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2021: The Year Of Chaotic Creation

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Here’s what I’m doing in 2021. If it sounds good to you, do it, too. I think after the hell year of 2020 and the fact that there really isn’t a ton of light at the end of the tunnel yet, we all need something to get us off the couch and away from doom scrolling and binge-watching, and generally just wandering around in a stupor. We might not be able to get out of the house, but we can get into our heads.

In 2021, I am creating chaotically. And when I say it’s gonna be chaos…it’s gonna be chaos. Because I realized that there is a) no reason that all of my creative energy needs to go into either secret projects I don’t show anyone for fear of feeling “monetized” or projects that are extremely monetized and b) I’m my own boss and I can do literally whatever I want.

Obviously, I’ve got the recaps I’m going to keep doing because I like doing those (although Buffy is getting harder to get on board with; Joss Whedon makes my skin crawl and he’s basically destroyed my love for the show). I’m going to devote more time to The Business Centaur’s Virgin Temp, because I’m enjoying that, too.

But you know what else I enjoy? LITERALLY EVERYTHING.

If you stood in my office and you saw all the stuff in here, you’d be like, “This person has never finished a craft project in her life.” I have so many hobbies that in the past, I’ve had to actively participate in community craft fairs to be able to afford more supplies. I’m like some Dickensian urchin warming himself in a doorway, begging passers by, “Please, sir, just a drop of gouache?”

Here are all the things I like…do:

  • knitting
  • crochet
  • community theater
  • oil and acrylic paintings
  • painting and designing custom ouija boards
  • decorating miniature rooms in an unfinished wooden castle for no reason
  • play a little bit of a lot of different instruments, badly
  • sing
  • game
  • crafting theatrical props
  • writing thoughts about metaphysical stuff and rarely posting to a hobby blog
  • epoxy resin pieces
  • watercolor
  • counted cross-stitch
  • illustrating a children’s book I made up
  • bullet journaling
  • coloring in those adult coloring books which is a misleading name because there aren’t any bewbs.
  • soap making
  • needle felting
  • fanfic
  • writing screenplays/teleplays of my own work
  • So much weird mixed medium stuff

Writing is such a very small percentage of what comes out of my head. While I sometimes post art on Instagram, I generally keep it under my hat because I am a writer, you see, and there is only ONE THING I AM ALLOWED TO BE.

Everyone told me that when I turned forty, I would no longer give any fucks. Any at all. And surprisingly, the area hardest hit was my perception of myself and how I’d pigeon-holed myself. Not a single fuck left. I don’t need to keep a side hobby blog for my witchy-poo nonsense. There’s no reason I’m not allowed to put that here. And there’s no reason I’m not allowed to put my art here when it’s not a mental health update or something. And if I want to make a YouTube video of me singing “The Star-Spangled Banner” in front of a green screen scrolling a constant loop of kittens barfing in the background? There’s no reason I shouldn’t put it on this blog.

It’s my blog.

Also, the description of what my company, Trout Nation Inc., does is very vague and I’m the sole shareholder. I’ve also heard that blogs are “dead,” so if I’m one of the last villagers in this abandoned valley, I’m gonna take this in a real, real strange direction.

I know, Business Centaurs aren’t strange enough.

I guess what I’m saying is, plan on seeing a bunch of random stuff next year, as I allow my creative self to do whatever it fucking feels like and I just vomit it in here and on my YouTube channel. If you decide to do the same thing, let’s call it a Chaotic Creation Challenge, and you wanna post stuff to your blog or your social media, put a link in the comments to share. I don’t care if you come back to this post in July like, “Just built the largest card house I’ve ever achieved,” everyone is going to be psyched for you.

Because I’m the President-King of Trout Nation and I decree that we all have to be psyched for each other.

I’m not saying that 2021 is gonna be our best year. I’m definitely not setting goals in stone; we’ve seen how well that’s worked out progressively every year since 2016. But I am saying that 2020 took a lot of stuff from us and it’s time to create in the face of destruction, if that does, in fact, make you feel more hopeful.

If it doesn’t, then I invite you to take the Miserable Bastard Challenge, which is like the Chaotic Creation thing but just staying super cynical and angry. I fully support anyone who just cannot fucking trust 2021.

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  1. Jessica Venable
    Jessica Venable

    yay! I love random shit.

    And if blogs are dead, no one gave me the memo cause I started my own crafty blog earlier this year too. And it’s hilarious. XD

    There’s an awful lot of posts in November and early December, but I’ve slowed since I caught up on all my WIPs and FOs. and there were surprisingly a lot for how low my mojo felt throughout the year.

    Love your blog and your face!

    December 26, 2020
  2. W1ldflower

    I love your blog. That’s all.

    December 26, 2020
  3. Flynny

    This is fantastic! As much as I truly love your writing, I think it would be great to see more of your other creations! And I love that your interests are as varied as my own, and many are the same things that I enjoy. I look forward to continuing to read your blog. I don’t care if blogs are dead or whatever—yours will never die!!!!

    December 26, 2020
  4. Stella Price
    Stella Price

    Dude what you are saying is called your ASCENSION. its when 40 happens and you say fuck all to convention and do what makes YOU feel good… Be it finally wearing all the clothes you want, making your house your creative outlet, starting that hobby you wanted to do… Everything is possible in your ascension, because No fucks are given. You get to become everything you have ever wanted because you have hit all your obligations.

    And whats best about it is… it doesn’t end till you actually skip this mortal coil and finally ascend. Too many women do not embrace these notions, and Im a HUGE fan of the idea. So go nuts, create chaotically but do what makes YOU feel better, and happy. because we all deserve our ascension.

    I love this. Im 100% on board as Im already a year into my own ascension.

    December 26, 2020
  5. Katy S
    Katy S

    I am DOWN. I’ve tried at various points over the last decade+ to parcel out my hobbies and interests and creativity into different blogs/tumblr sideblogs/screen names/etc, and the result is always feeling spread so thin that I abandon everything. Chaotic mixes it is!

    December 26, 2020
  6. Clare Agrippina
    Clare Agrippina

    Love the idea of this; I started to be a bit more adventures in 2020 now that I’ve moved out of my In-laws place but I love the thought of exploring more in the Chaotic Creation Challenge!
    I’ve been doing some acrylic pouring which is a delight but it’s over so quick for the AMOUNT OF MESS IT MAKES. I’d love to start making miniatures, especially those really cool book ends that look like a little alleyway.

    Looking forward to seeing what you create in the new year 😀

    December 27, 2020
  7. Tez Miller
    Tez Miller

    Speaking of blogging, got a rude awakening when I tried to post of my own blog last month – WordPress have changed their settings, and I can’t find out to add categories to my posts, and the tags don’t seem to be showing up, and I DON’T LIKE CHANGE!

    (Mind you, I only have the free edition of WP – presumably things are easy to find and change for the paid people.)

    Anyhoo, if anyone has WP tech advice, my inbox is always open.

    Also I need to figure out how to subscribe to people’s blogs via email, since I gave up on feed-readers after Google Reader (or whatever it was called) was discontinued. And not every Facebook page/profile has a notification option. Only way I’m finding things out (since I don’t have time to scroll FB and Twitter) is via author newsletters/alert-emails and my own Amazon searches.

    I have no creative urges anymore (just reading your list of hobbies exhausts me), but I’d like to rediscover the love of reading. I read two five-star books in a row in…October when my area opened (I remember this because I stood in line for a haircut for over 45 minutes, and finished the second of my five-star reads). Since then, I have a bedroom full of unread books, including library books, and a laptop full of eBooks, and just can’t summon up enthusiasm or energy to read anything. Minus the two short stories I read when the wi-fi was out. And I managed two sessions of bathtime reading of a non-fiction book (which is easy to pick up after I haven’t touched it for awhile, because I don’t need to remember what happened earlier in the book).

    Also, book promotion. It’s where I get my book budget (Amazon Associates credits), and the money only goes toward buying more eBooks that I may or may not read but I own them anyway. I’m currently on a Kindle Unlimited free-trial, so I may consider buying a subscription, even though they’re like $10 a month, but in order to afford that, I need to earn more Amazon Associates credits.

    I usually donate books to the parish/school fete, but the event didn’t happen this year. So I guess I better try to list everything on eBay, or be more proactive about finding a book-swap group, or somewhere I can sell my books second-hand. (Anyone in VIC, Australia, with leads – please contact me!)

    Anyway, that’s as far as my “creative plans for 2021” go. Other than that, just taking one day at a time. I have a lot of personal stuff to deal with.

    Thanks for providing comment space for me to brain-dump!

    December 27, 2020
  8. Jon

    I’m sorry to hear that Whedon’s increasing creepiness has destroyed your enjoyment of Buffy. Much as I enjoy the commentaries I don’t want you to feel pressured into providing us something you no longer enjoy writing.

    December 27, 2020
  9. Totally with you on this one. I have such a ridiculously long list of crafting hobbies I like, but every time I read about a new one I’m “I must drop everything and learn all about this new thing at once”.

    I look forward to seeing what 2021 brings to this blog. If blogging is dead then bring on the revival.

    December 27, 2020
  10. Lauren (not Carr)
    Lauren (not Carr)

    Woo!!! Loving this energy!!

    And also, on a serious note– you are one of the wittiest people I know of, and I am excited to see your work, no matter what it is about. I used to check this blog every day throughout my last year or so of high school, and it was one of the highlights.

    TLDR: excited to see what you’re going to do, because you’re worth being excited over, and if it’s something that you want to do, then it’s going to be good!

    December 27, 2020
    • Tez Miller
      Tez Miller

      High school? Making us feel old now, Lauren 😉

      December 28, 2020
  11. Bookjunk

    Well, now at least something’s going to be awesome in 2021!

    December 27, 2020
  12. Zev

    Miserable and Cynical Bastard who doesn’t trust 2021 REPORTING IN.
    I most often retweet, but am trying to tweet happy things. I’ve been writing more fanfiction this year. I am iszevthere on and

    This year has been chaotically creative for me I guess, too. I am a semi-professional live theatre actor. This year, I have done more Zoom theatre stage readings than I have done live theatre since I was a kid. I was a semi-professional child actor from ages twelve to eighteen, and did twenty-four shows in six years. Also this year, happily, I have taken over a dozen acting workshops and professional classes, and dance classes. It’s huge. I submitted my first ten-minute play, and might have a chance to write and submit another one in a few days. Next year, things are going to reopen and a lot of companies won’t do Zoom theatre anymore, so I am cherishing the time I have left.

    I have an entry on my blog of what “Buffy” episodes I like to watch every time. It’s…narrowing. Every time I take an episode off, I write a few sentences about why I don’t like it anymore. It’s–sad. I used to really like the show. I still read and adore your recaps of the show. Joss Whedon has a lot of bad takes and made horrific decisions, especially in re Spike and Dawn. Kick James Marsters off the show, people. I don’t care how awesome he is. He’s being creepy towards a minor. And does anyone else feel like cold mud is being poured down their back with the whole “Dawn has a crush on Spike” nonsense -when Marsters was being creepy towards Michelle Trachtenberg-? EW.

    Tangentially related: my blog is primarily an amateur book and script review blog. Sometimes I blog about theatre and my personal life. Not creative necessarily, but I’ll put a link below.

    December 28, 2020
  13. Gretel

    I’m looking forward to your new blog! Personally, I love when people have more than one interest, as humans usually do, and when they just enjoy themselves and their hobbies, I also have fun. If you have fun, that is enough reason to do however you please. An added bonus is that we’ll also have fun with you.

    I feel ya in regards to Whedon. There’s a few movies or series I have a hard time enjoying because some people are so openly toxic and abusive. I love The Mandalorian but then I think about Dawson and the other actress who is a T supporter and I just…can’t enjoy it as much.
    HP has completely lost its appeal to me and the only thing I consume in regards to that is a YouTube series by a German creator who takes a look at five minutes of the first movie in each video to talk about anything and everything that happens within the scene. For example, she talked at length about the moving paintings or the textiles used in scenes, the history of the buildings, behind-the-scenes information, in world stories, etc.

    December 31, 2020
  14. Kay

    I genuinely love the chapters you drop on The Business Centaur. I’ve read a lot of your stuff, and this is honestly way up there for me. I’ve missed them, but know also that I see and respect your need for distance and creative space.

    Also! I have never paid attention to tarot, but the video you put together when you were taking down that ridiculous circus book (is that what it was? Can barely recall) was SO enjoyable. I think I watched it 2 or 3 times. So yeah. ALL OF THIS TO SAY I like when you get weird and indulgent and let us in on your (many) interests.

    Do you!

    January 1, 2021
  15. Oh yay! I love this! I have already been doing this for the better part of 2020. I’ve also always struggled with ‘I do too many different things, dammit! People will think I’m not professional enough’. But, in 2020 my brain apparently said, fuck it, I feel like knitting, taking up embroidery again, take up witchcraft again, and a bunch of other stuff. So I’ve decided to just go with it, and on top of everything else I do make embroidery patterns and colouring pages out of my illustrations.
    My website is

    Also, you might like Harriet Muncaster’s Instagram page. She’s a children’s author and illustrator and loves anything miniature and she also has a miniature castle project that’s been going on for almost a decade already. It’s awesome and adorable. Maybe you can get some good inspiration from it.

    January 5, 2021
  16. Hello everyone. *friendly waving emoticon*

    This post speaks to me on a deep level, so I’ll come out of lurking and reveal myself. You’ve just found a label for what I’ve been doing for years: Chaotic Creation. I’ve been calling it having too many hobbies. Let’s see:

    drawing/painting traditionally and digitally,
    crochet (mostly amigurumi) – I have enormous amounts of yarn, sorted by type and colour,
    a little bit of knooking (tried to learn knitting, but stalled),
    playing/singing in a folk band (on hold),
    crafting in general, mostly with paper,
    Froebel star making (now in three dimensions),
    cross-stitch embroidery and bead pictures,
    gardening (I have a balcony since late August 2020, yay!),
    making little creatures with air-drying clay,
    pixel art,
    mathematical thoughts about crafts (like: what would 4d Froebel stars look like?),
    one day writing a full story down (not much until now)

    Here is a link to the only social media site I’m on (literally):

    I’ve been reading your blog for a long time now and always find your entries engaging and well-written. So thank you for all the writing and sharing. I’m looking forward to what you’ll create in the future. *insert eager emoticon here*

    Happy 2021!

    January 6, 2021
  17. AlgaeNymph

    I’ve never seen Buffy, and am out of the loop regarding Joss. How’s he make your skin crawl?

    I’ll take your word for it. I’m not doubting, just clueless and curious.

    January 12, 2021
  18. You specifically not any more fucks is unsurprising.
    I’m trying to get some of my creative stuff organized. I’m hoping to get some writing jobs this year.

    I’m also going to try to finally finish some blog pieces I’ve had on the back burner for a while.

    January 17, 2021
  19. Yes, please! XD Let’s just make all the shit!

    April 14, 2021

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