{"id":4365,"date":"2007-11-12T13:03:00","date_gmt":"2007-11-12T13:03:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennytrout.wordpress.com\/2007\/11\/12\/things-you-probably-shouldnt-ask"},"modified":"2007-11-12T13:03:00","modified_gmt":"2007-11-12T13:03:00","slug":"things-you-probably-shouldnt-ask","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=4365","title":{"rendered":"Things You Probably Shouldn&#8217;t Ask&#8230;."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>My local RWA chapter, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.grrrwa.org\/\">GRRRWA<\/a>, had a fantastic guest speaker this weekend.  A policeman.  Not to sound like a five year old who just saw a fire truck parked at the neighbors house, but seriously, he was a real policeman with a gun and a taser and a badge and everything.  No horse or motorcycle, but all the rest of the stuff.<\/p>\n<p>Now, if you&#8217;re like me, you can sympathize with the urge to, when meeting someone in a profession you have very little knowledge of, ask as many questions as you possibly can, even if you sound incredibly stupid.  I do this with the following people:<\/p>\n<ul><\/p>\n<li>Pilots<\/li>\n<li>Doctors<\/li>\n<li>Football players<\/li>\n<li>Members of our Armed Forces<\/li>\n<li>Senators, state or otherwise<\/li>\n<li>Meteorologists<\/li>\n<li>Policemen<\/li>\n<li>People who like to golf.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And I can&#8217;t stop the questions from flowing out my word hole.  I asked him who cleans up murdered people.  How much sweet, stinky weed you can get caught with before it becomes a felony.  How they wrestle people down and handcuff them.  What cops would think if Batman and Spiderman were real.  I just <i>barely<\/i> restrained myself from asking if he&#8217;d ever been shot and if he would taser me so I could see what it was like.<\/p>\n<p>Needless to say, I learned a lot.  The most disappointing answer was that if Spiderman and Batman were real, they really wouldn&#8217;t be doing the police any favors, because the police couldn&#8217;t just pick up a guy wrapped up in a web and charge him with a crime they didn&#8217;t see.  Which makes sense, I guess, but damn.  I can&#8217;t believe I&#8217;ve lived my whole life as a lie.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, I was thinking.  This is a golden opportunity to answer some burning questions I know people must have about being a writer.  So, I&#8217;m going to attempt to do that right now:<\/p>\n<p><b>Top Ten Answers To Questions Frequently Asked Of Writers:<\/b><\/p>\n<ol><\/p>\n<li>Not as much as you&#8217;d think, and certainly not enough to support my lifestyle, which is fabulous.<\/li>\n<li>You have to use stilts, because it&#8217;s up really high.<\/li>\n<li>Tomorrow.<\/li>\n<li>Yes, that does look infected.<\/li>\n<li>No, it would be foolish to remove the restraining bolt, as it is likely that your droid will just run away.<\/li>\n<li>Probably not more than six, just to be safe.<\/li>\n<li>A turkey sandwich, but then only with help.<\/li>\n<li>Family Feud reruns.<\/li>\n<li>Goal setting is EXTREMELY important.<\/li>\n<li>I say, tell the warden. Everyone loves a snitch.<\/ol>\n<p>I hope that helps clear up some of the mystery about what I do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My local RWA chapter, GRRRWA, had a fantastic guest speaker this weekend. A policeman. Not to sound like a five year old who just saw&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"more-link-wrapper\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=4365\">Read more<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Things You Probably Shouldn&#8217;t Ask&#8230;.<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4365"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4365"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4365\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4365"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4365"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4365"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}