You may recall that last week I forced my dear friend Bronwyn Green to watch what is probably the saddest, most dramatic, most cheekbones-havingest costume porn of all time, A Royal Affair. As she watched it, she IMed me so that we could share the experience.
My friend and fellow romance novelist Jessica Jarman had not yet seen the film. Bronwyn and I felt we had an obligation to bully her into watching it. So that’s what we did. And then… this happened:
First, Jessica IMs me to tell me that she’s starting the movie:
Jessica: Just started A Royal Affair–didn’t have a chance last night.
But I wasn’t home.
This does not affect Jessica’s conversation with me at all:
Jessica: oh hello cheekbones….
Ah some major eye-fucking going on right now.
omg the dance…the dance…. I think I need a smoke after that.
They thought they could have it all….but they’re wrong! WRONG!
I’m only halfway through this and I know it’s going to kill me.
The king needs to grow a pair… and there they are.
Well that didn’t turn out the way the Dowager predicted, did it?
Sitting in the dark thinking about the queen and king getting it on…he looks so…dejected.
Eventually, I did come home:
Jenny: OMG, LOL. I just came back from dinner, and I was like, “11 IMs?”
OMG THE DANCING! Do you not want to lick his cheekbones?!
Jessica: YES!!!
Jenny: Are you still watching?
Jessica: Yes. He just yelled at the king when he wanted to have a holiday where women walk around naked.
Jenny: That’s one of his few good ideas. Besides taxis.
Jessica: Oh and the, “you don’t have to sign everything.” Oh god, this is the beginning of the end isn’t it?
Now the dowager is threatening the maids with purgatory. *sigh*
Jenny: And that gross sheets sniffing one is there. I’m sorry, if I were a housekeeper in the Age of Enlightenment, I’m not sniffing anybody’s laundry.
Even if I think I smell sex.
ESPECIALLY if I smell sex.
Jessica: They just said I love you to each other. Which means soon it will all go to hell.
Some time later:
Jessica: I want to punch the dowager and her funky looking son.
Oh god…….torches! Where are the pitchforks???
Oh, I see them now.
They just slapped the cheekbones! How DARE they??!!
Jenny: LAY OFF THE BEAUTIFUL CHEEKBONES!
Jessica: Damn you, Jen! I’m already crying.
Jenny: I’m spreading this movie like a poison of sadness.
Jessica: Okay, it’s over. I am a puddle of tears and feelings right now.
Jenny: I hope you know, I’m going to blog this.
Jessica: LOL Will you at least correct my typos?
Jenny: Like Snape says about Lily Potter. ALWAYS.
Since “I’m spreading this movie like a poison of sadness,” if you watch it, let me know what you think!