{"id":5995,"date":"2013-09-02T13:08:52","date_gmt":"2013-09-02T17:08:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennytrout.wordpress.com\/?p=5995"},"modified":"2013-09-02T13:08:52","modified_gmt":"2013-09-02T17:08:52","slug":"breaking-two-evil-blondes-cast-in-50-shades-movie-ana-steeles-subconscious-peers-over-psychology-book","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=5995","title":{"rendered":"Breaking: Two Evil Blondes Cast in 50 Shades Movie; Ana Steele&#8217;s Subconscious Peers Over Psychology Book"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Two evil blondes who will probably try to steal your boyfriend have been cast as Christian &#8220;hanging in that way&#8221; Grey and Anastasia &#8220;European names are dumb&#8221; Steele in the Fifty Shades movie. Christian will played by Charlie Hunnam, better known from\u00a0<em>Sons of Anarchy<\/em> and\u00a0<em>Queer as Folk<\/em>, and Ana will be played by some ugly bitch who will never love Christian Grey as much as you do.\u00a0<em><strong>NEVER!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/jennytrout.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/09\/charlie-hunnam1.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-5999\" alt=\"charlie hunnam\" src=\"http:\/\/jennytrout.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/09\/charlie-hunnam1.jpg\" width=\"354\" height=\"359\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/jennytrout.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/09\/dakota_johnson_1.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-5994\" alt=\"Screening Of Fox's New Tuesday Night Comedies\" src=\"http:\/\/jennytrout.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/09\/dakota_johnson_1.jpg\" width=\"354\" height=\"452\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">\n<p style=\"text-align:left;\">Dakota Johnson is actually Melanie Griffith&#8217;s daughter, so I have to hope, pray, and cross my fingers that we&#8217;re a step closer to seeing Melanie as Mrs. Elena Bitch Troll Robinson.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:left;\">I wish both of these crazy kids nothing but the best as they mangle their careers irreparably by stepping up as the only B-squad actors who would touch the roles with a ten foot pole. Whatever gambling debts or student loans they&#8217;re trying to pay off by joining this shit show are sure to be resolved.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:left;\">Now that the roles are cast, what scene are you most looking forward to, dear reader? I&#8217;m torn between the tampon scene, or the one they have to write in to make it seem like Ana has any agency or gives consent.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Two evil blondes who will probably try to steal your boyfriend have been cast as Christian &#8220;hanging in that way&#8221; Grey and Anastasia &#8220;European names&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"more-link-wrapper\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=5995\">Read more<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Breaking: Two Evil Blondes Cast in 50 Shades Movie; Ana Steele&#8217;s Subconscious Peers Over Psychology Book<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5995"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5995"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5995\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5995"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5995"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5995"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}