FADE IN:
INT. TEENAGER’S BEDROOM, MORNING.
TEENAGER, a spindly, awkward young blond boy, sleeps open-mouthedly in a puddle of his own drool. He is cocooned in several blankets like a sweet baby angel, if sweet baby angels lived inside burritos. He is awakened by his mother, JENNY TROUT, who takes particular delight in this morning ritual.
Jenny kicks the door open.
JENNY
Wake up, Assbutt! The Cubs won the World Series!
TEENAGER
[groggily]
What?
JENNY
The Cubs won the World Series. For the first time in a hundred and eight years.
TEENAGER
What is that?
JENNY
The Cubs? The Chicago Cubs?
TEENAGER
What the fuck is a Chicago cup?
JENNY
Not the cup, the World Series.
TEENAGER
No, you said Chicago cup.
JENNY
The Chicago Cubs.
TEENAGER
What time is it?
JENNY
It’s a big deal. It’s been a hundred and eight years, dude. Everybody is psyched.
TEENAGER
I don’t even know what a Chicago cup is!
JENNY
It’s baseball! The Chicago Cubs are a baseball team.
TEENAGER
[angrily]
Good for them!
JENNY
Wait, do you seriously not know what the World Series is?
TEENAGER
No. I seriously do not care.
JENNY
Oh. Well, it’s time to get up. And something stinks in here.
FADE OUT.
THE END
Congratulations to all my Cubs fan friends out there! Hollywood couldn’t have written a better, more dramatic ball game than the curse-breaker you got last night.