I can see it. More, I can feel it calling to my own pain.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n
Roswell<\/em><\/del> Lux\u00a0<\/em>featured a tall, dark, obnoxious hero who insulted the heroine and acted like a dickhead to her for what he decided was her own good. Now, Crave\u00a0<\/em>is\u00a0much, much, much better written than that series. However, this is also incredibly similar to the meeting between the hero and heroine of that series. I should know; before the author was revealed to be a succubus, I stanned those books so hard (though in hindsight, having just compared these scenes to make sure I wasn’t misremembering, I couldn’t stand the hero anymore). I felt like I was having flashbacks.<\/p>\n\n
Melinda Metz<\/del>\u00a0she dreamed up for\u00a0Roswell<\/em><\/del>\u00a0Lux\u00a0<\/em>and rekindle the relationship spark that made\u00a0Roswell<\/em><\/del> Lux\u00a0<\/em>so popular.<\/p>\n\n
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