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Don’t Do This, Ever: “Public Event Evaluation” edition

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This weekend, I went to a great conference, The Novel Experience Event in Las Vegas. It was run by Romance Ink, a not-for-profit company that organizes events for readers. I’ve been attending Romance Ink events since their very first conference, Authors After Dark, in Suffern, New York, in 2009. Since then, I’ve grown to love the authors and readers who return to Authors After Dark every year. I’ve also become friends with the conference organizer, Stella Price, and the staff who work for the company. The reason I’m telling you all of this is in the interest of disclosure, because I know I may be accused of bias after I write this.

I’m not going to name names and call people out. I’m too tired for that kind of thing these days (further post to that effect to come). But there is a lot of misinformation circulating about what happened at The Novel Experience Event over the weekend, and I feel some grievous breaches of protocol were made.

One of the features of this conference was a book fair from 10:00 A.M. to 5:00 P.M. on the mezzanine level of the Planet Hollywood Hotel and Casino. The figure I heard (but didn’t confirm, because who has time at these things?) was that at least one-hundred and twenty-five authors were scheduled to sign. Some authors sold out their entire stock. Some didn’t sell anything at all. Some carried books in (brought their own books and handled their own sales), and some worked with a bookseller. One author, who did not sell at a rate she deemed acceptable, decided to complain about the event half-way through. She posted pictures of the seemingly barren signing to her Facebook page, warning that there were no readers in attendance and that authors were packing up and leaving early. The post was made as a warning to authors who were considering attending Romance Ink events. Fair enough. I know that if I have a bad experience somewhere, I warn people away, be it a conference or a hotel or a restaurant. But there’s a time and a place for that kind of thing, and when you’re going to complain about a signing event that is currently taking place, that time is later.

Because what happened at that point was that the owner of another conference, arguably the largest event in the romance genre, reposted those pictures for her nearly 5,000 Facebook friends, readers and authors alike, to view. As a reader, if you saw someone post that an all day event was wrapping up well before it was over, would you bother to come out?

For many authors, the rest of the event that day was marred by messages from readers and authors asking, “Did you see this?” and “Is it still worth it to drive out there?” It spread like wildfire over Facebook, even as the signing continued. Other authors took their own photographs of the crowd to prove that the signing was still very much happening, hoping to counter the potential damage done. At least one of them shared those pictures with the aforementioned popular conference owner as a reply to her Facebook post, only to have her comment deleted. Any attempt made by any of us to suggest that we were still there, that authors were still signing books and that readers were still welcome to attend were removed, while comments disparaging Romance Ink and expressing sympathy for the authors involved were retained. It was almost as though the people who were reposting those photos wanted to discourage readers from attending. I sincerely hope that was not the purpose of these actions, and that it’s just my naturally suspicious nature that would cause me to doubt someone else’s good intentions.

Some commenters clutched their pearls, crying alligator tears for those of us who had been duped into sacrificing our holiday weekend with our families. To those who expressed those concerns, I say: we are not stupid. We know how to use calendars. We were aware that Easter and Passover fell over the weekend, and we chose to come anyway. I found it incredibly offensive to read comments expressing sadness for authors who were missing out on celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ or the deliverance of the Israelites (and there were several comments to those effects). Religious or not, the people at the event made a conscious and informed choice to be there, and that kind of comment is incredibly personal and intrusive.

But back to my original concern: if you are an author, there is nothing wrong with telling people, “this was my experience at this event, I would not do this again, I would encourage you to not do it,” but do it after it’s over. In this age of social media, word spreads extremely quickly, and what one author deemed “totally dead” actually became totally dead within an hour of her post spreading. I’m absolutely certain that was not her intent, but it did happen. And when you say a signing or event was a waste of time, your readers are seeing that, too. Readers who may have come out to see you, and sacrificed their time, only to be told that it didn’t count for anything. Authors and industry professionals generally agree on this, including agent Jennifer Laughran, who wrote about an experience with an ungrateful author in this post about successful signings. 

There are a few other incidents circulating on social media that I want to address as briefly as possible. One author was not allowed to sign after not following event policies that had been in place from the moment registration opened in November, 2014. Romance Ink does have very strict policies that are enforced across the board, the rationale being that if the staff is forced to make personal exceptions for every author, they will have limited attention to spend on making the event good for the readers who are the focus. Does it suck for the author who didn’t get to sign? Sure, and I totally understand their disappointment. But my take on this particular issue is that if a hundred and twenty-five people were able to follow instructions successfully, and only one did not, then the problem is not with the event or its policies. Others might view it differently.

There is also a rumor that Romance Ink and Stella Price are anti-LGBTQA+, because a convention director was asked to stop passing out materials promoting their LGBTQA+ author event. I actually laughed when I read the accusation, because the Authors After Dark conference has built a huge following of LGBTQA+ readers and authors, as well as readers and authors who are allies, who didn’t feel comfortable or welcome at other industry conferences. One year I was on three queer-focused panels. Three, in one year. And those weren’t even the only three of their kind. And authors who write any type of pairing are invited for panels that aren’t just LGBTQA+ focused; last year, I sat on a sports romance panel to talk about my baseball romances in the Hardball trilogy, which includes a M/M pairing and a polyamorous threesome, right alongside panelists who wrote straight pairings. Romance Ink’s Bookie Awards are one of the only non-queer-specific industry awards I can think of that both include categories for Best GLBT Novel and Best GLBT Short Story while also allowing LGBTQA+ romances to be nominated in all the other categories as well. This speaks volumes when you consider that about ten years ago, Romance Writers of America tried to redefine romance as being between one man and one woman in an effort to bar writers of queer and polyamorous romances from gaining published status in the organization.

The reason this person was asked to stop distributing her materials was because it’s a professional courtesy to not advertise your own event at another event without asking permission, and some authors felt uncomfortable being pitched to during the signing because of this. I know this is the case because I was present when the decision to speak to this promoter was made. Unlike several authors and industry professionals who are complaining about the event, I was actually there; 80% of the time I spent on the convention floor, I was in the company of staff members.

People who have attended an event are well within their right to express displeasure at how it was handled or at things they felt were done unprofessionally. But publicly denouncing an event that’s still going on doesn’t just hurt the event and its coordinators, it hurts the authors who are there, trying to have a good experience just like you were. Spreading misinformation about an event you weren’t present at and refusing to acknowledge contrasting accounts from the people who were? That’s not helping authors, either. Starting false rumors that a company that has always strongly supported LGBTQA+ authors and readers engaged in blatant homophobic discrimination? That’s especially vile, because many of us have forged our bonds with Romance Ink specifically because they embrace us as both authors and individuals.

I will continue to attend Romance Ink events, because I’m one of the many authors who have never had a negative experience with the staff or because of event policies. If you disagree and feel others should avoid this company, then by all means, exercise your right to express that. But the authors who had a positive experience at the event paid the same money and were in Las Vegas for the same reasons as the authors who were unhappy. They should not have been punished when the signing didn’t live up to the expectations of a very few.

Don’t Do This…Ever?: (an advice column for writers): “Crowd Funding” edition

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The internet book world has been abuzz with discussion about the ethics and logistics of crowd funding books.

Well, not books, really. They’ve been talking about crowd funding an author’s career.

When author Stacey Jay’s publisher declined to contract the next book in her YA series, she took to Kickstarter to fund the project. This isn’t uncommon, on both fronts. Many authors have crowd funded books, and many authors–and readers–have seen a series they loved discontinued by a publisher due to poor sales. It sucks for everyone, and I should know; it happened to one of my books.

Bear with me while I tell this tale.

Back when I was writing as Jennifer Armintrout, the sales of my Lightworld/Darkworld series were definitely not enough to earn out the $50,000 per book advance I’d received for them. When it came time to contract my next book, I had what my agent referred to as a “bridge” contract, a single title contract that offered a lower advance (I believe I got $35,000). The idea was that the sales of my next book would be enough to lead into my next contract.

They were not.

Although American Vampire was critically well received, it sold for absolute shit. In four years, it has not earned out. In fact, I think at last count it was somewhere in the neighborhood of $20,000 short of earning back the advance. Unsurprisingly, Harlequin wasn’t interested in another book in that series. Meanwhile, readers kept asking me if American Vampire was a series, that they wanted another book, and would there be any more books in my Blood Ties series. At this point in my career, I was writing as Abigail Barnette and making about fifty bucks a month. That’s quite the income drop from $50,000 per book, in case you were wondering. Nothing I sent out was selling. I proposed a spin-off novel about a popular character in my Blood Ties series, offering to write it without an advance for Harlequin’s Carina line of e-books, and was turned down.

In short, my career had taken a nosedive.

Things are obviously going better now, but had Kickstarter been a viable option back then, I might have undertaken a campaign on my own to self-publish a novel or two. When the state is paying for your heat, you can’t afford to self-publish. I would have asked for money for editing, for cover art, for professional design, probably even for advertising. I would have done it in a heartbeat.

So, what is it that rankles me about the Stacey Jay controversy? Well, several things, and hardly any of them have to do with Jay herself.

Foremost, I’m really uncomfortable with the stance her defenders have taken. Many have claimed that what Jay did with her Kickstarter was simply obtaining an advance in a non-traditional way. But it just…isn’t. An advance is money a publisher gives you before the title is put on sale. The idea is that the book will “earn out,” and the publisher will make that money back. It’s a risk they take, and as Jane Litte pointed out on twitter:

 

On the other side of the issue, people defended Jay by suggesting that those who questioned her campaign simply didn’t value an artist’s time or money:  


But it isn’t that simple. Writing isn’t “work.” It’s a business. If I own a ketchup factory, that’s running a business. If I work at a ketchup factory, that’s work. The owner of the ketchup factory assumes a financial risk in putting their product out there. They have to produce the product and pay the workers. The workers get paid for the work they do, the raw ingredients get paid for, and at the end of the day, if the business owner has money left over, that’s profit. This isn’t a business model that should be alien to anyone.

But supporters of Jay don’t see it that way. They see complaints from readers, bloggers, and other authors as an attack on Jay and a denial of the need for compensation:

 

No one cares what Stacey Jay spends royalties or advances on. No one expects writers to starve. I’ve seen readers called “entitled,” as though they’re demanding free product. No one has, to the best of my knowledge, asked Stacey Jay to write a book without being paid. What people have been objecting to is that a writer is asking readers to provide them with profits before the product has been delivered. That is not the responsibility of the consumer. I cannot ask customers who bought my ketchup in the past to fund my factory so that I can continue making product I can profit from.

As for Stacey Jay, she has posted a public apology and declared that she won’t be writing YA anymore. And again, there are authors, bloggers, and readers who are furious, insinuating that Jay has been forced out of the YA community or that disagreeing with her business model is akin to a personal attack, but that’s disingenuous. Jay decided to take down the Kickstarter and announce her retirement from YA. And you know what? If she feels that’s a sound business decision, I won’t argue with her. I have two series that at the moment I don’t have immediate plans to finish, because I won’t make as large a profit from them as I will working on other projects (don’t worry, they’re not either of my current series). It sucks for readers, in the same way that it sucked to see GCB cancelled, or like how every time I find a moisturizer I like, they fucking discontinue it. If publishing is a business, then business decisions are being made. If they’re personal or emotional, that’s not the fault of the consumers. The consumers are voicing objection to a business model, not saying that they want free ketchup, or to intentionally bankrupt ketchup companies world-wide. No one, not one person, has asked Stacey Jay to write for free. She has simply rejected the idea of writing on spec.

Stacey Jay is a talented writer. Read her Night’s Rose, written as Annalise Evansand you’ll see another example of the true unfairness in publishing; she should be more well-known than she is (or was, I guess, since this is spreading like wildfire). But that’s not how it works out, a lot of the time. More people buy Heinz than exquisite gourmet ketchup (that’s a thing, right? “The fanciest dijon ketchups?” BNL would never lie to me). And no writer is guaranteed to be paid for their projects before they complete them; it’s really nice, but it’s not owed. And these days, it’s almost become the golden ticket (if Willy Wonka were about ketchup instead of chocolate. I’m not rewriting the whole damn post to make that metaphor work).

Readers asking not to bear the cost of a work’s production in advance aren’t asking for anything for free. They were just surprised and insulted to be asked to pay for the production of the supply before the demand was fulfilled. They were further insulted by the excessively dramatic predictions of authors starving with their children in the streets, made by writers who had the gall to say the objectors were the ones acting entitled. That behavior isn’t making a case for authors, and it certainly isn’t helping to support Stacey Jay.

No matter how much we love our books, writing isn’t a job. It’s a career. You’re running a business. And nobody is responsible for making the ketchup but you.

DON’T DO THIS, EVER (An advice column for writers): Dudley Dursley edition

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Believe it or not, one of the questions I’m most often asked by people who don’t already know that I know absolutely nothing is, “Do you have you any advice for someone who wants to be/is a writer?” I’m the worst person to ask. Everything I have in my writing career, I got by falling into it ass backwards. Sure, I’ve worked hard for a long time, but to be honest, most of that work has been pointed firmly in the wrong direction. Then fate or some cosmic entity sees me struggling like a wind-up toy in a corner, and it’s like, “Awww. That’s really sad for her. You know what? Let’s just turn her around.” Something just happens, and I’ve arrived at some goal or achievement I feel I’ve done very little to earn. So, I don’t generally have any advice as to how to be a successful writer. Also, I have very little social media savvy. I talked about cutting my vulva with a pair of scissors on my twitter feed last week (@Jenny_Trout, in case you want in on all the vulva-maiming action).

I am a gossipy little streak of nonsense, though, so allow me to use someone else’s drama to craft some advice for you. Or, like Willam Belli says, “I’m going to teach you how to be better, through the faults of others.”

An author wasn’t happy the week that her latest book released:

chelsea cain 1

 

Writers, and I’m gonna be real here, especially female writers, have a really rough time balancing work and family pressures. I know that even though I’m the primary income in my household, my job is the one that’s most flexible and doesn’t require me to leave the house, so it’s always going to fall to me to make dinner, keep things straight for school, do the bills, do the phone calls, let the dogs out, give the kids baths, etc. It’s not that my husband is just too big and manly to help out, but he works a weird schedule and his job is pretty stressful, too. He’s always tired, he’s always asleep when the rest of the world is going on, so it falls to the person who is conscious (mostly) to do a lot of this stuff. And yes, the pressure is overwhelming when you’re sitting there, cooking a grilled cheese, and you know that you have a ton of work waiting for you in the next room, but your co-parent can’t exactly tell his job, “Hey, I’m going to need to leave for an hour so I can go make my kids’ dinner because my wife needs a solid eight hours to work.” It sucks so, so much to work from home, in this aspect.

So, I understand Author’s frustration at having to leave a sick kid to go on a book tour. I missed my kids so much on a two-day tour that my husband had to drive to Columbus, OH to get me, because I was a wreck. I know it must have sucked to go to a huge, mentally and emotionally draining expo when she wasn’t a hundred percent. That must have really sucked, and I know, believe me, I know, what it feels like when you work hard on something and it doesn’t do as well as you’d like it to (See also: Jenny’s entire career, 2009 to 2012). But there are a couple different reasons why authors cannot put out a message like this.

One of those reasons is that, wow. It sounds extremely entitled, doesn’t it? I’m not the only blogger to think so. In fact, I found out about this whole kerfuffle from Tez Miller’s blog. I’m linking because I don’t want you guys to think I’m straight up stealing her post when I now go on to say basically every single thing she already said. The reason our opinions are going to line up so neatly is because, well. Common sense.

The first mistake Author made was announcing that her book didn’t achieve list placement. Just a heads up: you don’t ever have to tell anyone how your book is performing. Ever. None of her readers would have noticed the book didn’t place, unless they’re particularly interested in the list placement of every author they’ve read. In fact, the first time you make a list, you get to keep saying, “Blabbity Blah Bestselling Author” for the rest of your career from the very first time you get placement, and pretty much everyone keeps on assuming all your books are bestsellers because of that. Seriously, I’m “USA Today Bestselling Author” Jenny Trout, because one book that came out in 2006 made the list one week and then dropped off and nothing of mine ever sold that well again. You just throw the title around and everyone assumes things are fine. The only people who notice that you’re not making a list is your publisher, your agent, and any of your particularly dedicated adversaries. But if you feel like being real about how a book is doing, you can. Nobody’s stopping you. Just know that you don’t have to.

If you are going to say something about your book not selling well, you might want to go with, “I’m disappointed that this book isn’t doing better, because I was really enthusiastic about it. Oh well, I hope everyone who’s reading it enjoys it!” I have heard from some readers that this kind of thing makes them uncomfortable; I’ll often refer to my fantasy series as “the one nobody read,” and I suppose that can come off a little ungrateful. After all, what about the people who did read it? Are they chopped liver? On the other hand, as someone who thrives on thinking I’ve got access to something secret, I love hearing that I’m a part of something obscure, so I guess it could go either way.

But what Author does here isn’t just, “Oh, my book isn’t performing the way I’d like it to.” She blames her readers for not pre-ordering. She can’t “count” on her loyal readers to boost her numbers and assure list placement anymore, and that’s why she’s disheartened with writing. That seems unfair, and that was her second mistake.  The people Author has a real issue with here are the people who aren’t buying her book. So why shit on the people who did buy it, by accusing them of not delivering on the promise the author assumed the readers have made? Why tell “core fans” that they’ve let you down, instead of saying, “Hey, thanks for buying and enjoying my latest book?”

The third mistake Author made here was to mention that all of her previous thrillers had made the NYT list. As in… none of her thrillers had ever not become New York Times Bestsellers. It is at this point, dear readers, that the patience of pretty much any author would wear thin. Making the New York Times Bestseller list is a dream of every novelist. If they say it isn’t, they’re lying. Everyone who says, “I don’t really care about list placement,” is going to be on the phone with every member of their extended family, their graduating class, and their dentist’s office staff within minutes of hearing that they placed on the list. People go their entire careers without ever getting close to the NYT. It is the very definition of “brass ring” for genre fiction authors. If the worst thing happening in your career is one of your books not making the New York Times Bestsellers list when all the ones before it did, you might wanna reframe your complaint. This comes off a little like Dudley Dursley counting his birthday presents. Or, as one twitter user put it, “But I ALWAYS win first place!”

She goes on to say that those thrillers that did make the NYT “didn’t sell gangbusters.” But they made the New York Times bestseller list. Here’s another tip: keep your career in perspective. You’re always going to feel like you’re not doing well enough, or that you could be selling better. That’s called insecurity, and if you’re a writer, well, congratulations, you have a wealth of it. If your books are becoming New York Times bestsellers, they’re selling well. Unless every other book under you on that list had extremely bad sales all at once, trust me. Your book is selling just fine.

The last tip I want to impart here is, don’t threaten to withhold from your readers. Whether Author intended to or not, she implied that she wouldn’t continue writing her series unless her fan base pre-ordered and got her on a list. And that’s crappy. It’s crappy when an author doesn’t finish a series, anyway–and I should know; I have two unfinished series out there, mea culpa–but it’s extra super crappy when an author claims their bestselling series is in danger because readers aren’t doing enough to directly benefit the author’s wallet.

So, if you’re a writer, or plan on being one, there’s some advice. Do not blast your readers on social media for getting you thirty-six presents this year instead of thirty-seven. And if you do… avoid zoos.

Jenny Reads After chapters 10 – 12 or “Don’t Forget Where You Belong (at this party, forever)”

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You may have noticed that this is not Wednesday blogging. I got behind in a bunch of stuff, so I skipped out on that one this week. However, you can read about shitty jobs my Wednesday Blogging peeps Tess Grant, Kris Norris, Bronwyn Green, Gwendolyn Cease, and Jessica Jarman have toiled away at in the past.

Before we get into the recap, I want to discuss some bullshittery. 700 million “reads.” That’s the stat on the story’s WattPad landing page.

One assumes that when the average person– someone who doesn’t worry about things like unique page views and click-throughs and ping-backs– sees that number, they’re not going to think, “Many people have clicked on each individual chapter multiple times,” but “700 million people have read this book.”

This number, and the unspoken claim behind it (because WattPad is aware that they’re trying to make people think that 700 million individual people have read this story, or else they would be presenting a more realistic statistic) struck me as so ridiculous, I had to do some puzzling to try and put this claim into perspective.

Okay, let’s take the “700 million reads” claim in the spirit with which it was intended, and that is, to dupe you into believing 700 million people have read it, and break that number down a little. I combined the estimated populations of countries in which I knew large numbers of people spoke English. These countries were selected through the very scientific process of being countries I remembered as having significant populations of first-language English speakers without having to actually look anything else up, and they are as follows: United States, Canada, United Kingdom and Northern Ireland, Ireland, New Zealand, Australia, and South Africa. And the number I came to was 494.8 million.

Now, a note on the reason I chose populations with first-language English speakers: because I’m convinced that anyone whose secondary language skills in English are just semi-fluent wouldn’t be able to understand a flipping sentence in the grammar and spelling nightmare that is After. You’d have to have some mad proficiency skills to sift through the errors, and it’s harder to find an estimate for “mad proficiency English language” on Google. I’m an author, I work with the English language every day, it’s my first language that I have spoken for thirty-two years of my life, it was the primary language used throughout my education, yet I have difficulty figuring out what’s being said in some of these chapters.

So, let’s look at that 494.8 million figure. To reach that number, it means every single person in all of those countries would have to read After.  This would include individuals who are:

  • illiterate
  • infants
  • unable to access the internet
  • unable to access WattPad due to incompatibility with their screen reading software
  • old people who refuse to use computers
  • in comas
  • living strict religious practices forbidding the use of electricity
  • out of fucks to give for whatever the next big thing is
  • unaware of fanfic and would have no desire to seek it out
  • contrary hipsters who refuse to investigate anything popular
  • saddled with a passing regard for grammar and spelling that would normally preclude them from reading something like After

Every. single. person. But even then, even with every estimated living human being in all those countries, the number falls a little over 300 million short. Add to this the number of readers leaving comments like:

“rereading cuz I can’t wait for anna to update! haha and stop giving spoilers! I hate them”

we have to assume that at least some of these “reads” are coming from repeat offenders (who seem to believe the story might be different upon second reading, else why would they worry about spoilers?).

To put it into even more perspective, 700 million individual readers would make up 25% of estimated internet users.  Note the lack of qualifier there. Not “internet users in America” or “internet users in English speaking countries.” Internet users total, based on stats from the International Telecommunications Union.

This, friends, is basically horseshit. The 50 Shades of Grey trilogy is an international juggernaut, translated into over fifty languages, is still dominating our everyday lives with ever more outdated quips referencing its title and themes, and guess how many copies it’s sold? As of February, 100 million. It’s clear that in the bid to make “fetch” happen with After, the idea is to make its success seem not just comparable with the book it shamelessly imitates, but bigger and more important. Somehow, this tactic is convincing enough that it attracted the interest of Hollywood, who apparently believe that 700 million clicks– some by repeat readers– on three stories with approximately one-hundred separate chapters per part is going to translate into some kind of globally dominating force equivalent to seven 50 Shades of Greys.

Oh, fuck me. It probably will.

State of the Trout: Surgery, The Great Facebook Fuck-up, Donations, and a New Video

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First of all, I survived surgery! I wasn’t concerned that I wouldn’t, but I have what people around me describe as “the worst luck.” Which is kind of weird, because I’m always like, “I’m so lucky, I’m such a lucky person.” I guess I never counted the bad luck. Which doesn’t make me wrong, just slightly less optimistic.

The surgery didn’t go exactly how I expected, but I’m waiting to speak to my surgeon about that at a follow-up appointment because my experience was definitely one of those “I wanted to tell you first” kind of things. I did have to return to the hospital via ambulance that night, but I’m doing super okay now, and even did some writing. For example, the review of Poor Things I’ll be posting later this week. Spoiler: if you really love that movie with all your heart and soul, skip my review.

I also hope to post the letter I’m currently working on to send to the governors of Michigan and California, as well as their AGs. I still have only received one response from the lawmakers I originally contacted.

I cannot thank you all enough for the donations I’ve received to help keep us afloat while we navigate all of this. While my credit union overturned the fraud claims, the donations helped me to pay half my surgical co-pay, and my surgery wasn’t delayed while waiting for the credit union to make their decision and return the money to my account. PayPal, however, deemed the massive transaction taken through their service valid. After all, I’ve paid for ads with Facebook in the past, right? If I was willing to pay $25 once or twice a year, I would clearly be interested in paying thousands in a single transaction. My next hurdle is convincing them that my bank finding fraud just might be a sign that fraud was indeed committed, but as the funds were taken via ACH and not a debit card, my credit union feels my beef is with PayPal on that one.

I cannot stress enough that no one should be using Facebook ads or Facebook marketplace. A few people have told me that they only use their credit card, so if fraud is committed, they’re protected. But you’re not protected from hacks, and I believe these people are only targeting users who are active on marketplace or who are running ads.

I’ve had a few questions, comments, and concerns about the donations that I would like to address, however:

“I really wish I could afford to help.” Well, I really wish you were in better financial circumstances, too, but not because I want your money. I want you to not be worried about money. I would feel wretched if someone gave me something they didn’t have to give. The fact that you care is donation enough. Not all support is monetary. Do you read this blog? Do you like being on the Discord talking to people? Does your day feel cooler if you read something I post? That’s helping. Don’t ever feel bad if you can’t just hand me money. Don’t feel bad if you can’t be a Patron or buy my books. I’m glad you’re here. But if you wanted to do a little bit extra in a non-monetary way and you can, it would be awesome if you’d contact your local lawmakers about how Facebook uses their lax security to rob paying customers, or tell people you know that they could be in danger by using Facebook ads and marketplace.

“If you had thousands of dollars in the first place, you don’t need help.” I definitely am better off than I was when I was on food stamps, and I know how lucky I am that I got out of that cycle. But I’m not one of those rich indie authors. There are probably five of those. Without getting too into detail about my personal finances, my business account doesn’t receive weekly paychecks. I get paid once a month from some retailers, and sometimes the checks are as small as $12.00. There are quarterly royalties from my backlists and the occasional advance from a serialized platform. I pay myself a salary from the business, and I can only pay myself what the business can afford. My work requires investment: stock art and covers, editing, advertising, payroll service, website and domain fees, software subscriptions (why the fuck did everything become a god damn subscription?!), office supplies, travel (I have signing events coming up this year), postage, I even have to pay into unemployment despite being a sole proprietor, in case I fire myself someday. When I say “thousands,” what I mean is, “around six months worth of operating expenses and my salary, to be budgeted and rationed out.” Not “my vast disposable income.”

“I tried to donate, but Ko-Fi didn’t accept my payment.” Those of you who have come to me to tell me this already have this answer, but in case it comes up again: I’m not sure why Ko-Fi would reject your payment. Ko-Fi’s advice was to check with your bank or credit card people to see why the payment failed. And even if you’re like, eh, too much work, look. Your heart was in it. And I appreciate it. See item one on this list.

“If you get all your money back, what will you use the donations for?” Ultimately, I’d like to file a civil suit against Facebook. There are a few obstacles in the way, but I’ve already started my research. I don’t think I’m going to Erin Brockovich this thing; I know I won’t win, but it’s worth it to waste their time and money and hopefully raise more awareness of the problem. Every single person I spoke to at my credit union, from the fraud department to the local branch employees, said that this is a widespread issue they are very familiar with. How this has continued on is mindblowing.

In other news, as I’m slowly getting back to work, I was able to edit and post a new episode of Jealous Haters AV Club! I had filmed this before my surgery, but didn’t get a chance to caption and post it. It’s here, it’s infuriating, but the bonus is that you get to see me struggle with my speech impediment for like two minutes.

I’d love to be able to get the next Bridgerton and Buffy reacts up soon, but it’s only been a week and sitting up is still surprisingly painful after a little bit. I kinda expected I would be in bed for a couple days and then right back to normal. But that is because I am always delusional about my healing abilities. I straight up believe that I’m Wolverine.

My daughter and I also plan to do a special edition Jealous Haters AV Club installment on Ice Breaker, something that I suggested to contain and somewhat stem the flow of her pure hatred. I was like, “Why not save up this anger that’s constantly spewing out of you and we’ll make a video and you can tell like a thousand people how much you think this book sucks?” There is no ire like that of a teen reader who bought into hype and regretted it.

So, there’s stuff coming up, but slowly. Thanks for sticking with me!

A Court of Jealousy and Haters: ACOTAR chapter 43 or “Feyre Everdeen”

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I’m shamelessly plugging my new Fantasy Romance serial in the intro to an unrelated post. Join the new Patreon tier or my Ream page or read it on Kindle Vella.

As promised, I’m importing the A Court of Thorns and Roses recaps here from Patreon. These were originally written beginning in August of 2020, so there will be references to upcoming or seasonal events that won’t fit with our current timeline. I am not a time traveler and you’ll never be able to prove that I am. I will also include editors notes like this every now and then as we go, mostly to amuse myself but to give re-read value to those who’ve already been on this awful, awful journey with me.

A Court of Jealousy and Haters: ACOTAR chapter 19 or “Don’t worry. The paint has arrived.”

Posted in Uncategorized

As promised, I’m importing the A Court of Thorns and Roses recaps here from Patreon. These were originally written beginning in August of 2020, so there will be references to upcoming or seasonal events that won’t fit with our current timeline. I am not a time traveler and you’ll never be able to prove that I am. I will also include editors notes like this every now and then as we go, mostly to amuse myself but to give re-read value to those who’ve already been on this awful, awful journey with me.

A Court of Jealous and Haters: ACOTAR chapter 17, “Did she take your wings? You never mentioned if she took your wings.”

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Just a heads up that sign-up for my new Patreon tier and my Ream page are live in advance of this Thursday’s premiere of The Ogre’s Fairytale Bride.

As promised, I’m importing the A Court of Thorns and Roses recaps here from Patreon. These were originally written beginning in August of 2020, so there will be references to upcoming or seasonal events that won’t fit with our current timeline. I am not a time traveler and you’ll never be able to prove that I am. I will also include editors notes like this every now and then as we go, mostly to amuse myself but to give re-read value to those who’ve already been on this awful, awful journey with me.

With every chapter of this book, I have to sit back and go, is this really a bad chapter/bad writing, or is your judgment clouded by the chapters you’ve already read. But now that we’re up to seventeen chapters, I really do feel like, okay, seventeen chapters is seventeen chances for me to be fair.

And this book has used those gracious chances up.

After this, the gloves are coming off.

A Court of Jealousy and Haters: ACOTAR chapter 16 or “Forget what you read before, we’re doing this now.”

Posted in Uncategorized

As promised, I’m importing the A Court of Thorns and Roses recaps here from Patreon. These were originally written beginning in August of 2020, so there will be references to upcoming or seasonal events that won’t fit with our current timeline. I am not a time traveler and you’ll never be able to prove that I am. I will also include editors notes like this every now and then as we go, mostly to amuse myself but to give re-read value to those who’ve already been on this awful, awful journey with me.

A Court of Jealousy and Haters: ACOTAR chapter 9, or “I don’t think I’m reading the same book you’re writing.”

Posted in Uncategorized

As promised, I’m importing the A Court of Thorns and Roses recaps here from Patreon. These were originally written beginning in August of 2020, so there will be references to upcoming or seasonal events that won’t fit with our current timeline. I am not a time traveler and you’ll never be able to prove that I am. I will also include editors notes like this every now and then as we go, mostly to amuse myself but to give re-read value to those who’ve already been on this awful, awful journey with me.

The prompt for this text window was “how’s your next thing coming?” and like, you’re gonna have to be more specific, Patreon. This is the year of Chaotic Creation and I have my fingers in so many pies at the moment.

But I’ll never forget my true passion, reading really popular books and becoming so increasingly disillusioned about the publishing industry that I am slowly turning into a chestnut.

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