Skip to content

Author: JennyTrout

Jennifer Morningstar’s debut: all the news you need to know!

Posted in Uncategorized

In 2020 (maybe 2021, let’s be honest, everything post-2019 is going to be just one long blur for most of us), I announced that with the retirement of my Abigail Barnette pen name, I would shift my focus away from erotic romance and to erotica. I planned to launch this new venture by republishing In The Blood, a previously published vampire novel, under that new pseudonym. I opened it up to give it a quick once-over and suddenly I’m balls deep in a rewrite that takes it from paranormal erotica to full-out erotic horror. I thought, well, now Jennifer Morningstar is gonna be put on hold for a while.

Then, I was just tootling along in my files a few days ago and I ran across two books I had pretty much forgotten that I’d written. Infernal Devices and Bound In Brass are steampunk erotica previously published by a small press. The rights reverted to me and I never got around to re-publishing them. They’ve just been languishing in my writing folder. Languishing and being, well. Pretty hot.

Do you like straight-laced Victorian dudes who own and operate a secret steampunk sex dungeon? What if they had tattoos and like, piercings in places that would be covered by respectable Victorian dude clothes? What about sexually curious good girls who can’t resist a good time with an aether-powered fucking machine? Now, how do you feel about getting a second chance to snag some out-of-print titles with all those features?

WELL GUESS WHAT.

Coming December 30th, 2021:

A shirtless man with his forearms in front of his face. there's a tattoo of an ace of spades on his forearm. The title INFERNAL DEVICES is at the top of the image, at the bottom a frame of gears surrounds the text "Jennifer Morningstar"

The Two Aces. Victorian London’s most salacious secret, the club is a place where erotic fantasies are played out among clockwork automatons and aether-powered machines. Where nothing is off-limits and the pleasures are as wicked as the imagination will allow…

Permilia Deering goes to The Two Aces looking for the sexual excitement that she knows she will not find with the man to whom she is affianced, notorious cold-fish Wallace Sterling. On her first visit to the club, she meets the Ace of Spades, a masked stranger who drives her to heights of passion she’s never dreamed possible—and makes her seriously reconsider becoming a mannerly society wife.

When Wallace Sterling first glimpses his fiancée standing outside The Two Aces, he assumes she’s uncovered his secret identity—the Ace of Spades. But Permilia has no idea that her intended is living a double life, and Wallace worries that he’ll be out of the picture once she gets a taste of what the Ace of Spades can offer her…

PRE-ORDER NOW!

Amazon • Smashwords 

Coming February 1, 2022:

muscular man with his face in shadow. tattoo of the ace of hearts on his bicep. At the top, the title BOUND IN BRASS. At the bottom, in a frame of gears, is the author name, Jennifer Morningstar

The Two Aces. Victorian London’s most salacious secret, the club is a place where erotic fantasies are played out among clockwork automatons and aether-powered machines. Where nothing is off-limits and the pleasures are as wicked as the imagination will allow…

Tallulah Applewhite is an American widow abroad, finding all the pleasures Europe has to offer. She gets more than she bargained for when she ventures into The Two Aces and meets the man known as the Ace of Hearts. Their sexual encounters push her to the very limits of desire, and together they find just what her unhappy marriage was missing.

Horace Sterling has never wanted anything that he couldn’t have, but he’s surprised at how much he wants this fresh Georgia Peach. Uninhibited and alluring, she enflames his passion like no other. The only thing more scandalous than taking up with a widow who should be in mourning would be taking up with a married woman—and both he and Tallulah are in for the shock of their lives…

PRE-ORDER NOW!
Amazon • Smashwords
But wait! There’s more!
In December, Jennifer Morningstar will also republish two steampunk short stories that have been available here and there for the past decade, but which have been out-of-print more than in-print. These will be totally free on YouPorn.com, where you’ll also get exclusive previews of Infernal Devices and Bound in Brass. Don’t want to visit a pornography site? The shorts will be available to purchase on Amazon and Smashwords.
Keep your eyes on the blog for more information as it becomes available (and check this pinned post for the Amazon pre-order links when they become available). I’m so excited to ring in the new year with a new direction, new pen name, and an air of general horniness.

The Business Centaur’s Virgin Temp, Chapter Nine

Posted in Uncategorized

Need to catch up?

Jealous Haters Book Club: Crave, chapter 7: Something Really Freaking Wicked This Way Comes

Posted in Uncategorized

CW: mention of rape tropes

Yes, I’m a lax blogger. It’s been since AUGUST since I posted a Crave recap. But in my defense, I was off finding myself and shit like that.

Hey. People have been giving book deals for less. I was finding myself for free.

Let’s rock and roll on into this chapter, which is a lovely change of pace from reading A Court of Thorns and Roses over on my Patreon. That’s like getting hit in the face with a tennis racket wrapped in barbed wire and rape every time I open the Kindle app on my computer.

SPEAKING OF KINDLES: Massive thank you to Lorne Kates, who is sending me a Kindle to replace mine, which fucking vanished into the ether at some point. Thank you, Lorne, for allowing me to continue my frantic binge of blue alien peenus books without having to stare at a computer or phone screen to do it.

Now, let’s get into this recap!

The bar cannot be lowered. The bar has hit the magma core of the earth.

Posted in Uncategorized

This is a short post because honestly, there’s not a lot to say about this other than, “well, that’s predictable.” Because it has never been a surprise to see shitty people’s shitness ignored in favor of cash. It’s just how the world works and I think we’re all pretty comfortable with stating that as a blanket truth, right?

Jamie McGuire’s Beautiful Disaster is getting a movie adaptation.

I’m not sure if that news has been officially announced by McGuire because I’m not a QAnon conspiracy theorist so I don’t follow her on Parler, but I got a DM from a true MVP that included these screenshots:

Back when she was still on Twitter, McGuire tweeted the following:

a tweet from Jamie McGuire, text in post body

McGuire’s text reads, “Look who’s reading Beautiful Disaster… Director/writer Roger Kumble. Just wrapped the After We Collided movie. Maybe let him know how you’d feel about a BD movie? #gofam #timetogetexcited” above a tweet she’s quoted from Roger Kumble, in which he’s apparently listing books he’s reading right now.

And whoa, hey, look what ole Roger is up to:

text heavy, crucial text is in the body of the post

As my source kindly highlighted here, “Untitled Roger Kumble Project” is a feature film going into production in Bulgaria in October, 2021. And it sounds…familiar. I mean, the synopsis is, “Allie plans to spend college buried in books, but those plans go out the window when she meets Davis Molloy, an amateur bare-knuckle boxer and college campus charmer.” So, has Kumble ripped off McGuire’s magnum opus?

No. You see, Kumble is no newcomer to Hollywood. He directed his first film, Cruel Intentions (yes, that Cruel Intentions) in 1999. So, surely he’s aware that certain unsavory connections to “Untitled Roger Kumble Project” could make it difficult to cast or distribute.

For example, the fact that his source material was written by an anti-vaccine, election-fraud-conspiracy-peddling Parler princess who has:

  • Defended U.S. terrorist Kyle Rittenhouse and stated that she would “riot” if he’s not cleared of all charges
  • Fat shamed a child on Facebook
  • Whole-throatedly agreed with J.K. Rowling’s stance on transgender women
  • Posted a Facebook status lamenting the death of Ahmad Arbery on her publicly facing author profile while agreeing with Candace Owen’s take that Arbery was shot for being a criminal
  • Made “Trump Cult Aunt” her online brand

McGuire is basically Kimberly Guilfoyle with a fading publishing career and worse plastic surgery. But Beautiful Disaster will be a movie.

You know. The book with the title that was tattooed on one of the January 6th insurgents. The book by the author who’s on the side of the people who tried to assassinate our former vice president and a whole bunch of congress members.

I’m sorry to be the one to bring this news to you, Trout Nation. I ask only that you don’t hate watch the damn thing when it comes out on Netflix or whatever. Because the algorithm won’t know that you’re hate watching it. And you’ll be putting money in the pocket of someone who’s already tried to run for an elected position once before. You might just be funding her next campaign.

This Viral BookTok Recommendation Is Better Than It Should Be (Part One)

Posted in Uncategorized

CW: Rape

I have little patience for books that “go viral,” especially on a platform like TikTok, where the readers by and large seem to care more about whether or not the cover is going to look good on their bookshelf ringed with white Christmas lights than about whatever is in the actual text. For example, one of the big BookTok sensations was that Maas rip-off, From Barf and Ass, that turned out to be racist, anti-semitic, straight-up qanon propaganda written by a thieving, plagiarizing, list-gaming, review-buying, way-too-flattering-to-the-point-of-catfishing-selfie-posting cunt whose name escapes me.

But weirdly, two BookTok recs that I picked up solely to revel in what I assumed would be head-on garbage truck collisions, turned out to be way, way better than they should have been.

Yes. I am talking about the blue alien two-pronged dick book and the minotaur jack-off story.

Look. You know me. You know that I say what I think about stuff. Like, see the above lying, two-faced, fugly cunt reference. Remember, the new policy is “if I think it, I say it.” No brakes. So, I’m not blowing smoke up your collective asses here.

These books are, against all reason and logic…REALLY GOOD. But be advised, this is not a spoiler-free review.

In this post, let’s talk about the blue alien peeeeeeeenus. Ruby DIxon’s Ice Planet Barbarians.

During the days of Alexa Riley and the KU scam squad, I was super suspicious of Ruby. First, because she’s a pen name for an author who, at the time, at least, associated closely with Alexa Riley and other KU scammers. I was keeping track of releases from about four authors at that time because of their associations with known scammers and the pace of their releases. But while the pattern of Alexa Riley’s releases ultimately proved them to be straight-up cons, I eventually concluded that “Ruby” and her other pen name were just quick writers.

That didn’t mean I wasn’t ready to laugh my ass off at how bad a book called Ice Planet Barbarians, from a series that includes a novella with the title Ice, Ice Babies, absolutely had to be.

Reader: I consumed the first three in two days.

the special edition cover of Ice Planet Barbarians. A long-haired woman with a spear stands in front of a blue humanoid male figure whose tail wraps around her.

So, let me break it down for you: book one, Ice Planet Barbarians (seen above with its nifty new cover from Berkley) opens with the heroine, Georgie, getting scooped up by violent, horrible aliens who are collecting young, fertile human females and transporting them like livestock. Some of them are frozen in stasis chambers, but Georgie and some others are shoved in a cell with a bucket to shit in and nothing else in the way of survival. When Georgie rallies the non-stasised women to attack their captors, the aliens dump their cargo on a planet that the human women refer to as “Not-Hoth.” They’re discovered by sexy blue aliens who live primitive lives in caves…and whose species is on the verge of extinction due to their lack of fertile females.

“This sounds like something I could read on Literotica, Jenny,” you may be thinking. And to be fair to the writers over at Literotica, yeah. Because there is excellent science-fiction erotica on there, too. But there’s a reason why those stories are well-written, and that’s because, just like Ruby Dixon, the authors are clearly not writing these stories for other people. The moment I started Ice Planet Barbarians, I recognized that it was written by someone familiar with and who enjoys the science fiction genre and who wrote this story entirely for herself. The fact that enough people enjoyed it to make it go viral? That’s just a bonus.

The worldbuilding in this series is incredible. I remained somewhat skeptical about the idea of these savage blue aliens running around their native planet like Avatar. I was thinking, oh great, this is one of those books where “blue people” are stand-ins for indigenous people so that white ladies can get their racist rocks off now that historical romances of that ilk are looked down upon. I was pleasantly surprised to learn, in the well-paced unfolding of details, that the Sa-Khui aren’t native to the planet at all. They’re actually the survivors of a spaceship crash who have been stranded on the hostile, barren planet for generations.

This series has, thus far, subverted all of my expectations. I thought for sure there would be an “evil” woman of the tribe who tried to “steal” what rightfully belongs to the white heroine. Instead, there’s an unhappily mated Sa-Khui female who, yes, tries to lure a Sa-Khui male away from a human woman, and the heroine is understanding and feels bad for her but still establishes boundaries.

When they crash landed on the planet and were found by the Sa-Khui, I was like, “Here we go. Time to get rapey.” Nope. The Sa-Khui not only respect the human women and welcome them into their society, (in the second book, Barbarian Alien, the heroine becomes a hunter with the larger, stronger males because they recognize her skill) but the punishment for endangering a female is steep: banishment to the frozen wastes of Not-Hoth, away from the protection of the tribe. They don’t just need the women to breed for them, and they don’t infantilize them. When female characters offer suggestions in emergency situations, they don’t have to fight to have their voices heard. And when one Sa-Khui doesn’t “resonate” (a mating signal caused by a parasite all residents of Not-Hoth need to survive– I told you, the worldbuilding is fantastic) with the human woman he falls for? He tries to respectfully court her and doesn’t care if they never get the urge to merge.

So, what about these blue weiners we’ve heard about? Well, the big, scary, super muscular and literally horny aliens? They have big, scary, super cocks with a little bonus, a “spur” that hits all the right spots in whatever position they choose. Especially doggy-style, which the Sa-Khui can’t do with their own species because they have tails.

That’s right. They can dp, solo, with a human.

I do have to say that one trope that remained, one I really hate, didn’t get subverted in the first three books. After a somewhat graphic gang-rape by the kidnapper aliens, one of the women is traumatized beyond her capacity to function and then eventually becomes a casualty of the planet. That was a bummer, because like, the rape could have just not been in the book at all. If you want to raise the stakes, it doesn’t have to be one of those “killed…or worse” scenarios. And if I had stopped there (which I almost did), I would have missed out on a really inventive set of love stories, so it’s a shame that Dixon included it.

If you hate baby books, you probably won’t enjoy these as much as I did, since the concept of “resonating” makes everybody want to procreate, but if you’ve got even a slight breeding kink and you’re into sexing up aliens with weird cocks? You’re gonna want to check these out. Are they extremely cis and straight and white? Absolutely; I can’t remember even one not-white woman being mentioned (that’s not to say I didn’t just miss the description as I speed devoured these like raspberry zingers), and the concept of males and females and breeding always skews to the cis. But so does a lot of science fiction, mostly written by men, and definitely not this inventive or sex-positive. In general? I take what the fuck I can get from science fiction erotica.

I’m only recommending the first three books at the moment, though, because those are the ones I’ve read and liked. I’ve read the first four, but the fourth one was a no for me. I just didn’t care for the hero and I thought the heroine’s motivation to stay with him was unconvincing after what we’d learned about the Sa-Khui in the other books.

But that’s not going to stop me from reading the rest of them. I’m going to keep on with the series until I start having nightmares about drowning in a vat of blue dicks. It’s for sure not going to stop me from snatching up the companion novellas. Or from getting the signed special edition paperback that Berkley is releasing, because in this one, shining, beautiful moment, in this unlikely cosmic accident, an author whose work went viral and snagged a traditional publishing contract actually deserved it.

Check back for my review of the minotaur hand-job book because I will have all sorts of stuff to say about that, too. Boy howdy, am I gonna have stuff to say about that.

STATE OF THE TROUT: Chaotic Creativity Proving More Chaotic Than Previously Expected

Posted in Uncategorized

Time for an update, all you weirdos and beautiful freak-outs!

Remember back in July when I wrote and co-directed a music revue? Well, that has now rolled into co-directing a children’s theater musical. My co-director, musical director, choreographer, and I were all in Chicago together, so we know and have worked with each other before. In fact, my musical director and I first met when we were both in the BROADWAY WORLD REGIONAL THEATER AWARD NOMINATED WAR PAINT. Just wanted to throw that in there, every day until I die.

Before I start spilling details about it here, I have to check and make sure what I’m allowed to talk about this early in the process, but the auditions and callbacks are finished and only one staff member has threatened to resign so things are actually going really well for a community theater production!

However, this means an adjustment in my schedule that I was not anticipating, so as of right now, Queen of Hell is delayed so I can focus on the Patreon and our blog features here.

I’ll also be temporarily suspending regular additions to the merch shop because the only time I’ve had to draw lately has been focused on sets and puppets and projection images. But I did add two new items, Keep Calm and Capybara, which is a non-Trout Nation related design (I just like animals), and the shirt that I would have liked to have had ready during the Olympics but I was sidelined by quality/proof issues: Scamlympics. You, too, can walk around wearing the infamous “Las Vegas Olympian” comment, with my favorite parts highlighted in red.

Those might have been the only things I needed to mention. Oh, and if you’re not subscribed to my YouTube channel yet, help me out and subscribe? I’m trying to reach 1,000 subscribers so I can stream from my phone and finally do Fitshaced Fortuneteller again.

Jealous Haters Book Club: Crave, Chapter 6, “No, I Really Don’t Want to Build a Snowman”

Posted in Uncategorized

CW: threatened rape

The chapter titles are beginning to wear on me, I gotta admit. Really starting to grind me down. And you’ll see why at the end of this chapter.

In other news, I’m still reading Tracy Wolff’s other book, Royal Treatment. It’s not an epically long book or anything, but the Dune trailer came out and I remembered I wanted to reread that before the movie came out and then I steamrolled right into Dune Messiah and Children of Dune and I binged those.

That’s how I describe reading straight through a book all at once. Because usually, I read the way people watch tv shows. A few chapters here, a few chapters there. And it’s not that Royal Treatment isn’t a good book or enjoyable. It’s just not in the genre I’m interested in reading right now. But still, I see no evidence that Wolff’s of the McGuire/James/Glines school of abuse-me-until-I-love-you.

That said, I have a little bit of an issue with some stuff in this chapter.

CONCUSSED!

Posted in Uncategorized

A few days ago, I forget how long now (see title of post) I was awakened at five in the morning, pretty sure I’d been shot in the leg.

Which would be absurd because I’m not important enough to be the first assassination on somebody’s morning schedule.

I woke up in horrible pain, wondering what the hell happened. My first thought was maybe our ceiling fan fell, or that raccoon that’s always on the roof found a soft spot and crashed through. I groped my way to the end of the bed in the dark, confused, wondering if I was about to be attacked by a similarly confused raccoon. And just as I was leaning over, my forehead and orbital bone met the skull of a pit bull in full zoomies.

Zoomies, if you have never owned a dog, is a phenomenon that occurs when a dog rids itself of extraneous energy by running at full speed with no regard for its own safety or the safety of the people who are just trying to sleep because it’s five in the ding dang morning. Pit bulls run around 20-25mph and their heads are like basketballs made of concrete.

Reader, I saw stars. Within a few hours, it was clear that I had a concussion.

The thing is, this is my third concussion, the second in five years. Every progressive concussion is worse than the last, which I had heard before, but since my first concussion happened when I was fifteen or something, so when I got my second one, I had forgotten what the first one was like. Now, having them back to back, I have a comparison.

PROTECT YOUR HEADS.

Not that I think my Trout Nation friends aren’t smart enough to not split their melons. It’s taken me about three hours to get to this point in this post. I can only think for about twenty minutes at a time before I get intensely car sick. This includes watching movies, reading a book, having a conversation, basically anything other than just staring off into space.

CONCUSSIONS ARE BORING AS FUCK.

So, in summation: pit bulls aren’t dangerous because they’ll attack you, they’re dangerous because they pick ridiculous times to do goofy things, concussions are boring, and wear a helmet even when you’re sleeping because you don’t know when a raccoon is gonna crash through your ceiling.

It happens. I’m waiting.

Wear a helmet.

The Business Centaur’s Virgin Temp: Chapter Eight

Posted in Uncategorized

Need to catch up?

New video, new merch, short update

Posted in Uncategorized

Howdy! Still hard at work on a bajillion different projects at once over here, but I took some time out of my busy schedule to torment myself with the game that traumatized and inspired a generation of children to say, “Nah, I’m good. I’ll just keep living where I am.” And today, I am sharing that with you:

Please enjoy the adventures of the Butt family and many, many references to the Donner Party.

Also, if you’ve been waiting to see your favorite Jealous Haters Book Club selection immortalized on merchandise, this month I’ve added two new designs, “Pidge” and “#1 Most Jealous (for 24 hours)” to Troutmart. These were the designs that got bumped from June after the proofs didn’t come back in a way I was happy with. Now they’re fine and I highly recommend the “Pidge” throw pillow. Be aware that one of August’s designs will also be an homage to my favorite book about people randomly meeting Carrot Top, so if you want one but can only get one or only want one, wait until August to see if you like that design more because I don’t want to bait and switch you. But I’m having such a good time drawing these between frantically scribbling a thousand different stories all at once in many notebooks that I am most assuredly not looking forward to typing up.

On that note, more The Business Centaur’s Virgin Temp will be here tomorrow, after I obsessively make sure I have all the Ancient Greek names spelled correctly.