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Dear MAGA: We’re Not Your Weapon

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I’ve largely kept my mouth shut about Stephen Colbert’s remark about Trump’s mouth being Putin’s dick holster. Mostly because I expect allies to fuck up every so often. And I say that without malice; even with the best of intentions, we all fuck up sometimes over something. It happens. I do it literally all the time. But I just don’t have the energy to be outraged at Colbert. I’ve learned the limits of my stamina since November, and every day those limits are tested again and again. I’m not going to ride into the fire to defend Colbert, and I’m pretty pissed that the left is now embracing “free speech” as a defense against making a homophobic joke just because it’s one of ours who’s come under fire. But no, I can’t be shocked and furious over the joke itself. I just don’t have it in me.

Good thing the conservatives are there to be outraged for me! They want Colbert fired for his intolerance. They want him investigated. They want his show fined. They want us to boycott CBS. They want justice for the gays because this kind of homophobia will not stand!

So, I have a question for the MAGA crowd: Just how fucking stupid do you think we are?

You supported a candidate who endorses electrocuting queer kids in order to fix them. You don’t get to be mad about a homophobic joke.

You believed that your precious marital vows would be sullied if your gay neighbors tied the knot. You don’t get to be mad about a homophobic joke.

You’re cheering whenever some white trash wedding planner in Christislordsville, India won’t work with a gay couple.

You’re silent about the mass genocide being committed against gay and bisexual men in Chechnya, because you’re secretly cheering it on and fantasizing about the day it will happen here.

You don’t get to be mad about a homophobic joke.

You don’t care about us. You want us dead. Your churches preach love for your fellow man, so long as that man is straight. You try to take our children from our homes. You drive us out of your communities. Some of you murder us or rape us to teach us a lesson. You shun your own children, send them to abusive “therapy,” turn them onto the streets, then accuse us of being sexual predators when we take them in.

You’ve called us fags, dykes, and queers so often that we’ve had to wrench those words away from you. “Well, I’ve never used those words!” you insist. Yes, you have. You have used those words as slurs, you have made homophobic jokes that were a thousand times crueler than anything Colbert said on his show. Hatred for us has flowed over your lips, through your keyboards like flash floods of human waste.

“But if Hannity said–” Hannity has said worse.

“But if that was on Fox News–” Fox News has said worse.

“Why is it okay if–” It’s not okay. It’s never okay to imply that same-gender relations are degrading.

It’s those questions that give you away. You want to know why you can’t be openly homophobic in the most graphic language possible without anyone objecting to it. You’re fighting for the right to say whatever you want about us without consequence. You’re telling us that if we’re not joining you in your transparently disingenuous social conscientiousness, we have to lie down and let you stomp over our rights, our liberty, our lives until there’s nothing left of us. You don’t want Stephen Colbert fired. You want us to give you permission to dehumanize and destroy us.

Should Colbert have said what he said? No. It was tasteless and contributed to that deep-seated fear of sexual intimacy between partners of the same gender. But is it as damaging as anything your side has done? Is it as damaging as the harm you’re all so proud of causing?

Now you want to use us as a weapon against a man who has offended your tangerine demigod? No. No, we are not here for you. We see you working every single day to destroy us, and we see what you’re really mad about: someone implied that your object of mindless adoration could ever possibly be like us. That offends you more than Colbert’s homophobic statement or “profanity” ever could.

I won’t call this virtue signaling, because the term is asinine and you can’t virtue signal if you have no virtues, anyway. Stow your faux outrage, keep your hands off of us.

Our lives are not for you. We don’t want your fake concern.

We are not your weapon.

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  1. Suze

    Thank you for this. Thank you for saying what has been ticking in my head since the whole asinine #FireColbert controversy. His joke was offensive and tasteless, and he fucked up. But fuck conservatives who are now raging against him when they’ve said and done worse for decades. Thank you.

    May 8, 2017
    • shel

      He also came out and admitted he made a poor choice of words, which I can respect. Make mistakes and own up to it, and we’re all good.

      May 8, 2017
  2. Laura

    Seriously, yes, thank you. This had to be said and you said it perfectly.

    May 8, 2017
  3. ann

    thank you again for putting into words what I have been feeling. Colbert’s choice of insult is certainly regrettable, but the drumpf supporters don’t even understand why. their anger against Colbert is because they think accusing someone of being gay is demeaning to his ego/status, not that using same-sex sexual activity as an insult is bad because it is unfair and unkind to people who identify as homosexual or bi.

    May 8, 2017
  4. Bunny

    Ugh Trump and his supporters.

    May 8, 2017
  5. I mean yes I was most unimpressed by Colbert’s homophobic bullshit and similarly unimpressed by the number of people not targetted by this homophobic “joke” rushing in to defend and dismissing this (oh you guys don’t you call yourselves allies any more, I see you)

    But fired? Fine MAGA folks let’s do this. Let’s fire every homophobia who has run their mouth on television or radio (let’s throw in print as well) . Let’s make a list and prioritise it. Yeah you can put Colbert on that list and in 20 years time we’ll get to him. But not before we mine through… well EVERY media personality you have

    May 8, 2017
  6. Nyeh

    Don’t get mad, but I am confused. I thought you were straight? You’re married to a man, aren’t you? Saying “us” and “we” implies you’re part of the LGBT community. That’s totally fine if you are, but I honestly thought you were straight. Please do not take this the wrong way and be mad. I am just confused, that’s all.

    May 8, 2017
    • JennyTrout

      I’m bisexual and married to a man. I didn’t come out publicly until last year or maybe the year before, so there are past entries here where I’ve IDed myself as straight.

      May 8, 2017
  7. Sam Beringer
    Sam Beringer

    I’m neutral about Colbert and his joke (speaking as a queer woman); on one hand, you pointed out how homophobic it was. On the other hand, I think the intent was more mocking 45’s ties to Putin and I did find some other gay people who thought it was funny. So the homophobic part didn’t cross my mind until you pointed it out.

    With all that said, yeah; it’s just like the shooting at the Pulse night club. Pretending that they’re supportive just to justify hatred for another group they hate more, whether it’s Muslims or critics.

    May 8, 2017
    • A. Noyd
      A. Noyd

      on one hand, you pointed out how homophobic it was. On the other hand, I think the intent was more mocking 45’s ties to Putin

      Those are not mutually exclusive. Colbert was mocking Trump’s ties to Putin by likening those ties to being the receiving partner in gay sex. And it wasn’t just homophobic but misogynistic as well. Gay men who get penetrated are seen as especially icky because that makes them like women.

      May 9, 2017
  8. Hannah

    You’ve said it perfectly. Thank you.

    May 8, 2017
  9. Victoriana

    Ugh, they are so transparent, aren’t they? I’m with you though that I can’t muster the outrage over most of the (comparatively) little things I used to anymore, because my outrage meter has been so skewed by all the Trump/GOP crap.

    May 9, 2017
  10. candy apple
    candy apple

    Thank you, Jenny, that was amazing.

    May 9, 2017
  11. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. I can’t bring myself to be outraged over Colbert, it’s just not a big enough fuckup to get all worked up over, and when someone who usually encourages and participates in this kind behavior gets worked up over it, it’s just such a pathetically transparent excuse to get rid of Colbert.

    Otoh I haven’t actually seen any MAGAs getting all worked up over this? Maybe I run in really lefty circles and don’t see MAGAs anywhere, ever? Is this randos on Twitter, or are right-wing news organizations getting involved?

    May 13, 2017
    • (also you’re missing a couple of letters in Indiana, just a head’s up; normally I don’t care but it says India and I was momentarily confused that this was suddenly an international issue)

      May 13, 2017
  12. anon

    I’m just happy I had to google what MAGA meant…

    May 14, 2017
    • Brittany

      Hahahaha me too, anon, me too.

      May 17, 2017

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