Okay, first of all, who do you have to blow to get to write one of those licensed Doctor Who novels? Seriously?<\/p>\n
Anyway, instead of lamenting about my lack of licensed properties I’m allowed to write about and still get paid, rather than just posting it to fanfiction.net and waiting breathlessly for comments, here’s a versus battle for y’all.<\/p>\n
What They Are<\/I><\/B>
Daleks<\/U> Tentacled creatures resembling octopodes who motor around in heavily armored salt-and-pepper shakers whilst seeking to remove anything not Dalek from the universe.
Borg<\/U> A cyborg race on a massive, intergalactic scavenger hunt to collect as many species as possible and “assimilate” them into their hive.
Advantage: Borg<\/B><\/p>\n
Home Planet<\/I><\/B>
Daleks<\/U> Skaro, a planet devastated by nuclear war and inhabited by failed mutation experiments. Also, they have like a hundred Starbucks.
Borg<\/U> Anywhere they feel like it; someplace in the Delta quadrant.
Advantage: Dalek<\/B><\/p>\n
School Motto<\/B><\/I>
Daleks<\/U> “EXTERMINATE!”
Borg<\/U> “Resistance is futile.”
Advantage: Borg<\/B><\/p>\n
Multipurpose attachments and tools<\/B><\/I>
Daleks<\/U> An egg beater that can kill basically anything; plunger.
Borg<\/U> Laser goggle that will never heal if you don’t stop picking at it; bionic arm.
Advantage: Daleks<\/B><\/p>\n
Cool Club Name (No Girls Allowed)<\/B><\/I>
Daleks<\/U> Cult of Skaro, which sounds mysterious and cool.
Borg<\/U> The Collective, which sounds like an art school project.
Advantage: Daleks<\/B><\/p>\n
Arch enemy<\/B><\/I>
Daleks<\/U> The Doctor.
Borg<\/U> The whole effing Federation.
Advantage: Borg<\/B><\/p>\n
Double Dare Physical Challenge they would soooo fail<\/B><\/I>
Daleks<\/U> Stairs, but they totally fixed that problem.
Borg<\/U> Running, because they’re in no particular hurry.
Advantage: Daleks<\/B><\/p>\n
Holiday<\/B><\/I>
Daleks<\/U> International Talk Like A Dalek Day, November 24.
Borg<\/U> None.
Advantage: Daleks<\/B><\/p>\n
The Borg put up a good fight, but let’s be honest… it’s not like they’re ever going to get you… they’re in the future, in space, and you can easily outrun them if you’re in modest shape. The Daleks, on the other hand, have come to Earth, can vaporize you with their egg beaters, and are basically unstoppable, now that they’ve overcome that pesky stairs situation.<\/p>\n
On the other hand, the Borg are communists, so I suppose they’re enemies to our freedom or some similar empty rhetoric.<\/p>\n
Tune in later for Round Two, Daleks vs. The Gentlemen (Buffy The Vampire Slayer).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Okay, first of all, who do you have to blow to get to write one of those licensed Doctor Who novels? Seriously? Anyway, instead of…<\/p>\n