{"id":3990,"date":"2009-03-25T16:14:00","date_gmt":"2009-03-25T16:14:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennytrout.wordpress.com\/2009\/03\/25\/car-go-vrooom"},"modified":"2009-03-25T16:14:00","modified_gmt":"2009-03-25T16:14:00","slug":"car-go-vrooom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=3990","title":{"rendered":"Car go vrooom"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s something I&#8217;ve been thinking about.  I&#8217;m reading a book, and I&#8217;m getting little quetionzies in my head.  The biggest of which is:<\/p>\n<p><B>If you were a powerful vampire with a sprawling mansion and gobs upon gobs of money, would you buy a BMW?<\/B><\/p>\n<p>If you answer was &#8220;Um, no,&#8221; you are correct.  If your answer was, &#8220;Yes, but only for target practice,&#8221; you are also correct.  If your answer was, &#8220;That is the fanciest car I can think of,&#8221; CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR PUBLISHING SUCCESS.<\/p>\n<p>What on earth are some authors thinking?  If you have an enormous, heavily fortified castle, loads of servants, and piles of gold bullion just lying about, you&#8217;re not going to buy a car the moms at my kid&#8217;s school drive.  You&#8217;re going to buy something awesome!  Something fast and shiny that can reach dangerous speeds because you&#8217;re A DOGGAMNED VAMPIRE.<\/p>\n<p><B>YOU ARE GOING TO BUY A BUGATTI VEYRON. 0-60 IN 2.5 AND YOU&#8217;RE NOT GOING TO WEAR YOUR SEATBELT, CHESTER, BECAUSE YOU ARE A VAMPIRE.<\/B><\/p>\n<p>Alternately, if you like something a little less flashy, something you can drive without everyone thinking you have a penis the size of a gnat, you could get a Maybach 62.<\/p>\n<p><B>BMW DOES NOT ENTER THE EQUATION.<\/B><\/p>\n<p>That is all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s something I&#8217;ve been thinking about. I&#8217;m reading a book, and I&#8217;m getting little quetionzies in my head. The biggest of which is: If you&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"more-link-wrapper\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=3990\">Read more<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Car go vrooom<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3990"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3990"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3990\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3990"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3990"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3990"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}