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State Of The Trout: Missed Deadline, Spooky Story Time, and The Next Book Recap

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Hey there, it’s your old pal, Jenny, coming to you live from the late-stage capitalist dystopia that is the United States of America. All of my grand plans for bringing my manuscript in on deadline got washed down the drain after last week’s newsworthy events sent me into a depression tailspin that was also experienced by basically everyone in the entire country. I’m sure productivity levels were through the roof last week, let me tell you.

Anyway, what that means for you is that the blog posts will continue to be…not here until I get the freaking book done. I’m so close. Like, a chapter and an epilogue close.

But I do have another Spooky Story Time for you!

 

This one is about my two visits to the Sorrel-Weed House in Savannah, GA. Yes, it really is a half-hour long video. It’s edited down from fifty minutes. I just have a lot to say about paranormal investigations, okay?

It’s also time to figure out what we’re recapping next. I had this wild fantasy of never recapping a book ever again but since Handbook For Mortals is over and the sequel hasn’t come out yet, I’ve had a lot of people saying, “You should recap [insert book here] next!” What we’re gonna do is this. We’re going to nominate books using this handy form:

 

I’ll leave nominations open until October 19, at which point the three books with the most nominations will be moved to semi-finals voting. If you fill out the optional question about why it would be a good fit, I may use your anonymous answer in support of your title if it advances to the finals.

That’s all the news that’s fit to print. Wish me luck as I head back into the writing cave.

State Of The Trout: Deadline Week, High World Of Warcraft, and Patreon

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It’s deadline week here at Trout HQ! I’m writing a ridiculous amount of words per day to bring The Boyfriend in on time for a November release, so pardon the sparse updates. Today, I offer you a video of me, super high, trying to play a class I’ve never played before in World Of Warcraft.

 

Next week, expect a super long Spooky Story Time video about the tour and paranormal lock-in of the Sorrel-Weed House in Savannah, GA that I participated in over the summer.

The long blog drought won’t last forever. Just hopefully until I finish the book at this end of this week. In the meantime, more news! After requests from some blog readers and social media followers, I’ve reopened my Patreon! You can find the details here. All but one of the rewards is digital; physical rewards became overwhelming and caused me to stop doing the thing altogether. This part is important: if you were a Patron before and you didn’t un-patronize me (is that a thing?) you might find yourself getting charged now that it’s open again. If you no longer want to support me via Patreon, be sure you go cancel your monthly donation. I don’t want to surprise steal from you.

I’m going back into the writey-hole. Please throw stroopwaffles and coffee down to me at regular intervals.

Please make sure the coffee is in a container of some kind.

Jenny Plays The Sims 4!

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I’ve still got my head down and my nose to the grindstone on The Boyfriend, but I did manage to sneak in a couple hours of video games over the weekend. And by “managed” I mean, I absolutely had to because my manuscript was starting to look a little sketchy…

An animated gif of the typewrite from The Shining with the words "All work and no play make Jack a dull boy" all over the page.

 

Anyway, here’s me playing the Sims 4 after drinking approximately a bottle of champagne. Next week, I’ll be back with another Spooky Story Time.

 

 

How To Describe Things: An Interlude

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FADE IN
INT: BEDROOM – DAY

MR. JEN and JENNY are in bed, watching television. Jenny is a beautiful cougar aging like expensive cheese. Mr. Jen should have been nicer to her in the following conversation, but he doesn’t appreciate her descriptive flare so he can suck it. He can suck the whole thing.

JENNY
Ugh. I hurt. Like, I hurt so bad that I feel like I should be lying in one of those big beds with the thick wooden posts and the canopies… Like when you see someone and they’re laying on all the pillows, they’re kind of propped up? And then they’re like, [wheezing voice] “Bring me my eldest son.”

MR. JEN
Eldest son?

JENNY
And then the son comes in and [wheezing voice] “My son. You have a great responsibility now. The kingdom relies on you.”

MR. JEN
Wait. Are you– are you a king in this scenario?

JENNY
(continuing in wheezing voice)
“It is a great burden that you must bear.”

MR. JEN
What are you talking about?

JENNY
Yeah, I’m a king. I’m the king, I’m propped up on the pillows and I’m dying. That’s how I feel right now.

MR. JEN
[BEAT] Why do you have to be so dramatic?

JENNY
Because I am describing it at you. I’m describing at you how bad I feel right now.

MR. JEN
But why are you a king? Why aren’t you just on your deathbed?

JENNY
I am on my deathbed! I think I made it pretty clear that this is a king on his deathbed.

MR. JEN
But why did you have to pick a king?

JENNY
Who else was I going to pick to convey that image?

MR. JEN
Literally anyone!

JENNY
But it only works if I describe it well! That’s my job. I describe situations and I make people feel ways about them!

MR. JEN
I know that but you don’t write it that ridiculous.

JENNY
Everything I write is ridiculous!

There is a long pause. Jenny arranges the pillows carefully behind her, mimicking the pose of a dying king in a movie.

JENNY
I feel like I’m being stabbed in the shoulder by some kind of powerful warrior.

MR. JEN
Oh my god.

FADE OUT
FIN

State Of The Trout: Spooky Story Time and Ow, My Frickin Head

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Hey everybody. This post is brought to you by a debilitating migraine and brain zaps that I am almost 100% positive is the result of receiving a different generic prescription than I’m used to. Hence, no True Blood, since just one of Sookie’s high-pitched screams would split my head in twain. But I do have this:

It took me all freaking weekend to upload, but I had intended to drop it on Friday night. This all worked out for the better.

As for this here blog, posting is going to be sporadic during the month of September, as I’m focusing on finishing The Boyfriend so there’s ample time to edit it before it releases in November. Expect to see more videos, as those are easier to make while also writing your ass off.

I’ll also still be doing Drunk Tarot on Saturday nights. 10 P.M. EST on my Facebook page.

Now, I’ll be taking my painful and broken head to the dentist, where I’m sure having a light shined in my face and machinery stuffed into my mouth won’t exacerbate things at all!

BIG EXCITING NEWS

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I’ve got the go-ahead to share now, so here it is:

My Young Adult serial novel, Nightmare Born, will debut on the Radish app in October! Yes, this October! The one that is on the way!

So, what is Nightmare Born about?

It’s about Iris Bianchi, an autistic teenager who learns that her father is the King Of Nightmares and that she is a Nightmare Born, a supernatural creature that can only be conceived in human dreams. Called to Miss Perkins’s School For Girls for her magical training, Iris is soon immersed in the supernatural underworld of Savannah, Georgia. Imagine American Horror Story: CovenThe Vampire DiariesHarry Potter, and The Magicians all got thrown into a blender together to make a delicious and satisfying paranormal YA smoothie, but then I started just pouring various different types of candy into it.

I’m so excited to share every little bit of this journey with you guys. More info will be coming soon!