In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone wants to track down whoever is responsible for programming Microsoft Word and slash their tires. She will also recap every episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer with an eye to the following themes:
- Sex is the real villain of the Buffy The Vampire Slayer universe.
- Giles is totally in love with Buffy.
- Joyce is a fucking terrible parent.
- Willow’s magic is utterly useless (this one won’t be an issue until season 2, when she gets a chance to become a witch)
- Xander is a textbook Nice Guy.
- The show isn’t as feminist as people claim.
- All the monsters look like wieners.
- If ambivalence to possible danger were an Olympic sport, Team Sunnydale would take the gold.
- Angel is a dick.
- Harmony is the strongest female character on the show.
- Team sports are portrayed in an extremely negative light.
- Some of this shit is racist as fuck.
- Science and technology are not to be trusted.
- Mental illness is stigmatized.
- Only Willow can use a computer.
- Buffy’s strength is flexible at the plot’s convenience.
- Cheap laughs and desperate grabs at plot plausibility are made through Xenophobia.
- Oz is the Anti-Xander
- Spike is capable of love despite his lack of soul
- Don’t freaking tell me the vampires don’t need to breathe because they’re constantly out of frickin’ breath.
- The foreshadowing on this show is freaking amazing.
- Smoking is evil.
- Despite praise for its positive portrayal of non-straight sexualities, some of this shit is homophobic as fuck.
- How do these kids know all these outdated references, anyway?
- Technology is used inconsistently as per its convenience in the script.
Have I missed any that were added in past recaps? Let me know in the comments. Even though I might forget that you mentioned it.
WARNING: Some people have mentioned they’re watching along with me, and that’s awesome, but I’ve seen the entire series already and I’ll probably mention things that happen in later seasons. So… you know, take that under consideration, if you’re a person who can’t enjoy something if you know future details about it.
CONTENT WARNING: CHILD DEATH
Hey there, everybody! As you know (or might not, because I’m bad at doing my own promotion), I have two new books coming out on August 4th! They’re both called First Time, and they’re both the same story, one written from the hero’s POV, one from the heroine’s POV. If you interested, you can read more about them here, and preorder them if you want.
However, since these are self-published, I am up to my sight orbs in work. I’m formatting them for print and e-book, making print covers, ordering proofs, the week is a nightmare. So, while I’m trying to keep everything on track, things might get a little behind. Them’s the breaks.
Someone recently asked about a “schedule” for Grey recaps. What I’m doing right now is trying to rotate all my recaps on a regular cycle. A Grey recap, then an Apolonia recap, then a Buffy recap, etc. The next Buffy recap may well be this week, as I’m almost finished with it. But again, I’m working like a trained circus bear on a matinee day trying to get all of this done.
I did have to stop and acknowledge, though, some of the cool stuff people have been sending me lately:
If you sent me something recently and I didn’t acknowledge it, I’m trash and I’m sorry. Let me know and I’ll make a video about that, too, because I don’t want anyone’s gifts to be unappreciated. Also, thank you all for the birthday cards!
So thank you for your patience, thanks to everyone who has pre-ordered First Time, and thanks for generally just being rad.
Hey there, everybody! The latest (and way, way delayed) chapter of my free Wattpad serial, The Afflicted, has been posted! Thanks to everyone who patiently waited for this! You can read the chapter here, and if you haven’t been following along from the beginning, you can start here.
After her father’s death and her mother’s hasty remarriage, Evelyn Whitney is handed over to the Shaker commune of Bannock, New York, into a life she has little chance of escaping. When the dead become monsters and community loyalties fracture, Evelyn must rely on John Quill, a young hired man, for protection from the terrors outside the commune, and the dangers within.
Hey everybody! Sydney Blahnik has been selected to play cornerback on the All-American team in the Women’s Football Alliance’s all-star game, but she has to pay for her own travel. She’s trying to raise $1,000.00 to cover her expenses so she can go and play!
The game is on August 8th, 2015 in Los Angeles, California, so there’s not much time left to raise the funds. If you have some to spare, Sydney would appreciate it!
In case you didn’t see news accounts of the dramatic full arc quadruple rainbow appearing over the hospital where I was born, or you didn’t witness one of the tremendous parades held in my honor, today is my birthday. Or as it’s known in my head every morning, my personal best record for consecutive days alive. Since it’s a nice number that’s easily divisible by five (my favorite kind of number), I thought I’d take you on a walk down memory lane.
Join me, won’t you, for Jenny Trout: 35 Years of Excellence.
[This is an image heavy post. Click the "read more" with caution]
From time to time, I turn over the blog to a citizen of Trout Nation who’s written a book and wants to get their promo out there. Today we’ve got A.R. Davis, here to tell you about her book, The Beast, and to share some anxiety that debut authors can definitely relate to!
My name is A. R. Davis and I love to write. I love to share stories with people, and I love making things up. I hope you’ll at least like one of my stories, if not all of them. My first book, The Beast, is coming out soon, and I’m not going to lie, I’m scared to death. I’m not scared of the criticism I’ll face or that people will pick up the book, dismiss it and get rid of it. I’m scared of the apathy. I’m scared that I’ll fail to convince people to even give me a shot. Those are the kinds of fears that keep me up some nights.
I’m hoping that, if you’re reading this blog post, I can at least convince you to give me a shot.
You can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. My twitter is @writerardavis. I would love to hear from you, whether you love my book, hate my book, or haven’t even read it at all and have no wish to. I like getting messages. I’ll do my best to respond to them. I have a full-time job as well, so please understand I’m not ignoring you if I don’t get to you right away. I’m hoping to make this my full-time job one day, but until then, bills need to be paid.
The citizens of Leola live in fear of the dense, dark forest that borders their town. Men disappear into the brush or are found dismembered as if they were attacked by a rabid Beast. But fear of a different kind also breeds in the citizens of Leola.
For Valerie Mason, starvation is worse than potentially disappearing. With her former guardsman father drowning his troubles in spirits, it’s up to Valerie to keep them afloat by any means necessary…even if it means breaking the law.
Young Aubrey, the future Lord of Leola, fears that once he dies, the pages of his personal history will be left blank. When he hears of the dangers threatening his town, he knows the only way ensure that he lives on in the memory of his people is to venture into the forest and defend it himself…even if it might cost him his life.
Valerie and Young Aubrey must each breach the veil of trees again and again on their own quests. Will Valerie or Young Aubrey emerge victorious, or will they fall victim to their own demons and The Beast?
Read on for the prologue of The Beast…
Aaaand we’re back.
Since the announcement of Grey, I’ve had some Tumblr messages and a few emails asking me if I would ever rewrite the Boss series from Neil’s POV. I can’t see a way that I could do that without being extremely derivative of E.L.’s move, but it would be an interesting project. In the meantime, I do have dual POV novels coming out on August 4th, entitled First Time. You can pre-order them now, if you’re interested.
Other thing: I get messages every now and then from people who are like, “I want to donate to your blog,” or whatever. And I appreciate it, and I always tell people to buy my books if they’re interested in supporting me, but if you’d prefer, I put up a Patreon. The higher level donations are definitely intended to be one time only, so please be sure to cancel your subscription or whatever after you make the one-time donation.
This day in history: Actress Barbara Stuart, of Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C. fame, died.
For your reference and enjoyment, here’s my chapter three recap of Fifty Shades of Grey.
Now, let’s do this: