{"id":7579,"date":"2014-05-06T12:13:46","date_gmt":"2014-05-06T16:13:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=7579"},"modified":"2014-05-06T14:24:54","modified_gmt":"2014-05-06T18:24:54","slug":"jenny-reads-after-chapters-7-9-big-ass-party-with-a-crowded-kitchenpeople-talk-shh-but-its-actually-just-tessas-internal-monologue","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/?p=7579","title":{"rendered":"Jenny Reads After chapters 7 – 9: “Big ass party with a crowded kitchen\/people talk shh but it’s actually just Tessa’s internal monologue.”"},"content":{"rendered":"

Before we get into recapsville, I wanted to tell you that author Karen Swart is hosting a character interview with Neil Elwood today on her blog right here<\/a>, as well as a really cool giveaway that’s a part of the Boss series virtual book tour. So, if you want a chance to win Sophie’s lipstick vibrator from the first book (US entries only on that prize, sorry), head over there.<\/p>\n

Okay, we’re into chapters 7 – 9 of\u00a0After,<\/em>\u00a0<\/em>I’ve got\u00a0Midnight Memories<\/em> all queued up on Spotify, let’s do this:<\/p>\n

CHAPTER 7.<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong>Tessa has just arrived to a frat party, and she’s dressed like she’s giving the second reading at mass today. And after the last chapter’s riveting cliffhanger in which they still hadn’t gotten inside the house, they’re actually in the house at the beginning of this chapter.<\/p>\n

Harry has already disappeared into the house and I hope I don’t see him again for the rest of the night, considering the amount of people crammed into this house, I probably won’t.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Yes, you will.<\/p>\n

Someone gives Tessa a drink, but of course she just leaves it on the counter and doesn’t drink it. The shocking part of this is that she doesn’t go into a lengthy inner monologue about her unimpeachable moral character.<\/p>\n

We reach a group of people who I automatically assume are Steph’s friends. They are all tattooed like her, and sitting in a row on the couch and of course Harry is sitting on the right arm of the couch.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

All tattooed people are friends. We are in a club. It’s supposed to be a secret, but Tessa might be onto us. And\u00a0of course<\/em> Harry is sitting on the right arm of the couch. That’s so like him. Classic Harry.<\/p>\n

Steph introduces Tessa to her friends:<\/p>\n

One by one they nod or smile at me. They are all so friendly, except Harry of course.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Wait. Is that his last name? Harry Ofcourse?<\/p>\n

It’s a shame all these really friendly people can’t be friends with Tessa, but you know. Tattoos.<\/p>\n

A handsome boy with olive toned skin reaches out his hand and shakes mine. His hands are a little cold from the red cup in his hands but his smile is warm. I think I spot a tongue piercing but I’m not positive.<\/p>\n

“I’m Zayn, what are you studying?”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

She’s majoring in how to tell if a person has a tongue piercing without seeing their tongue first. Unless Zayn is just wandering around with his tongue out.<\/p>\n

By the way, this is Zayn, from One Direction:<\/p>\n

\"zayn<\/a><\/p>\n

Zayne asks Tessa\u2013 wait. Wait a minute…<\/p>\n

WAIT.<\/p>\n

\"aj<\/a>+\"nick<\/a>=<\/strong>\"zayn<\/a><\/h1>\n

I KNEW THEY WERE ENGINEERING THESE GUYS IN A LAB! I KNEW IT!\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Zayn asks Tessa what she’s studying\u2013 I bet you’d never have guessed she’s an English major\u2013 and then he says he’s into flowers, and it’s supposed to be funny because they laugh at it, but I guess this humor is just too highbrow for me to follow. According to the comments section, “flowers” is code for weed. And listen guys. I’m a huge pothead, and I have never once heard anyone refer to weed as “flowers,” except when presenting it as a gift, e.g., “I brought you flowers.”<\/p>\n

Even weed has grammar rules, dude.<\/p>\n

Zayn tries to offer Tessa a drink, and she tells him that she doesn’t drink, and:<\/p>\n

\n

“Leave it to Steph to bring little miss priss to a frat party,” A tiny girl with pink colored hair says under breath.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that it’s a girl and not one of the named male characters in the scene who says this. But here’s a helpful hint for avoiding a common mistake: if you’re using an actual color to describe something, you don’t have to describe it as “[color] colored.” This girl has pink hair. If she’d described the pink as “cotton candy,” then “cotton candy colored” would be appropriate.<\/p>\n

Although, I guess cotton candy comes in different colors. But you get it, right?<\/p>\n

\n

I am pretend that I don’t hear her so I don’t have to think of a comeback. Miss priss? I am in no way “prissy” I have worked and studied hard to get where I am and my mother has worked her entire life to make sure I have a good future.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\"prissy\"<\/a>
“Her prissy mother”<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\n

Tessa decides to go outside to get away from the “drama.” She goes out and texts Noah to complain about how not fun college is based on the ten minutes she’s spent at the party so far.<\/p>\n

\n

A group of drunk girls walk by giggling and stumbling over their own feet. How obnoxious. Hopefully this isn’t how everyone in college is.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

I have some news that may alarm you, Tessa.<\/p>\n

A drunk guy spills his drink on her, so she goes off to find the bathroom.<\/p>\n

\n

Finally, one of the doors opens, unfortunately it’s not a bathroom. It’s a bedroom and even more unfortunate for me, Harry is laying across the bed with the pink haired girl straddling his lap, her mouth covering his.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

What an unexpected development that has occurred in pretty much every teen movie house party scene ever.<\/p>\n

50 Shades\/Twilight<\/em>\u00a0<\/em>similarities:<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Set in Washington<\/li>\n
  2. Heroine\u2019s hair is unruly<\/li>\n
  3. Single parent<\/li>\n
  4. Heroine\u2019s name phonetically similar to Ana\/Bella.<\/li>\n
  5. Alice\/Mia character<\/li>\n
  6. Clumsy heroine<\/li>\n
  7. Encouragement of internalized misogyny\/slut shaming<\/li>\n
  8. \u201cMaybe he\u2019s gay!\u201d<\/li>\n
  9. The not-friend friend<\/li>\n
  10. Increasingly na\u00efve heroine<\/li>\n
  11. Plum<\/del>\u00a0maroon dress<\/li>\n
  12. Everybody is staring at the heroine<\/li>\n
  13. You don\u2019t know you\u2019re beautiful<\/li>\n
  14. Don\u2019t need makeup to cover up<\/li>\n
  15. Heroine is an English major<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Random reader comment from this chapter:<\/strong><\/p>\n

    WELL THE DRESS WAS ALREADY SHITTY SO DON’T WORRY ANYWAY, WE WERE GOIGN TO BURN IT<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    CHAPTER 8.<\/strong><\/p>\n

    The girl turns around and looks at me as I try to move my feet but they just won’t budge.<\/p>\n

    “Can I help you?” she smirks. Harry sits up with her still on his torso. His face is flat, not amused or embarrassed what so ever.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    So basically, his characterization remains consistent with the rest of the characters in this book. Groovy.<\/p>\n

    This is so uncomfortable. I’m not surprised to find the two of them embraced this way, the pink haired girl and Harry are perfect for each other. Both tattooed, and both rude.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    I don’t have anything to say about this that wouldn’t be redundant. I just copy\/pasted it because someone has to suffer with me<\/del>\u00a0I thought you would enjoy it.<\/p>\n

    Tess goes to the kitchen to clean her dress up.<\/p>\n

    I have to reach around a brunette puking in the sink to grab a paper towel and wet it, as I wipe it over my dress, small white flakes of the cheap paper towel cover the wet spot, making it even worse.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    How unbelievably rude! Seriously, her ugly dress is so seriously special that she can’t\u00a0wait for someone to finish vomiting? She has to\u00a0reach over them<\/em>? Yeah, don’t even ask if they’re okay or be like, “Man, that sucks,”\u00a0reach over them and turn on the sink while they’re puking into it.<\/em> And then she has the audacity to complain about the quality of the paper towel? Should they have laid out the ultra posh Gold Series Brawny for your arrival, your majesty?<\/p>\n

    Niall finds her and asks her if she’s having fun, and Tessa responds:<\/p>\n

    “Not so much… how long do these parties usually last?”<\/p>\n

    “All night.. and half the day tomorrow,” he laughs and my mouth drops. When would Steph want to leave? Hopefully soon.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    You\u00a0just\u00a0<\/em>got there, and you’ve done nothing but sulk. Now you want your roommate to leave her good time because you’ve hated being at the party since before you put on your pastor’s wife dress to come here? Nuh-uh, you’re staying.<\/p>\n

    But what is up with all these freshmen knowing everything about college life in a way Tessa doesn’t? They already have invites to frat parties before the semester even begins? They’re familiar with how life on campus goes, and they’re basically as comfortable and self-assured as the established group of teens the heroine of a young adult novel would meet when she first moves to town at the beginning of a\u2013 yup, okay. I see it now.<\/p>\n

    Niall offers to let Tessa drive his car back to the dorm, and Tessa replies:<\/p>\n

    “I can’t drive your car, if I wreck or get pulled over with underage drinkers in the car I would get in so much trouble,” I can’t imagine my mothers face as she bails me out of jail.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    And that would be interesting conflict that would make the reader want to continue with the story, so we can’t have that.<\/p>\n

    I like her assumption that everyone is going to leave\u00a0with her now that she’s done with the party. Not like, “Hey, thanks Niall, I’ll drive\u00a0myself<\/em> back in your car,” but she actually imagines she’s going to round up everybody who came with them and they’ll all go home just because she wants to.<\/p>\n

    So, now Tessa is pissed off and stranded at the party. The fun just keeps on coming.<\/p>\n

    50 Shades\/Twilight<\/em>\u00a0<\/em>similarities:<\/strong><\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Set in Washington<\/li>\n
    2. Heroine\u2019s hair is unruly<\/li>\n
    3. Single parent<\/li>\n
    4. Heroine\u2019s name phonetically similar to Ana\/Bella.<\/li>\n
    5. Alice\/Mia character<\/li>\n
    6. Clumsy heroine<\/li>\n
    7. Encouragement of internalized misogyny\/slut shaming<\/li>\n
    8. \u201cMaybe he\u2019s gay!\u201d<\/li>\n
    9. The not-friend friend<\/li>\n
    10. Increasingly na\u00efve heroine<\/li>\n
    11. Plum<\/del>\u00a0maroon dress<\/li>\n
    12. Everybody is staring at the heroine<\/li>\n
    13. You don\u2019t know you\u2019re beautiful<\/li>\n
    14. Don\u2019t need makeup to cover up<\/li>\n
    15. Heroine is an English major<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Random reader comment from this chapter:<\/strong><\/p>\n

      OMG! Chapter 9 so far this is amazing!! Your such an amazing author<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

      CHAPTER 9.<\/strong><\/p>\n

      Tessa asks Niall to help her find Steph, presumably so Tessa can demand that Steph leave this den of sin.<\/p>\n

      I hear my gasp as I spot her. She, along with two other girls are dancing on a table in the living room. A drunk guy climbs up and joins them, his hands gripping Stephs hips. I expect her to smack his hands off but she just smiles and pushes her bottom against him. Oh.<\/p>\n

      “They are just dancing Tessa,” Niall smiles and gives a quick chuckle at my uneasy expression. They aren’t just dancing, they are groping and grinding each other.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

      That’s… dancing. Unless you went to my high school, where you always had to leave room for the Holy Spirit. And believe me, no chaperone wanted to hear your protestations about the Holy Spirit not having a form with physical limitations like tangible mass. That kind of talk will get you straight burned at the stake.<\/p>\n

      I’ve never danced that way, not even with Noah, and we have been dating two years. Noah! I feel incredibly guilty that he hasn’t crossed my mind since I’ve arrived.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

      Except for that part in the last chapter where you went outside and miserably texted him to complain about how awful youths are.<\/p>\n

      Noah is as naive and hopeless as Tessa, because he’s sent her three texts asking if she’s okay and should he call her mom.<\/p>\n

      I dial him as fast as my fingers will allow, praying that he hasn’t called my mom yet. He doesn’t answer but I text him assuring him that I am okay and please not to call my mother. She will lose it if she finds out I am at a party at a fraternity house, my first weekend of college.<\/p>\n

      \"boysnbooze\"<\/a>
      I have a feeling we’ll be seeing this .gif a lot.<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/blockquote>\n

      Steph is nonstop wrecked at this point, and she’s falling all over the place. Niall and Tessa take her to the bathroom before she can yak everywhere.<\/p>\n

      We go to a room upstairs and he opens the door, a bathroom. Of course when I needed one I couldn’t find it.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

      STEPH YOU BITCH HOW DARE YOU STEAL THE BATHROOM THAT IS RIGHTFULLY TESSA’S!<\/p>\n

      “Take her to the room across the hall and lay her on the bed. She is going to need to sleep it off,” he says and I nod. I can’t leave her here alone, passed out.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

      Okay, this is where this story gets one tinfoil star over\u00a050 Shades of Grey.\u00a0<\/em>When Ana got wasted in\u00a050 Shades<\/em>, Katherine was totally fine letting a stranger drag her out of the bar while she was unconscious. It’s supposed to be this super romantic thing, that this guy kidnaps her back to his hotel room where he could have done god knows what to her, but he doesn’t because he’s a “gentleman.” At least here, Tessa is smart enough to know that leaving an unconscious girl alone in a frat house during a party is a dumb idea.
      \n<\/em><\/p>\n

      I manage to get her up off the floor and help her walk across the hall, the door opens to a bedroom.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

      Yikes. That whole sentence structure. Just yikes.<\/p>\n

      My eyes immediately go to the book shelves covering one of the walls. I gently lay a groaning Steph onto the bed and walk over to the books. I scan the titles and I am impressed by the owner of this collection, there are many classics including all of my favorites. I grab Wuthering Heights and pull it off the shelf.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

      Wuthering Heights.<\/em> You know. Because the hero is Heathcliff. Just like with\u00a0Twilight<\/em>.<\/p>\n

      The book, by the by, is all worn out from being read so much. Because the owner of the book\u2013 you’ll never guess who it is\u2013 is clearly a sensitive, romantic soul despite his stormy exterior.<\/p>\n

      “Why the hell are you in my room?” An angry voice booms. I know that accent by now. It’s Harry.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

      Wait, hang on. Harry is a member of this fraternity, and living in the house? How many freshmen live in frat houses? All the sorority girls I knew had to wait until their sophomore year to get into a house, because there were so many members and not enough room for all of them. I guess it could be different on a case by case basis, but I got the strong impression from the first three chapters that these kids were freshmen. Maybe that was a wild assumption on my part, but it just seems super unlikely to me that Harry would have already pledged and been accepted to a frat the weekend before college even started.<\/p>\n

      50 Shades\/Twilight<\/em>\u00a0<\/em>similarities:<\/strong><\/p>\n

        \n
      1. Set in Washington<\/li>\n
      2. Heroine\u2019s hair is unruly<\/li>\n
      3. Single parent<\/li>\n
      4. Heroine\u2019s name phonetically similar to Ana\/Bella.<\/li>\n
      5. Alice\/Mia character<\/li>\n
      6. Clumsy heroine<\/li>\n
      7. Encouragement of internalized misogyny\/slut shaming<\/li>\n
      8. \u201cMaybe he\u2019s gay!\u201d<\/li>\n
      9. The not-friend friend<\/li>\n
      10. Increasingly na\u00efve heroine<\/li>\n
      11. Plum<\/del>\u00a0maroon dress<\/li>\n
      12. Everybody is staring at the heroine<\/li>\n
      13. You don\u2019t know you\u2019re beautiful<\/li>\n
      14. Don\u2019t need makeup to cover up<\/li>\n
      15. Heroine is an English major<\/li>\n
      16. Heroine loves classic literature<\/strong><\/li>\n
      17. Erroneously romanticized figure from classic literature as shorthand characterization for the hero<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Random reader comment from this chapter:\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

        Tessa… Withering heights… A guy with an attitude… The infernal devices anyone?<\/p>\n

        \"Yup.<\/a>
        Yup. That’s the book it most closely resembles, clearly.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/blockquote>\n

        \n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

        Before we get into recapsville, I wanted to tell you that author Karen Swart is hosting a character interview with Neil Elwood today on her<\/p>\n

        Read moreJenny Reads After chapters 7 – 9: “Big ass party with a crowded kitchen\/people talk shh but it’s actually just Tessa’s internal monologue.”<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[239],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7579"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7579"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7579\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7586,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7579\/revisions\/7586"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7579"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7579"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennytrout.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7579"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}