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I watched Faleena Hopkins’s scary video. All 1 hour and 39 minutes of it.

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Hey everybody! I will be MIA from the cyberbullying and mob of haters for a few days because I’m going to beautiful Mackinac Island tomorrow and I’m not coming back until Friday. But I’ll leave you this tweet. Follow it for a very long thread recapping the bizarre and infuriating video Faleena Hopkins made on Facebook Live in the middle of the night.

Highlights:

  • We’re mad because we’re jealous of her fame and success
  • Bring on the hate. She can take it.
  • But she has to have someone else read the mean comments so she can protect herself
  • She isn’t hurting the authors she’s sent takedown notices to, their readers are hurting them by attacking her
  • Also, you can’t attack her because in doing so you’re calling autistic people stupid
  • Oh, and she’s a descendant of a slave so you really can’t attack her
  • (But apparently, most of the authors she’s targeted with takedowns are black)
  • Authors whose books have been removed or retitled are pretending to be victims for attention
  • “You know who you are.”

The first tweet in the thread is below, go check it out if your morbid curiosity leads you there.

 

Also, there’s been a huge surge in traffic to the site (it was actually down for a while yesterday), so if you’re putting your eyes on this stuff and liking it and you feel like tossing a buck my way, there’s a “buy me a coffee” button to the right of this post.

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145 Comments

  1. Gretel
    Gretel

    Thanks for the Twitter thread. That was a wild ride and Flördiböp seems unhinged and like a toxic nightmare of a person. I also got the “Cathy” vibe and I felt uneasy just reading your tweets.
    I really hope she doesn’t start even worse attacks on authors.

    I was just thinking today of “buying you a coffee”, however I got bad news today… I’ve been unemployed for a long time (working internships during and after graduation…the only thing I could get yay millenial life…) and today, two months too late, the unemployment insurance fund (or whatever you call it in English) sent me a letter saying “Naw you don’t get any money” so I’ve been living from March’s scraps and I’m kinda financially fucked.
    Long story short, I won’t be able to send you a few bucks, as I had intended to, but I’ll do later as soon as I got the situation settled and money on my bank account.

    May 8, 2018
    |Reply
    • JennyTrout
      JennyTrout

      Oh shit! Glad you got that handled. And donations are NEVER mandatory.

      May 8, 2018
      |Reply
      • JennyTrout
        JennyTrout

        Oh, shit. You don’t have it handled yet, I misread. So I hope you get that handled! That’s a no fun situation to have to deal with.

        May 8, 2018
        |Reply
        • Gretel
          Gretel

          Thank you for your kind words! <3
          I know it's not mandatory but I want to support the people that give me so much joy and you're one of those people. It's important to give people something back because I know how hard financial problems are and I love your work so it's not mandatory, it's a pleasure. <3

          May 9, 2018
          |Reply
  2. This is a work of performance art, it has to be.

    I still question how this woman, so utterly incapable of staying on point for 10 minutes, managed to write any books.

    May 8, 2018
    |Reply
  3. […] Earlier today, Hopkins’ author page on Facebook was taken down, along with the video. For anyone still interested in what the author has to say (spoiler alert: there is no apology, no justification, and no reasonable explanation), Jenny Trout live-tweeted the entire experience for those who were unable to watch it and then posted about the experience on her site. […]

    May 8, 2018
    |Reply
  4. ViolettaD
    ViolettaD

    The vid is up here, or was last I looked:

    https://youtu.be/96CjvfJTTHM

    I suggest reading Jenny’s live tweets first (or even instead of). I’ve only watched a few minutes, but had to take a break after the first pseudo-Tourette’s episode.

    Again, I wonder exactly what her connection is with the law firm she has mentioned, since the first bit if legal advice most lawyers would give is not to release such a video.

    Is there any evidence that someone has been harassing her models?

    May 8, 2018
    |Reply
    • Maggie
      Maggie

      They’d also be telling their client not to write their own cease and desist letters/emails. Lawyers are the ones that craft those. And if the one that’s come out was written by a lawyer who went to real law school I will eat my goddamn shoe.

      May 8, 2018
      |Reply
      • Willow
        Willow

        Maybe it was written by a lawyer who went to Cooley law school?

        May 9, 2018
        |Reply
        • ViolettaD
          ViolettaD

          Hollywood Upstairs Law School.

          May 10, 2018
          |Reply
      • ViolettaD
        ViolettaD

        “…due to a copyright claim by Faleena Hopkins.”

        I guess when your only weapon is a hammer, the whole world looks like a nail.

        May 9, 2018
        |Reply
        • Anon
          Anon

          Wait … wasn’t the video HER? Is she making a copyright claim against herself??

          May 9, 2018
          |Reply
          • ViolettaD
            ViolettaD

            She’s pretending she’s Vevo on YouTube.

            Which means it may show up on Vimeo at any moment.

            C’mon, Fajita, once it’s out there, it’s OUT THERE. SOMEBODY has it.

            May 9, 2018
          • Anon
            Anon

            I’m morbidly curious. I want to watch it!

            May 9, 2018
  5. Renae
    Renae

    For anyone who didn’t get to see the video before her page got taken down, some sweet soul put it up on YouTube for the world.

    May 8, 2018
    |Reply
    • ASMR Bookclub
      ASMR Bookclub

      I don’t want to watch this… but I SO WANT TO WATCH THIS.

      May 9, 2018
      |Reply
      • Teresa Mazon
        Teresa Mazon

        Ohhhh, I so much understand that. Same for me. I don’t honestly want to give her a minute of my time, on the other, I want to hear her to be able to “diagnose” her, ha ha.

        June 30, 2018
        |Reply
  6. Evil!Blonde Bitch
    Evil!Blonde Bitch

    Oh god. Cringe. The thing that infuriated me most is that “I descended from slaves, you can’t attack me!”
    Bitch, I am descended from a freaking king of England. That does *not* mean I expect people to give me the red carpet and VIP passes everywhere. You know why? Because it is MY merit that gets me anywhere in life, not my ancestors’! And if I pull bullshit, it is people’s absolute right to tell me I’m being an ass. The rules apply to you, Faleena.
    YOU are bullying authors. YOU have made yourself look bad. YOU caused this situation, and your ancestors influence fuck nothing. #ByeFaleena

    May 8, 2018
    |Reply
    • I’m descended from Lady Godiva, so you can’t tell ME I can’t be naked in Target!

      May 9, 2018
      |Reply
      • HerImperialMaj
        HerImperialMaj

        That’s amazing. You’re my new favourite.

        May 9, 2018
        |Reply
      • Teresa Mazon
        Teresa Mazon

        Brilliant!

        June 30, 2018
        |Reply
  7. HerImperialMaj
    HerImperialMaj

    Um, Jenny, if Cathy’s real name was Faleena, you’d … you’d tell us, right?

    May 8, 2018
    |Reply
    • ViolettaD
      ViolettaD

      I wonder if her parents named her, or she named herself, after Marty Robbins’ old ballad “El Paso.”

      May 8, 2018
      |Reply
      • No, no, Violetta, please don’t bring Marty Robbins into this!

        May 9, 2018
        |Reply
      • PJ Harrison
        PJ Harrison

        That’s spelled Felina [Spanish] or Philena [Greek]. Faleena is the “I have no clue what I’m doing but I’m gonna use this so lets sound it out” version. My mother was a Philena named after my Grandmother’s fiance’s [who died in WWI] mother. She named her first daughter after his mother. Marty’s song was Felina. Faleena is a made up class all her own…

        July 25, 2018
        |Reply
  8. Kathryn
    Kathryn

    JFC, that video is chilling. Like, I’ve seen her comments and posts, and still I was unprepared for how stone cold she is.

    Kudos to you for watching the whole thing, Jenny; you are a braver soul than I.

    May 8, 2018
    |Reply
  9. Jennifer
    Jennifer

    If I didn’t know so many indie authors in the romance/erotica/contemporary community I would probably watch this clusterf**k from afar silently. But I can’t because the authors in our community are rockstars. They are kind, determined, hardworking, creative, loving, supportive and genuine people. They are not a mob of bullies as Ms. Hopkins seems to want to believe to justify the backlash she’s receiving. Until Saturday I had no clue who she was. No one from any of the 30 plus readers groups I’m in, dozens of authors pages/groups, 10 plus blogs or website has ever sent anything written by Faleena Hopkins to me as a recommendation in the past 5 years. It still baffles me since I’m so active in this community as a reader who spend up to $30 a week on ebooks. I’m not the only one who asked “Faleena who?” but she seems to have been very successful with her writing. And I’m not in any way going to imply that she didn’t work hard to get that success. I’m also not going to ignore the hard work that the people she decided to step on in this community put forth for their success though. As a reader, personally, I feel privileged to be a part of this world. I’m humbled by the kindness and support I see authors giving each other. I’m so grateful that even though my favorite authors have their own personal lives that come first, they still take the time to bring their characters to life and share them with us. To any and every author who might be reading this: THANK YOU. You bring me joy, you bring me laughter, you move me to tears, you make me want to break my Kindle in half sometimes with a plot twist sometimes. And I love every single second of it. I’m privileged to be a beta reader for several authors. We put some of you through hell with our feedback but never once do you complain. Being a part of the process that creates such utterly fantastic stories is indescribable. Like so many others, I wish I could solve this for you because you did nothing, NOTHING wrong, and you do not deserve this. If it makes a difference, please remember this: Ms. Hopkins attempt to censor this the authors of this community (because taking legal action against a fellow author for using an adjective she didn’t create herself, but simply decided “THAT’S MINE! I’m not sharing!” is censorship. It’s not a brand.) is what she will now be known for. Not her characters, not her stories, not her hard work. THIS. That’s her legacy. She’s the Monica Lewinsky of indie romance. All it cost her was the respect of this community.

    May 8, 2018
    |Reply
    • ViolettaD
      ViolettaD

      Don’t diss Lewinsky by comparing this manipulative creature with her. Had Lewinsky been more a calculating gold-digger and less the victim of a genuine schoolgirl crush on her boss, she would have fared much better in life.

      May 8, 2018
      |Reply
      • Anon
        Anon

        What Violetta said. I don’t see anything comparable between those two women. That’s an odd comparison.

        May 9, 2018
        |Reply
        • Yeah I think Faleena’s more the Melania Trump here, tbh.

          May 10, 2018
          |Reply
          • Jamoche
            Jamoche

            More of a Rosie Ruiz.

            May 22, 2018
  10. She-

    Um. THE WHITE CHICK SERIOUSLY PULLED AN “I WAS DESCENDED FROM SLAVES”?!

    You are cancelled forever, Faleena. You suck. If you are THAT oblivious, then no, you don’t deserve a public platform.

    May 8, 2018
    |Reply
    • Liz
      Liz

      Yeah.

      That actually happened.

      Someone is that fucking clueless and stupid.

      May 9, 2018
      |Reply
  11. Amy
    Amy

    Miss Faleena, I’m a POC woman as well. If this was an issue of race, I’ll stand by you, but this has nothing to do with race, it has to do with you being a hungry, greedy, selfish person.

    May 8, 2018
    |Reply
  12. ViolettaD
    ViolettaD

    OK, made it to 8 minutes now, finally figured out what she reminds me of:

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=I0xlTQiOzYE

    Some kind of trigger warning might be in order here, so I’ll just say Malignant Narcissist and/or Sociopath Alert.

    May 8, 2018
    |Reply
    • HerImperialMaj
      HerImperialMaj

      I clicked on the link, saw the opening shot, whispered “Oh God” and closed the tab immediately. Damn, there’s really no preparing for that shit.

      May 9, 2018
      |Reply
      • ViolettaD
        ViolettaD

        No, there isn’t any way to prepare.

        What’s striking is the attempt on both to project an image of confidence, even arrogance. “Look at me, I’m so menacing.” No, what both videos show is a scared little shit who has to attack others, whether it’s through bullets or bogus lawsuits, to feel powerful.

        “Fear is the path to the dark side…fear leads to anger…anger leads to hate…hate leads to suffering.”

        May 9, 2018
        |Reply
    • vee
      vee

      YES OH MY GOD AND HOLY SHIT. You are not wrong. You are not wrong in ANY damned way. That is EXACTLY the demeanor. The supercilious, smug, arrogant-pretending-to-be-righteous vibe. Ho. Lee. Shitballs. You nailed it.

      May 11, 2018
      |Reply
  13. Maggie
    Maggie

    She seriously reminds me so so much of Laurell K Hamilton. I used to be a fan of Hamilton but that changed completely after the way she acted at a signing she did years ago at the bookstore I work at. I don’t think Hamilton, or Faleena realize that pissing off potential readers, especially if they’re booksellers or fellow authors is the worst idea in the world because your books will not get rec’d and in fact, people will warn other readers away from them because nobody wants to support someone who treats people like shit.

    May 8, 2018
    |Reply
    • Anonymous
      Anonymous

      I had that exact impression too! I mentioned it in Jenny’s previous entry – she even has sort of the same speech pattern that LKH does.

      May 8, 2018
      |Reply
      • Maggie
        Maggie

        She really does. And the same sort of I’m the best and everyone is just a jealous hater attitude that LKH has.

        May 9, 2018
        |Reply
    • Athena
      Athena

      God yes! From the first few seconds, that’s all I could think of. The way she speaks was almost exactly like LKH in her vids, and the tone and wording were so reminiscent of “Dear Negative Reader” I was literally gobsmacked. And I’ve only watched about three minutes of Faileena.

      May 9, 2018
      |Reply
    • (Different) Rebecca
      (Different) Rebecca

      I recently read an author who tee-d off against her readers, but oh, you guys, it was SO classy. See, she wrote it into a book. She took every obsessed, stalker-y, “you should do this, not that, with your characters” stan and put them on blast by making them the killer, and it was fucking awesome–if you want to see it done right, read JD Robb’s latest book, Dark In Death.

      May 9, 2018
      |Reply
      • ViolettaD
        ViolettaD

        Thanks for recommendation; will read.

        May 9, 2018
        |Reply
      • Ms. Lee
        Ms. Lee

        Man, I really hate to see Nora/JD’s name in any way in the same conversation with this cluster f#@k.

        May 11, 2018
        |Reply
        • (Different) Rebecca
          (Different) Rebecca

          Just to let her shine in contrast, though, seriously. I mean, come on: book 46 of this series and she’s not gone completely dry/boring/formulaic? I’m still interested in the setting, ALL the characters, AND the sex? She’s a goddess!!

          May 12, 2018
          |Reply
  14. HerImperialMaj
    HerImperialMaj

    “I am descended from slaves.”

    Ah yes, the slaves. They also frequently abused loopholes in the legal system to bully and defraud people, and then were forced to endure snarky commentary from outsiders.

    Oh wait, that’s not at all what slaves dealt with? Slaves were victims of countless atrocities and Faleena Hopkins should shut her vile, self-sabotaging fucking mouth? Okay then.

    May 8, 2018
    |Reply
    • MamaLich
      MamaLich

      I know right? It instantly reminded me of Cassie Edwards and her, “I didn’t plagiarise anything! And even if I did, you can’t point a finger at me because my grandmother’s native american!”

      May 11, 2018
      |Reply
  15. Drea C
    Drea C

    Oh, guys. They’ve shut down reviews on her Amazon books. I tried to leave a review and it gave me a message saying the book couldn’t be reviewed. All of her books are like that.

    (Before any wild-eyed, deranged author accuses me of trying to leave unmerited 1-star reviews, let me say I DID read the first book in the [redacted] series and I was going to give an honest review of what I thought of the writing.)

    May 9, 2018
    |Reply
    • Amy
      Amy

      I started to read the first book, and it reads like a poorly written fanfic by EL James. The main male protagonist isn’t cocky, he’s a dick. Big difference.

      May 9, 2018
      |Reply
      • “poorly written fanfic by EL James”

        Yeeeowch. THAT bad?!

        May 9, 2018
        |Reply
        • ViolettaD
          ViolettaD

          “poorly written fanfic by EL James”

          Isn’t that redundant?

          May 9, 2018
          |Reply
          • Amy
            Amy

            XD Yes, you’re right.

            But it’s true. The author seems to think if the characters talk fast and loud and enthustically, that means they’re quirky and fun and witty! But in reality they sound like immature morons who are unable to control the volume of their voices.

            Here’s a gross line: “Wow, I can see your nipples through your padded bra.”

            That’s Literally one of the first things the main love interest said to the protagonist. Gross.

            May 9, 2018
          • Dove
            Dove

            Here’s a gross line: “Wow, I can see your nipples through your padded bra.”

            That’s Literally one of the first things the main love interest said to the protagonist. Gross.

            Who the hell says that unless they’re trying to be helpful? It’s not even sexy… It’s more of a surprised thought someone might have. It’s not amazing, it’s just odd.

            Because more importantly, if it’s a padded bra, how the hell are you seeing those nipples? Was he staring down a low-cut shirt and her boobs were too small, so it was hanging out a bit, and the loose fabric of the shirt didn’t tighten it up, so he was basically looking straight at the nipples? It shouldn’t be possible otherwise unless her nips were hard enough to cut diamonds or the padding and the shirt were made from super thin material since the whole point of that style is to enhance the bust or hide the nipples. Does this author even wear bras? o_o

            May 10, 2018
        • Drea C
          Drea C

          It’s true. Her characters make 50 Shades look like a masterpiece. The heroine wants to move with this guy who just sexually harassed her because he has a “britta” (sic) water pitcher in his refrigerator. Not even like a refrigerator with an in-door water dispenser, but a pitcher in his refrigerator that costs maybe $20 at Target.

          May 9, 2018
          |Reply
          • ViolettaD
            ViolettaD

            Can the Brita folks sue her for copyright infringement?

            May 9, 2018
          • God dang, you guys. My inner goddess is laughing hysterically so much that she just peed herself.

            May 9, 2018
          • Vix
            Vix

            I just read the sample on Amazon and it’s ridiculous. The heroine is already skeptical of craigslist ads from people trying to scam her bank details. The “landlord” she HAS AN APPOINTMENT WITH opens the door basically naked and starts talking about her boobs and grabs his dick. Instead of calling 911 because she has clearly graduated from the identity theft to the rapist variety of craigslist criminals, she thinks “What a funny mix-up! And I’d totally hit that.” Uh, nope…

            May 13, 2018
    • Athena
      Athena

      Out morbid curiosity I looked up her books on Amazon. (Overdrive doesn’t even have them in their not owned category.) The first three books are available in a set on Kindle Unlimited, but are labeled as the final three. She can’t even be bothered to proof that!

      May 10, 2018
      |Reply
  16. Usually Just Lurking
    Usually Just Lurking

    Got through about 15 minutes of the video. Jenny, you are spot on about the ‘performative breakdown’. I think that’s why she seems so off to people who watch the video. She’s just not a good actress. I’m not even being mean. She’s just objectively not good at acting.

    May 9, 2018
    |Reply
  17. Mercutia
    Mercutia

    Maggie, what did LKH do at the book signing? Enquiring minds want to know!

    May 9, 2018
    |Reply
    • Maggie
      Maggie

      Oohhh boy, there is quite a bit so I’ll just hit the high lights.
      First, she showed up late, which fine sometimes there’s traffic, things come up, etc. When she got there, she first demanded that we kick everyone out of the public rest room so she didn’t have to be in there at the same time as other people. Manager of the store was like yeah, that’s not happening.
      The manager offered up the office for them to hang coats, leave bags, etc, so they’d be out of the way and locked safely in the office. Instead she asked that employees not be allowed in the break room(you have to walk through it to get to the office in the employees only area), again, absolutely not because it’s required to have an area for employees for required breaks by law. So already off to a weird start.
      During the signing she and her husband(who sat next to her at the signing table to sign things as well and talk to fan, again, weird) both wore sunglasses, indoors because of “camera flashes”, y’all maybe a dozen people got pictures, like selfies with no flash.
      Most authors stay after their signings(which usually end around closing time) to chat with employees, sign things for them, since many are usually fans and don’t get a chance while working during the signing. She was one of the only ones we’ve had that didn’t do that, didn’t sign other books of hers, and was just generally rude and dismissive.
      We had 3 or 4 employees who were fans of her books before this, myself included, and we would rec the hell out of her books, after none of us were fans and stopped rec’ing her books. We went from selling 75-100 copies of each of her new books, down to maybe a couple dozen each new release, though that could also be because of the steep nosedive her books took after Obsidian Butterfly. The manager of our store actually told corporate not to seek out tour dates for her for our store.
      Meanwhile with the exact opposite Charlaine Harris and Jodi Picoult are absolutely lovely women and we would have had them back in a heart beat, and we rec’d their books all the time because of that.

      May 9, 2018
      |Reply
      • Ange
        Ange

        Awww that’s nice to hear about Charlaine.

        May 9, 2018
        |Reply
      • Athena
        Athena

        Well, you do know she was “attacked” by a “negative reader” in the bathroom of a con once upon a time, right? And Jonboi has author cred because he “helped” write some of the comics, and her wrist just can’t handle signing so much at once. /sarcasm

        I’d almost give her the wrist one, if she didn’t also say that she has to wear four-inch high-heeled boots because they’re better for her ankles than hightop sneakers.

        May 9, 2018
        |Reply
        • Maggie
          Maggie

          Yeah it was pretty soon after that “attack” from a reader. Hilariously that started off as someone saying a mean thing about not liking her books any more and morphed over the years into the woman being a giant who shoved her against the bathroom sink and threatened her.

          May 9, 2018
          |Reply
          • Athena
            Athena

            Yeah, she’s told the same stories so many times she feels she needs to keep embellishing to keep them interesting to the point that they’re complete fish tales now. Like the one of why she’s afraid to fly going from mildly rough turbulence to the stewardess plastered to the ceiling of the cab.

            May 9, 2018
        • Maggie
          Maggie

          Hahah I’d forgotten about the plane story.

          May 9, 2018
          |Reply
      • (Different) Rebecca
        (Different) Rebecca

        Obsidian Butterfly was my stopping point when I went through and weeded out my collection. Seriously, more Edward, less…well, everything else.

        May 9, 2018
        |Reply
        • Athena
          Athena

          I gave up at Cerulean Sins. So much nothing happened yet she was able to turn my favorite character into an unrepentant rapist. Shadow of things to come, I suppose. I’d already given up on her Merry series. I was on the third book and paused reading. When I picked it back up I noticed I was nearly dead center and I had read NOTHING but sex scenes. I never bothered finishing it.

          I’m not a “prude”, I just expected more than erotica for the sake of erotica.

          May 9, 2018
          |Reply
          • Maggie
            Maggie

            There’s nothing wrong with erotica is 1) that’s what you’re going in looking to read and 2) it’s well written. Sadly she still insists her books are mysteries or some such nonsense.

            May 9, 2018
          • (Different) Rebecca
            (Different) Rebecca

            Imagine if she’d gone in the Edward direction, all the wonderful stories we could have had. Edward’s backstory and how it led to him and Anita meeting. The current “normie” relationship Edward is in slowly disintegrating as his girlfriend/family comes to realize, deeply, how amoral he is, and Anita’s participation in that. Edward and Anita kicking ass together, with nary an orgy scene in sight! But no, we get her poly-group of sex-crazed submissives. Fuck.

            May 9, 2018
          • Maggie
            Maggie

            I loved Edward as a character so much, now I just want her to leave him alone because she’d probably make him suddenly in love with Anita.

            May 9, 2018
          • Maggie
            Maggie

            Don’t forget about the high school student she’s fucking while also attending his parent teacher conferences.

            May 9, 2018
          • Athena
            Athena

            Maggie, I should have been more clear. I don’t dislike erotica. I prefer a more plot driven romance, but do enjoy the occasional pure erotica. As you said though, I want to go into a book knowing it’s a romance/erotic novel. So many times I’ve picked up what I thought was going to be a paranormal thriller, only to find it was a cookie cutter romance with a vampire or werewolf thrown in because they’re popular. Again, nothing against paranormal romance (completely in love with Gail Carriger’s Parasol Protectorate series), but I want to go in knowing that’s what I’m reading.

            And yes, being well written is most definitely necessary.

            May 9, 2018
          • Athena
            Athena

            My personal headcanon is that Edward’s playing her, saying what Anita wants to hear only because she’s still useful to him. The second she’s no longer useful he’ll get rid of her and move on.

            May 9, 2018
          • (Different) Rebecca
            (Different) Rebecca

            Oh, I love erotica, too, but like…the people should be interesting as people. Marathon sex sessions are awesome, but then what do you talk about when you’re too sore to continue, is the thing.

            Love the thought of Edward playing her. Love. It.

            And if you like Gail Carriger (which I do, but…not as much as I used to), then try Genevieve Cogman’s Invisible Library series. Smarter, more intricately plotted, and less slapstick, while still sexy and funny and compelling. More sexual tension and innuendo than outright sex.

            May 9, 2018
          • Amy
            Amy

            I used to be a huge fan of her fairy-princess series, but I too was slowly realizing there was just waaaaaay too much sex going on. I remember specifically standing in Borders, opening the newest book that just came out and the very first sentence of the first page of the book was:

            “The entire room smelled like sex.”

            And then I closed the book and never read her stuff again.

            May 10, 2018
          • Athena
            Athena

            I literally put down a book by a different author at BAM that had, “If you like Anne Rice or Laurell K. Hamilton, you’ll love this,” on the cover. LKH and the aforementioned paranormal romance disguised as mystery/thriller is why I moved into YA when I wanted something non-romance.

            And then came Twilight and nothing was safe.

            May 10, 2018
      • Oooh thanks for the dish I don’t read LKH but I knew people were obsessed. I did remember reading her “Dear Negative Reader” post that someone put on a FB page and I thought she sounded like an arrogant jerk.

        May 9, 2018
        |Reply
        • Maggie
          Maggie

          I was pretty involved in the fandom for her books for years. Even before the Dear Negative Reader shit went down there were so many red flag I ignored. Pretty soon after that blog post, people started getting banned from her forums for calling out things in the books that were sexist and racist.

          May 9, 2018
          |Reply
      • Wait, which husband was it? Richard or Micah? I’m guessing it was the latter? 😉

        May 9, 2018
        |Reply
        • Maggie
          Maggie

          I seriously almost snorted limeade out my nose. The current husband wishes he was Micah, even though Micah is a rapist.

          May 9, 2018
          |Reply
      • I remember reading The Diva Ate Her, which was allegedly written about LKH by her former PA, and just dying internally, thinking “THIS is how big-time authors behave? Count. Me Out.”

        How much of it was true, I don’t know, but it was a hell of a read.

        May 10, 2018
        |Reply
        • Athena
          Athena

          I read it too, and from what I can gather from following snarking of her blog, I’m fairly certain most of it, with small changes. Though I doubt the PA was completely as blameless as the one depicted in the book.

          May 10, 2018
          |Reply
  18. ViolettaD
    ViolettaD

    There’s an “Open Letter to Faleena Hopkins” here:

    https://cassiesharpbooks.wordpress.com/2018/05/07/open-letter-to-faleena-hopkins/

    Sharp speculates that Hopkins may be truly clueless because she has not had the reality checks available to people in a writing community: yes, this is how GoodReads operates; no, you’re not being singled out by this or that procedure.

    I’m impressed by Sharp’s effort to be benevolent, but I’m not sure she has seen the video, because it’s difficult to give Hopkins the benefit of the doubt after watching even a small segment of that. Could Hopkins really not know that shutting people down on Amazon would affect sales not only in the short term, but even later? How many times have some people surfed recommendations, vaguely noted something interesting in passing, then come back to purchase days or weeks later? That initial product featuring may be crucial.

    May 9, 2018
    |Reply
    • anonymous
      anonymous

      I drew a parallel with Lani Sarem because it was the authors in the YA online community who sounded the alarm regarding her “overnight” success, and it’s the authors in the Romance online community who are stating: “We’re copying you and stealing from you? We don’t even know WHO you are!” It indicates someone who thinks they’re bigger than the collective which they’re supposedly aligned with, but not really because their motives have nothing to do with becoming an accomplished writer.

      May 9, 2018
      |Reply
  19. Ange
    Ange

    I’ve seen your original article pop up in comment sections everywhere Jenny, I’m not surprised a lot of traffic has come this way.

    May 9, 2018
    |Reply
  20. jane dow
    jane dow

    I didn’t believe it could be impossible to watch, but it really, truly is. I have a whole new kind of respect for you now, and here I thought reading through 50 Shades was the peak any mortal could achieve.

    May 9, 2018
    |Reply
  21. Bookjunk
    Bookjunk

    I love how after her warning to “leave my cover models alone” she then asks, seemingly just having found out about this completely outrageous behaviour when she heard herself saying it, “You’re harassing my cover models?” It’s so weird. Is she discovering new things as she goes along, presenting new ‘facts’ to herself, Giuliani-style?

    May 9, 2018
    |Reply
    • Small jar of fireflies
      Small jar of fireflies

      It’s because she can’t act. If you write that set of phrases down, the followup question can be taken as disbelieving outrage. Since she knows it’s not true, she can’t summon the thing she’s trying to create, disbelief. So the way she delivers it comes off as confused.

      Its the same way a liar tends to spill a flood of extra information. They know it’s not true and they put infive times the work to make it sound better to themselves.

      May 11, 2018
      |Reply
  22. Napalm Nacey
    Napalm Nacey

    Man, this takes me right back to fandom_wank/otf_wank. It’s amaaaaazing.

    May 9, 2018
    |Reply
    • ViolettaD
      ViolettaD

      Clicked on your link–I was in grad school when this was going on, and knew nothing about it.
      Holy…….
      REALLY?

      May 9, 2018
      |Reply
  23. Amy
    Amy

    Oh please ohplease oh PLEASE try to take down Kid Rock for his album “Cocky”. Maybe one of you who Tweet can point out that egregious use of her special word….

    (this woman is something else)

    May 9, 2018
    |Reply
    • Elyssa
      Elyssa

      Okay so this would be a truly good thing to come out of this debacle and I 100 percent support it with my whole heart.

      May 9, 2018
      |Reply
  24. I just read through these tweets and found your blog through them. I’m kind of disappointed that the video’s been taken down as I was morbidly curious to see it.

    I’ll just fall down the other rabbit holes on here instead!

    May 9, 2018
    |Reply
    • MayaB
      MayaB

      I can wholeheartedly recommend the 50 Shades and the Handbook for Mortals recaps. You get to procrastinate for days and learn interesting things about writing in the process.

      May 9, 2018
      |Reply
    • Gabriela Fernandez
      Gabriela Fernandez

      Seconding the above recommendations in her Jealous Hater Book Club posts! I think I have read the 50 Shades series of posts 4 times now and seeing the errors she points out have helped me weed out garbage in my own scribbles.

      May 10, 2018
      |Reply
  25. IT’S UP ON VIMEO. I’m not at home or I’d link it – I found it on my phone. Go to vimeo and search #cockygate posted from “hoe”

    May 9, 2018
    |Reply
    • ViolettaD
      ViolettaD

      What did I tell you?!! I KNEW Vimeo would get it!

      May 9, 2018
      |Reply
      • I know!! You totally called it!!

        I’m almost done with this video and holy. cheeses. christ. on A CRACKER.

        May 9, 2018
        |Reply
        • ViolettaD
          ViolettaD

          I’m not even ten minutes through yet. I just can’t take this without frequent breaks.

          May 9, 2018
          |Reply
        • ViolettaD
          ViolettaD

          Re: the long, dramatic pauses:
          *************************************

          ‘This here young lady,’ said the Gryphon, ‘she wants for to know your history, she do.’
          ‘I’ll tell it her,’ said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone: ‘sit down, both of you, and don’t speak a word till I’ve finished.’
          So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice thought to herself, ‘I don’t see how he can EVEN finish, if he doesn’t begin.’ But she waited patiently.
          ‘Once,’ said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, ‘I was a real Turtle.’
          These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only by an occasional exclamation of `Hjckrrh!’ from the Gryphon, and the constant heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very nearly getting up and saying, ‘Thank you, sir, for your interesting story….”

          *************************************

          May 10, 2018
          |Reply
          • I’m an Alice fan and you had me at Gryphon. <3

            May 10, 2018
  26. MyDog'sPA
    MyDog'sPA

    A song comes to mind:

    Cockee
    (sung to “Happy” by Pharrell Williams, with hat tip to Weird Al)

    [Verse 1:]
    I’m no author but that’s what I wanna be!
    In writing class, barely got a C
    Got no book deal so I did it all my self
    So I’ll make other authors’ lives a living hell!

    [Chorus:]
    (Because I’m Cockee)
    Trademark a common word, make every else to pay
    (The word is ‘cocky’)
    Wordmark someone else’s font but somehow that’s OK
    (Because I’m Cockee)
    Used stock photos for my covers, then loudly complain
    (Because I’m Cockee)
    When others balk at that, they’re the ones who are insane

    [Verse 2:]
    FaceBook Live, did a hundred minute rant
    QED: I’m full of excrement
    You’re just mad of my success and fame
    Even though I know all my books are lame

    [Chorus:]
    (Because I’m Cockee)
    Threaten other authors with a FaceBook C&D
    (Because I’m Cockee)
    To be legal, this must come from an attorney (not me)
    (Because I’m Cockee)
    You can not attack me because I descend from slaves
    (Because I’m Cockee)
    I’m whiter than sour cream, isn’t that just so depraved?

    [bridge]
    Show my shame, won’t everything
    Show my shame, I always try to
    Show my shame, all my words just
    Show my shame, I said
    Show my shame, doesn’t everything
    Show my shame, I sink deeper to
    Show my shame, all my words just
    Show my shame, I said

    [Chorus:]

    (Because I’m Cockee)
    I run away and hide, web comments can be so mean
    (Because I’m Cockee)
    Which is odd, ’cause I go and do the very exact same thing
    (Because I’m Cockee)
    It’s all your fault you’re attacking me, so go ahead & sue
    (Because I’m Cockee)
    Only the lawyers will make money, shows I really don’t have a clue
    (Because I’m Cockee)
    I was so bold US romance writers all were stunned
    (Because I’m Cockee)
    Pushback was so severe I’ll likely be forever shunned
    (Because I’m Cockee)
    Banned your books from Amazon, can’t even give it a review
    (Because I’m Cockee)
    If you don’t think that’s bad, then you’re probably Cockee, too

    May 10, 2018
    |Reply
    • ViolettaD
      ViolettaD

      I particularly like “whiter than sour cream.” In the words of “Ain’t Got No” from “Hair,” she looks “Rinso-white.” Rashida and Kidada Jones have discussed how looking lighter or darker, although they shared the same racial mix, affected how each was treated. Even if Fandango can verify a teeny percentage of milky-tea ecru, I doubt she was ever profiled for driving or followed around a convenience store per that classic scene in “Don’t Be a Menace…”

      May 11, 2018
      |Reply
      • Mydog'sPA
        Mydog'sPA

        ‘Sour cream’ came straight out of Weird Al’s “White & Nerdy” but it seemed to fit here after looking at her video for 10 seconds.

        I’m no Weird Al, so it may take a bit of time to polish to make it flow with the music better, but this is what you get for a quick hour or two.

        If anyone’s interested, this is a spoof of Weird Al’s spoof at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zq7Eki5EZ8o

        May 11, 2018
        |Reply
  27. ViolettaD
    ViolettaD

    As many have suspected…
    **************************
    By Mercy Pilkington –
    https://goodereader.com/blog/indie-author-news/faleena-hopkins-village-idiot-or-smarter-than-us-all

    “Many of the detractors claim that Hopkins just destroyed any hope of a career, but there seems to be something nefarious behind the willful targeting. If yesterday’s sad and awkward video served as proof, basically… no one with the ability to string a bunch of words together semi-coherently is this stupid. It’s time to call it like we see it once and for all: we just got played by someone with an agenda while using online bullying to do it.”

    May 10, 2018
    |Reply
  28. ViolettaD
    ViolettaD

    Furthermore:
    ************************
    https://medium.com/@staceykeith/faleena-hopkins-avowed-goal-was-to-wipe-her-ass-with-other-writers-royalties-2ec82c41799c

    “Faleena Hopkins’ avowed goal was to wipe her ass with other writers’ royalties. Her actual goal is a shitton of publicity for herself. And she has succeeded. THE GUARDIAN just ran a piece on her with a full frontal of all her books. https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/may/08/romantic-novelist-trademarking-of-word-cocky-fameela-hopkins

    “Sure, the romance fiction community wouldn’t spit on her if she were on fire. But the public at large won’t care. They’re going to buy her books out of sheer morbid curiosity. They’ve got no skin in the game. None. And thus do the wicked flourish.”
    ************************

    May 10, 2018
    |Reply
    • Dove
      Dove

      Even then, I doubt she’ll get that many sales. People aren’t buying as many books as they used to unless they’re avid readers, and most people steer clear of books labeled romance unless they like romance novels. Most people are going to find her on Amazon.com where they can get a sample or return it once they realize it’s garbage.

      May 12, 2018
      |Reply
  29. Well…she didn’t get enough cocky so now she’s going after dick. 😉

    May 10, 2018
    |Reply
    • ViolettaD
      ViolettaD

      This is sick and brilliant.

      Beginning to think the theories she just wanted publicity, good or bad, must have a lot of truth to them. It might backfire financially from all the countersuits, possibly including the lawyers she claims are representing her but who have not sent out any notices on firm letterhead per standard procedure.

      If she’s so talented with graphics, you’d think she’d have gone to a poultry farm or state fair, got her own shots of a Orpington or a Black Silkie, and Incorporated it into her logo. She could even have done her own illuminations of a particular letter:

      https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.pinterest.com/amp/briansdotter/chickens/?source=images

      https://goo.gl/images/9jD5Th

      Guess she thought it was quicker to be Omarosa.

      May 10, 2018
      |Reply
  30. Jenny (but not Jenny Trout)
    Jenny (but not Jenny Trout)

    Dear Jenny Trout – the Queen of all that is Awesome – how in the name of fuck did you watch the whole video? What’s her bucket (don’t know, don’t care enough to look it up) sounds completely freaking paranoid. And how is an author that oinarticulate? I don’t expect an author to be perfect when speaking, but JFC, that was rediclous. What was up with the Supernatural tangent? Despite listening to the video while playing a game on my tablet, I couldn’t take all the whining. She shouldn’t start a pissing contest if she isn’t willing to get wet.

    This lady is a piece of work. Why does she think no one else can use stock photos? More importantly, why does she think models can’t be on more than one book cover? Whatever model she used isn’t the character and she doesn’t have the right to stop him from doing other shoots. Her readers are idiots if they can’t figure out what author they are looking for or maybe she should take her own pics if it’s that important.

    I bought The Cockiest Cowboy Who Ever Cocked because that title is great and I bought Cocky Author so I know what I’m doing this weekend. And I’m buying you coffee because after that trainwreck, you deserve it. Keep fighting the good fight.

    May 11, 2018
    |Reply
    • Oh, “C*cky Author” and “C*cky Neighbor” are both hilarious. Several dollars well spent. (I also bought, but haven’t started reading, The Cockiest Cowboy Who Ever Cocked.)

      May 11, 2018
      |Reply
  31. Jenny, I don’t know how you got through the entire video. I’ve tried four, maybe five, times now and can’t get even ten minutes in without needing another beer. Should I keep trying, I fear that my liver will file for divorce.

    May 11, 2018
    |Reply
    • ViolettaD
      ViolettaD

      I’ve been taking it four or five minutes at a time, and I seriously don’t know how Jenny’s did it one sitting without the aid of anything stronger than caffeine. Farteena couldn’t have been more self-indulgent had she planted herself in front of a camera for an hour-and-a-half of picking her nose and eating it. And it might have been more watchable.

      May 11, 2018
      |Reply
      • Given what anybody who could watch the first ~10 minutes endured, I’m with you on the booger eating possibly being more watchable.

        Of course, now I’m imagining long, dramatic pauses while she gazes at the green gold before delicately inserting her booger hooker into her mouth and talking about mint-chocolate-chip ice cream.

        *Shudders*

        May 11, 2018
        |Reply
        • ViolettaD
          ViolettaD

          I’m underemployed and have never bought Jenny a coffee before, but after trying to watch Fasciolosis’ video, which I still can’t bring myself to finish, I’ve bought her two. She has performed a public service.

          May 11, 2018
          |Reply
          • Good call. Jenny took the hit for us, so I just bought her a coffee. Or a shot if she needs something a little stronger after all that. #JustSaying #NotJudging

            May 11, 2018
  32. Bookjunk
    Bookjunk

    I’m so confused about Faleena’s plan, if there was one. She’s now (in)famous. The general public might buy one or a couple of her books merely because her name is out there now, not knowing about the trademark or not realising that she’s fucking over other authors with her bullshit. So, short-term result: her sales are up. Money, money, money! (I presume.)

    And then what?

    She doesn’t seem like such a talented writer that people who just buy a book out of curiosity – because they want to know what all the hullabaloo about her and her work is all about – are going to continue to purchase the novels she churns out after her fifteen minutes of fame are up. Some might stick around, I guess. Yay?

    Meanwhile, a lot of romance writer and readers hate her guts and are never ever going to consider buying one of her books or supporting her in any way whatsoever. She’s gonna get flak for years and years. People who are passionate about the romance genre are not gonna forget about her and her stupid scam.

    I just don’t see her reaping benefits from this move in the long term. Quite the opposite, really. Or am I missing something?

    May 11, 2018
    |Reply
    • Jane Eyre
      Jane Eyre

      Nah, you’re correct. She’s probably gonna have a tiny curiosity boom but seeing how people who have checked her books out say, her writing isn’t really good and she hasn’t pulled of E.L James and her cultural phenomena of Erotica!HumanAU! Twilight, that would give her a real movie deal so this is probably gonna be over soon and in a year or so everyone is gonna be ‘Feleena who?’ again.

      May 11, 2018
      |Reply
  33. merry
    merry

    Imagine Charlaine Harris got copyrights for the word ”dead”:-D How ridiculous!

    May 11, 2018
    |Reply
  34. Shayne
    Shayne

    So… guessing she has some sort of mental illness. I watched the video and the melodrama of it all, the long sighs, the silences… Christ! It was like watching a wreck and not being able look away. She must be losing sleep and going crazy by now… you know, shopping for groceries in sweats and hoodie.

    May 11, 2018
    |Reply
    • Person
      Person

      Agree that the melodrama sounds unbearable (I don’t dare watch something that cringe-inducing) but this kind of comment about mental illness is not of the good. We really don’t need to perpetuate the idea that having a mental illness makes a person like this.

      May 11, 2018
      |Reply
  35. River
    River

    I found it on YouTube again, because someone always saves this stuff, and it is mind blowingly painful. Except if you watch it at 2x speed it is kinda less so. But still painful. How can you trademark a word? Unbelievable and idiotic…

    May 11, 2018
    |Reply
  36. ViolettaD
    ViolettaD

    In further news, Molly Malone’s ghost has been told that it may no longer wheel her barrow through streets broad and narrow, crying “Cockles and Mussels.”

    May 12, 2018
    |Reply
    • Zev
      Zev

      I’ve always liked the song and I hope she leaves it alone.

      May 13, 2018
      |Reply
  37. HollyRee
    HollyRee

    Do you think she’d sue me if I wrote a steamy fanfic about a cocky bounty named Trade Marker chasing down a desperate woman on the run named Jenny Ric-Title? I’m thinking of calling it CEASE TO RESIST.

    May 12, 2018
    |Reply
    • Zev
      Zev

      I think she’d whine about it in a video. It sounds like a wonderful story already.

      May 13, 2018
      |Reply
  38. ViolettaD
    ViolettaD

    It made me cry when I was six.

    May 13, 2018
    |Reply
    • ViolettaD
      ViolettaD

      Sorry this was to Zev’s comment about “Molly Malone” song above.

      May 13, 2018
      |Reply
  39. Mel B and C
    Mel B and C

    May 13, 2018
    |Reply
    • ViolettaD
      ViolettaD

      Crow: Ohhh, ohhh. You know, aside from the fact that I’ll never experience joy in my life I don’t think Faleena Hopkins had any kind of negative effect on me.

      May 13, 2018
      |Reply
    • ViolettaD
      ViolettaD

      PS I love you, Mels B & C.

      May 13, 2018
      |Reply
      • Mel B and C
        Mel B and C

        😉

        May 13, 2018
        |Reply
        • ViolettaD
          ViolettaD

          Joel: “You haven’t won, Ms. Hopkins; you’ve lost. And I feel sorry for you. You’re nothing but a sad little hack in a hole in the ground who can only feel power by hurting others.”

          May 13, 2018
          |Reply
          • I really didn’t even sit through the entire video. Every spot I went too had some crazy, inane, horrible thing, so I jump around a lot.

            I bought Jenny a ko-fi because she deserved at least that for making it all the way through and sharing with the rest of us. My god!

            May 13, 2018
          • ViolettaD
            ViolettaD

            I still haven’t finished it. I’ve been watching in 5-minute stretches. I’m not sure I could get through this one without a break even with a janitor and some ‘bots on the Satellite of Love.

            May 13, 2018

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