{"id":3347,"date":"2012-01-16T17:38:00","date_gmt":"2012-01-16T17:38:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennytrout.wordpress.com\/2012\/01\/16\/down-here-everything-knits"},"modified":"2012-01-16T17:38:00","modified_gmt":"2012-01-16T17:38:00","slug":"down-here-everything-knits","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=3347","title":{"rendered":"Down here, everything knits&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>My grandmother is a treasure trove of crafting resources. If you need a certain type of fabric, she has it. If you&#8217;ve always wanted to latch-hook a rug, she&#8217;s got kits for that. She&#8217;s spent a lot of time at auctions, bidding on crafting lots, so occasionally she ends up with stuff she doesn&#8217;t need, like knitting stuff. She doesn&#8217;t knit, so she passes these things along to me, because I am also crafty.<\/p>\n<p>This is how I came into possession of the single most terrifying thing I&#8217;ve ever seen in my entire life. The February-March 1984 edition of Annie&#8217;s Pattern Club. Behold:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/jennytrout.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/01\/img_3173.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/jennytrout.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/01\/2e65a-img_3173.jpg?w=300\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s nice to know that Pennywise has some hobbies to keep him busy. Seriously, the first time I looked at this cover, I didn&#8217;t see the fucking clown. In fact, the second time I looked at this cover, I didn&#8217;t see the fucking clown. Like clowns often do, he was lurking, waiting to unleash his horror when I least expected it. I picked this up, said, &#8220;Huh, that&#8217;s kind of a cute afghan there I OH MY GOD NO.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;ll notice that the cover promises a needle craft &#8220;surprise&#8221;. What is that surprise, you ask? Murder. The surprise is murder. By clown. Possibly with a knitting needle.<\/p>\n<p>Sweet dreams.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My grandmother is a treasure trove of crafting resources. If you need a certain type of fabric, she has it. If you&#8217;ve always wanted to&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"more-link-wrapper\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=3347\">Read more<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Down here, everything knits&#8230;<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3347"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3347"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3347\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3347"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3347"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3347"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}