{"id":3459,"date":"2011-07-27T22:50:00","date_gmt":"2011-07-27T22:50:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennytrout.wordpress.com\/2011\/07\/27\/blah-i-vant-to-suck-your-blaaaaaaad"},"modified":"2011-07-27T22:50:00","modified_gmt":"2011-07-27T22:50:00","slug":"blah-i-vant-to-suck-your-blaaaaaaad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=3459","title":{"rendered":"Blah I Vant To Suck Your Blaaaaaaad"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>My latest <a href=\"http:\/\/fiverr.com\/\">Fiverr.com<\/a> experiment does exactly what it says on the tin. The listing, from AngeltheArtist, can be found here: <a href=\"http:\/\/fiverr.com\/users\/angeltheartist\/gigs\/make-you-a-finger-face-charactor-with-my-fingers\">I will make you a finger face character with my fingers<\/a>:<\/p>\n<p><i>&#8220;Using my own fingers (girl hand) I will dress them or draw them to the character of your liking with a cute face. Like a guy from Paris, or a Vampire, or a cute couple etc. whatever you think of will work! Just tell me what you please, I will send you the picture digitally on fiver and were done! Great as a gift for a friend!<\/i><\/p>\n<p>Clearly, I needed her to whip me up a vampire. This is what I asked for:<\/p>\n<p><i>&#8220;let&#8217;s go with a vampire. As goth and tortured and darkity dark as you&#8217;re willing.&#8221;<\/i><\/p>\n<p>I mean, if we&#8217;re going to go vampire, we need something dark and horrid and scary, the stuff that will make a lesser writer (like me) go on antidepressants, according to some. <b>Cheap shot of the day! I win a billion dollars!<\/b><\/p>\n<p>What AngeltheArtist sent to me did not disappoint. I present to you, finger vampires:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/jennytrout.files.wordpress.com\/2011\/07\/vampfinger_copy.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/jennytrout.files.wordpress.com\/2011\/07\/5567c-vampfinger_copy.jpg?w=300\" border=\"0\" alt=\"\" id=\"BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634170071087314482\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>You can&#8217;t get much darker than that. I particularly enjoy the x&#8217;ed out eyes. Classic.<\/p>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>What I don&#8217;t understand is how one would go about creating this type of scene on one&#8217;s fingers. At some point wouldn&#8217;t you need both hands to apply the fake blood and bushy vampire eyebrows? I commend you, AngeltheArtist, for doing what I could not, at least, not without accidentally gluing my fingers together and then gluing my fingers to my foot and my foot to the floor.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My latest Fiverr.com experiment does exactly what it says on the tin. The listing, from AngeltheArtist, can be found here: I will make you a&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"more-link-wrapper\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=3459\">Read more<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Blah I Vant To Suck Your Blaaaaaaad<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3459"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3459"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3459\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3459"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3459"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3459"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}