Trout Nation Posts

In every generation, there is a chosen one. She alone is seeing Billy Joel in concert today. She will also recap every episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer with an eye to the following themes:

1. Sex is the real villain of the Buffy The Vampire Slayer universe.
2. Giles is totally in love with Buffy.
3. Joyce is a fucking terrible parent.
4. Willow’s magic is utterly useless (this one won’t be an issue until season 2, when she gets a chance to become a witch)
5. Xander is a textbook Nice Guy.
6. The show isn’t as feminist as people claim.
7. All the monsters look like wieners.
8. If ambivalence to possible danger were an Olympic sport, Team Sunnydale would take the gold.
9. Angel is a dick.
10. Harmony is the strongest female character on the show.
11. Team sports are portrayed in an extremely negative light.
12. Some of this shit is racist as fuck.
13. Science and technology are not to be trusted.
14. Mental illness is stigmatized.
15. Only Willow can use a computer.
16. Buffy’s strength is flexible at the plot’s convenience.
17. Cheap laughs and desperate grabs at plot plausibility are made through Xenophobia.
18. Oz is the Anti-Xander
19. Spike is capable of love despite his lack of soul
20. Don’t freaking tell me the vampires don’t need to breathe because they’re constantly out of frickin’ breath.
21. The foreshadowing on this show is freaking amazing.
22. Smoking is evil.
23. Despite praise for its positive portrayal of non-straight sexualities, some of this shit is homophobic as fuck.
24. How do these kids know all these outdated references, anyway?
25. Technology is used inconsistently as per its convenience in the script.
26. Sunnydale residents are no longer shocked by supernatural attacks.
27. Casual rape dismissal/victim blaming a-go-go
28. Snyder believes Buffy is a demon or other evil entity.
29. The Scoobies kind of help turn Jonathan into a bad guy.
30. This show caters to the straight/bi female gaze like whoa.
31. Sunnydale General is the worst hospital in the world.
32. Faith is hyper-sexualized needlessly.
33. Slut shame!
34. The Watchers have no fucking clue what they’re doing.
35. Vampire bites, even very brief ones, are 99.8% fatal.
36. Economic inequality is humorized and oversimplified.

Have I missed any that were added in past recaps? Let me know in the comments.  Even though I might forget that you mentioned it.

WARNING: Some people have mentioned they’re watching along with me, and that’s awesome, but I’ve seen the entire series already and I’ll probably mention things that happen in later seasons. So… you know, take that under consideration, if you’re a person who can’t enjoy something if you know future details about it.

It’s that time of the week when I answer your anonymous questions about writing and all that stuff connected to it. Every Thursday, I’ll be answering two questions from the Big Damn Writer Question Box.

In every generation, there is a chosen one. She alone has a zit on the side of her head that just will not go away. She will also recap every episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer with an eye to the following themes:

1. Sex is the real villain of the Buffy The Vampire Slayer universe.
2. Giles is totally in love with Buffy.
3. Joyce is a fucking terrible parent.
4. Willow’s magic is utterly useless (this one won’t be an issue until season 2, when she gets a chance to become a witch)
5. Xander is a textbook Nice Guy.
6. The show isn’t as feminist as people claim.
7. All the monsters look like wieners.
8. If ambivalence to possible danger were an Olympic sport, Team Sunnydale would take the gold.
9. Angel is a dick.
10. Harmony is the strongest female character on the show.
11. Team sports are portrayed in an extremely negative light.
12. Some of this shit is racist as fuck.
13. Science and technology are not to be trusted.
14. Mental illness is stigmatized.
15. Only Willow can use a computer.
16. Buffy’s strength is flexible at the plot’s convenience.
17. Cheap laughs and desperate grabs at plot plausibility are made through Xenophobia.
18. Oz is the Anti-Xander
19. Spike is capable of love despite his lack of soul
20. Don’t freaking tell me the vampires don’t need to breathe because they’re constantly out of frickin’ breath.
21. The foreshadowing on this show is freaking amazing.
22. Smoking is evil.
23. Despite praise for its positive portrayal of non-straight sexualities, some of this shit is homophobic as fuck.
24. How do these kids know all these outdated references, anyway?
25. Technology is used inconsistently as per its convenience in the script.
26. Sunnydale residents are no longer shocked by supernatural attacks.
27. Casual rape dismissal/victim blaming a-go-go
28. Snyder believes Buffy is a demon or other evil entity.
29. The Scoobies kind of help turn Jonathan into a bad guy.
30. This show caters to the straight/bi female gaze like whoa.
31. Sunnydale General is the worst hospital in the world.
32. Faith is hyper-sexualized needlessly.
33. Slut shame!
34. The Watchers have no fucking clue what they’re doing.
35. Vampire bites, even very brief ones, are 99.8% fatal.
36. Economic inequality is humorized and oversimplified.

Have I missed any that were added in past recaps? Let me know in the comments.  Even though I might forget that you mentioned it.

WARNING: Some people have mentioned they’re watching along with me, and that’s awesome, but I’ve seen the entire series already and I’ll probably mention things that happen in later seasons. So… you know, take that under consideration, if you’re a person who can’t enjoy something if you know future details about it.

Here’s the file, and you know what to do, folks! That’s right, hit play right after the HBO sound/logo fades.

It’s that time of the week when I answer your anonymous questions about writing and all that stuff connected to it. Every Thursday, I’ll be answering two questions from the Big Damn Writer Question Box.

FADE IN

INT. BEDROOM, DAY.

JENNY TROUT lounges on her bed, pondering all the vast scope of the cosmos within. Also, she’s recently smoked marijuana. Her husband, MR. JEN, sits annoyedly beside her, trying to watch a television show.

JENNY
You know what would be an amazing job? If you could make those balloon animals.

Mr. Jen doesn’t not answer or acknowledge her.

JENNY
Just think about it. That business is all profit. You can buy a bag of those balloons for like, a dollar. Then you sell, what, you make swords and flowers? And you go, okay, this sword is two-fifty. Or two dollars. You sell just one and that’s it. It’s pure profit from one sword or whatever. There’s practically no overhead. All you have you have to do is learn to make those balloon swords and animals.

Mr. Jen sighs heavily. The volume of the television rises, not subtly.

JENNY
There’s no overhead. I would do that.

MR. JEN
You’re terrified of balloons.

JENNY
If I wasn’t afraid of balloons. I would do it if I wasn’t afraid of balloons.

During a lengthy pause in the conversation, Mr. Jen visibly relaxes, trying to enjoy his show.

JENNY
There’s no overhead.

Mr. Jen has finally had it.

MR. JEN
There’s your time! You’re losing your time!

JENNY
Right, but that’s any job. And you’d be making ninety percent profit.

MR. JEN
Except for the alcohol.

JENNY
What alcohol?

MR. JEN
All the alcohol I’d have to drink to cope with that fact that your job is selling balloon animals!

[FADE OUT]

THE END

On Sunday, Jodie Whittaker was announced as the next Doctor Who (and yes, I can say “the next Doctor Who” because he was called “Doctor Who” in the credits through Tom Baker’s run at least), and I wanted to capture my daughter, Wednesday, reacting to the news. I posted the video on Twitter, and it went viral. Because I’ve now licensed it through a media company (because my phone was ringing nonstop and the requests from media outlets were overwhelming me), I’m not sure I can even share it here without paying for it, but you can see her reaction in this clip from BBC Breakfast. She’s the one screaming “The new Doctor is a girl!”:

Anyway, since then, my twitter has exploded. As of right now, the original tweet has been favorited 72,000 times and retweeted 20,000 times. I just did a live interview on BBC radio. This has blown up wildly.

Because of that, there are probably some people just now finding this blog through various channels, and you’re likely looking for Doctor Who related stuff. So, here is a list of Doctor Who posts I’ve made in the past:

• Peter Capaldi wishing me a happy birthday
• My 20th Who-nniversary
• Motivational Doctors pt. 1
• Motivational Doctors pt. 2
• My American Girl doll gets a Doctor Who cosplay costume to match mine.
• My cousin D-Rock and I take a Doctor Who survey

Maybe start with the 20th Who-nniversary post and go from there? I don’t know, I’m not going to tell you how to live your life.

Anyway, it’s been a whirlwind of commotion over here. If you found me because of the video, awesome, welcome! Poke around at things. I say occasionally funny stuff that you might enjoy. Or, consider trying one of the many books I’ve written, located in the “Read Jenny’s Books” link above.