I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free to watch male cover models lip sync to Lee Greenwood while making inappropriate pelvic thrust motions. I’m fairly certain my brains will never recover.
I’m about to head off to my panel on Romantic Suspense with Tara Taylor Quinn and Brenda Novak. I know, I don’t write Romantic Suspense, but that didn’t seem to matter.
Tonight is the Faery Ball. If I’d remembered my USB cable, I would promise pictures. But guess what? I suck and totally forgot it, so you’ll have to see pics when I return to the frozen north.
Okay, let me tell you about my day. We got almost to Indiana before having to turn around because we forgot shit. Important shit.
Then, we got to Pittsburgh and found out that the hotel doesn’t validate parking. I guess I shouldn’t have expected that, although I’ve never been somewhere that didn’t.
The hotel room was small, sucky, and in a hallway that was still under renovation. It was like if ‘The Shining’ was filmed in Tehran. Fuck that. Got a new room after much complaining.
Still, hotel NOT unsucky so far. Very destroyed and renovation-tastic. So, so going to try and get my money back after this week.
In other news, trying to find a better (read: cheaper) place to park with in-and-out privileges (read: someplace that isn’t going to charge me for a whole day when I leave the garage).
Off to improve my opinion of the city that is going to break me this weekend.
Okay, so here is the absolutely true tale of Harrison Ford being dead:
Once upon a time, I had a party. And my parties are epic bacchanals with drinking and lowered inhibitions. I used to have a life-sized replica of Han Solo frozen in carbonite, and it got hella molested at one of these parties.
So, anyway, during one party, I disappeared to my office to “check my email.” This should have been clue number 1 that I was up to something, because who checks their email during a party? But my drunken friends were too far gone to see this.
After an appropriate length of time, I go out of my office and go, “Oh my God, you guys! Harrison Ford died!”
And everyone goes, “WHAT? HOW? OMG!” And I was like, “I don’t know, it was a heart thing, apparently. He died like, three hours ago, it was on TMZ.”
Only one person in the room didn’t believe me. My husband goes, “Whatever. Shut up.”
I will not believe a word of anything anyone blogs today. You are all goons.
Also, I’m going to quit writing Urban Fantasy and start writing Paranormal Christian Inspirational novels. Think “The Dresden Files” if Harry were Jesus and the council was, you know, God.
EDIT: The book DOES come out June 1st. However, I am being good and flogging its dead carcass two months in advance, like everyone else does
So, you may have noticed that is is nearly April. That means that very, very soon, Blood Ties Book Four: All Souls’ Night will be hopping from the shelves into your hot little hands. And those better be bookstore shelves and not library shelves, ’cause I got bills to pay, yo.
I get a lot of questions about what is going to happen in future books. And obviously, I can’t answer them. The landslide of “IS ZIGGY REALLY DEAD OMG !!!!!!11!!!ELEVENTY-ONE!!!!!” mail that I got after the first book was so, so hard to deal with, because I felt bad for not being able to tell people. I’m not good at keeping secrets, unless there is some kind of real world consequence, so this series and all its little twists and turns have made me a bit batty.
There is, however, one question I can answer without giving too much away, and that question is…
What can readers expect from Book Four? At this point, if you are one of those people who doesn’t want to know ANYTHING about a book, stop reading. I’m not going to give away “spoilers” by saying stuff like “Nathan learns he’s double jointed and runs away to join a freak show,” but I am going to mention things that will happen in the book.
First, and this is a big one, three major characters die in Book Four.
Second, and nearly just as important, this is the grossest book I’ve ever written. Bring barf bags.
GRATUITOUS VIOLENCE
For the first time ever in one of my books, hot, male/male love scene.
Zombies.
Now, to wrap up today’s post o’ doom, my dear friend Brynn Paulin thought that Sweeney Todd has not been represented adequately in my blog as of late. So, Brynn, this is for you:
Japanese Sweeney rehearsal. Hells yeah. I wish there were videos of the actual performance.
In any case, the DVD of the Depp version comes out tomorrow. So, I know what I’m doing with the rest of my week.
I’ve been absent while I slave towards a seemingly impossible goal of finishing my current WIP before the end of the month, but I had to break my silence to report of the stupidest headline I’ve ever read. On CNN.com, a headline reads “A Star Explodes Halfway Across The Universe”.
Okay, wait, what? If the universe is infinite, as some believe, then how does one determine a halfway point? Or, if the universe if finite, but too large to be measured, as others contend, you still can’t determine a halfway point.
To say something is “halfway” across the universe is to say that you know where the universe begins and ends. So, what’s wrong with just saying “A Star Explodes A Long Way Away”?
Question 1 You are in the right turn lane. The light is red. Do you: A. Watch for an opening in traffic and safely turn on red? B. Punch your accelerator and cut into traffic without a care for the drivers who have the right-of-way, because you are clearly in a much bigger hurry than they are?
Question 2 You are on a road with four lanes of traffic. The lane beside you is moving faster than the lane you are in. Do you: A. Wait until there is an opening in traffic and safely move into the other lane? B. Wait until there is barely a car length between the two cars beside you, then force your way in just before a red light, possibly creating a pile-up and, for the driver who ends up behind you, a ticket for failure to stop at a safe distance?
Question 3 You are a busy mom who has little time in the mornings. Do you: A. Drop your child off at school, then make important phone calls while drinking your coffee at home? B. Make important phone calls while drinking coffee and dropping your child off at school in you enormous SUV, even though you are clearly a stay-at-home-mom and could do two of these tasks at home without endangering the other drivers and children in the parking lot?
Question 4 You are driving a large lumber truck. Do you: A. Keep in mind that you are seated above much of traffic, and proceed with extra caution to avoid possible accidents? B. Assume the way is clear and tear out of the lumber yard without looking, causing the car directly in you path to swerve into oncoming traffic to avoid being crushed, then flip off the driver of said car, even though you did not have the right-of-way?
If you answered B to any of these questions, you were one of the jackasses that nearly killed me in my morning commute today. Thanks a lot, dillweeds!
