So, a bunch of cool stuff happened on my trip to the UP. Despite breaking my personal word count record by logging a cool 30k words in a single week, I also managed to exact revenge on Bronwyn Green for her earlier Weeping Angel prank (WARNING: tons of screaming, shaky camera images, and the mortal sin of vertical recording):
While we were in the UP, Jess Jarman and I did a lot of talking about fanfic, and the subject of RPF ship names came up. We created an RPF ship name for my OTP, TroutHead. Apologies to Mr. Jen.
Are you in the mood to read a really sarcastic essay about being fat? You’re in luck! I shared my bikini experience at the Huffington Post and it is super snarky.
Also, DRock got bit by a horse! And it looks like an apple!
So, heads up, Fox, if you ever produce “When Horses Attack,” you know who to call.
thank you for tbe huff post bikini post. you really ministered to my spirit. And made me glad.
PHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
“The reason these people do not want to see a fat body in a bikini is because traditionally, that garment is something a woman earns by proving herself attractive enough to exist. If fat women begin wearing them without shame or fear, what’s next? Will they have self-esteem? Will they demand respect? Then what will keep them in their proper place? How would conventionally attractive people judge them?”
I love this paragraph so, so much. Thank you for that most excellent article!
Me too. That resonated so hard with me. Jenny: you’re my FAVORITE.
It’s a cutiemark! It’s Applejack! Or maybe Big Mac, I don’t know… though Big Macs cutiemark is a green apple, and Applejacks apples are red; hmmm….
Dare I ask how she managed to get bit by a horse??
I loved the huffing ton post article. Really made me laugh – as well as making a point
Or even Huffington. Sodding auto correct.
If some one needs to be updated with hottest technologies
afterward he must be go to see this web site and be up to date daily.
Troutheads, Troutheads, roly poly Troutheads…
Yes, I’m still reading through your old posts. And stuff like this is why. The Huffington Post piece is hilarious, and spot on. I haven’t forgotten first seeing your Copper Harbor two-piece photos a decade ago (you look so pretty, by the way), and how much I wanted your confidence.
I write that as someone who used to practically live in the water, but who put on a ton of weight during a long depressive episode. I transitioned from swimsuit to swimsuit under a t-shirt, then swimsuit under a shirt and shorts, then under a shirt and full-length pants – making fewer and fewer visits to the water all the time. And now it’s been years since I’ve gone at all. I’m just too embarrassed. I am too embarrassed for someone else’s eyes to see the clothes clinging to my fat and fully behold my failure as a person. As a human.
I think people who have never truly been fat don’t understand how mentally debilitating it can be. I’ve never been thin, but this was a transition to something entirely different. I used to work out three to five times a week. I had an active job and was active in my off-time. I had romantic partners and serious relationships. Then a series of events blew that apart. Most of them were things I had no control over, and no coping skills to handle, as it turned out. And some of the activities that *would* have helped me cope, or at least given me a healthy outlet, became off-limits. I was ashamed to let myself get fatter, but every pound made it more difficult to go out and do anything about it. I would be seen. I would be judged. Other people would (accurately, I thought) realize what a worthless piece of shit I was. My weight ballooned out of control, and, for a while, I became almost a shut-in. I knew I shouldn’t really care what other people thought, or even what they said. But I did. I still do. You might as well tell me not to let my hair grow; I have just as much idea how to stop one as the other.
And, just for the record, for anyone thinking it’s not that bad and the fatties of the world should just get over it and grow a thicker skin…. The dehumanizing is real. And it isn’t just internal. Walking across a parking lot to a bookstore, a young man about 20 years old and at least 100 feet away pointed at me and said to his group of friends (loud enough for me to hear very plainly), “Woah, look at the fat chick!” And they laughed at the good joke of…my existence, apparently. On multiple occasions while riding a public bus, the only seat not taken was one next to me. Even though I was neat and clean and nicely dressed and scrunched against the wall so that I didn’t overflow into the other seat space and wore a friendly face. Dozens of people chose to stand instead of sitting beside me…and potentially catching “the fat,” I guess. At work, I overheard my supervisor speaking with another department leader, saying I did a great job but they didn’t think I’d ever get a promotion because of how I looked. Essentially, higher management didn’t want to have to see fat people all the time. I actually saw this born out when a manager harassed another obese worker until she publicly broke down and eventually quit. The person who replaced her didn’t do half as good of a job, but hey, at least they weren’t fat. In fact, none of the site management or administration are fat – not one. Several take weight loss drugs, and others have had weight loss surgeries, yet none of them have ever been obese. But I’m sure it’s coincidence and nothing to do with company culture or social standards or peer pressure or anything like that.
It must also be a coincidence that I find your posts so powerful and accurate, even these many years later.