The following is a that Bronwyn Green and I co-authored and presented to the Grand Rapids Region Writers Group, and we thought we’d make it available to everyone by posting it simultaneously. So if you’re looking to get some advice about common self-defeating behaviors for authors, read on after the jump.<\/p>\n
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You don\u2019t have to look very far to find self-defeating behavior. That\u2019s why it\u2019s called SELF defeating behavior. A lot of these habits result in unfinished or obviously rushed final products.<\/p>\n
\u00a0Denial:<\/strong> We\u2019re starting with denial because at least one person in this room is thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t have any self-defeating behaviors attached to my writing. I love writing. It\u2019s my life.\u201d In order to fix any of the behaviors we\u2019re going to discuss, you have to be willing to recognize them in yourself. The first step on the road to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Blaming these behaviors on other people or circumstances\u2014\u201cI wouldn\u2019t be such a martyr, if I wasn\u2019t so needed!\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t procrastinate, there\u2019s just never any time!\u201d\u2014will just hold you back and is a self-defeating behavior in and of itself. It\u2019s comorbid with all these other problems that we\u2019re about to shame you for.<\/p>\n Procrastination:\u00a0<\/strong>The common procrastinator knows they\u2019re procrastinating, but they genuinely believe that they have all the time in the world. In the middle of January, a March deadline seems ages away. But when February 27th rolls around, and they\u2019ve only got fifty thousand words of their one hundred thousand word novel finished, the panic sets in. The Procrastinator knows that this is a problem of their own making, and doesn\u2019t want to accept that responsibility, so they deny it, usually by getting on social media or taking an avid interest in a new show that has seven or eight seasons on Netflix. A lot of procrastinators can actually pull off getting their work done under the wire; however there\u2019s always a price to pay: your house is dirty, your kids are eating crap for dinner, nobody is getting the attention they need, you lose sleep, then you get sick, and then at that point you\u2019re so burned out, you don\u2019t start writing again until the deadline panic sets in once more.<\/p>\n How do you fix this? The easy answer would be to ask for a deadline extension. But that only prolongs the inevitable. When faced with the new deadline, the procrastinator starts the cycle all over again. And if your deadline is self-imposed, you\u2019ll see it pushed back further and further as your manuscript languishes unfinished.<\/p>\n So, how to combat this problem?<\/p>\n \u00a01. If you\u2019re in dire straits and need a fix to finish by a deadline, the first thing you can do is estimate the amount of words you think you need to complete your project. Divide that by the number of days you have until your deadline. That\u2019s the number of words you need to write every day. Add a couple hundred if you feel nervous. If you are fifty thousand words short and your deadline is in ten days, Sorry, you\u2019re up a creek. Exercising this step at the start of a project may help keep you on track in the first place.<\/p>\n \u00a02. Remove yourself from the internet. The biggest distraction a writer faces is twitter, tumblr, facebook, or pinterest. It\u2019s easy to tell yourself that you\u2019re getting on twitter to build your readership, or you need to make some kind of story vision board on pinterest, but if you\u2019re doing this during your writing time, you\u2019re not writing. Have someone change your internet password, and tell them to only give you the new password when you\u2019ve completed your work for the day. Or, enlist a timed program like Freedom to cut off your access for a few hours. There are ways around these solutions, and you could always get up and walk away from the computer\u2014do you need to clean out your closets? Put photos in the albums in chronological order? Knit a sweater?\u2014but the point is stop the mindless surfing of sites like Buzzfeed and Gawker.<\/p>\n \u00a03. Get to the root of why you\u2019re procrastinating. Is it because something else is on your mind? Is it because you\u2019re afraid of failure? Is it because you\u2019re suffering from depression or ADD? Stress can also shut down your writing productivity center, and distraction helps us ignore stress. Unless you seriously examine why you\u2019re not able to focus, you\u2019re going to find yourself backsliding into more procrastination.<\/p>\n 4.\u00a0Some adults go for years with undiagnosed non-neurotypical features like ADD or Aspergers, which affect their ability to focus or manage time effectively. Learning disorders that evaded detection during school years can become unmanageable in adulthood\u2014and often these problems are explained away as laziness, stress, or procrastination.<\/p>\n \u00a0Martyrdom<\/strong>, the passive-aggressive sidekick of procrastination, is defined by a deep need to put everyone else\u2019s problems before your writing. Sometimes, this is unconscious: many writers find themselves at the mercy of family and friends who do not respect a request for uninterrupted writing time. Working writers know this all too well; the phone rings constantly, because people know you\u2019re at home. The house doesn\u2019t get cleaned and the dogs don\u2019t get let out if everyone takes your presence in the home for granted, especially when it appears to them that you are doing \u201cnothing\u201d during your writing time. The problem comes when you allow people to take you for granted, or you don\u2019t see that it\u2019s happening.<\/p>\n But good news! The martyr is totally able to get down off the cross. With a healthy dose of selfishness and stand-up-for-yourself-ittude, you can learn to set boundaries to protect your writing time.<\/p>\n \u00a01. Don\u2019t train your friends and family to neglect themselves. If your spouse needs something laundered, there are directions on the inside of the lid of the washing machine\u2014and they\u2019re in at least two languages, with illustrations. If you\u2019re working on a project with a group, and one member isn\u2019t pulling their weight, don\u2019t pick up the slack all by yourself. If you intervene in someone else\u2019s responsibilities, you teach them that you\u2019ll always be there to rescue them\u2014this goes for children, too. If your children have an urgent need\u2014a bathroom accident, a cut or scrape\u2014that is an unavoidable interruption. Boredom, can\u2019t find the remote, homework projects left until the night before they\u2019re due, are all things that can wait, or result in inevitable consequence. When people around you learn that you work from home or have carved out time to work on your writing, they\u2019ll impose on that time if you let them. Defend your writing time as though it were a small and helpless baby surrounded by hungry tigers.<\/p>\n 2. Do not set an unreasonable schedule for your writing time. This one applies especially to women writers, and even more specifically, to writers who are mothers. When we started writing, a common piece of advice for writers was to stay up after everyone in the household went to bed in order to get quiet writing time. Or, we could get up an hour or two early, before the kids needed to be on the school bus, so we could get a few words in. The problem with this \u201cwisdom\u201d is that it expects the writer to sacrifice their health for their writing and their family. While the spouse and the kids are slumbering peacefully after a long, hard day of you doing everything for them, you\u2019re hunched over the computer, bleary eyed, so as not to inconvenience them. This is productive for no one. Lack of sleep will make you cranky with your offspring, more likely to catch colds (from your diseased spawn), and it will lesson your productivity during the day.<\/p>\n 3. Do not offer. It\u2019s hard to hear about someone else\u2019s problems without wanting to help. Some people are natural fixers. If someone needs something from the store, don’t jump up to get it. When the phone rings and it\u2019s a needy friend desperate to have her love life fixed, don\u2019t answer. Sometimes, an honest conversation is what it takes to set a boundary. However, these conversations need to be repeated. It\u2019s unpleasant, but with practice, it becomes less so. Eventually, someone will try to test the boundary you\u2019ve set, but remain firm. The key to withstanding siege is to fortify your walls. And your food stores.<\/p>\n The Muse:<\/strong> Do not wait for \u201cthe muse.\u201d The muse doesn\u2019t exist. As a writer, you need to write, even if you\u2019re not \u201cfeeling it\u201d or you\u2019re not \u201cinspired.\u201d Inspiration won\u2019t find you, you need to hunt it down\u2014not on pinterest. The only way to keep your head in your story is to continually write it. Even on days when you\u2019re not into it, or you don\u2019t know where the story is going. The muse won\u2019t write your book, no matter how romantic and poetic it may seem.<\/p>\n Talking about your book too much:<\/strong> This is another simple one. If you are constantly explaining to everyone who will listen\u2014and even those who would rather not\u2014about your characters or your world building or your plot twist, you\u2019re going to get as tired of it as those poor saps in the elevator. And when you\u2019re bored with your book, you\u2019re not going to want to write it. You have talked yourself out of a story. Brainstorming is fine, but constantly reciting your story will sap your excitement and drain your creativity.<\/p>\n Perfectionism<\/strong> takes many insidious forms. And we\u2019re going to talk about them right now.<\/p>\n Research-a-holic:<\/strong> How will anyone know that I did my research on 18th century French insane asylums if I don\u2019t ferret out exactly what type of lock they kept on the doors. I should also find out if the walls were made of limestone or cinderblock, and if limestone, where was it quarried?<\/p>\n Sometimes the reader doesn\u2019t really care all that much about the floor plan of the Terrace Room for your character\u2019s Plaza wedding. Sure, you\u2019ll get the occasional expert who will complain in an Amazon review that you specified the wrong type of collar on your medieval heroine\u2019s dress, or the horsepower on the motorcycle your protagonist rides is different from the model you described, but people will complain about things that actually are correct, too. If your research is preventing you from doing actual writing\u2014see also procrastination\u2014then you\u2019re not helping your book, you\u2019re hindering it. Specific details requiring research can be added in during the editing process. Getting your first draft on paper is more important than limestone quarries.<\/p>\n Comparison:<\/strong> \u201cI will never write that well, so why do I bother?\u201d Your favorite author is your favorite author for a reason, but that doesn\u2019t mean you won\u2019t ever become someone else\u2019s favorite author. There are things you can learn from reading another author\u2019s book, but those lessons can\u2019t come through comparison that finds your work lacking. Analyze the things about their work that affect you as a reader, not things that you think are missing from your own writing. Voice is one of the common traps we all fall into\u2014namely, that we can recognize other author\u2019s \u201cvoices,\u201d but we never hear our own. Our prose seems amateurish and unstructured when compared to the books we\u2019re reading. But the books we\u2019re reading are finished products, and the books we\u2019re writing are not. Comparison speaks to a writer\u2019s insecurity, and desire to be the best.<\/p>\n Some competition is healthy\u2014when you\u2019re competing with yourself for a new record time on your run, or number of words written in an hour, you\u2019re pushing yourself toward an obtainable goal. But when you\u2019re competing with others, (someone specific) either consciously or unconsciously, you\u2019re only setting yourself up for failure. Either you\u2019re going to miss the mark and feel bad, or you\u2019re going to attain your goal but never feel satisfied. You\u2019re still measuring your success by someone else\u2019s standards\u2014and there will always be someone doing better than you. It becomes a vicious cycle of self-hatred and hollow successes with fleeting satisfaction. In order to break the cycle, you have to first learn to stop comparing yourself with other writers.<\/p>\n 1. Retrain your brain. If you read a book you really enjoy, and find yourself distracted from that enjoyment by all the ways it is superior to your own work, pause and force yourself to think, \u201cThis a really good book. Good for them. They\u2019re a great writer, and I\u2019m glad I get to enjoy this book.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a02. Learn to celebrate the successes of others. There\u2019s room in the market for everyone. Hardcore readers buy books by the armload. If they buy one written by someone you view as competition, that doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s the only book they\u2019re going to read. They might pick yours up later. If a publisher buys your friend\u2019s book, it doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019ll never sell yours. Snoop Dog and Cameron Diaz knew each other from high school, and they both still got famous. Just because something happens for one person, doesn\u2019t mean it won\u2019t happen for the other.<\/p>\n 3. Set new markers for success. If your joy of writing comes from the number on your royalty check, or the failure of an \u201cenemy\u201d author, you\u2019re not truly enjoying writing. Yes, royalty checks are super awesome, and it\u2019s always fun to watch someone you hate fail (and we would never take that away from you), if you can\u2019t write without these negative rewards, you need to repeat steps one and two, or reevaluate your choice of writing as a career. If you truly do not enjoy it, why keep torturing yourself? If this is the position you\u2019re in, try taking a week off from writing. Every time you think of a new idea or scene while you\u2019re doing some other activity, make a note of it. At the end of your hiatus, if you don\u2019t have anything listed, then you\u2019ve got your answer. If you spend the entire time fretting over how many people are finishing their books before you, how many people are making money that you aren\u2019t, then congratulations, you actually do enjoy writing, but you\u2019ve got a problem that needs to be fixed through self-reflection.<\/p>\n Confusing mental health issues for creativity:<\/strong> More people have heard of Ernest Hemmingway\u2019s alcoholism and suicide than have read any of the words he wrote. Because he was a great writer, his mental illnesses were romanticized and given full credit for his genius. You\u2019ve probably heard, \u201cWrite drunk, edit sober,\u201d as actual writing advice. It\u2019s not uncommon to hear writers in all genres talk about how they bleed for their characters, how they need to \u201chear voices\u201d or become so emotionally invested in their characters that they can no longer separate their own fiction from reality. Get on Twitter on any given night, and you\u2019ll see author after author joking about their wine, as though alcohol consumption equals writer credibility.<\/p>\n Everyone will have that occasional character that they\u2019re especially in tune with, but if you find yourself buying a Christmas present for your friend the character who does not exist, this isn\u2019t a hallmark of genius, but a red flag for mental health. Occasionally having a glass of wine while you\u2019re writing isn\u2019t a cause for concern, but if you\u2019re unable to write without alcohol, or if you feel the need to broadcast your consumption in an attempt to normalize it, you may have a problem.<\/p>\n Writer culture has coopted features of various mental illnesses\u2014we hear voices, we have imaginary friends, we cling to our rituals like a person with obsessive compulsive disorder, and we thrive on having dark, tortured souls. These tendencies, if they are an affectation, are insulting to people who suffer from mental illness at best, and perpetuating misinformation at worst. However, if these are not adopted behaviors romanticized for street cred, they\u2019re serious symptoms of mental illnesses that need to be addressed.<\/p>\n Some writers who are genuinely mentally ill may reject treatment on the grounds that their creativity will be hampered. The truth is, you\u2019re more likely to produce quality work if you\u2019re not mired down in depression or so riddled with anxiety that you can\u2019t think about anything but your fear that your house will burn down.<\/p>\n 1. If you are hearing voices, literally hearing voices, seek help from a medical professional.<\/p>\n \u00a02. Similarly, if you find yourself unable to create without drinking or taking drugs, find an addiction specialist.<\/p>\n \u00a03. Learn the warning signs for depression, ADD, obsessive compulsive disorder, and anxiety. If those warning signs seem to apply to you, talk to a doctor or mental health professional. They can help you with coping strategies and determine the best course of treatment. If you face obstacles in receiving care, don\u2019t give up. Some doctors, like some people, are less informed and sympathetic to mental health issues.<\/p>\n \u00a04. Do not reject medication on the grounds that it will harm your creativity. Don\u2019t let the misplaced romance of the crazy genius stop you from getting the help you need to live a productive life. Alternately, don\u2019t let the stigma of mental health issues dissuade you from seeking treatment.<\/p>\n \u00a05. If you are not experiencing any of these symptoms, but are using them to describe your creative process in a pithy way, consider some alternatives. Mental illness is serious, stigmatized, and the severity is underestimated, and making a joke out of it marginalizes the sufferers. It also makes it difficult for a writer with mental illness to recognize what is the normal writing process and what is a mental health crisis.<\/p>\n \u00a0If you recognize yourself in any of these examples\u2014unless you\u2019re that secondary type of martyr, in which case you will not\u2014take heart, for there is hope. Unfortunately, you\u2019re the only person who can fix these problems. Be honest with yourself; so many of these issues are excuse driven. You don\u2019t have time, so you procrastinate. No one can help themselves, so you have to do it for them. You can\u2019t possibly finish the scene if you can\u2019t describe the type of marble in the foyer of the house your characters are renovating. This is all bullshit. You have the power and the ability to control your own destiny as a writer. Sure, we can\u2019t ensure blockbuster novels and lucrative careers, but we can make sure our books get finished, and that we\u2019re doing the best work we can.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The following is a that Bronwyn Green and I co-authored and presented to the Grand Rapids Region Writers Group, and we thought we’d make it<\/p>\n