Monthly Archives: March 2009

Car go vrooom

Here’s something I’ve been thinking about. I’m reading a book, and I’m getting little quetionzies in my head. The biggest of which is:

If you were a powerful vampire with a sprawling mansion and gobs upon gobs of money, would you buy a BMW?

If you answer was “Um, no,” you are correct. If your answer was, “Yes, but only for target practice,” you are also correct. If your answer was, “That is the fanciest car I can think of,” CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR PUBLISHING SUCCESS.

What on earth are some authors thinking? If you have an enormous, heavily fortified castle, loads of servants, and piles of gold bullion just lying about, you’re not going to buy a car the moms at my kid’s school drive. You’re going to buy something awesome! Something fast and shiny that can reach dangerous speeds because you’re A DOGGAMNED VAMPIRE.

YOU ARE GOING TO BUY A BUGATTI VEYRON. 0-60 IN 2.5 AND YOU’RE NOT GOING TO WEAR YOUR SEATBELT, CHESTER, BECAUSE YOU ARE A VAMPIRE.

Alternately, if you like something a little less flashy, something you can drive without everyone thinking you have a penis the size of a gnat, you could get a Maybach 62.

BMW DOES NOT ENTER THE EQUATION.

That is all.