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Two things I yelled in my sleep, and some dreams.

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Two things I yelled in my sleep last night:

  1. “The headphones are winning!”
  2. “This isn’t Seaquest, bitch!”
Some dreams I had last night:
  • A nightmare caused by I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant, in which Mr. Jen refused to let me name our surprise baby Tina Fey Armintrout. Neither would he allow me to name it Tina Poehler Armintrout.
  • I was somehow involved in a Les Miserables style political uprising.
  • The new season of Game of Thrones had an uncomfortably heavy emphasis on vaginal secretions.
  • I got to meet Tom Hanks in person.

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16 Comments

  1. For some reason, I am laughing like a retarded seal. XD BELIEVE IN YOUR DREAMS

    March 21, 2013
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  2. Koschki
    Koschki

    I love weird dreams! I once dreamt that President Obama was involved in a game of spin the bottle with the heads of the G8, except François Hollande (I don't know why he wasn't there, but I distinctly remember Angela Merkel), two nurses and a body double of Che Guevara.
    Obama ended up kissing the Che Guevara double and I just thought, that Fox News was going to have a field day with that image.

    And I once woke myself up screaming, when I dreamt that I had to chase away three Neo-Nazis. Scared my roommate shitless, since I was pretty loud. She came stumbling into my room, asking what was wrong.

    Oh what fun we had. Her not so much, though. She couldn't understand my answer, as I was still a bit on the mumbly side.

    March 21, 2013
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  3. I think my favorite dream anyone has ever had came tom one of my roommates. He once had a dream that he was on a riverboat with Jimmy Carter and all Jimmy Carter could say was “cock” and “Moses.”.

    I still burst out laughing every time I think about that.

    March 21, 2013
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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    March 21, 2013
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  5. Retard High-five! And Jen, even your dreams are fun! Keep Rocking XD

    March 21, 2013
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  6. Anonymous
    Anonymous

    I used to have these weird recurring dreams where stuff like lions and grizzly bears were outside my parents house and I would have to run to the garage to get my dad's gun to save us all. Then this dude in Southern Ohio let loose all of his exotic animals (including lions, tigers and bears…oh my) and the dreams stopped.

    I live in Columbus. I guess they no longer “mean” anything deep so I stopped dreaming about them. Weird.

    March 21, 2013
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  7. For a second, I thought that said you got to meet Tom Hanks in prison, ha.

    March 21, 2013
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  8. M. Bryn Schut
    M. Bryn Schut

    Apparently the other night I woke my boyfriend up because I was twitching in my sleep. Then he heard me mumble. As he leaned in to decipher what I was saying, the only phrase he could make out was “masturbating with a carrot.” Apparently he laughed himself sick for a moment and then went back to sleep.

    I have no excuse for the comment, as my dream involved neither masturbation nor carrots. In fact, I was dreaming something totally mundane, and I'm actually disappointed that I can't find a connection between the dream and the phrase.

    March 22, 2013
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  9. had a dream once that I didn't know I was pregnant and gave birth to a surprise baby girl in the house that I'm living in now, BEFORE I even moved in. I didn't make the connection until we'd been living here already for 6 months…

    March 22, 2013
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  10. Anonymous
    Anonymous

    I got to meet Tom Hanks in a recent dream as well! He was shooting a movie at my mum's house. Isn't he the nicest?

    March 22, 2013
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  11. Serenity
    Serenity

    My bf talks in his sleep, usually about food or me. He has an obsession w “fly shlimps.”

    March 22, 2013
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  12. Jessica
    Jessica

    I love you, and this blog, so much. Thanks for being so great.

    March 22, 2013
    |Reply
  13. Anonymous
    Anonymous

    I hope for you that Christian Grey isn't sleeping in your bed, otherwise he would've made sure you kept to everything you said while asleep – and imagine what would've happened if the headphones had /lost/…,

    March 23, 2013
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  14. Man, I used to watch Seaquest even though I didn't really like it because, ya know, Jonathan Brandis. RIP.

    March 25, 2013
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  15. Anonymous
    Anonymous

    I have creepy foreshadowing dreams all. the. time.
    I mean, I've dreamt of everything from meeting my bf to having my daughter and living life with them… several years before any of it happened. In the dreams, they were blank faces with the bodies they have at that time in reality. It's freaking weird. Especially when the deja-vu moment happens and I announce I dreamt it before, and I get those “stop it you're not a psychic dreamer” stares.

    May 1, 2013
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    February 3, 2014
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