As I mentioned before, my cousin D-Rock helped pick the winners. As far as she was concerned, “Buster Hymen” was the hands down winner. She is positively enchanted with Buster Hymen, and has begun to call my husband “Buster” in tribute to it, much to his chagrin. Of course, I pointed out that her past nicknames for him (“Welshy Bitch”, “Butters”, “Triple Butters”, “Rutledge”, etc.) have all been about as equally obnoxious. So, congratulations, Rhys Astason, you have made a pretty mediocre enemy in my husband, and a devotee (for as long as her short-term memory holds out) of my cousin.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The second and third place winners, who will both win
Long Relief<\/i>\u00a0and Wolf’s Honor<\/i>\u00a0from yours truly, are:<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
MeloBrown, “Ted Bundy”<\/b><\/div>\nSimone, “Barely Fits”<\/b><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Ted Bundy? That is so amazingly dark, and perfectly apt considering who we’re talking about. Barely Fits is a fitting pun in the vein of “Buster Hymen”. Good job!<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Now, the rest of our list don’t win any prizes (boo!) but they did have us rolling with laughter. They are, as follows:<\/div>\n
Belle, “Dark Knight”<\/b><\/div>\nJennyJen, “Team Headward”<\/b><\/div>\nPaulina Bozek, “Tiberius”<\/b><\/div>\nDakota Rebel, “Zinfindel”<\/b><\/div>\nJenniferK66, “Sir Jonathan Icedragon the third”<\/b><\/div>\nBrynn Paulin, “Charlie Tango jr.”<\/b><\/div>\nLeigh, “Shimmering Dom”<\/b><\/div>\n
<\/b><\/div>\nGood job, everyone who entered. We had a great time reading your submissions. If you’re one of our top three winners and you did not leave us contact info, please do so at this time, so we can get your prizes to you! By that, I mean, “MeloBrown and Simone, please get in touch with me so I can send you books!”<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
As you may recall, if your memory is longer than a goldfish’s, I invited readers of this blog to submit their names for Christian Grey’s…<\/p>\n
Read moreName Chedward’s Penis Contest WINNERS!<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2971"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2971"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2971\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2971"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2971"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2971"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}