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State Of The Trout: We Now Return To Our Regularly Scheduled Program (In A Minute)

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The Mister is drawing to a close. I know you all wish that it could go on forever because you’re fully immersed in the rich, gripping plot but all good things must come to an end. What happens next, though?

Well, we go back to what we were doing before. Beautiful Disaster recaps are returning. Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Angel recaps will come back. I’ll finally finish watching True Blood. And of course, I’ll probably continue to have two or more mental breakdowns per year because that’s just how I live, baby.

But there will be more! So much more! Starting September 6, The Business Centaur’s Virgin Temp will premiere here. It will be available exclusively on this blog in weekly installments. Come see if I can pull off the greatest feat of my writing career: turning an absurd joke idea into an actually decent book.

Can’t wait for September 6? Become a $1 or above Patron of my Patreon in the month of August and you’ll get access to the prologue (featuring Fitshaced Friday meme Blayde Trasket) next week! That’s before anyone else! You can be in the know and tell all your friends.

And finally, in other Patreon-related news, starting this month, $10 and up patrons will be enrolled in Jealous Patrons Book Club, where I will do exclusive recaps. Of what, you ask? Well, we’re gonna start off with an in-depth review of Safe Haven by SnowQueens IceDragon, the Twilight fanfic that became The Mister. Yes, for just ten dollars a month, you’ll experience second-hand all the details SnowQueens IceDragon remembered from her Las Vegas vacation, the overwhelming and gratuitous use of the word “fuck” (1-20 per page), and a heroine even clumsier in fanfic than she is in canon. These recaps will start next week and then there will be at least four a month each month thereafter.

That’s all the news that’s fit to print. In the meantime, spread the good news of John Gayheart Johnson, Business Centaur.

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19 Comments

  1. Sandy
    Sandy

    You had me at Business Centaur, but a new Jealous Hater series? Patreon pledge upped!

    August 20, 2019
    |Reply
  2. Kylie Glessing
    Kylie Glessing

    I missed something–The Mister is from Twilight fanfic called Safe Haven? I thought it was a ripoff of Poldark! I cannot keep up!

    August 20, 2019
    |Reply
    • JennyTrout
      JennyTrout

      I think Poldark got mixed in there on rewrite. The bones of this story are ALL in Safe Haven, though. Dan Olsen said there’s a bit of 50SoG in there, too.

      August 20, 2019
      |Reply
    • Dove
      Dove

      She took from Poldark’s characters and story beats in the same way she took from that real-life DJ Earl, then threw it all into a blender with Albanian sex-trafficking articles and her travel journal. It could’ve worked and been original enough, simply inspiration, but she’s just so terrible at characterization and plots, and clearly doesn’t listen to her editors enough or give herself enough time for revisions, that it didn’t pan out and feels like a ripoff more than an homage.

      August 20, 2019
      |Reply
  3. Kylie Glessing
    Kylie Glessing

    Ohhhh, Eel just cannot leave Twilight alone! Interesting!

    August 20, 2019
    |Reply
  4. Maria
    Maria

    uh, yes please? definitely worth $10 a month.

    August 20, 2019
    |Reply
  5. I’m impressed that you are going to attempt to write a decent book instead of just going full-on into a parody with a Two Dick’d Centaur and the Virgin Temp Who Wants Both of Them.

    August 20, 2019
    |Reply
  6. Barbara Jane
    Barbara Jane

    I, personally, am pretty psyched to get back to Beautiful Disaster. I read that dumpster fire when you first started recapping and I’ve been waiting for you to return to it! It was terrible!!!

    August 20, 2019
    |Reply
    • Elyssa
      Elyssa

      The fun thing about those is that book ENRAGES me whereas The Mister has, for the most part, been at least 150 page of filler and that just vaguely irritates me. Ready to get back to blinding rage. lol

      August 20, 2019
      |Reply
    • NavigatorBR
      NavigatorBR

      I read it too. I can’t wait for us to get to certain sections, because…. *Deep breath*… Stuff happens.

      August 20, 2019
      |Reply
  7. Morgan H.
    Morgan H.

    That is so wild that I had to reread the post to ensure I’d gotten it right. The Mister is *yet another* fanfic with serial numbers scraped off??? For real??? If I get the $$ raise, I will sign up for Patreon just for that.

    Also stoked for more Beautiful Disaster! It was the right mix of absurd and poorly written to be a particularly entertaining recap.

    August 20, 2019
    |Reply
    • Morgan H.
      Morgan H.

      Oh my god I just looked it up and the cursing! Edward says the fuck-word a stunning 1000+ times. Edward. Edward *Cullen*. The same Edward Cullen who drives a Volvo and didn’t nut even once in 100 years in canon.

      Anyway, it’s nice to see Erika’s dreadful grasp of characterization and prose was consistent even before she became a quadrillionaire.

      August 20, 2019
      |Reply
  8. Maile
    Maile

    Woohoo

    August 20, 2019
    |Reply
  9. Amy Too
    Amy Too

    Can you tell me more about where we’ll get to access the jealous patron book club recaps if we become $10 patron? Will those recaps be be on the Patreon site? I’ve not been to the Patreon site so I don’t know how that works. Do they get emailed to us? Are they on here but somehow only visible to patrons?

    August 20, 2019
    |Reply
    • JennyTrout
      JennyTrout

      Sure thing! Right now, my plan to release the recaps only on Patreon. The way that works is, once you’ve created an account and selected that pledge tier, you’ll get an email when I post new content, or you can log into your Patreon account and the posts pop up in your feed. 😀

      August 21, 2019
      |Reply
      • Amy Too
        Amy Too

        Oh good! That makes sense. I wanted to make sure that the posts weren’t going to end up on some platform I don’t have like Facebook. (I don’t know why they would show up there, but just checking.)

        August 21, 2019
        |Reply
  10. Thea
    Thea

    can anyone link me to the original discussion about the business centaur? i want to relive the convo while awaiting the story. ❤️

    August 22, 2019
    |Reply

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