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Ten Things I Like About Myself

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I had a weird, humiliating day yesterday, everyone. My mental health, which was really up and positive on Monday, took a dive. And you know, that happens; I’m really bad at lulling myself into a false sense of security on stuff. So, I’m trying to drag myself up and out of the quagmire by focusing on things I like about myself. Here are some I came up with.

  1. What you see is what you get. There isn’t really a public/private persona to me. Sure, there are insecurities and hardships and inner problems that I don’t wear on my sleeve, but that’s true of everyone. What I mean is, when you meet me in person, you’re meeting the person you got to know here. A person who might not recognize your face from your social media photos but who will be thrilled once they realize who you are.
  2. I’m silly. I can usually find something to be silly about in any situation. Maybe that’s not the best quality for a person to have (especially since it sometimes leads to giggling under inappropriate circumstances). But I like that I’m able to laugh about stuff, usually.
  3. I can usually figure out how to do stuff. You know that phrase, “Jack of all trades, master of none,” that people throw around? It has made me feel bad for years. Why? Because I love to learn to do things–playing guitar, making soap, hand-lettering signs, light demonology, you know, normal stuff–but I rarely devote myself to mastering things with any skill. I usually just want to know how things work. Once I figure that out, I move on. Imagine how pleased I was to learn that “Jack of all trades, master of none,” is not the complete saying. It’s actually, “Jack of all trades, master of none, but oftentimes better than master of one.”
  4. I say “Bless you,” when people sneeze. Even if it was a person on television. Even if it was a scripted moment on television. I am compelled.
  5. Dogs like me. I think that’s possibly the greatest indicator that a person is good. When I doubt myself, I remember that dogs like me, which is way more important than people liking me.
  6. I genuinely enjoy spicy food, but I’m not a dick about it. It’s weird when people like spicy food but they make it into a competition with other people. I like spicy food, the spicier the better (as long as the food actually has flavor and doesn’t just taste like capsaicin and nothing else because that tastes like cigarette butts) but I don’t run around calling people pussies for not consuming something they find unpleasant.
  7. I tried avocado once. It was out of my comfort zone, but I did it. I didn’t like it but I got the courage.
  8. I’m a good singer. Am I the best singer ever? Obviously not, or I wouldn’t be a blogger. I’d have millions of dollars and live in a house on the side of a cliff overlooking the sea somewhere. But I actually am pretty good! Good enough to secure some community theater roles, anyway, and that’s good enough for me.
  9. I’m honest with my kids about my mental and physical health. I’m always open with them about my messed up brain chemistry. It affects their lives, too, and it’s important for me that they know that they’re loved even if mom snaps at them during a particularly anxious day or she can’t get out of bed or needs extra help.
  10. I’m a loyal friend. I wouldn’t say I’m a “good” friend. I’m bad at keeping in touch. I’m terrible at visiting. I probably won’t wish you a happy birthday without you reminding me or I’ll do it on the wrong date. But you know what? I’ll go to bat for you every single time.

These are things I like about myself. Give me ten things you like about yourself in the comments. No self-deprecating stuff, no, “I only suck a little of the time.” No, “There aren’t ten things about me to like.” Even if you have to pick one like, “I can walk on stilts,” I’ll take it.

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98 Comments

  1. many bells down
    many bells down

    1. My hair is amazing. It took me nearly 30 years to come to terms with my curly hair and now I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    2. I am super enthusiastic about karaoke. I’m not GOOD at it, and I do not care even a little.

    3. As per #2, I am not in the least afraid of looking ridiculous in public. I’m really hard to embarrass.

    4. I’m really good at learning new software. I’ve self-taught myself almost all the ones I use.

    5. I read really fast. I can plow through a novel in a few hours and I have a good memory for things I read.

    6. My laugh is super loud.

    7. I am very good at very bad puns.

    8. Toddlers love me. 9/10 of them, anyway.

    9. I have great tits.

    10. I am an excellent public speaker and I don’t fear it at all. I actually find it fun.

    ooooh Jenny I really needed this today. It’s been a terrible week for me, too. <3

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
  2. NewFan
    NewFan

    I *heart* you for the loyal/good friend Birthday comment.
    Will I post HBD on your FB page – prolly not. But throw a party (even if its just dinner for 2 or a few), invite me, and I’ll show up with something I have thought about as something I think you will enjoy. And want to hear about everything you have been up to.

    And if you don’t get an invite you my B-Day… its only because I didn’t really do a thing. NOT that I didn’t invite you.

    Other stuff in there too – but yeah – that’s lots of us out there. Simply not up to constructing multiple personalities. I’m just into this single complex one.

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
  3. Larissa
    Larissa

    1) I can make my eyes wiggle back and forth really quickly.

    2) I’m like frikkin Snow White with the animals.

    3) I actually do learn from my mistakes.

    4) I can deal with difficult personalities for extended periods of time.

    5) I’m not afraid of spiders.

    6) I am a fantastic cook.

    7) I have a high tolerance for pain.

    8) I’m not squimish.

    9) I am a loyal friend.

    10) I dance surprisingly well for someone my height/size/age.

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
  4. Vallie M.
    Vallie M.

    1. I’m a decent writer. I don’t know that I’ll ever manage to finish a whole novel and publish it, but I know people enjoy my writing when I let them read it.

    2. I’m a very caring EMT. I genuinely bond with 95% of the patients I transport in my ambulance, even if I’m just driving. I love meeting people and learning their stories, and I love remembering things about them if I’ve picked them up more than once.

    3. I’m a good rat mom. My 5 girls are STUPID spoiled in a 4-tier palace with $300 worth of toys and hideouts because I have absolutely no self-control when it comes to my babies.

    4. I can do an okay winged eyeliner.

    5. I LOVE surprising my friends with care packages or kind deeds when I’m having a bad day. Operation: Brighten ______’s Day is the #1 thing to make me feel better when I’m super depressed.

    6. I have some very cool tattoos. My fave 3: a cosmic skull, a floral armband, and a dragon.

    7. I’m independent. I feel like I’m drowning a lot of the time, but I moved out of my parents’ house on graduation day of college and I’ve been living 2 states away for over a year now. I’m managing, and I didn’t think I could.

    8. I can perform like 85% of Hamilton without screwing up melody or verse.

    9. I’m the go-to sex guru for all of my friends when it comes to anything BDSM-related. I have no idea where I obtained most of the knowledge I have, but I’m positive Jenny is at least partially to blame.

    10. I bake really well. I haven’t baked anything in several years, but I know that I’m good at it.

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
    • many bells down
      many bells down

      #8: I can rap “Guns and Ships” at full speed. Maybe I’m not hitting the notes, but I can do it!

      July 25, 2019
      |Reply
    • Xebi
      Xebi

      You sound like a super lovely person!

      July 26, 2019
      |Reply
  5. denise
    denise

    Oh geez, this is hard.

    1. I am not afraid to do things alone. Dining alone, going to the movies alone, theater, etc. I don’t need someone else there to make me feel comfortable

    2. I have a desire to learn things. Similar to Jenny’s jack-of-all-trades one, I really like to know a little bit about how things are done.

    3. I read a lot. I make time for reading books every day.

    4. I’m pretty good at technical writing.

    5. I can keep my house pretty tidy.

    6. I’m a good cat mom.

    7. I have a good relationship with my parents and siblings

    8. I’m a good swimmer

    9. I make really good pies

    10. I like my feet

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
    • Jules
      Jules

      “1. I am not afraid to do things alone. Dining alone, going to the movies alone, theater, etc. I don’t need someone else there to make me feel comfortable”

      I really envy that one. I am building up to going on a one woman vaca to Disney. I am desperate to get back to Disney and no one I know can really get the time off/money to do it, or want to. Sometimes I get all “You can do this!” and other times I’m like “I’d never leave the hotel room”.

      One day, I will.

      July 25, 2019
      |Reply
      • many bells down
        many bells down

        Oh my gosh going alone will be amazing. No one else to negotiate with on what you’re doing or what your schedule will be. No one complaining because they don’t want to ride Star Tours 5 times in a row (those people are WRONG). And, sometimes they have “single rider” lines for attractions with really long waits so you’ll get to skip some of the line.

        July 25, 2019
        |Reply
        • Jules
          Jules

          ” No one complaining because they don’t want to ride Star Tours 5 times in a row (those people are WRONG).”

          So wrong!

          I am a Disney nut so yeah, it would be nice to be able to ride Test Track 10 times in a row because I can get on the “single rider” line. And eat when I want, and stay until they basically kick me out! I love the park at night!

          Thanks all, you are inspiring me to take the leap!

          July 26, 2019
          |Reply
      • The glorious thing is that you are allowed stay in the hotel room when you want to! You don’t have to, but it is there

        July 25, 2019
        |Reply
      • denise
        denise

        Yes, do it! Many bells down is right, the most glorious thing about doing things alone is that you don’t have to consider anyone else’s input. You don’t have to do the boring things they want to do, and you don’t have to worry about whether you are imposing by asking them to do the boring things YOU want to do. You can go at a breakneck pace, or stop every 3 minutes to take a 10 minute break, whatever works for you. It’s the ultimate indulgence.

        July 26, 2019
        |Reply
    • Being able to do things alone is such an undervalued minor superpower. I got very, very good at it after a very bad break up in my early 20s and I tend to forget that it is an actually useful skill and feel lonely about it.

      Also, you are clearly a technical writer because your list is so beautifully specific.

      July 25, 2019
      |Reply
  6. Nahhah
    Nahhah

    1. I can laugh at myself – I quite enjoy when people make fun of me, as long as it isn’t actually mean obviously!

    2. I’m really good at keeping other people’s secrets

    3. I like animals and they like me and I never kill anything (except mosquitos that are in my room at night)

    4. I don’t like spiders all that much but I’ll be the one to put them out because my partner is afraid of them

    5. I have awesome curly hair

    6. Even with a toddler who hasn’t let me sleep much for 2 years I still look younger than I am – just!

    7. I cry at everything, the news, sad films, happy films, a sad story about a person I don’t know

    8. I’m good at considering others’ feelings

    9. I’ve made huge sacrifices being the best mother I can and putting my daughter first

    10. I’m really easygoing

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
  7. 1) I once went to one of the only parties to which I was ever invited in high school dressed as the Christophe Lambert character from the early Luc Besson film subway. I was quite surprised that this was not de rigeur. (I actually had a great time, too).

    2) I work best when I am allowed be as passionate about things I like as I actually am. And when I work on things I like.

    3) I was obsessed with knights as a six year old and am very pleased that much of medieval literature exists because grown ups with money wanted to be told stories about knights.

    4) I tend to be more intense when I’m relaxed. Which is weird, but I do like about myself.

    5) I enjoy making people I like laugh more than anything else in the world.

    6)I am really, really hyperbolic, but quite pedantically so. (I will actually talk for hours about how it is very difficult to make second rate art, given how good first rate art has to be).

    7) I don’t actually care as much about whether art is objectively good as about whether I like it.

    8) I am, in the words of my best friend, “the most excited person to ever receive an unexpected jigsaw”. (It was apparently both sweet and extremely funny to watch)

    9) I am a pretty strong swimmer and getting better with weights

    10) at my best, I can be acerbic and nice at the same time. I’d like to get better at that.

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
  8. Maggie
    Maggie

    Ok, I’ll try. God knows that I need some boost in self-esteem.
    1. I’m super chilled. Seriously, I’m the calmest person I know. I sometimes get irrationally angry about stupid things, like TV shows, but in serious situations I always keep my cool.
    2. I’m always optimistic, looking for silver lining at all times, etc. I mean, I panick sometimes but hey, aren’t we all? In times of crisis or around others I’m basically a ray of sunshine and happiness!
    3. I’m smart. I used to care too much about others’ opinion, if I’m not saying sth stupid but fuck them! I know my worth and I know that I don’t need to prove anything to anybody.
    4. I’m easy-going and patient. Also, a good listener. If I had better people skills, I would make a good psychologist or diplomat.
    5. I have good sarcastic sense of humour.
    oof, five more. umm…
    6. I write well and with more self-discipline I will be able to write professionally! (modal here to enforce that conviction)
    7. When I put my mind to something, I can make great stuff.
    hmm…
    8. Last year I completely redecorated my bedroom and it look very neat now. I like my room esthetically for the first time in my life.
    9. I’m improving. There are a lot of things I don’t like about myself but when I think of me from 5 years ago, then I think I’m so much better now. Who knows where I’ll be in the next 5 years?
    10. I’m an incredibly fast reder.

    Wow, I feel great now! Thanks, Jenny 🙂

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
  9. Grace
    Grace

    1. I love the Earth. I try to help her out. I don’t get it perfect, but no one does.

    2. I can make a nice carbonara. Most of the time it doesn’t scramble.

    3.’I like being blonde even (especially) if EL James doesn’t like me.

    4. I also love learning new skills. I want to be one of those people who seems to have done everything once.

    5. I am on the autism spectrum and I don’t care what anyone thinks of my special interests unless they like them too.

    6. I am good at keeping my temper even though I didn’t used to be.

    7. I have never murdered a real person, just fictional people.

    8. I lived in a foreign country and found non-English-speaking friends without the Internet.

    9. I haven’t left my keys at work since before Christmas.

    10. I speak French, partly thanks to part 8.

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
    • Bookjunk
      Bookjunk

      8. ha! Me too.

      July 26, 2019
      |Reply
      • Bookjunk
        Bookjunk

        Okay, no, I mean 7. Apparently, I’m not so smart after all. 🙂

        July 26, 2019
        |Reply
  10. Kelsea
    Kelsea

    1) I do my best to make others feel cared for and try to be kind.

    2) I’ll try nearly anything once.

    3) I know my own limits and when to ask for help.

    4) I stick to my convictions and am good at defending them.

    5) I am actively trying to find my purpose and making slow but steady progress.

    6) I enjoy how absorbed I get into music, and can spend hours tweaking imaginary music videos and stories in my head.

    7) I like to make people laugh and succeed at it most of the time.

    8) I bounce when I walk. Especially if I have headphones in.

    9) I am good at taking a step back and learning from failure.

    10) I still try to engage with people even when it takes me out of my introverted comfort zone, but I also speak up when I’m overwhelmed.

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
  11. Kylie Glessing
    Kylie Glessing

    1. I’m a pretty good artist. There are lots better than me who I really admire and can learn from, but I’m pretty good. And that’s kinda cool.
    2. I’m vegan. I became vegan in my late 20s, which I am sad about because I feel like I always was but just didn’t know it was a thing with a name, and my parents forced me to eat animals and I couldn’t articulate why that was a bad thing.
    3. I’m a pretty good writer and editor. No, I’m not a published author of fiction–I admire you folks tremendously and you are so inspiring and maybe someday I’ll get there–but I write and edit as a profession and I’m good at what I do, and that feels pretty great.
    4. I adopt animals. I live with four dogs, two cats, and nine chickens. I’ve volunteered with animal rescues and I’ve fostered and adopted. It’s good for the animals and for my heart.
    5. I like books. I mean, I have the Kindle app on my phone and use it to read, but I just really, really love, and prefer, books. I like that I’m old school and not mesmerized by newfangled technologies.
    6. I am not organized. The world keeps telling me my life would be better and I’d be more successful if I were more organized, but it seems like a lot of effort and just not worth my time so screw that. I am perfectly content being unorganized.
    7. I am pretty fair-minded and able to see things from all sides. I’m pretty quick to point out injustice when I see it, and I am not afraid to do so.
    8. I like the simple things. I don’t need wealth and material things–I measure success by personal happiness and fulfillment. And it takes very little to make me happy–peace and quiet, connection with nature, growing things in my garden, bird/wildlife watching, cuddling with my dogs and cats. I am okay with not seeing the world or living in a big house or driving a fancy car….I am happy with what I have, and I like that about myself.
    9. I am honest. I won’t lie, even if lying would make me look better. If I mess up, I own it. If I am being petty or mean, I admit it. I am fairly self-aware.
    10. I can shake the walls of our house with my burps.

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
    • Xebi
      Xebi

      I envy you for number 10. I’ve always wanted to be able to do those deep, rich, bassy burps that seem to reverberate around the room. Especially as I spend a lot of time with men who drink a lot of beer.

      July 26, 2019
      |Reply
  12. Quinn
    Quinn

    1. I’m a good Mom. I screw up (a lot) but my kids are turning out to be pretty good people that I enjoy being around (even though they screw up a lot too)

    2. I remember … everything? Basically, I can recall in great detail a lot of my life and especially things that I have read. My friends may NOT love this about me, but I do.

    3. I’m a fast reader. I consume an insane number of words most days.

    4. I have a really rich interior life. Like, I debate myself and tell myself stories and just generally like living in my head sometimes. People outside my head do not always find this as charming, but I don’t care.

    5. I’m a really good listener. Seriously. Just please don’t talk to me while I’m reading something because the words get twisted and mangled in my head and then I can’t remember anything from what you said or what I read.

    6. I genuinely like to serve people. Somebody upthread mentioned doing gift boxes for friends and that sounds amazing and I am totally going to try that!

    7. I am learning to like being around groups. I’m a natural introvert and the most people at once I can generally handle is about 4-6. It took me years to get there! But a couple of weeks ago I managed to stay for 2+ hours at a party where I knew one person for over 2 hours and I didn’t cling to that one person the whole time. I was really proud of myself.

    8. I make my bed every day. Some days that’s a really big accomplishment.

    9. I’m a great planner. If you need a plan, I am your person! Now, acting on that plan? I’m a little sketchy there, but you will have a foolproof plan.

    10. I am super supportive. Tell me your dreams and I will ceaselessly cheer you on. Forever.

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
  13. Elsa
    Elsa

    1. I conduct almost my entire life as an immigrant in my second language with almost no problems.

    2. After setbacks, I always analyze what happened and keep evolving.

    3. I’m able to grasp and remember concepts quickly and well.

    4. People seem to feel comfortable around me.

    5. I’m good at cooking without a recipe.

    6. My face looks younger than my age.

    7. I have decent leadership skills.

    8. I’m always prepared.

    9. Recently I’ve gotten really good at taking care of myself.

    10. I have good intuition sometimes.

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
  14. Laura
    Laura

    Jenny, you are amazing! And I thought that even though I didn’t know most of the things on your list. 🙂 Also, I love everyone’s lists.

    1) I am afraid of public speaking like everyone else but I still do it anyway, and pretty well.

    2) I’m really good at learning a modest amount of foreign languages. Never committed enough to become super fluent, but enough to read signs and menus in lots of places!

    3) I can experiment in the kitchen and almost always come up with something edible. I can make just about any kind of bread product (pita, English muffins, naan, bagels, croissants, etc.).

    4) I’m a great speller.

    5) I’ve learned to enthusiastically try to do things even if I suck at them.

    6) I’m amazing at giving birth. Can’t really take credit for it because it’s mostly genetics, but I managed to push four humans out of my body at home with no drugs, and that’s got to count for something!

    7) I can play any woodwind instrument well enough to do Christmas carols (easy ones!). Yes, including the bassoon.

    8) Someone else said they were a really fast reader and I was like, oh! yes! That’s me.

    9) People love to tell me about their problems. Which I guess (hope?) makes me a good listener?

    10) I love playing board games even if I don’t win (that doesn’t ruin it at all for me).

    This was a great idea. I am embarrassed at how hard it was to come up with the ten things but I think it’s something we should all do every once in a while. So thanks for getting me to do it.

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
    • Now now, none of that. You’re number 5 needs to end with “things”. 🙂

      July 25, 2019
      |Reply
      • Regret
        Regret

        *your
        (Sorry)

        August 1, 2019
        |Reply
  15. 1. Cats dig me. I’m allergic but I will still faun and pet over them and they know this.

    2. I can sing along perfectly with Susan Sarandon’s songs in Rocky Horror.

    3. I started to actually send out short stories late last year and am actually gathering acceptances!

    4. I finally started a website!

    5. Everyone thinks I’m young but I’m not.

    6. I listen to almost all kinds of music. I have both Abba and Rob Zombie and The Andrew Sisters on my iPod.

    7. I once ate pizza in Rome. That may be the highpoint of my life but when I think about it, it makes me happy.

    8. I’ve had several celebrity encounters on Twitter and Eric Idle retweeted me once – nerd street cred.

    9. No matter how bad I think I write, I didn’t write Handbook for Mortals.

    10. I am tenacious with book controversies and refuse to let them go.

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
    • Chris
      Chris

      #9 hahahahaha love it

      July 27, 2019
      |Reply
  16. Linda
    Linda

    Alright, here goes

    1) I have almost photographic memory. That can be pretty annoying but most of the time it’s great.
    2) Every time I see an ambulance I close my eyes and ask the Universe to be kind to the patient inside and to please make sure none of my loved ones will ever need an ambulance.
    3) I have great legs.
    4) I find something to laugh about in almost any situation. I might cry or rant or have an anxiety attack but I usually wind up making fun of problems.
    5) I am a great storyteller.
    6) I look much younger than I am.
    7) English is not my first language but sometimes even native speakers can‘t tell.
    8) I own my mistakes and always apologise when I am in the wrong.
    9) I work hard to become a better person. It’s slow going but at least I try!
    10) I am smart.

    Funny, in what order these things popped into my mind!

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
  17. seaserpent
    seaserpent

    1) I just started counselling even though I’m really afraid of it, which I think means I am brave as fuck

    2) I love people really hard and I will tell them about it

    3) I’m really good at recognising bit part actors. You know when you watch TV and you’re like ‘Oh, it’s that guy, from that thing’? I probably know who it is

    4) I do a really good impression of a peacock

    5) People like the birthday and Christmas cards I make for them

    6) I really love learning and am a massive dork and I recently went to a massive museum and had, just, the best time

    7) I make good scones

    8) My hair is giant and magnificent

    9) I’m a good girlfriend, I will stroke my boyfriend’s hair for like an hour at a time

    10) In the immortal words of Chumbawamba, I get knocked down but I get up again

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
    • Jules
      Jules

      “3) I’m really good at recognising bit part actors. You know when you watch TV and you’re like ‘Oh, it’s that guy, from that thing’? I probably know who it is”

      I need to watch stuff with you. I’m always “I know that guy! He was in that thing, with that woman who was married to that dude, you know…” and no one ever does.

      July 25, 2019
      |Reply
      • seaserpent
        seaserpent

        ‘I’m always “I know that guy! He was in that thing, with that woman who was married to that dude, you know…” and no one ever does.’

        My boyfriend is exactly the same, it’s like trying to solve the Da Vinci Code and I low-key love it

        July 26, 2019
        |Reply
    • many bells down
      many bells down

      #4: So, screaming like you’re being murdered? I mean, I’m not making fun. Although I have a very strong voice my scream is a weak, sad little thing. I wish I had a robust horror-movie scream.

      July 25, 2019
      |Reply
      • seaserpent
        seaserpent

        Exactly like I’m being murdered! If I ever get mugged, I’m just gonna do peacock screeching at them until they abandon my handbag and run.

        July 26, 2019
        |Reply
  18. Jules
    Jules

    First, Jenny, you should add creating a place for all these interesting, unique, hilarious and creative people to come together to your list. My list goes something like this…

    1. No matter how bad things go, I can turn on my favorite song, belt it out at the top of my lungs and find the strength to go on.

    2. I have great genes. I look much younger than I am, have hair that stays soft and silky no matter how much I torture it, and have clear skin. Thank you family.

    3. I have amazing friends. We support each other, we make each other laugh, we keep each other’s secrets.

    4. I finally rid my life of people who brought darkness into it.

    5. I am very imaginative and creative. This is my favorite thing about myself.

    6. I am not afraid to be alone. I don’t need to be in a relationship to feel compete or happy or loved.

    7. When I love, I love strongly. I love with all my heart and soul. I am very passionate.

    8. I love animals, all animals (except ants, they are evil monsters and should be destroyed!) and animals love me. There is no better judge of character than the love and acceptance of an animal.

    9. I once had the balls to move across the country with no job, no place to live and no one there to help me out. It was the bravest thing I ever did and I am still very proud that I did it.

    10. My mind can be changed. I do not need to always be right and if given a good enough argument, can and have changed my mind about things. This took a long time to learn but it has made me a much better and happier person.

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
  19. Juliana Coons
    Juliana Coons

    We have #3 and #10 in common. :-). This is interesting. It ties into some work I’ve been doing this year to combat the lingering effects of childhood psychological trauma. I’m still doing the work. In summary, I’ve never been able to say anything good about myself without feeling tremendously remorseful for misleading others. Good things sound like a lie. I had so much bad stuff drilled into me that I just accepted as fact and did not question, even small good things sound like the worst sort of arrogance. Loving myself is an elusive concept I still do not understand. Through the exercise I’ve been doing, I think I’m out of self-hatred zone into self-tolerance. Some days, almost liking, with backslides thanks to the guilt. I’m still working on it. A list like this still eludes me, however.

    The exercise I’ve been doing is one that others might find helpful too. I got it out of a book, and expanded on its original two steps. My version has three steps. You write all the bad stuff major abusers or figures in your life said about you. That was a long list for me. Then in step two, I responded to the bad stuff. If I felt it was true, I would acknowledge it. Nobody is perfect after all. But mostly, they missed the true faults and called me out on false ones. Then in the response, I would write one true positive trait that related to the negative one. In the third step, I’ve been turning the positives into affirmations. My plan was to say a few every day until they overwrite the bad stuff. As one true thing is I don’t finish things and I am a slacker, the exercise has stalled a bit. But it did help some. 🙂

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
    • Jules
      Jules

      What a great exercise Juliana. I am going to try it. It is so easy, especially when you are a kid (when I think most of the psychological damage is done) to believe the things people say about you. Sometimes you need to look back and realize that they were wrong, or they didn’t truly understand.

      For years I was accused of being lazy. I am not terribly active and give up on things easily. Turns out I have MS which severely limits my energy. So I’m not lazy, I just don’t have the same energy level as others. That’s a severe case, but it is an example of how easy it is to buy into other people’s story about you unless you take the time to understand the real story.

      I love the idea of balancing each negative with a positive. Just because it stalled doesn’t mean it’s over. Clearly you still think about it. You’ll get back to it when the time is right. Maybe you’re just not in the right moment now.

      July 26, 2019
      |Reply
  20. MyDog'sPA
    MyDog'sPA

    Silly! WooHoo! Let’s hear it for silly!!! Yaay!

    But, Jenny, you forgot to add that you’re a great writer, too, with lots of fans.

    So that’s number 11, then.

    🙂

    Oh, and if you like silly, The Mister just gets even sillier from here on because EEL has no clue how to write. Boy, aren’t we glad that you do know how!

    🙂

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
  21. Michael
    Michael

    1. I wrote a novel once. Not a great one–it’s a first draft, after all–but I still wrote an entire novel, that had an actual beginning and an end.

    2. I’ve learnt English as a second language so well that I can–and do–read Shakespeare in the original English (though I do need the footnotes).

    3. I’m smart enough to see through faulty reasoning and irrational thinking.

    4. I’m a funny guy, or so I’m told.

    5. I’m friendly to strangers. For instance, today I offered to move seats so that a couple could sit together. Not saint-level stuff, but it does make the world nicer, doesn’t it?

    6. I read broadly. Some famous classics, some classics that are super obscure outside scholarly circles, some SF, some literary fiction, some whodunnits, some romance, etc.

    7. I’ve read over 4,100 different manga books. Yep, I counted.

    8. I’m there for my friends. Once, I went to a friend’s house in the pouring rain just because she was feeling down and I wanted to give her a carton of ice cream.

    9. When it comes to books, I don’t settle. Whenever I see a book that looks good, I don’t read it until I’ve asked myself “Is this the most interesting thing I could read right now?”

    10. I give an entire month’s salary every year to charity. (I live cheaply, so I can afford it.)

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
    • Jules
      Jules

      “5. I’m friendly to strangers. For instance, today I offered to move seats so that a couple could sit together. Not saint-level stuff, but it does make the world nicer, doesn’t it?”

      I love that you did this. I have done it before on the train and it is such a small gesture, costs you nothing and it makes someone else’s day just a little better. Proof that you don’t have to do something huge to have a positive impact on people.

      July 26, 2019
      |Reply
    • Xebi
      Xebi

      Lots of people on this thread sound like really nice people and you are definitely one of them.

      July 26, 2019
      |Reply
  22. Canadian Natasha
    Canadian Natasha

    1. I have a fantastic eye for discrepancies in visual patterns (which my childhood over 100 4-leaf-clover collection can testify to).
    2. I mostly don’t care about gender expectations (thanks aro-asexuality for no need to perform femininity in the attempt to get a romantic partner)
    3. I am a fun and creative dresser.
    4. I make people laugh, or at least smile, quite regularly. I rule the dad jokes.
    5. I’ve overcome fears to travel solo internationally to somewhere where the local language isn’t mine.
    6. I have grown from being a judgemental rule follower to someone who questions my preconceptions and leaves room for uncertainty.
    7. I have collected A LOT of completely random knowledge
    8. I can wiggle my ears (but sadly cannot raise only one eyebrow at a time)
    9. I have a very expressive face.
    10. I can read an average sized adult novel in less than 3 hours (mebbe less than 2).

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
  23. Amy Too
    Amy Too

    1) I’m a really good gift giver.
    2) My skin is currently looking the best it’s looked since childhood.
    3) I’m a vegetarian.
    4) I care deeply, sometimes maybe too deeply, about animals, people, and social causes. I’m empathetic.
    5) I’m tolerant, politically and socially liberal, and I’m passing those values onto my child.
    6) I have a huge built in bookshelf that covers and entire wall in my study because I love to read and have a lot of books.
    7) I’m a good writer. I understand grammar. I can be extremely persuasive in my writing
    8) Even my 13-year-old son thinks I’m funny. I can be silly, sarcastic, and witty.
    9) I have good taste. I’m good at fashion, art, and interior design.
    10) Lately,, I’ve been jumping into learning about, and even actually practicing, the things that I’m interested in and have always wanted to do but was always outing off. Things like astrology, tarot, meditation, Kabbalah, and painting. I bought a crystal ball and a book about Wicca. I’m okay with being my own teacher and I’m not overly worried that I’m not doing it “right.”

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
  24. 1. I legitimately care about other people. Even when I know I can’t be responsible for everyone I will still fuss after them like a mother hen. It earned me the nickname Momma Warehouse at work.

    2. I am a crazy dog lady. At one time I had five dogs, but even with just two a lot of my life revolves around the critters. And I will go nuts over someone else’s dog if I get the chance to meet. I have too many neighbors where I can’t remember the humans’ names, but I know the dogs by heart.

    3. I’m able to be impartial when I have to interpret a situation or when dealing with others. I may be ripped up inside or hopping mad, but I can logic out what the best solution is for all parties (or which is most equitable).

    4. I can be one tough, sassy woman. I can go to bat on an issue I care about and push things if I see a reason.

    5. I look young for my age. Always fun to use it against people who underestimate young people.

    6. I have finally stopped caring what other people think so much. It means that I’m willing to try new things like my Duolingo Vietnamese with my co-workers without worrying if I sound like a toddler.

    7. I’m a decent bellydancer.

    8. I know three languages reasonably well (can read, write, understand spoken language, and carry on a basic conversation) and know bits of two others.

    7. I have insanely eclectic entertainment tastes. I’ve watched the Royal Shakespeare Society’s production of ‘Hamlet” with David Tennant and Patrick Stewart, binged the reality glass blowing show “Blown Away”, and the Danish horror/thriller series “The Rain” all in one weekend.

    8. I’m a darn good reviewer of various types of pop culture stuff, and my reviews have been used as pull quotes for some indie stuff.

    9. I’m good at making people laugh.

    10. I’m really good at my current job. I can’t say I’m irreplaceable because that’s taunting fate, but no one else currently at my company can do my job as well as I can.

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
  25. Nancy
    Nancy

    1. I’m very good at learning languages, it’s kind of getting out of control with ten now though.

    2. I will go to bat for my friends, even internet friends. Insult my friend?! Oh, I will end you.

    3. I’m usually seen as an ice queen, but put my in the same room as a kitten and I *will* run over while squealing kitty!!!!

    4. I’m very good at sculpting/making things. I made a Sorting Hat prop for a Halloween decorating contest, mostly out of paper, that people though was made from cloth.

    5. I’m a good cook and baker.

    6. I can be funny, but in a quiet one liner kind of way.

    7. I used to suck at running, the first time I tried after my sister convinced me to take it up, I only ran .11 of a mile before I had to walk, now I can run 13.1 without stopping, except to drink water. I can’t drink from an open cup and run without waterboarding myself.

    8. I’m a planner and an organizer. When I have a project, I have it all laid out, step by step, sometimes down to the half hour if it’s time sensitive.

    9. I’m politically active, I canvas for my local elections.

    10. I am a voracious reader.

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
  26. SaintSithney
    SaintSithney

    1) I’m really kind. I’ve worked hard to cultivate kindness in myself, and I think it’s paid off. I am the type to surprise friends with little gifts and I frequently leave loving messages on Messenger when people are asleep.

    2) I’ve helped at least 4 people come to terms with their asexuality and helped them come out.

    3) I’m really funny and I cultivate the dankest of memes.

    4) I have absolutely beautiful lips and hands.

    5) I am a great proofreader.

    6) Animals like me and I like them.

    7) I have done a lot to spread awareness of Agent Orange in my circles – a lot of people don’t know much about it.

    8) I clean up nice. Every time I wear a dress, I get compliments on my sense of style, which is actually pretty awesome for being a plus-size chick.

    9) I’m extremely well-read.

    10) I am a sterling conversationalist and like taking charge.

    I am so glad I read this blog <3

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
  27. amblonyxx
    amblonyxx

    1) I’m super confident, even though I struggle with anxiety. I might be absolutely sick to my stomach at the thought of going into a new place or situation but I’ll push right on in there.

    2) I’m intelligent. I learn super quickly and have never been ashamed of being a smart ass.

    3) I love to read and am not ashamed of what I read. I particularly love YA and children’s novels, I’m currently super into the Warriors series and loving it.

    4) I have an amazing imagination. I can lose myself in my head just imagining all sorts of things, like being a character in the books I read or visions of what the future might hold.

    5) I’m a great cook. My husband is a chef so I always kind of felt pressured to cook better and now I can cook all sorts of delicious things! Sometimes even better than he can.

    6) I’m an animal lover. My house is full of pets and I wouldn’t have it any other way, even if my Mum would.

    7) I’m a nerd. Our house is full of Pokemon pictures and toys and we had a Pokemon themed wedding. It was great.

    8) I’m a great Mum. I might make mistakes (a lot) but my kids are loved and cared for.

    9) I love watching kids movies. I basically watch nothing else, Pixar is my life.

    10) I’m a fixer. I love helping people through any issues they have.

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
  28. Kat
    Kat

    This is a much needed boost of positivity, Jenny. I’m sorry your mental health has been up and down this week (mine has, too), but this idea is genius.

    1. I don’t sugarcoat when I’m teaching. I’m upfront with my students about everything, and if I don’t know something, I tell them, and we decide as a class whether it’s something we need to know now, or we can find out later.

    2. I have very neat handwriting, both print and cursive.

    3. I know all the words to all the Disney Descendants songs released so far.

    4. My eyes are amazingly pretty. Blue-gray with long lashes. My second grade teacher back in the 80s tried to get color contacts to match my eye color.

    5. I am unabashedly nerdy/geeky, and I don’t care if people judge me for it. My students mock me for loving Power Rangers? Children, I’m not mocking your happy thing. Coworkers side-eye my Descendants lunchbox? Shrug, grin, keep using.

    6. I’m left-handed! I do everything left-handed except for using a computer mouse.

    7. I can admit when I make a mistake.

    8. I make wishes on dandelions every time I find one.

    9. I’m a good driver. I have never been at fault for an accident (been rear-ended twice in traffic, but not caused further problems).

    10. There is always a song, or part of a song, running through my head. I can’t help it.

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
    • Jules
      Jules

      “10. There is always a song, or part of a song, running through my head. ”

      Mine too, and I think it is the greatest thing in the world. Except when someone is trying to have a serious conversation with me and they inadvertently say something that is a line from a song and I start singing the song. Usually in my head, but not always.

      July 26, 2019
      |Reply
  29. Maile
    Maile

    Ok, here goes. I had a busy, crappy week also.
    1. I work hard and do my best at work.
    2. I have learned how to pay debts off and put a little in savings.
    3. I travel well. I either have a good time or an adventure.
    4. I can do math, hell I can even do algebra.
    5. I can write some good essays, short stories and fan fiction when I put in the time and effort.
    6. I like to make people belly laugh.
    7. I do not suffer fools gladly. Politically the past few years have been hell on my blood pressure.
    8. I like and love people for who they are and not looks or money or charm.
    9. I love a good puzzle or challenge. Hold my beer will be my epitaph.
    10. I’m logical and realistic and I plan like a mofo.

    July 25, 2019
    |Reply
  30. Perlite
    Perlite

    1. The people I work with generally like me and enjoy having me around.
    2. I always try my best to notice when somebody needs something, but I don’t make a big deal of it.
    3. My haircuts rock once I learned the language to get what I was looking for.
    4. I can remember certain songs perfectly, even down to the intonation and asides, if they have any.
    5. I constantly have a story running through the mind. Even if it never becomes anything, it brings me joy to think about them.
    6. I’m pretty dang funny, in person.
    7. I’m a good knitter, especially for a beginner. After trying to learn again for the first time in about a decade, I was able to knit a scarf within two weeks.
    8. I fish bees from the water if I see them drowning.
    9. I write comments in the tags, especially when it comes to other people’s art. It makes me feel good to encourage people.
    10. I make pretty tasty spaghetti sauce. When my roommates are away, they say they miss it.

    July 26, 2019
    |Reply
  31. Tami
    Tami

    1. I am an empath. This can be good or bad, depending on the situation, and which leads me to…

    2. I am a natural healer and medium. This is a gift that I inherited from my great-grandmother; my aunt and two cousins have it, too. I found out it’s actually something that can be traced back to our Scottish ancestors. While I’ve always been a healer, I decided to get certified in Reiki. This has changed my life considerably. Oh, and I read Tarot (started with playing cards in high school), I do past-life regressions, and have helped others to find their totem animals.

    3. I am a creative person. I write, draw, paint, crochet, sculpt…I’ve done stained glass…thrown pottery on a wheel…photography… I love to express myself and my imagination.

    4. I love to cook and bake for others. I got this from my paternal grandmother, who was a poor hillbilly woman but who always believed in feeding anyone who came to her door.

    5. I love cats. Well, I love all animals but cats are my thing. I am a volunteer at Carol’s Ferals (local rescue and Trap-Neuter-Release non-profit). All of my own cats are rescues.

    6. I am a fangirl. I didn’t know that’s what I was until I started going to conventions at age 16. I’m now 52 and I still collect action figures, my wardrobe is full of fannish T-shirts, I have framed movie posters all over my walls, and a perfect day for me is watching all the extended versions of the Lord of the Rings movies. And yes, HAN SHOT FIRST.

    7. I have C-PTSD from childhood trauma, and suffer from social anxiety and panic attacks. I used to be suicidal. I also have fibromyalgia and all the physical, emotional, and mental problems that come with that. I am now helping others who are the victims of narcissists. I was diagnosed with a precancerous condition and it led me to become a volunteer at my local Gilda’s Club. I’ve also joined a local writers’ group because I am trying to force myself out of my comfort zone, to be around other people, and not be afraid. And it’s working. I’m very proud of myself for making these steps.

    8. I am painfully honest — I won’t bullshit you — and I am a loyal friend. I don’t ghost people; they ghost me. I had been married but it didn’t work out. I have learned that while we think some relationships will last forever, it’s not always true…but we learn from the experiences, and it shapes us into better people.

    9. I will not hesitate to help someone in need. I may not have a lot of money but I will give my last dollar to someone who has nothing.

    10. I love to travel, especially road trips. I meet a lot of interesting characters on my journeys. Sometimes, I will just sit and people-watch. As a writer, it’s inspiring. I believe everyone should get out and see as much of the world as possible, to observe life from every angle. There are so many cultures, so many beliefs, and so much we can learn if we open our hearts and minds.

    July 26, 2019
    |Reply
  32. Julia
    Julia

    1. I’m a nice person. Even if I don’t particularly like people and kinda hate small talk, I’m still always polite.
    2. I’m a good writer. I have my doubts about that and I wish to be better at writing certain things, but overall, I published a book and it has been well received so that stands for itself I believe.
    3. I have a nice sense of style. I’d call it a mix of Victorian milk-maid, kindergarten teacher and evil witch.
    4. I’m genuinely interested in giving people tips on what books to read. So I work at a library,
    5. I know my limits. And I take time off to myself as often as I can.
    6. I’m an intersectional feminist, which is the only way to be, and I constantly want to learn more.
    7. I make a killer bolognese.
    8. I have a good sense. It’s not boring to leave out racists and sexist jokes, on the contrary.
    9. When I used to act, I was a good actress. I’m fine with not getting into that career (and frankly quite relieved), but I’m glad I tried.
    10. Despite not liking people overall, I have very high empathy. Which probably makes me so nice, such a good writer and intersectional. Yay for me!

    July 26, 2019
    |Reply
  33. nelliejean
    nelliejean

    You also write damn good books, Jenny!

    1. I’ve always loved reading. I taught myself before I started school, back in the days when that wasn’t usual, which annoyed my Primary 1 teacher so much that she stormed down to the gates to complain to my mum!

    2. I love learning new things, especially crafty things. I learned to knit and crochet in my 30s, I’ve tried drop-spindling but it hurts my shoulder too much, and I’d love to try weaving but I’ve nowhere to put a loom, even a small one.

    3. I’m an enthusiastic if unskilled player of video games! I bought a Switch a couple of months ago and I’m having so much fun!

    4. I’m pretty good at painting my nails.

    5. I’m getting better at being sociable! I have a standing friend-date in my local comic shop on a Saturday morning now and I love it!

    6. I started going to the gym! And then I stopped again when my mental health took a nosedive, but I will start again soon because I really enjoyed it.

    7. I buy cool books for my nieces and nephews.

    8. I have a collection of cookery books going back to the very early 20th century, so if you need to know how to cook something I can probably find you a recipe. I thought it was a bit silly until a friend said “You know, that’s a really interesting piece of social history!” so that’s what I tell folk now 🙂 Ditto my ca. WWII knitting books.

    9. I love silly humour. I’ve been reduced to incoherent squeaking and tears trying to read Mr Men books aloud.

    10. I talk and sing to myself all the time, and there’s almost always a song playing in my head.

    July 26, 2019
    |Reply
  34. Hellgirllou
    Hellgirllou

    – I have a really good memory, my girlfriend and I are trying to become a huma, fantasy lore encyclopedia.
    – I have super great curly hair, but I had to go live in France to realize it.
    – Babies like me. Kids like me.
    – I always smile to strangers and hold the door for them and try to do some random acts of kindness during the day.
    – My brain never stops making up stories and animatics and producing drawing ideas.
    – I’m a great artist, and I worked hard for it.
    – Despite my anxiety, I’m extremely calm in potentially deadly situations.
    – I never fail a dish, and I love cooking for people.

    That’s what I got! Thanks for that inspiring post, I’ve been needing this!

    July 26, 2019
    |Reply
  35. Anon
    Anon

    I’m glad you were able to pull yourself up a little. 🙂

    I’ll try to come up with 10. I don’t think about these things very often, so it’s tough on the spot!

    1. I know my strengths and weaknesses and never feel bad about the fact I can’t do everything well.
    2. I’m an excellent judge of character.
    3. I’m a good friend.
    4. I’m a compassionate and empathetic person. Sometimes to my detriment.
    5. I’m not easily offended and don’t hold grudges.
    6. I’m a kick-ass decorator.
    7. I once pushed my comfort zone pretty far and attended a Spencer Tunick installation event. With people I knew — people I worked with!
    8. I’m unpretentious.
    9. I’m a critical thinker able to change my mind as new facts emerge about a subject.
    10. I have a good sense of humor (even if it’s dry and people often think I’m dour when they don’t know me well. Actually, I kind of like that because then they’re surprised when they realize I’m not.).

    July 26, 2019
    |Reply
  36. Bookjunk
    Bookjunk

    1. My hair is quite short at the moment. I know the people around me are not enthusiastic about the new haircut, but I think it’s beautiful and I love it.
    2. I’m smart, but I don’t shove my incredibly intelligence down people’s throats – usually, ha.
    3. I’m funny. In person and in writing.
    4. I’m pretty strong, physically, even though I really don’t look like I am.
    5. If I don’t care how you are then I cannot get the phrase ‘How are you?” convincingly out of my mouth. But when I do care, I really really care.
    6. I remember stuff like people’s birthdays and wedding days and what they like to read and eat etc., and send a lot of just-because cards.
    7. My ability to laugh at myself.
    8. How much I love my dog. I cannot stay mad at him, even when he’s annoying like hell.
    9. The fact that I enjoy new information.
    10. How good I am at saying ‘no’ – without saying sorry, adding all sorts of unnecessary explanation or feeling guilty.
    ‘No.’
    ‘What do you mean, no?’
    ‘As in: no.’
    (I’m so good at it that this’ll probably come up at my funeral)

    Oh, this is fun! I feel pretty good about myself right now. Here’s to hoping you’re feeling better too, Jenny!

    July 26, 2019
    |Reply
  37. Bookjunk
    Bookjunk

    Now that I’ve read other people’s lists and thought ‘I do that too and I like it!’ about a gazillion times, I think I could legit easily write a 50 things I like about myself list. Thank you so much, Jenny and everyone!

    July 26, 2019
    |Reply
  38. Mel
    Mel

    “Jack of all trades, master of none, but oftentimes better than master of one.”

    I honestly really needed to hear the finished saying because I never knew this and this makes me feel so much better. I tend to like to dabble too but then I get discouraged because the minute you try something, people expect you to pursue it and become an expert and like, nah, I just wanted to have fun. I don’t need to be the best at it.

    July 26, 2019
    |Reply
  39. Masha
    Masha

    1. Animals love me. Dogs and cats go out of their way to approach me, and the love my cat shows me is something I still can’t wrap my head around, even after fifteen years.

    2. I have nice handwriting, without having ever trained.

    3. I’m hyper-observant. I “control” everything within my sight/hearing, without even realising it. This means I see when someone drops their shawl or struggles with a door and can help.

    4. On that note, I am genuinely helpful towards strangers, and I do it on instinct, without thinking about it.

    5. I have very good taste in clothes and interior design (though I’m a firm believer in “you do you” when it comes to others).

    6. I feel about 24 years old. I am actually 38. I used to think that’s bad, but now I’m like, eh, kinda cool.

    7. I cry and scream and laugh at books and movies. I’m not bad at approaching them critically, but I also love letting go emotionally and immersing myself in a different world, and I’m able to do it.

    8. I get angry. I used to be more “symmetrist” about a lot of stuff, oh that’s just my opinion and everyone can have theirs, how convenient. Fuck no. I learned to get angry and, yes, to hate – Nazis and people who hurt animals mostly, but you get the idea.

    9. I buy really great gifts! I’m very good at finding awesome gifts for family and friends, things that they love, mentioned once a long time ago or didn’t even know they wanted.

    10. Most important one: I work on myself. I don’t believe in “that’s how I am” – I am who I fucking want to be, and I’m responsible for it. It does have the downside of being a good tool for bringing myself down (I’m nowhere near who I want to be), but I’m proud of the fact that I constantly work to be a better person.

    July 26, 2019
    |Reply
  40. Erin
    Erin

    I love this post! We all need to do a little self-positivity, especially after a Bad Brain Day.

    1. I’m funny.
    2. I’m a hell of a baker.
    3. I have cool eyes (green/brown central heterochromia).
    4. I can be diplomatic, but I will not lie to you.
    5. I’m great at making playlists.
    6. Cats love me.
    7. I look good with very short hair.
    8. I’m a good listener.
    9. I can admit when I’m wrong and learn from my mistakes.
    10. I’m extremely punctual.

    July 26, 2019
    |Reply
    • Jules
      Jules

      “5. I’m great at making playlists.”

      I have never been more jealous of someone in my life. I have spent the past two and a half years trying to put my 15500+ music library into some kind of functional system of playlists. To say it has been an epic fail may be the least hyperbolic thing I have ever said.

      July 26, 2019
      |Reply
  41. Michael
    Michael

    I’ve been told that I have an analytical mind. Not saying I’m smart, I’m not. Just that I have an analytical mind. It took me a while to figure out that that’s a good thing.

    July 26, 2019
    |Reply
  42. Liiiiiiinaaaaa
    Liiiiiiinaaaaa

    I can’t tell you how much I needed this right now. Thank you.

    Okay, so

    1. I have cool hair.
    2. I keep my word.
    3. I drink a lot of coffee.
    4. I am a good cook (when I actually do cook)
    5. I have pretty eyes.
    6. I always look for the best in other people and try to give them the benefit of the doubt.
    6. I try to look for the good in a situation.
    7. I like to make people laugh and feel comfortable, welcome, and accepted.
    8. I can make up songs about anything at any time for any reason. (These songs are usually not amazing but are sometimes fun.)
    9. I am good at teaching.
    10. I take chances.

    July 26, 2019
    |Reply
  43. Jessica V
    Jessica V

    1. I love my body. I know, not exactly something one can control, but I love that I can run 3 miles without stopping, I love that I can do real push ups and I love that I turn my husband on. I have an amazing figure, and I work really hard to keep it. And I love the way I dress and my sense of style.
    2. I love my sense of humor. I’m all about the dad jokes and puns. If it’s funny, I laugh and I laugh a lot.
    3. I am an AMAZING knitter. I’ve been knitting for 10 years this year and I would definitely call myself a master, sweaters, lace, socks. I do it all and I love it.
    4. I am a really good spinner. I’ve been spinning for about 4 years and it has been one of my very favorite skills to learn and get good at. I wouldn’t call myself a master though, once I got three-ply fingering, I sort of stopped trying new things. This is the kind of yarn I want to knit with, so it’s the kind of yarn I spin.
    5. I’m a motivated person, I do the thing. A friend of mine once admired my ability to pick up something that has a mistake in it and immediately fix it rather than let it languish. And I like that about myself too.
    6. I’m compassionate and empathetic. I help old ladies cross the ice patches, I look at situations and be a helper as much as possible. Rule number 1 is Always Think About Other People. It’s how I’m raising my kid and I think it is incredibly important.
    7. I’m brave. Not in the crazy hurt yourself kind of way, but I’ve risked a lot over the years and there’s been a lot of good payoff. I moved in with my future husband when he moved 6 hours away and I moved with him cross-country to a state where we didn’t have close family. I became an atheist despite being raised in one of those quiverfull, jesus camp, type houses. no regrets.
    8. I am awkward as fuck, I say the things that you’re not supposed to say, not to be mean or anything. I guess it’s not the nicest attribute to have, but it is refreshing. It makes people laugh, at the very least.
    9. I have some of the best, well-behaved children I know. And I know I’m biased, but I raised them and I’m proud of who they are turning into.
    10. I’m supportive as fuck. If someone likes a thing that I love, I don’t gatekeep: the more the merrier! You learned to do a new knitting thing, you’ll get all the support and validation from me. You change your mind and actually like the thing that you used to be indifferent about but I love, I won’t sway you or mock you. Let’s do it together!

    Thanks for this exercise, Jenny. It is nice to read things people love about themselves, and it’s nice to remind our own selves that we are valuable and good and really really cool.

    July 26, 2019
    |Reply
  44. 1. I have several degrees, and I’m the first among my siblings to get a graduate degree.

    2. I love my job.

    3. I had the good sense to marry a feminist.

    4. I can laugh and not take myself too seriously.

    5. I throw myself into trying new things, even if I have no idea what I’m doing.

    6. I’ve done a pretty good job of decluttering my apartment this year.

    7. I care about people, even when it’s painful.

    8. I can make up stories in my head.

    9. I’ve accomplished some big life goals I set for myself.

    10. I’ve done things in my life that took courage, like moving across the country and risking my safety for the sake of others.

    July 26, 2019
    |Reply
  45. JillBee
    JillBee

    Here are my ten things:

    1. I’m intelligent. I’ve always done well with learning new things, and like pretty much any subject. I was that straight A student that never got into trouble. Yawn.

    2. I’m crafty. I love to make a wide variety of things. I drool in the craft section of any store, and have been banned from buying anything at Michael’s for life (or so my husband would have you believe).

    3. I’m a good mother. I’m not perfect, I lose my cool, and I let my kids eat ice cream for lunch today. But it’s summer vacation, so anything goes. My children are usually happy, well-adjusted, mostly clean, polite, and help others.

    4. I’m an enthusiastic educator. I love to teach, I get to know my students and their families, and I work really hard to help my students develop a love of learning. I may not be the best at keeping up with grading/marking, but I make up for it with all the front-end prep work.

    5. I’m silly. Its important to be able to look at the funny side of even the most dark situation. I can be found doing silly things at home, at work, and in public.

    6. I’m direct. I’m not fake, and I don’t play office politics games. I’m not a suck-up, and will generally tell it as it is. However, I’m slowly learning that there’s always room for a compliment or kindness rather than acting cruelly, even if it feels so good to be blunt.

    7. I’m a LGBTQ2S+ ally and advocate. Love who you love, be your true self, and mind your own vagina/penis.

    8. I’m a Whovian. I love all things Doctor Who and will talk to anyone who mentions Doctor Who. I bought a T.A.R.D.I.S. wallet and love when someone says “ooh, nice wallet!”

    9. I’m a professional beachcomber. I have found so many treasures on quite a few beaches. What I didn’t expect to find was such a sense of peace as I repeatedly drag home sea glass, shells, driftwood, and rocks. My husband and I now live 6000km away from my favourite beaches. However, a month of summer each year is spent traveling back to the beaches I love.

    10. I’m a mental health advocate and patient. I’m very open about my diagnoses and treatment, and believe that mental health is part of health. I struggle, sometimes daily, but am doing much better than I was a year ago.

    July 26, 2019
    |Reply
  46. Xebi
    Xebi

    I really love and appreciate this post, because 1) it’s so wholesome and just a really nice idea, and 2) it gave me the kick up the arse I needed to finally get help for my depression, because I couldn’t think of one thing I liked about myself, let alone ten. But because it’s here, I MADE myself do it, and I had a long chat with an old friend I used to hang out with a lot 20 or so years ago, and it reminded me of a lot of awesome things I don’t give myself time to appreciate any more. So.

    1) I never give up. I’ve been through some gnarly shit but I never let it break me, I always come out the other side and if I have a goal I don’t give it up without good reason.

    2) People like my eccentricity.

    3) I genuinely care about people. I’m not good at showing it sometimes because my social skills aren’t great and I’m not very good at empathetic conversation because I can’t word very well, but I’ve always fought for people who don’t have it as easy as me.

    4) I have a good ability to recognise my own flaws, and when I’m in a good place mentally that means I can be self aware enough to be able to work on becoming a better person.

    5) I have pretty eyes.

    6) I’m not my mother and I don’t hit or verbally abuse my children like she did. That’s a pretty low bar I know, but having been in her shoes I now appreciate how hard it is to break the cycle when your children are trying you to the very limits of your patience and it would be so easy to just yell and scream and take out all the pressure on them, because that’s how your own parents taught you to deal with negative emotions.

    7) I’m quite good at telling funny stories. People like that.

    8) I’m creative and thoughtful when it comes to home made gifts and meals. Like Jenny I’m a Jack of all trades, but while the stuff I make may be a bit rough around the edges it shows genuine love.

    9) I pay insanely good attention to detail and am really good at tasks that need that sort of care.

    10) I have good critical thinking skills

    YES GUYS I DID IT

    July 26, 2019
    |Reply
  47. claire
    claire

    First I love this post and something I needed to do today

    1: My husband loves me

    2: Dogs love me too! As much as I love them

    3: I’m a good friend/sister/auntie

    4: I’m inquisitive, which helps when I feel socially awkward, I ask questions and learn things!

    5: I have a really good sense of humour

    6: I’m knowledgeable on a lot of mundane subjects

    7: I’m honest

    8: I don’t take nonsense from anyone. I just don’t tolerate bullshit in my life, don’t need it

    9: I don’t wear makeup, I seriously do not care how I look

    10: I’m a good mediator, I can calm situations down

    July 27, 2019
    |Reply
  48. Jenny D
    Jenny D

    1. I’m the kind of smart that’s really good at figuring stuff out. When there’s a technical problem, I’m the one who remembers to actually look at the log files and figure out what is happening, and often also how to fix it or at least work around it,.

    2. I am good with animals. I have a horse and he’s a bit of an asshole but we get along together and we have fun and on occasion he will prefer my company to food, which is pretty much the biggest compliment you can get from a horse. And I have cats and they like me enough to snuggle when they’re not busy doing Cat Things, and I have bird feeders and water out, and generally try to make sure animals in my vicinity are doing well.

    3. I have mostly overcome my fear of spiders. It took a long time and a lot of stubbornness.

    4. I am good with languages – I speak English almost as well as my native Swedish, and I manage French and German well enough to read books in it, though I don’t get enough opportunities to speak it. I’m currently learning Italian.

    5. I am fiercely loyal to my friends. Once someone is in that category, they can trust me to help them as much as possible, whatever they need, and I will always be on their side in any kind of fight.

    6. I like my sense of humour. Unfortunately not everyone else is quite as impressed by my punning, but that’s their problem, not mine.

    7. I’m good at seeing things from other people’s perspectives. This has the downside that I am sometimes bad at setting boundaries, because I keep considering reasons for the other person to do whatever was a problem for me and then it’s harder for me to hold on to the fact that regardless of their reasons, this actually still is a problem for me.

    8. I’m good at writing. Note that I don’t say I’m a good writer or a good author, because merely knowing how to turn a phrase isn’t enough – you need a coherent storyline and pacing and stuff – but I’m actually quite good at the “stringing words together into sentences that express what I want them to” part. The rest, I’m working on.

    9. I love making things, and I love giving away things that I have made. This includes tangible crafty things such as weaving, sewing, knitting, crochet, as well as open source code and fanfic and other things that exist only in the form of electrons/words on a screen. Making is fun, sharing is connecting.

    10. I mostly like my body. I wish it didn’t have endometriosis, and didn’t hurt so much, and that I would be able t oplan things without the ever present “unless I’m not well enough that day”. But mostly I like it, despite it being a bit too fat for current fashion, and getting a bit old and wrinkly. I mostly like looking at myself in the mirror, end when I don’t it’s because of my jerkbrain being a jerk, not because my body isn’t good enough.

    July 27, 2019
    |Reply
  49. SandorClegane4Dany
    SandorClegane4Dany

    The lurker fan comes out of the woodwork… it’s been a rough week for me too. Work has been busy as hell all month, and I lost a 12.5 year old dog to old age on Tuesday. Keeping my head up hasn’t been easy. You have my internet hugs, if you want them.

    1. I have a wonderful bond with several special people. I’m introverted by nature, so going out and mingling is not my jam. However through the internet, art, and shared nerdy interests, I’ve bonded with a handful of people I love like family. I’m also very close to my parents.

    2. I can draw really well. I started when I could hold crayons, and I’m still going at age 30. Being able to see something in my head and make it appear on paper is priceless to me.

    3. My tenacity (while it can feed my anxiety) makes me a hard worker and problem solver.

    4. Spiders, snakes, bats, etc… I love them. I love all animals, except for wasps, blood-suckers, and houseflies. I’m the one my coworkers send to help with spiders, and it’s rewarding to let my 8-legged friends outside rather than letting my colleagues crush them.

    5. I’m very secure in my life choices, and I do me. (You do you.) Openly bi, kinky, single, child-free by choice, a huge nerd, etc.

    6. I am very open about body functions. I belch, I fart, I state when I have to poop or pee. If my period makes me feel shitty, I’m not shy about the reason. Doing my fart* to reduce stigma (especially for women) about the basic things every** body does.
    *this was meant to “part” but I like this typo.
    **exceptions exist of course. My own grandma had a colostomy bag.

    7. Despite being a walking TMI gasbag, I’m very hygenic. Being clean and living in a clean space is important to me, and I take pride in it. Not overkill though. I’m way to lazy to deep clean the house constantly!

    8. I’m fine being alone. In fact, I kind of need to be sometimes to recharge my batteries. Sitting around watching movies and drawing pictures by myself all day can be just as good as an outing (which I also happily do alone.)

    9. Dogs are life to me. Even when they drive me bonkers, life without them just isn’t right. And while human children tend to make me want to hide, puppies make my usually absent maternal instinct come out. I’m wired to mother the wrong species, and I am totally fine with that!

    10. I grew up where I needed to, but I’m a giant child elsewise. Putting away childish things gets a big HELL NO from me.

    July 27, 2019
    |Reply
  50. HeidiAphrodite
    HeidiAphrodite

    Having lost a lot of my self-confidence over the last few years, and being in “survival mode” constantly (according to my therapist), and being riddled with anxiety lately, I need to do this. Ok. 10 things I genuinely like about myself. Ok.

    1. I have awesome eyebrows. I’ve never had to tweeze or fill or anything but comb them. They are great and I love them.
    2. I have freckles.
    3. I have a good sense of humor. The other day, I had an entire elevator of strangers laughing before I got to my floor. (Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Tip your server and try the shrimp cocktail.)
    4. I can type 96 wpm.
    5. Children trust me and I take that very seriously. The other day on my walk, a small child who turned out to be a neighbor’s granddaughter came up to me, took my hand, and said, “you have to help us catch that dog!” The small dog her grandma was babysitting had “escaped” and this sweet tiny girl came right up and asked me for help.
    6. I’m relatively tall. 5’9″-ish. It makes it hard to find shoes and pants, but I like being tall.
    7. I’m smart. I can figure things out pretty fast and retain things well. I will pull out my $5 dictionary words daily just for fun and not be ashamed about it.
    8. I have awesome hair. It’s thick and wavy-curly and healthy and shiny and auburn.
    9. I can sew anything.
    10. I’ve been told I have a great voiceover voice.

    July 27, 2019
    |Reply
    • Michaela Grey
      Michaela Grey

      Please don’t be alarmed by this but I think we might be the same person, except I’m 5’10.

      August 6, 2019
      |Reply
      • Heidi Aphrodite
        Heidi Aphrodite

        Wonder Twin powers activate!! 🙂

        August 6, 2019
        |Reply
        • Michaela Grey
          Michaela Grey

          The world’s not ready for two of us. Dun dun dunnnnn

          August 6, 2019
          |Reply
  51. Askilian
    Askilian

    Huh. You know, I’m one of those “long time reader, first time writing a comment” crew. Anyway… At first I Was going to dismiss that post and not think about it much, then I read your conclusion, and it reminded me how I am NOT able to say anything good about myself, like really. Especially these days, where I’m struggling with a lot of self-doubt, anxiety and self-deprecation… I’m exhausted and probably a little bit burned-out, I’m supposed to defend my thesis on October and I don’t have anything planned after that and don’t even have the energy or motivation to look for a job….. Aaaaaanyway. I’ll try your challenge. Let’s go.

    1 – Probably the only positive thing I can think of when I’m not doing this challenge : I’m quite funny. I love making dad-jokes, bad puns that makes you groan in pain. I often get a laugh out of my friends because of the way I deliver my bad jokes : with a clear indication that I KNOW this joke is BAD but I’m doing it anyway. Sometimes I come up with a real good joke, but that’s usually accidental. I also love to make memes and private jokes for my friends.

    2 – I have empathy. I think. Maybe to much ? I tend to grow attach to thing / people / animals veeery quickly and quite strongly, this can hurt me sometimes, but overall, I think it’s a good thing beause this leads me to always be ready to help or comfort my friends. I’m currently “counseling” a friend going through some troubles I’m not involved in at all, and I’m taking this very seriously and I hope he will be fine…

    3 – I’m always ready to learn things and I’m very curious. As you are, I might well be a Jack of all Trades in some way ? I’m working in a highly specific scientific field involving computers but I know how to sew, I’m fine with plumbing, I draw a lot, I write a little bit, I built my own computer, … I also have lots of theoritical knowledge on a billion subjects going from the birth of a black hole to the building of a cathedral…

    4 – Animals like me. When I was younger, my father sais that I was always befriending the pets of the people we were visiting. Well that’s still kinda true. I don’t have any real secrets besides “respecting the boundaries of the animal you are with”. In the end I’m used to having dogs drooling on me and birds perched on my head. I love it.

    5 – I’m kinda generous? I recently had two friends visit me and even if I’m overworked, I took time to make them a cheesecake and I prepared a small DnD one-shot so that we sould play a little bit. I bought a gift for them and bought them a multiplayer video-game for us to play together. They didn’t even expect me to do half as much (I only announced them the DnD thing so that they could prepare theur character sheets) but I really wanted to do all of that.

    6 – I’m easygoing. Whatever you want to do/to eat/etc, I’ll be cool with it.

    7 – I’m striving to be a better person. Even if I mostly hate myself and don’t think that I’m that nice to be with, at least I’m actively trying to “erase” all of my bad sides… Unlike a guy I know that I once considered a friend, at least he helped me see this big difference between us!

    8 – I like to draw and I’m not that bad at it. I wouldn’t say they’re good drawings because I still have rool for improvement, but I like the most recent ones I did. I recently made some progress regarding character-designs, and I’m quite proud of it, I’m considering opening an Insta account to show them, maybe…

    9 – Not unrelated to 8, but I would consider myself to be creative? I love drawing characters and creating stories. I’m never creating comething “from scratch” and I work with themes or within some “boundaries” to provide me with a basis, then i build something from there. I have a friend who writes notes during the night about “ideas” she has for her own stories (she wants to crite books) and when her sleepy-head comes up with something nonsensical, she posts it on Twitter and I’m having fun finding a story that could fit.

    10 – I love cats. I know it’s not a positive thing about myself, but my cat is looking at me and he’s very cute. Anyway, real-10 : I’m the opposite of a picky-eater. Like, the only things I really cannot eat are pomelos and oysters. I’ve always hated pomelos since I was a kid, and I still can’t. They’re my kryptonite. Put pomelos somewhere and I run away in fear. Oyster, I don’t hate their taste but I hate that they makes me sick because I’m allergic to them and the 3-4 hours of pain and vomit is nooot worth it. Otherwise, I can eat whatever there is and if you want me to try some disgusting-looking food, sure, I’ll try it!

    Well at least I think it worked a little bit. Thank you very much for this gentle kick in the butt, Jenny. I’ll also add that I’m following you / your blog for some time now and I really think you’re a good person. You make me laugh and I learned a lot thanks to you and yout writings here and on Twitter. I hope you’ll feel better soon.

    July 28, 2019
    |Reply
  52. […] I am whenever I’m alone, usually at night time. It was then I remembered seeing a post from Jenny Trout listing 10 things she liked about herself while she was having a bad mental health day. I haven’t blogged in a while, I’ve barely […]

    July 28, 2019
    |Reply
  53. Corbeau
    Corbeau

    1) I’m curious and open minded. Actually I value knowledge and freedom over everything else. I travel as much as I can, I read a lot and I start new things often. There are very few topics that do not interest me at all.
    2) I’m good at analytical thinking as well as creative thought. It’s rare to find both in one individual so I’m proud of that trait.
    3) I’m healthy and strong. Okay, not super strong, but it is enough to enable freedom of movement: hiking, going down caves, swimming long distances, climbing rocks etc. I was born with a short Achilles tendon and trained from a young age to correct it. Which leads us to the next point:
    4) I’m a fighter. Granted, a lot of people on this planet had and has it worse than me. But my life had its serious downs too: I’ve been starving twice, my mom had cancer when I was a small child, my dad left the picture early on, my step-dad abused me verbally and sexually and so on. But I got through it all with a determination to go forward.
    5) I adapt to situations quickly. Being poor or being rich, staying in a leaky tent, or visiting a high class event, I change my colours and play with the cards I’m given in a blink of an eye.
    6) Despite that I have a strong idea of who am and where I am going and I don’t let people paint me their colours. I can look up to people and learn from them but I don’t let anyone tell me how to live my life.
    7) I have a wry and sometimes dark sense of humour.
    8) I’m a good story-teller. (And I have a lot of stories to tell, my life is pretty eventful). This one is not so obvious in English since most of the flavours and finesse of my communication gets lost in translation even though I think I can speak English rather well.
    9) I’m brave. Not fearless and not reckless either, but I don’t let my insecurities and anxieties stop me from trying out new things.
    10) I have a “live and let live” attitude and I try to understand people and get along with them as much as possible without harm coming to my own person.

    This feels like gloating, honestly. I’m not as great a guy as this little personal advertisement paints me. But well, these were ten things I like about myself.

    July 29, 2019
    |Reply
    • Jules
      Jules

      As I get older I realize there is nothing wrong with a little gloating. We are taught to be so critical of ourselves that it feels almost wrong to toot ones own horn. But if we don’t, who will?

      This has been very interesting to read. Many of us seem to like the same things about ourselves. Lots of humor and creativity, love of animals. Some adventurers, some deep thinkers. Lots of people just doing small kindnesses. I am loving the positive vibes this thread is sending out.

      Thanks for this Jenny.

      July 29, 2019
      |Reply
  54. Sam Beringer
    Sam Beringer

    1) My eyes. They’re a pretty shade of blue-gray. When my brain tries to put me down for how I look, I can point to my eyes as proof that I have at least one thing going for me.
    2) I’m secure in my sexuality. Or lack of. Point is, I know what I want and don’t let people convince me that I’m weird or have something wrong with me.
    3) I’m a passionate person. Sometimes I can get over dramatic, but I care deeply about a lot of things.
    4) I’m a pretty good singer.
    5) I’m a good baker and cake decorator, too.
    6) I’m a responsible person. While I can be lazy, I will get stuff done when it needs to be done.
    7) I recognize when I’ve done something wrong and own up to it.
    8) I have a good sense of humor and can laugh at myself.
    9) My cat loves me. He’s an asshole at times, but he also cuddles up with me and sometimes falls asleep on me.
    10) I have a good moral compass. I know what’s right even if it may not be legal.

    July 30, 2019
    |Reply
    • Siobhannabon
      Siobhannabon

      Hey, are you Ace? Me too! It’s taken me a while to come around to where I fit in the spectrum (it didn’t help that when I first heard about it, it was presented as complete abstinence) but I am proud to be ace too. There’s more of us then you would think. You are not weird, you know yourself and won’t compromise from peer pressure. Believe it or not, that takes some balls. Screw anyone who ever made you feel like that x

      August 2, 2019
      |Reply
      • Michaela Grey
        Michaela Grey

        Chiming in with being demisexual! Took me a long time to figure that out about me. I don’t feel sexual attraction often, and never without an emotional bond. I thought I was 100% ace for a loooong time, but turned out that was just an emotionally absent husband and physical issues. *fist-bumps you both*

        August 6, 2019
        |Reply
  55. Ki
    Ki

    Late to the game, but…

    1. I listen. If someone wants to talk, I am There. Not just the lip service “listening” where you hear but don’t listen. The kind where you genuinely want to know what’s going on and be that shoulder.

    2. I can write okay. There are people who enjoy what I write. I read a thing recently where someone explained that your own writing feels flat and boring and trite because you’ve been living it for so long that it’s not “new” to you. It’s part of you, in your head for so long that you can no longer see how good it actually is from an objective standpoint. So I try to remember that, and listen to my readers when they give feedback.

    3. In conjunction with 3: I’m good at writing descriptions in particular. I have a knack for painting word pictures, and similes/metaphors are something I enjoy.

    4. I am DMing a Dungeons and Dragons campaign and my players are enjoying it. I don’t know if it’s anything unique or if other people would enjoy it (because it’s hard to be objective) but my players are having fun and that right there is priority one.

    5. I’m good at multitasking. If there’s one thing my ADD brain is good for, it’s holding 10 different threads at once. This can be story plots, work things, or (text) conversations, or a mix of many different things.

    6. I’m very good at my job. I won’t go into the particulars about it, but I’m steady and calm and the “rock in the storm” for the rest of my department when stuff hits the fan.

    7. I love unconditionally.

    8. Chiming in with the “jack of all trades” again. I love learning things and figuring out how to do a thing or how it works.

    9. I! LOVE! MAKING! THINGS! I’m a costumer and have been teaching myself (with some YouTube help) to make EVA foam and also Worbla armor for costumes. My wife and I have won our category both times we’ve entered the contest at the local convention (which is here in Seattle and fairly enormous.)

    10. I can put together IKEA furniture quickly and correctly without any pieces mysteriously left over.

    July 30, 2019
    |Reply
  56. quizzabella
    quizzabella

    First up, good for you Jenny, and thanks for making me laugh at your reviews.
    Things I like about myself.
    !. My adopted cats Bilbo and Baggins love me, so did Ollie who I found in the woodshed and was like “I’m going to live here now”.
    2. I’m quite daft and share my silly sense of humor with my family.
    3.I am kind. I would never hurt anyone.
    4.I can paint and people I don’t know have my work on their walls.
    5.I’m friendly and old people tend to sort of adopt me when I’m on buses.
    6. I managed to survive sexual assault without hating men
    7. I graduated from university
    8. Although I don’t have any of my own I’m really good with kids
    9. I’m a good rider and can even ride sidesaddle
    10. I can write and started a writers group called the Random Scribblers (quite a lot of it is tea and cake because we are British)

    July 30, 2019
    |Reply
  57. Caitlin
    Caitlin

    Lurker here, about to take the plunge… I love your blog, Jenny!

    Things I like about myself
    1. I have really good hair and skin and have to do basically nothing to maintain this.
    2. I’m freaking awesome at knitting. Seriously.
    3. I’m an awesome friend.
    4. I make most of my own clothes and I’m slowly getting better at identifying “gaps” in my wardrobe and filling them. But I still own 4 of the same dress and may well make more.
    5. I sing. Not professionally or on stage, but around a campfire I’ve been known to go a few rounds of folksongs.
    6. I made myself a really nice songbook to record the lyrics for when I forget or anyone else forgets the words to a song, so that we can all join in
    7. I’ve got a really good memory for tunes.
    8. I’m really organised. Every week I make a meal plan and stick to it.
    9. Stolen from Ki… I also love (and am good at) making IKEA furniture. It’s never phased me.
    10. I’ve almost finished my PhD and I’m really, really proud of it. The thesis I’ve written is great and timely and important.

    Thanks for such a great prompt Jenny, and thanks for sharing everyone!

    July 30, 2019
    |Reply
  58. Morgan H.
    Morgan H.

    Not to sound too much like my mom, but what a lovely idea!

    1. I have good hair and very slender, elegant hands. My nails also grow long and strong. I have a good nose and I look good with short hair. I’m putting all the physical stuff I like about myself in one point.
    2. I’m a good listener, even though my attention span isn’t the greatest.
    3. I forgive my friends easily, despite my tendency to hold grudges.
    4. I write well! I self-published a novel this year that has been moderately successful and I’m proud of it.
    5. I have published other novels on AO3 and I’m very proud of them too. Even if they are ‘only’ fanfiction, writing that amount isn’t easy, and finishing is definitely not easy.
    6. I get along well with people. I’m good at keeping conversation going with people I’ve just met for the first time.
    7. I am empathetic, sometimes to a fault.
    8. I am moderately witty. Enough to make my friends laugh, anyway. Sometimes I make the entire party laugh and let me tell you, that is like crack cocaine. I live those moment again and again.
    9. I’m a good cook. Even if I’ve been too depressed to make any complicated meals lately, it’s a skill I taught myself in my early 20s, partially as a way to deal with my ED but also because it was genuinely interesting. I made rainbow trout with butter garlic sauce en papillote last Friday and it was tender and delicious. And it was easy! It really was! anyone reading this who thinks cooking is hard, it’s not! You just have to be willing to make mistakes. It was also probably the best thing I did when I was 20 and in the midst of starving myself; cooking gave me the control I craved.
    10. I am good at my job (which is not writing).

    July 31, 2019
    |Reply
  59. Siobhannabon
    Siobhannabon

    Let’s do this!

    1-my manager said this of me “she has intelligence and common sense”. Some people are smart but make can’t always use logic. Some people are rational but haven’t had the best education. For me it was a huge compliment that she thought I had both, and it boosted my self esteem because dammit I believe it!

    2-I went back to flute after 23 years of not playing (and I wasn’t even grade one when I did) and it’s like a second skin. I have missed my flute! I don’t want to become a concert flautist, I just want to play for me.

    3-Despite setbacks and physical/mental issues, I think I’m a pretty awesome mum. My son and I are close and we share a lot. He’s nearly a teenager so that’s a big win, right?

    4-I can sketch pretty well. I’d love to be good at manga and stuff but when I put pencil to paper it comes out semi-realistic. I don’t draw as often as I’d like but hey, getting a decent drawing with minimal practice is a good thing right?

    5-I can do basic maths quicker than a calculator. Like, addition and subtraction. Multiplication and division takes me a little longer. My boss and I race to do the maths on sales all the time and I beat her and her calculator a LOT.

    6-I can overcome a lot of adversity. I nearly died 11 years ago and had to relearn so much. I couldn’t talk with people properly, couldn’t understand them, couldn’t do much without hurting everywhere and worse, forgot nearly all the important moments of my life (like my son’s first year). Reading, writing, talking with my mum over and over, it was all like a personal therapy and now people meet me and see me as capable and smart (see above) and have no idea how close I came to losing everything. I’m not where I used to be, but I’m kicking ass where I can.

    7-I’ve made some good life experiences for my son and me. Considering the above, we’ve visited quite a few countries (with my parents), met a lot of idols, done comic cons and trips to amazing places (like ThomasLand when he was 3). I’m always looking for something else that stands out, to pepper his life with good moments. They’re how you get through the bad.

    8-I’m close with my family. Particularly my parents. We’re a big family and now there’s kids as well it’s even bigger. I like that we can do family events and help each other with the younger kids and the older ones can play together. Some of us do factory work, others are teachers or doctors, we fought like crazy as kids but now we’ve made peace.

    9-as above with experiences, I like to collect certain things. Like, fandom items people wouldn’t normally pick up. I have Captain America coasters, a Supernatural pillow (Jack, because he is the sweetest spawn of Lucifer ever). A lot of it is from small businesses. I help them keep going, they give me some quirky stuff filled with love.

    10-I’m borrowing your number 10, Jen. I think I’m a loyal friend. Sometimes my fatigue is too bad to keep up and at the moment I’m limiting screen time as I’ve had a promotion at work and been left in charge so need to control my energy levels. But you bet your ass someone needs me and I’m there. But I’m not a doormat and won’t be used either. It’s taken a long time to figure out who appreciates my loyalty and doesn’t abuse it but those who are left are the best people I know. I’d do almost anything for them.

    August 2, 2019
    |Reply
  60. Biev
    Biev

    1. I’m honest with myself and others about how I feel at any given time.
    2. I pick up on how other people feel better than they can.
    3. I’m good at problem-solving and thinking outside the box.
    4. I always find a way to laugh at my own misfortune.
    5. I can take one look at my salamanders and tell how they’re feeling.
    6. I make shit happen.
    7. I have made life better for a lot of research animals.
    8. I have no trouble walking away from a job where I am mistreated or made to go against my values.
    9. I don’t believe in ghosts, gods, chakras, horoscopes, life after death or any of that magical thinking esoteric bullshit, and that’s empowering to me.
    10. I just want everyone to be happy.

    August 2, 2019
    |Reply
  61. Michaela Grey
    Michaela Grey

    I’m reading all of these and you guys are all so fucking amazing, holy shit.

    1. I was raised in what amounts to a cult, had my childhood stolen, was brainwashed and confused and ran straight into a marriage with a man who was wrong for me. I found the courage to leave him at 38 years old. It took me two years just to work up the nerve.

    2. I’m fucking FUNNY. People enjoy being around me because I’m good at making them laugh. This is important to me because my father believed women weren’t funny, to the extent that he would refuse to laugh at my jokes, so it’s something I’m reclaiming. I’m funny, goddammit.

    3. Animals adore me. Your shyest dog or prickliest cat will be in my lap within half an hour or so.

    4. I decided I wanted to be a writer, and did it. It took/is taking years, especially coupled with the depression/failing marriage/fibromyalgia and other disabilities, but I have a loyal, utterly lovely fanbase and readers who’ll follow me from genre to genre and hop through pairings simply because I wrote it.

    5. My kid is incredible. I’m taking credit for this, because I’m raising her on my own. She’s sharp and sarcastic and she cares so deeply, she’s a delight.

    6. If you’re my friend, I’ll do anything for you. ANYTHING. I’ll move mountains to help.

    7. I’m nice. I will see someone struggling with something and spontaneously offer my help, despite my own disabilities, because I can’t bear to see someone else suffer if I can help.

    8. I have great taste in music and a good singing voice. It could be great, if I developed and trained it, but I just enjoy singing for myself.

    9. I understand and allow both my cats and my kid to be themselves, with their own boundaries and permissions. Don’t want me to pick you up? I won’t pick you up. Don’t want to be touched at all? Your body, your rules. I’ll tell you I love you from across the room and keep my hands to myself until you ask for physical affection. I never stint on love but I also don’t force it on them in ways they don’t want.

    10. I fought suicide and won.

    August 6, 2019
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  62. Anna Namus
    Anna Namus

    Hopefully, this will never be read, but like many others said, I could really use the pick-me-up.

    1. I have a good sense of humor and love to laugh.
    2. I’m a solid friend. I don’t have a lot of friends, but they can count on me.
    3. I enjoy helping things – plants, animals, people, whatever.
    4. I keep calm in difficult situations, can stomach pretty horrible things, and can usually do it with a poker face.
    5. I love deeply.
    6. I try to always look for the good in things.
    7. I’m bettering myself, if only one little piece at a time.
    8. I can work hard.
    9. I have a wonderful memory for and love of weird things.
    10. The delivery may go off the rails, but I really, truly, almost always have good intentions. I try very, very hard to be understanding and keep good wishes and thoughts for others.

    Well, this helped highlight several things I need to work on more, but it did make me feel a little better. Thanks as always, Jenny. 🙂

    August 8, 2019
    |Reply
  63. Tami
    Tami

    Can I go up to 11? (Spinal Tap reference…)

    11. I love that I am here in the company of so many awesome people and that I found this community because of Jenny. 🙂

    August 10, 2019
    |Reply
    • Regret
      Regret

      🙂

      September 2, 2019
      |Reply
  64. Regret
    Regret

    1. I am physically strong (surprisingly so, for an overweight nerd). I love it even more because I worked for it, and because it taught me my body is modifiable. Also, it let’s me help my friends when heavy stuff needs to be moved.
    2. I have a crappy tattoo of what is supposed to be Japanese for friendship (I think they are called kanji). It was given to me by then good friends. Oneof those friends I recently got in touch with again, one turned into a racist asshole, and the third I simply lost contact with. Despite all that I still love my reasons for getting it.
    3. I enjoy being alone, especially when unhappy but also when happy. The big difference is that if I am feeling good I will eventually seek out social interactions with good people.
    4. I can enjoy the little things like the sound of wind in leaves, or the way the clouds’ shadows move over water, or the million shattered reflections of the sun on choppy water.
    5. My primary mode of transportation is my bicycle. I ride 9km twice a day to get to work and back.
    6. I enjoy baking bread, even though I am bad at it.
    7. I can cook. Not very well, but good enough to enjoy doing it.
    8. My library (I have a couple hundred books). In all other aspects I try to be a minimalist, but I honestly believe books don’t count. I love loaning books to people, knowledge wants to spread and I want help.
    9. I am respected at work, partially because I do good work (though I spend too much time messing around on the internet), and partially because I know a lot and have a strong desire to figure out everything I don’t know yet.
    10. I am crazy protective of my loved ones.
    11. I am (usually) calm when shit hits the fan because I can postpone the emotional turmoil that comes with extreme situations. Sadly, this does not apply to performing in front of a group.
    12. I break rules and ignore conventions (like limiting myself to a set number of reasons to like myself). This would be a bad thing if most rules made sense, but most don’t. This can be as trivial as stepping over an ankle-height fence instead of walking around.
    13. Friends’ reactions imply I give good advice about understanding people and relationships, even though my experience in the rleationship field is limited. It is possible that they are merely humouring me, but that would mean I have good friends so in that case I will be proud of that instead.
    14. I like camping and I have decent survival and minimalist living skills.
    15. One of my favourite descriptions of myself is “I’m not twisting anything, the world is twisted and I am simply pointing it out.”
    16. I learned how to be less-conscious without alcohol. Not necessarily a good thing, but it achieves my goals with less damage to my liver and generally improves my quality of life.
    17. For someone who hates himself as much as I do, I sure got a lot of things I like about myself.

    On a more negative note, I completely forgot to post this for a full month.

    September 2, 2019
    |Reply
  65. BayBay
    BayBay

    I’ve never posted on here before but I’ve been reading your content for years, Jenny Trout. Your doing this exercise inspired me to do the same so here I am:

    1. I have a really expansive and expressive vocabulary.
    2. People trust me to do the things I say I will do. ( I don’t always, but I must do it often enough.)
    3. I don’t make my problems other people’s problems. (keep my shit on lock)
    4. I’m gorgeous. (I talk like this bc of a long battle with self esteem I had so I got some overcompensating to do but damn. I’m 10/10. Banging.)
    5. It’s easy for me to experience wonder and awe. (cried while looking at a whale skeleton once)
    6. My friends are the best people on the planet. (got some Fulbright scholars and hella educators and just wildly wonderfully generous people in my life and that muse be a good sign, huh?)
    7. I give others the benefit of the doubt. (whatever you do I really do believe you meant well)
    8. I have choice-ass dreams that are vivid and exciting.
    9. I’m honest. (incapable of maintaining a facade or falsehoods and can’t lie for shit)
    10. I pack light. (three weeks in Europe in one cary-on wheeled suitcase bitches)

    September 11, 2019
    |Reply
  66. Jules
    Jules

    “5. It’s easy for me to experience wonder and awe. (cried while looking at a whale skeleton once)”

    I love that one! I am the same. A couple years ago I went to Joshua Tree National Park. It is vast and towards the center there is no manmade light at all. So at night, when the stars come out they really come out. I laid down on a picnic table and stared up at the sky and felt such an overwhelming feeling of awe. I cried, not bawling or sobbing, I just couldn’t keep in the overwhelming feeling I felt and tears just came out. It was one of the most amazing moments of my life. I just felt incredibly connected to the universe in that moment. Amazing and I am so grateful I am the type of person who can experience something like that and fully appreciate it.

    September 11, 2019
    |Reply

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