{"id":3712,"date":"2010-07-19T18:24:00","date_gmt":"2010-07-19T18:24:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennytrout.wordpress.com\/2010\/07\/19\/ten-things"},"modified":"2010-07-19T18:24:00","modified_gmt":"2010-07-19T18:24:00","slug":"ten-things","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=3712","title":{"rendered":"Ten Things&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><A HREF=\"http:\/\/bronwyngreenblog.blogspot.com\">Bronwyn Green<\/A> won a blogging award, and now we&#8217;re all going to be punished. She got to pick some people who have to tell ten little-known things about themselves. I see this as a lot like being crowned Queen in Tudor England. You get the honor and stuff, and you get to pick some ladies-in-waiting and make them do some stuff, but it doesn&#8217;t last forever. Look, I&#8217;m not saying that someone should cut off Bronwyn&#8217;s head and put it on a pike or something, God forbid. I&#8217;m just saying that maybe she&#8217;s going to be declared the blog award&#8217;s sister and put away to molder in an estate somewhere. I&#8217;m just looking out for my friend. I want to make sure this blog award isn&#8217;t going to kill off its other recipients and expect Bronwyn to care for its children, you know?<\/p>\n<p>Wait, what was I supposed to be doing?<\/p>\n<p>Oh right.  Ten things that are not well-known about me.  That&#8217;s kind of hard, because I generally just vomit forth copious amounts of &#8220;about me&#8221; in my daily existence. Some of you readers out there might have copies of your books signed with, &#8220;I could really use a cupcake right now&#8221; or &#8220;I&#8217;ve never been to a P.F. Chang&#8217;s.&#8221;  But I&#8217;m gonna give it a try. I&#8217;m gonna do eight because I&#8217;m bucking convention and I don&#8217;t feel like that blog award should be able to just barge into my house and start bossing me around because I am an American.<\/p>\n<p><B><S>ten<\/S>eight things in no particular order of importance<\/B><br \/><OL><br \/><LI>If it would end up with me in some kind of group home, I would wear various period costumes as my regular clothing.  Mostly Tudor, maybe some medieval or pre-revolutionary France thrown in to break it up.  Regency just for cleaning the house.  I&#8217;ve also considered the same scenario but with Disney costumes, and I would dearly love having Cinderella&#8217;s peasant dress for cleaning days.  I would probably be more into cleaning my house if I could pretend to have cartoon mice assisting me.<br \/><LI>The first car I ever owned was a Ford Escort XL. It was red, with a green hood because a tree fell on it before it became &#8220;my&#8221; car. It had a stain in the backseat that we all called &#8220;The Mystery Stain&#8221; because no one could remember how it got there. My friends and I used to hang our bras on the antenna, and once my mother left to go pick up pizza in the car with all of our bras still attached.<br \/><LI>When I was in middle school, I didn&#8217;t like taking group showers after gym class, so one week out of every month I would claim to be on my period so that the gym teacher wouldn&#8217;t make me showever. Things were going okay for a while, until I actually got my period for the first time during, you guessed it, gym class. I had to go to my teacher&#8217;s aerobic&#8217;s class for like a week as punishment for lying about my period.<br \/><LI>I&#8217;m a full-time believer in reincarnation, and I&#8217;ve had several past-life regressions. I&#8217;ve almost always been a peasant who died horribly. I&#8217;m really hoping to avoid that in this life. However, I have a pretty good outlook on dying since I&#8217;ve come to the realization that it&#8217;s not permanent.<br \/><LI>When I was born, my mother was single and in college, so I was raised by my grandparents in their haunted house. Despite putting me to bed every night with stories about who died in the room I was sleeping in, my family can&#8217;t understand what would drive me to write stories about vampires. Many family members have expressed a desire that I write historical romances or something &#8220;nice&#8221; for Steeple Hill.<br \/><LI>Recently, I&#8217;ve discovered nail polish blogs. I&#8217;m addicted to pictures and descriptions of nail polish. I don&#8217;t know why, but it relaxes me, and I&#8217;m a big fan of being relaxed. Because of my new obsession, I&#8217;ve gotten into the habit of painting my nails every day. Sometimes twice a day. And then I decided I didn&#8217;t like them square anymore, so I filed them round, then I didn&#8217;t like them as ovals so I filed them down to nubs to start over again.<br \/><LI>I have a genetic disorder that makes me too bendy for my own good. To combat this, I lift weights, but I&#8217;m still a huge wimp who can barely lift a gallon of milk.  I could probably crush a man to death with my thighs like that James Bond villain from the 90&#8217;s, though.  The opportunity hasn&#8217;t really come up.<br \/><LI>I have this delusional blind-spot in my reason wherein I think, &#8220;I can do that,&#8221; to almost anything.  This once extended to playing the piano.  I was surrounded by a group of about thirty high schoolers, all looking at me expectantly, and I asked, &#8220;Okay, can someone show me which one of these thingies is C?&#8221; I saw thirty young faces fall, and one of them meekly asked, &#8220;You know how to play piano, right?&#8221;  I shook my head, very confident still, at this point, and said, &#8220;No. But lots of people do it. It can&#8217;t be hard.&#8221;  I was wrong.  However, their musical was a success, so there wasn&#8217;t any harm done. In fact, I think I taught them a lesson about courage or music or something.<br \/><\/OL>  <\/p>\n<div class=\"flockcredit\" style=\"text-align:right;color:#CCC;font-size:x-small;\">Blogged with the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flock.com\/blogged-with-flock\" style=\"color:#999;font-weight:bold;\" target=\"_new\" title=\"Flock Browser\">Flock Browser<\/a><\/div>\n<p> Which is why it was all effed up and I had to go through it line by line fixing it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Bronwyn Green won a blogging award, and now we&#8217;re all going to be punished. She got to pick some people who have to tell ten&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"more-link-wrapper\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=3712\">Read more<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Ten Things&#8230;<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3712"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3712"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3712\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3712"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3712"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3712"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}