Skip to content

Month: September 2018

State Of The Trout: Deadline Week, High World Of Warcraft, and Patreon

Posted in Uncategorized

It’s deadline week here at Trout HQ! I’m writing a ridiculous amount of words per day to bring The Boyfriend in on time for a November release, so pardon the sparse updates. Today, I offer you a video of me, super high, trying to play a class I’ve never played before in World Of Warcraft.

 

Next week, expect a super long Spooky Story Time video about the tour and paranormal lock-in of the Sorrel-Weed House in Savannah, GA that I participated in over the summer.

The long blog drought won’t last forever. Just hopefully until I finish the book at this end of this week. In the meantime, more news! After requests from some blog readers and social media followers, I’ve reopened my Patreon! You can find the details here. All but one of the rewards is digital; physical rewards became overwhelming and caused me to stop doing the thing altogether. This part is important: if you were a Patron before and you didn’t un-patronize me (is that a thing?) you might find yourself getting charged now that it’s open again. If you no longer want to support me via Patreon, be sure you go cancel your monthly donation. I don’t want to surprise steal from you.

I’m going back into the writey-hole. Please throw stroopwaffles and coffee down to me at regular intervals.

Please make sure the coffee is in a container of some kind.

Jenny Plays The Sims 4!

Posted in Uncategorized

I’ve still got my head down and my nose to the grindstone on The Boyfriend, but I did manage to sneak in a couple hours of video games over the weekend. And by “managed” I mean, I absolutely had to because my manuscript was starting to look a little sketchy…

An animated gif of the typewrite from The Shining with the words "All work and no play make Jack a dull boy" all over the page.

 

Anyway, here’s me playing the Sims 4 after drinking approximately a bottle of champagne. Next week, I’ll be back with another Spooky Story Time.

 

 

How To Describe Things: An Interlude

Posted in Uncategorized

FADE IN
INT: BEDROOM – DAY

MR. JEN and JENNY are in bed, watching television. Jenny is a beautiful cougar aging like expensive cheese. Mr. Jen should have been nicer to her in the following conversation, but he doesn’t appreciate her descriptive flare so he can suck it. He can suck the whole thing.

JENNY
Ugh. I hurt. Like, I hurt so bad that I feel like I should be lying in one of those big beds with the thick wooden posts and the canopies… Like when you see someone and they’re laying on all the pillows, they’re kind of propped up? And then they’re like, [wheezing voice] “Bring me my eldest son.”

MR. JEN
Eldest son?

JENNY
And then the son comes in and [wheezing voice] “My son. You have a great responsibility now. The kingdom relies on you.”

MR. JEN
Wait. Are you– are you a king in this scenario?

JENNY
(continuing in wheezing voice)
“It is a great burden that you must bear.”

MR. JEN
What are you talking about?

JENNY
Yeah, I’m a king. I’m the king, I’m propped up on the pillows and I’m dying. That’s how I feel right now.

MR. JEN
[BEAT] Why do you have to be so dramatic?

JENNY
Because I am describing it at you. I’m describing at you how bad I feel right now.

MR. JEN
But why are you a king? Why aren’t you just on your deathbed?

JENNY
I am on my deathbed! I think I made it pretty clear that this is a king on his deathbed.

MR. JEN
But why did you have to pick a king?

JENNY
Who else was I going to pick to convey that image?

MR. JEN
Literally anyone!

JENNY
But it only works if I describe it well! That’s my job. I describe situations and I make people feel ways about them!

MR. JEN
I know that but you don’t write it that ridiculous.

JENNY
Everything I write is ridiculous!

There is a long pause. Jenny arranges the pillows carefully behind her, mimicking the pose of a dying king in a movie.

JENNY
I feel like I’m being stabbed in the shoulder by some kind of powerful warrior.

MR. JEN
Oh my god.

FADE OUT
FIN

State Of The Trout: Spooky Story Time and Ow, My Frickin Head

Posted in Uncategorized

Hey everybody. This post is brought to you by a debilitating migraine and brain zaps that I am almost 100% positive is the result of receiving a different generic prescription than I’m used to. Hence, no True Blood, since just one of Sookie’s high-pitched screams would split my head in twain. But I do have this:

It took me all freaking weekend to upload, but I had intended to drop it on Friday night. This all worked out for the better.

As for this here blog, posting is going to be sporadic during the month of September, as I’m focusing on finishing The Boyfriend so there’s ample time to edit it before it releases in November. Expect to see more videos, as those are easier to make while also writing your ass off.

I’ll also still be doing Drunk Tarot on Saturday nights. 10 P.M. EST on my Facebook page.

Now, I’ll be taking my painful and broken head to the dentist, where I’m sure having a light shined in my face and machinery stuffed into my mouth won’t exacerbate things at all!