{"id":3276,"date":"2012-03-02T22:57:00","date_gmt":"2012-03-02T22:57:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennytrout.wordpress.com\/2012\/03\/02\/the-most-dysfunctional-family-dinner"},"modified":"2012-03-02T22:57:00","modified_gmt":"2012-03-02T22:57:00","slug":"the-most-dysfunctional-family-dinner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=3276","title":{"rendered":"The Most Dysfunctional Family Dinner"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;I&#8217;ve been falling down much lately,&#8221; my daughter, Wednesday, said, looking up at me sadly.<br \/>I nod, knowing that &#8220;lately&#8221; is, to my daughter, like &#8220;last night&#8221;. Any length of time, indeterminate from any other length of time. &#8220;Lately,&#8221; it was also Halloween. &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry to hear that.&#8221;<br \/>&#8220;You kicked me down the stairs.&#8221;<br \/>&#8220;What?!&#8221; It&#8217;s the only time I&#8217;ve actually heard myself interrobang. &#8220;I never kicked you down the stairs.&#8221;<br \/>Mutely, with her eyes closed but stretched tall in superiority, she nods.<br \/>&#8220;The only person getting kicked down the stairs here is Christian,&#8221; my husband chimes in, repeating the inside joke between him and our son. I&#8217;ve never realized how ghoulish it sounds until right now.<br \/>My son throws down his fork. &#8220;What the hell!&#8221;<br \/>&#8220;Christian, say &#8216;what the heck&#8217;!&#8221; Wednesday brandishes a fork threateningly.<br \/>&#8220;Never say &#8216;what the hell&#8217; in school,&#8221; Husband advises our son.<br \/>&#8220;Or heck,&#8221; Christian corrects him.<br \/>That sounds awfully puritan for a public school. &#8220;You&#8217;d get in trouble for saying &#8216;what the heck&#8217;?&#8221;<br \/>Son nods.<br \/>In disbelief, daughter exclaims, &#8220;What the hell?&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;I&#8217;ve been falling down much lately,&#8221; my daughter, Wednesday, said, looking up at me sadly.I nod, knowing that &#8220;lately&#8221; is, to my daughter, like &#8220;last&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"more-link-wrapper\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=3276\">Read more<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">The Most Dysfunctional Family Dinner<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3276"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3276"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3276\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3276"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3276"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3276"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}